I was enjoying a nice afternoon of football today, your typical Thanksgiving--the Detroit Lions rumbling with the Packers on TV, with my stomach grumbling in eager anticipation of an all-american Thanksgiving feast. However, I began to feel slightly restless during the commercial, a vague sense of unease. Then it hit me: today was late November, Thanksgiving no less, and seemingly every commercial had a Christmas theme to it. But I hadn't even enjoyed my turkey with stuffing and mashed potatoes yet! The pumpkin pie was still cooling, and no one had dared to sample it! Even so, Thanksgiving was being neglected for the sheer cash-cow commercialism of Christmas. Now, I will not go down the well-trodden path and lament the lost "true meaning of Christmas;" I will save that rant for Linus and his blanket and instead bemoan the complete and utter disrespect that is so rudely dished out to a well-meaning Thanksgiving.
Not two days ago I was discussing with my friend Greg the infinite merits of Thanksgiving--its rich history, football, excellent food. At its core is what every holiday should be out: relaxing, taking a break from the challenges of the every day world, and enjoying a memorable meal with a reliable menu.
However, despite all of these obvious benefits, Thanksgiving has been unfortunately pushed to the side recently in favor of fat cat Christmas. Thus, Thanksgiving, even though it has all the material to be a top-notch holiday, dwells in the looming shadow of the approaching Christmas season. So rather than claiming it's rightful spot as one of the most celebrated holidays, Thanksgiving becomes a regrettably overlooked and vastly underrated holiday. On this note, I present to you a list of the best and worst holidays.
TOP 4 HOLIDAYS
1.) Christmas. Hopefully the above rant was not misconveyed as an anti-Christmas sentiment; I was just hoping to establish that Thanksgiving needs some respect too. Christmas is great, and has it all: presents; long break time; it's own set of songs; religion; indoor shrubbery; yule logs and glad tidings--what more could a holiday want?
2.) Easter. Another top-notch holiday, gets you off of work for a few days as well. Dying eggs is always sweet, rabbits are heavily involved, and the candy is excellent (Cadbury chocolate eggs, 'nuff said).
3.) Thanksgiving. I've covered this one already. Absolutely great holiday, might contend for #1 if presents were exchanged.
4.) Halloween. This is a holiday that is great in a unique way; with most other holidays, you gather with the family and hang out, which, depending on your relatives, can honestly be a real pain. But on Halloween, it's all about the friends: when you are a kid, you dress up, go out with your little buddies and get some candy. When you're a teenager, you go out and pull some major Halloween pranks: there are houses to be TP'ed and cars to be egged. And when you have moved passed those stages, it's a great day to let loose and act like a kid again--dress up, get out, and enjoy a rousing Halloween party. However, when you have kids of your own, this holiday goes downhill: you don't get to dress up anymore, you have to give away the candy, your house is the one that gets TP'ed, and your kids come home having ingested so much candy they vomit an impossible amount of Milk Duds on the carpet, and you have to clean it up. The moral of the story: enjoy Halloween while you can. And avoid the Milk Duds.
WORST 4 HOLIDAYS (Caution: This list was not designed for the Politically Correct)
1.) Ramadan. All the other holidays are great because of the great culinary enjoyments to be had. In Ramadan, you can't eat. For a month. I wouldn't mind Opposite-Ramadan, or Anti-Ramadan, that would be incredible. But do you think Osama Bin Laden got that heroin-chic look like by celebrating Anti-Ramadan? I doubt it.
2.) Boxing Day. This holiday would be great if it were all about the Sweet Science, but unfortunately, it's not. I really don't know what Boxing Day is, I just know that it's not boxing boxing and that Canadians are involved, an unfortunate double-whammy, if you will oblige me the use of an awful pun.
3.) Yom Kippur. I don't like holidays that begin at the sunset one day, and end at sunset the next day. You can't take up two days with this stuff.
4.) Memorial Day. Memorial Day sucks because nothing happens, and if something were to happen, nobody would know. Memorial Day always comes and goes, and then the next Monday someone always says, "So how was your Memorial Day?" Then I think, "Damn, it was Memorial Day? I missed it!...Eh, no biggie." If a holiday can be just forgotten than disregarded, it's not really a holiday--it's just a little marking on your calendar.
The Most Underrated Holiday: New Year's Day. Everyone enjoys the hell out of New Year's Eve, understandably so, but also as good is New Year's Day. You get together, chill, watch the bowl games on TV, eat some dinner, watch some more football, and that's it. It's a great excuse to hang out, eat, and watch football. And I'm not complaining.
The Most Overrated Holiday: Fourth of July. Why must any holiday with necessary outdoor celebrations--stupid parades--be held in the smack-dab middle of the summer? Plus, everyone is running around looking like a tool in Old Navy Flag shirts or stars & stripes hats or whatnot. The fireworks are sweet, though.