Area Man Properly Stacks Toilet Paper, Won’t Stop Talking About It
Christchurch, NZ -- After 3 days on the job, supermarket warehouse picker/packer Stephen Ragg has learned that there is a wrong and a right way to pack many innocuous appearing grocery items.
"The canned goods and cat food are easy, everyone knows that, but what people don't understand is the skill involved in packing other products such as juice, detergent, or 4-leaf folding picnic tables complete with folding chair set," says Ragg.
Girlfriend Christy Kronberg has also noticed a change. "Before his warehouse work, Stephen didn't have much to say at the supermarket, but now I can't get him to shut up about it. 'These cans stack great, these chips are packed in weak cardboard, this flour is packed next to the lye...’ sometimes it is a bit much. I will concede, though, he does have unsurpassed knowledge of New Zealand food products."
As for the future, Stephen remains confident and philosophical.
"I'm good, and I mean really good, but I am not the best. I feed off the products’ energy, but have not yet harnessed that power to my full advantage. I need to see how that juice box packs together with those cookies, without actually seeing them. I must feel it. I must become that juice box."
Farm Vacation Hits New, Unexpected Low
Oamaru, NZ – Just when it appeared travellers Stephen Ragg and Christy Kronberg’s weeklong farm vacation in Oamaru could only improve, things took a dramatic turn for the worse with “Family Song Night.”
The vacation, of which high points included cow milking, pig rustling, and goose chasing, culminated in a final festival of song, following dinner Friday night.
“I kind of thought the week would be enjoyable. I would scythe grass/groom some horses and shovel some shit. Nowhere in the brochure did it say I would be forced to lead the family in a hideous rendition of ‘Banks of the Ohio,’” says Ragg.
Kronberg agreed, describing her lead vocals in “Row Your Boat” as “definitely the low point of an experience that had already included lawn mowing and goat roping, so that’s saying a lot.”
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Area Man Properly Stacks Toilet Paper, Won’t Stop Talking About It
Christchurch, NZ -- After 3 days on the job, supermarket warehouse picker/packer Stephen Ragg has learned that there is a wrong and a right way to pack many innocuous appearing grocery items. "The canned goods and cat food are easy, everyone knows that, but what people don't understand is the skill involved in packing other products such as juice, detergent, or 4-leaf folding picnic tables complete with folding chair set," says Ragg. Girlfriend Christy Kronberg has also noticed a change. "Before his warehouse work, Stephen didn't have much to say at the supermarket, but now I can't get him to shut up about it. 'These cans stack great, these chips are packed in weak cardboard, this flour is packed next to the lye...’ sometimes it is a bit much. I will concede, though, he does have unsurpassed knowledge of New Zealand food products." As for the future, Stephen remains confident and philosophical. "I'm good, and I mean really good, but I am not the best. I feed off the products’ energy, but have not yet harnessed that power to my full advantage. I need to see how that juice box packs together with those cookies, without actually seeing them. I must feel it. I must become that juice box." |
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Farm Vacation Hits New, Unexpected Low
Oamaru, NZ – Just when it appeared travellers Stephen Ragg and Christy Kronberg’s weeklong farm vacation in Oamaru could only improve, things took a dramatic turn for the worse with “Family Song Night.” The vacation, of which high points included cow milking, pig rustling, and goose chasing, culminated in a final festival of song, following dinner Friday night. “I kind of thought the week would be enjoyable. I would scythe grass/groom some horses and shovel some shit. Nowhere in the brochure did it say I would be forced to lead the family in a hideous rendition of ‘Banks of the Ohio,’” says Ragg. Kronberg agreed, describing her lead vocals in “Row Your Boat” as “definitely the low point of an experience that had already included lawn mowing and goat roping, so that’s saying a lot.” |
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