Monica: Why? Why? Why would anyone do something like that?
Ross: I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than, "to get you into bed."
Chandler: What? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you
for another woman that likes women?
Ross: A little louder, okay? I think there's a man on the twelfth floor--in a COMA--who didn't
hear you.
Chandler: Where's Joey? His mom's on the phone.
Monica: He's in the bathroom... I don't think you wanna go in there!
Chandler: C'mon, we're roommates.... Aaaaaaaagh! My eyes! My eyes!
Chandler: And this from the cry-for-help department: Are you wearing makeup?
Joey: Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model.
Chandler: That's funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash
woman.
Joey: Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?
Ross: Yeah, sure.
Joey: By someone besides Monica?
Rachel: Thank you for my beautiful earrings, they're perfect. I love you.
Ross: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, okay?
Rachel:: Now I love you even more.
Ross: What are you doing?
Chandler: Making chocolate milk. You want some?
Ross: No thanks, I'm 29.
Joanna: What are you doing?
Chandler: I'm getting dressed.
Joanna: Why?
Chandler: When I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me
Ross: So why don't you quit?
Chandler: You don't think I've tried? You think I like have 50 dollars taken out of my bank account every month? No, they make you go all the way down there! Then they use all these phrases and peppiness to try to confuse you. And then they bring out Maria.
Ross: Who is Maria?
Chandler: Ah, Maria. You can't say no to her. She's like this lycra/spandex covered gym... treat.
Monica: [Sneeze] Oh, gosh, Phoebe, I think I caught your cold!
Phoebe: You mean you stole it!
Monica: [Sneeze]
Phoebe: Don't cover your mouth when you do that!
Ross: So, uh, how long are you going to punish him?
Joey: Five years.
Ross: You've sentenced him?
Joey: Hey, don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
Phoebe: Aw, Phebes...
Rachel: Honey, that's your name.
Phoebe: That's short for Phoebe? I thought that's just what we called each other.
Joey: It's all London, baby! Here we go.
Chandler: You got your passport?
Joey: Yeah, in my third drawer in my dresser. You don't want to lose tha
Phoebe: I'm in Vice. Yeah, in fact, I'm undercover right now. I'm a whore.
Cop: Who... who else is in vice up there?
Phoebe: Um, do you know, um Sipowicz?
Cop: Sipowicz? No, I don't think so.
Phoebe: Yeah, Sipowicz. Yeah, um, big guy, kind of bald.
Cop: No, I don't know him.
Phoebe: Don't try to call him or anything, 'cause he's not there. He's out. His, um... his partner just died.
Cop: Wow. Well, tell Sipowicz I'm real sorry for his loss.
Phoebe: I sure will. Take care.
Cop: Hey! By the way, I'm sure Sipowicz is gonna be all right. I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good.
Chandler What are we gonna do? What are we gonna DO!?
Joey Uh, uh, we'll flip for it, ducks or clowns.
Candler Oh, we're gonna flip for the baby?
Joey You got a better idea?
Chandler All right, call it in the air.
Joey Heads.
Chandler Heads it is.
Joey Yess! Whoo!
Chandler We have to assign heads to something!
Joey Right, okay, okay, uhhh, ducks is heads, because ducks...have heads.
Chandler What kinda' scary-ass clowns came to your birthday!?
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