If your raves include line dancing, you might be a red-neck Brujah.
If your favorite hunting dogs include members of your own clan, you might be a red-neck Gangrel.
If you can crush beer cans on your imaginary friend's forehead and it works, you might be a red-neck Malkavian.
If your favorite place for muddin' is your city's sewers, you might be a red-neck Nosferatu.
If you're entranced by the rebel flag, you might be a red-neck Toreador.
If your favorite love ritual involves your sister, you might be a red-neck Tremere.
If dip or tobacco is part of your selective digestion, you might be a red-neck Ventrue.
If your hell hound makes you sit in the back of your truck, you might be a red-neck Caitiff.
If your idea of Conclave includes a tent revival, you might be a red-neck Prince.
If you got your position by coming in second in a cow tipping contest, you might be a red-neck Seneshcal.
If you participate in a quilting circle to keep current on Kindred affairs, you might be a red-neck Harpy.
If your ideal Elysium is Dollywood, you might be a red-neck Keeper.
If you refer to your Deputies as "little buddies", you might be a red-neck Sheriff.
If your cry to freedom is "The south will rise again", you might be a red-neck Anarch.
If you attend Vaulderie wearing a pillow case and sheet, you might be a red-neck Sabbat.
If you monitor Kindred society with binoculars while standing in a deer blind, you might be a red-neck Inconnu.
World of Darkness Bumper Stickers
Ravnos: This car isn't here... Welcome to my reality. Is it real, or is it Ravnos?
Assamite: Don't like someone else's driving, hire me. NO MORE TYREs
Tremere: Don't like my driving, learn movement of the mind. Honk and you're Engulfed. If you can read this, think firestorm.
Anarchs: We don't need no stinking bumper stickers. Express yourself. um... Yeah, I'm a loyal member of the Camarilla, .... sure.
Black furies: I have PMS and a Klaive, any questions?
Silent Strider: Free Egypt. This bumper sticker brought to you by SAND, it's everywhere. Neither Set nor Nexus crawler nor Darkest Malfaes .........
Shadowlords: Power corrupts, absolute power is kinda nifty.
Metis: Honk if your horny..... or scaley, or bald, or ....
Kindred conspiracy - Who did it bumper stickers
Brujah
The Ventrue did it.
Gangrel
Looked like the Ravnos did it.
Malkavian
We did it, heh heh heh.
Nosferatu
We KNOW who did it.
Toreador
I have composed an epic revealing the ones who hath done it.
Tremere
We didn't do it. Honest!
Ventrue
Wasn't me, I would have ordered someone else to do it.
Assamite
Pay me - I'll do it.
Giovanni
The Capadocians won't do it again.
Ravnos
Are you sure it was REALLY done.
Salubri
Look into your own humanity and you will know the truth.
Samedi
I'd give my left arm to do it.
Setite
I got every one elssse to do it.
Daughters of Cacaphony
Do it in Harmonics.
Garou
It doesn't matter who did it, its a KINDRED matter.
�
Every Thing I needed to know I learnerd from the World Of Darkness
It has always been my notion that any system of beliefs should be simple, yet global in its application, if only because under such a system one can justify almost anything. I started with the classics--"Do unto Others," and "The Greatest Good for the Greatest Number," knowing full well that I'd really like to be abused behind my back and that, if they would think about it, the rest of the world would realize that it is certainly in their best interest to be manipulated. Yet I was continually searching for a new credo, one that could justify petty theft. After much searching I found the solution: Wisdom was not to be found in musty philosophies, but in a line of reasonably-priced game books. Everything I needed to know I learned from the World of Darkness. Advice on daily living, basic survival, enlightened self-interest. All could be found in White Wolf's books -- ambiguously presented for maximum personal interpretation.
Respect your elders, for they can grind you to dust.
Don't play with fire, it does aggravated damage.
Say "Thank You" when you kill something, because even if nobody else is around, the spirits are watching.
Any hierarchy, no matter how benevolent, will eventually become corrupt and take over the known world.
Birth defects, homelessness, rampant consumerism, the hole in the ozone layer, hate, malice, greed, alcoholism, the destruction of the Native Americans, bad television programming, violence in the media and strange chemicals in fast food can all be safely blamed on a supernaturalentity.
Almost anything, including artistic disembowelments, can be justified 1) in the name of Gaia, 2) if you're 300+ years old, or 3) if you've been doing it long enough.
Everything dies -- Garou, mages, changelings -- but they can come back in Wraith, and major villains can return in the next book.
Murder is okay if it's done with style (or, as above, for Gaia).
Stygian Iron is forever.
Tormenting librarians and accountants is a perfectly acceptable method of artistic _expression. So is live rune-carving.
The laws of reality are immutable, unless you buy the supplementary rules.
It's always darkest before the Apocalypse.
Not only are the Garou sexy, they have RULES for being sexy--page 218.
Reality is a user-defined parameter.
Every alley in the city is the site of some sort of illegal sex trade.
When in doubt, blame it on the Nosferatu, or possibly on the Celestial Chorus.
The only right (Tradition, tribe, clan, kith, guild) is your (Tradition, tribe, clan, kith, guild) and all other should be (outmoded, eviscerated, diablerized, ignored, Oblivated).
Reality is like a parent: It has strict rules which cannot be broken, and it is all set to break them in order to PUNISH you.
If you can't justify violent crime in the name of Gaia or by dint of obvious natural superiority, change legacies and go Unseelie.
Evil ALWAYS gets its own sourcebook.
The government isn't a puppet of Big Business, it is a pawn of the Wyrm.
Just think. Wouldn't the world be a better place if everybody simply dressed in black and used Mind ** to get what they want? Wouldn't everything be nicer if all the world's countries would just put up their weapons and conjure a big nasty spirit of destruction to fight their battles for them? No? Well, I think so.
Copyright: Jacob Williamson
MINAS TIRITH (Gondor News Network) - Thousands of
peace activists took to the streets of Minas Tirith
and other cities of Middle Earth today to protest what
they termed a rush to war with Mordor.
"We need more time for diplomacy," said a key member
of the Middle-Earth Security Council, Saruman the
White. "I am not convinced by the evidence presented
by my esteemed colleague, Gandalf the Grey, or that
the Dark Lord Sauron presents an imminent danger to
the peoples of the West."
Many of the people protesting war in Mordor agreed
with Saruman's remarks. "Sauron says he's destroyed
his Rings of Mass Destruction (RMD) and that's good
enough for me," said one fellow carrying a sign that
said "Elrond is a Balrog." Another demonstrator
urged,"Give the RMD inspectors more time.
There's no reason to rush to any judgment just because
Mount Doom is belching lava, the Dark Tower is
rebuilt, and Osgiliath has been decimated."
A third protester piped up, "I haven't heard a single
bit of convincing evidence connecting the Nazgul with
Sauron. I think they destroyed Osgiliath on their own
initiative without any support from Sauron. Besides,
it's understandable they're angry with Gondor. We
haven't done nearly as much for the Orcs and Goblins
and Easterlings as the Nazgul and Sauron have. It's
understandable they throw their support to them.? It's
our own fault really."
As the protesters continued their march through the
city, they chanted, "No blood for Mount Doom," voicing
a common sentiment that the leaders of the Western
peoples are really seeking to get their hands on the
powerful Mount Doom, where the One Ring of Power was
allegedly forged.
Gandalf the Grey was unavailable for comment. A
spokesman said he was in an undisclosed underground
location, which sources have revealed is codenamed:
Moria.
