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5:25-Player and referee introductions. Always good to watch an Ed Hochuli-officiated ball game.
5:27-Carolina wins the toss. No one notices since we have ten people crammed into a dorm room-very hectic. Two of them are approximately an hour away from vomiting a gallon of milk.
5:29-And the Gallon Challenge begins! Oh, and Adam Vinatieri kicks off Super Bowl XXXVIII. Interesting strategy situation here: Mike is pouring his milk into a cup, rationing it out. Doug is chugging straight out of his carton.
5:37-Mike just discloses that he is lactose-intolerant. Pandemonium ensues.
5:52-7:24 left in the first quarter, and I'm sick of the shameless CBS self-promotion. It's going to be a looong night.
5:53-The Panthers run a bubble screen to Steve Smith. Missouri fans everywhere have painful flashbacks.
5:59-Thirty-minute mark in the Gallon Challenge: Doug is exactly halfway through his gallon, Mike has pummelled about 2/3 of his. Both of them claim-and appear-to be holding up just fine.
6:12-And the most uneventful first quarter in Super Bowl history mercifully comes to an end. The second quarter begins the same way: a run, for zero yards, by Antowain Smith. Morris declares, "The Super Bowl will end in a scoreless tie. Both teams are going to run out of pitchers, and Bud Selig's going to call it off." If this happens there might be rioting in the streets
.
6:21-8 minutes to go, and Mike pulls up. Helluva perfomance, gritty showing. What a gamer, he just didn't have enough gas in the tank. [Generic football announcer voice/off]
6:22-Mike takes some heat for being unable to finish, then points out that the gallon is actually larger than his stomach. Not much argument from me.
6:25-Four minutes left. Doug's got about two ounces left, and he's not looking good. Mike, in a courageous act of friendship, declares, "Doug, if you're puking, I'm puking."
6:34-Amazing. Doug just finished his gallon in 58 minutes and 30 seconds. We challenged him to finish Mike's milk, but he refused. He has yet to vomit, five minutes after downing the last drop of milk. The prospect of witnessing a gallon of milk in reverse doesn't look good. Also, the Panthers just got screwed on a BS spot.
6:36-Great. Now that the gallon challenge is over, we gotta focus on this game. Exciting.
6:39-Is there any golf on?
6:47-Touchdown, Pats. If Tom Brady gets MVP, I'm going to be bitter. He's nothing but mediocre, yet he is a media darling.
6:50-The ensuing kickoff is returned to the 10-yard line by He Hate Me, and flags fly. Greg Gumbel announces "It's raining yellow." It's the Super Bowl, not an R. Kelly video.
7:01-3rd and 10, and Delhomme finds Steve Smith down the sidelines to tie it up. As The World's Biggest Steve Smith Fan, I celebrated that touchdown way too much.
7:14-After a sleep-inducing quarter and a half, we have a flurry of activity, and halftime arrives with the Patriots up 14-10.
7:29-This is a strange halftime show. Morris hits the nail on the head when he declares, "Kid Rock just isn't the same without his midget."
7:36-I turn away from the screen�and missed it. And you know what I mean by "it." Russ, from down the hall, enters the room not ten seconds later and announces, "That was definitely tit!"
7:46-Did anyone else notice Teddy Bruschi's eyes light up when the streaker ran onto the field? My friend Evan commented, "I saw that guy running out there, and my initial thought was, 'Hey, why did John Kasay take his jersey off?'" He' a quick one, that Evan Godt.
8:00-I took an impromptu poll, and 72.8 percent of me thinks the NFL Network "Tomorrow" commercial has been the best. The other 27.2 grudgingly votes for the Bud Lite Donkey-Who-Just-Wants-to-be-a-Clydesdale ad.
8:14-We just had a debate over the correct usage of the term "Donovan McNadds." The issue was resolved with this example: "When Steve Smith scored that touchdown, the Patriot fans felt like they had been kicked in their Donovan McNadds." Man, this game is boring.
8:24-The Patriots just scored on an Antowain Smith TD to make it 21-10. I can't describe how utterly ho-hum this game is.
8:33-An incredible run by Deshaun Foster brings the Panthers within four, and John Fox elects to go for two. An interesting decision, and one that will undoubtedly be debated tomorrow at water coolers around the country. I would've double-bagged it.
8:40-Things got a little more interesting when Doug woke up from his recuperation nap and we told him that Eddie George announced his retirement at halftime. Doug, who would have Eddie George's babies, left in a huff and started throwing things. Someone should tell him the truth. Or in an evil twist, we could keep him in the dark all summer, and wait for the meltdown when someone selects him in the 8th round of our fantasy draft next year.
8:53-The longest touchdown in the history of the Super Bowl goes to Muhsin Muhammad for an 85-yard scoring strike. The 2-pt conversion attempt is no good, and the Panthers hold onto a one-point lead. All right folks, this game is now Officially Tense.
9:10-2:44 left, Mike Vrabel just caught a TD. I really hate when teams put in defensive players to score touchdowns. It's stupid, risky, and unsportsmanlike. At any rate, what the hell is with this stadium? Why did they choose to play this game at the NFL stadium with the worst turf in the league? It's absolutely ridiculous how many players have slipped today.
9:17-Wow, is Ricky Proehl clutch. This game is amazing.
9:31-Adam Vinatieri boots the game-winner with four seconds remaining, and the Pats celebrate a second world championship in three years. No one on this team deserves the MVP. Tom Brady was average, Vinatieri missed two kicks, and the defense crapped all over themselves in the second half. If anyone deserves it, it is the New England offensive line. They neutralized a much-publicized Carolina front four, gave Tom Brady excellent protection, and opened up big holes for Antowain Smith and Kevin Faulk against a rugged Panthers defense. Unfortunately, these unheralded warriors won't even be considered for the award. And with that, The Tale of Two Halves Super Bowl ended on an exciting note�I guess Janet Jackson's tit fired up the offenses and got them going in the second half.