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Tough Decisions
Part 1
Chakotay was on the bridge, but his mind wasn’t on Voyager. It was on Kathryn, unconscious in the mess hall. It had been two days since the fire, and she hadn’t regained consciousness.
She was badly burned, with third and fourth degree burns over half her body. Her right hand was in such bad shape that she might not have any use of it again. Oddly, her face had escaped serious burns, though she did have a few blisters on her neck. The doctor said she was lucky her hair didn’t catch fire.
The doctor had asked Chakotay to speak to her when she woke up. He didn’t have any experience in telling someone that a loved one had died. Chakotay had done it before, but it was never pleasant, and it was especially difficult when he was close to both people involved.
Chakotay couldn’t think of anyone he had ever been closer to than Kathryn and Elizabeth. He had had hopes that someday the three of them could be a family, but he had never dared to mention those hopes to Kathryn. Now it was too late. Elizabeth had brought them together, and he had a feeling that their slowly developing relationship would die without her.
He had to see her just once more before she knew. Right now, injured as she was, she was still the Kathryn he knew and loved. If the shock of finding out about Elizabeth’s death didn’t kill her, she would be forever changed. He stood. "Mr. Paris, you have the bridge," he said, and left.
Part 2
Seven of Nine’s hands manipulated the instruments almost automatically. She’d repaired so many EPS conduits in the last month that she didn’t have to think about it. What she was thinking about was Elizabeth Janeway.
The death of an individual had never bothered her before. A single person was inconsequential in the Borg collective, and Elizabeth had been too young to do anything for the ship or crew. She’d barely even known the child. But for some reason, Seven kept thinking about the circumstances surrounding her death. It seemed like there was something she was missing, but she wasn’t sure what it was. That was a completely new experience for her. She was used to making connections instantaneously. But she was having trouble this time.
She kept seeing the same sequence of events: the vase in Kes’ quarters breaking, the Krenim ship exploding, and Harry Kim saying, "There’s a fire…" Then an image flashed into her head of a humanoid silhouette, seemingly lit up from behind. She normally could remember things perfectly, but she couldn’t place this image. She had the feeling that all these images fit together somehow, but she couldn’t figure out how. She knew it had something to do with Elizabeth, though, and since Elizabeth was dead, it probably didn’t matter much.
Suddenly Seven jumped at a sound from behind her. It sounded like a brief cough, but she didn’t think anyone was around. "Hello?" There was no response. She picked up her tricorder and checked for life signs.
There weren’t any life signs, but there was an odd energy signature very close. It had a slight temporal variance, but she’d have to get closer to figure out what it was. She moved toward it.
Part 3
Chakotay walked into the mess hall. The doctor came over, seeming surprised to see him. "Commander, I told you I’d call you when the captain woke up."
"I know," Chakotay answered. "I want to see her now."
"Very well. As long as you’re here, I’ll go see how a few people are doing. Just call me when you’re done." He left.
Chakotay looked around. Aside from Kathryn’s form near the wall, the room was empty. No wonder the doctor had seemed so eager to leave. The captain couldn’t be left alone, but there wasn’t anything for him to do.
Chakotay walked across the room and knelt down by Kathryn’s side. She was on her left side on a low cot with a blanket pulled up to her chin. Chakotay knew that she didn’t sleep on her side, and he guessed that must be the least seriously burned side.
Chakotay put a hand on her shoulder and almost jumped out of his skin when she opened her eyes. He was still recovering when she said, "Chakotay…Elizabeth…?" She left the question unfinished.
Chakotay shook his head. "She’s gone, Kathryn." She closed her eyes, and a pained look came to her face. Then she opened them.
"I suppose I knew, but I had to be sure."
"How did you know?" he asked, wondering how long she’d been awake and how much she’d heard.
"For the first time in a long time, I can’t feel her," Kathryn said, tears coming to her eyes. "Even when she was asleep, I could feel her presence. Now there’s nothing. It’s like a hole inside me that nothing can fill." She was shaking now, and tears were rolling down her face. Wanting to hug her, but afraid of hurting her burned skin, he put a hand on the back of her head and moved as close as he could. He was surprised to find that he was crying, too.
Part 4
The hatch in the Jeffries tube opened to reveal a large, orange, glowing object sticking out from the bulkhead. A glance at her tricorder only confirmed Seven’s suspicions: this was an armed, but unexploded, Krenim torpedo. "Seven to Tuvok," she said into her communicator. "There’s something here you should see."
Then Seven noticed something else: a very small pair of hands under the torpedo. The tricorder had registered no life signs, but they were definitely humanoid hands. But no one on the ship had hands that small. No one except…
"Elizabeth?" Seven said out loud. A moment later, a small head poked out from behind the torpedo. It was Elizabeth. Seven rushed forward and picked up the little girl. "Elizabeth, how did you get out?" she said almost unconsciously.
She then had an odd feeling, like someone was tickling the inside of her skull, but she shrugged it off. As she carried Elizabeth to the door, she noticed something very odd. Elizabeth was glowing.
Seven set her down and looked at her very carefully. Yes, the light was definitely coming from the child. Suddenly, the images she’d been seeing all came together. She remembered the context in which she’d seen the lighted silhouette: a contact with species one-seven-two, a species the Borg had never been able to assimilate. They were apparently bioluminescent, and they also possessed remarkable psychic abilities. The three times the Borg had attempted a direct attack, one of two things had happened to the Borg cubes: they exploded, or they were thrown light-years from their original position. That was accomplished by large groups of their people working together, but even single members of the species were formidable. Apparently, Elizabeth’s father was a member of Species 172.
The hatch opened to admit Tuvok. "Seven," he said after assessing the situation, "if you had told me that there was an unexploded torpedo, I would have proceeded here with more haste. What have you done to secure this area?"
"Nothing. I found…"
"Computer, activate forcefields around this area. Double strength," Tuvok interrupted. "We need to leave this area. We can discuss your failure to take proper precautions later."
"But…"
"We must leave now!" Tuvok said, taking Seven by the arm.
Seven looked down at Elizabeth, who seemed completely bewildered. Suddenly she had an idea. "Elizabeth, can you make that light go out? Be very careful; you don’t want it to blow up." Elizabeth looked at the glowing torpedo, and a look of concentration came over her face. A moment later, the torpedo’s glow faded, and its constant hum became silent.
Part 5
Kathryn had finally stopped crying after half an hour and slipped into a light sleep. Chakotay knew he needed to get back to the bridge, but the doctor wasn’t back yet, and he wasn’t about to leave Kathryn alone. She hadn’t shown any signs of wanting to harm herself, and he doubted she could get very far if she did, but he wasn’t taking any chances. She hadn’t said so, but he knew she would blame herself. She’d always tended to take full responsibility for everything, even if there was nothing she could have done, and this wasn’t an exception.
The doors to the mess hall opened and Chakotay looked up, expecting to see the doctor. Instead, it was Kes who entered.
"Where’s the doctor?" she asked rather breathlessly.
"I don’t know; he left as soon as I came in. Is it something I can help you with?"
"I don’t think so. I’m in labor."
"Oh. Well, here, sit down," he said, pulling a chair from a nearby table. He seemed suddenly very nervous. "I’ll call the doctor. Chakotay to doctor."
"What is it, Commander?" The doctor sounded very irate. "I’m very busy right now."
"Kes is in labor."
"Oh, good. How long does she have?"
"Uh…" Chakotay looked at Kes.
"About twenty minutes," Kes said loudly.
"I’ll be right there. Doctor out."
"Kes, do you need me to do anything?"
Kes laughed. "No, Chakotay, I’ll be fine. Why don’t you get the captain a glass of water?"
Chakotay did, and Kathryn brought her left arm out from under the blanket to take it. "I don’t see what you’re so nervous about," she said. "You have done this before."
"I was nervous then, too."
Just then, to Chakotay’s relief, the doctor arrived. He went straight to Kes and scanned her with a tricorder. "It won’t be long. Why don’t we go in here where you’ll have some privacy?" he said, gesturing toward the far corner of the room. He had curtained it off shortly after sickbay had been destroyed for just such an occasion. The two of them disappeared.
"Well, I guess I’ll be…" he trailed off as he caught sight of her face. She was staring at the ceiling with a blissful smile on her face, which seemed rather odd under the circumstances. "Kathryn, are you all right?"
"I’m fine," she answered. "Everything’s fine now." She’d dreamed of Elizabeth, a happy dream of playing peek-a-boo with her before this whole thing with the Krenim had started; and when she woke up, she could feel the light touch of Elizabeth’s mind. Kathryn concentrated harder, suddenly worried. Elizabeth’s mind had a certain feel when she was sleeping, but this wasn’t it. She reached out to touch her mind, but her gentle brush was turned away. Elizabeth had never been shielded against her before, and she hadn’t even realized that the infant had telepathic shields. She pushed as hard as she could, wanting desperately to wrap her mind around her daughter’s and feel that she was safe, but Elizabeth’s shields were much stronger than her feeble telepathic ability. She couldn’t even tell how far away she was, or whether she was above or below her. She had to find her.
Suddenly she had an idea. She opened her eyes and saw Chakotay looking at her worriedly. She moved her left hand out from under the blankets and held it out to him. Then she did something she’d never done before: she reached out to a non-telepath. She’d only been in contact with four other people: Tuvok, Kes, Jolan, and Elizabeth. The only one she’d ever initiated contact with was Elizabeth.
Amazingly enough, it worked. She was able to establish a tenuous link between her mind and Chakotay’s, just enough for her to let him feel Elizabeth’s presence. In an instant, she was able to show him what she couldn’t put into words. Then the link collapsed. "Find her," she whispered, and then fell back onto the cot, exhausted.
Even as he struggled with the shock of the knowledge that Elizabeth had somehow survived, Chakotay didn’t need to be told twice. The fact that Elizabeth wasn’t responding to her mother gave him an even more urgent need to find her. He tried to feel her without Kathryn’s help, but he wasn’t sure how. He gave up on that quickly and then asked the computer to locate any life signs without communicators. The computer located two, one in crew quarters on deck 8 and the other in a Jeffries tube on deck 4. The one in the crew quarters would be Naomi Wildman, so he knew Elizabeth must be in the Jeffries tube. He headed for the turbolift and ordered it to deck 4. He then ran to the Jeffries tube opening nearest the life sign. As he approached, he heard two voices. In his nervous state he was able to identify them as Seven and Tuvok. Could one of them have forgotten their communicator?
The last door opened, and Seven and Tuvok twisted around. "Commander?"
He barely heard them. His attention immediately focused on the bit of curly red hair he could see beside Seven. He moved forward, and as Seven moved out of his way he could see her, looking frightened out of her wits. He scooped her up and held her tightly to him, so tightly that she whimpered. Joy welled up in him, so sharp that it hurt. He turned to take her to her mother.
Part 6
"Oh, Elizabeth, Elizabeth," Kathryn said, her left arm wrapped around the little girl. "What happened? Why wouldn’t you answer me?"
Elizabeth hadn’t looked at her mother yet, keeping her head down, but she looked up now. She looked terribly upset and very guilty. *I’m sorry, Mommy. I didn’t mean it,* she said. *I just wanted us to not be attacked anymore. I didn’t mean to make it so hot.*
*You mean you made that ship explode?* Kathryn asked.
Elizabeth wasn’t sure what "explode" meant, but she lifted the meaning from her mother’s mind. She nodded. *But it got so hot then, and I didn’t know how to stop it. I didn’t want you to get hurt.*
*I know you didn’t. It wasn’t your fault, sweetie. It was just an accident.* Kathryn stroked Elizabeth’s red curls. *How did you get out?*
*I don’t know. Something was pulling at me. I tried to get you to the door, but I couldn’t make it.*
*How did you move me toward the door?* asked Kathryn, confused.
*I made you float, like I do my toys.*
Kathryn had known that Elizabeth had unusual abilities, but she had never realized how strong they were. Elizabeth had managed to blow up the Krenim ship, start a huge fire with the leftover energy, lift someone who weighed ten times as much as she did halfway across the room, and transport herself somewhere else, all in a few minutes. Obviously she would have to be trained to use her abilities, and refrain from using them, or she might inadvertently cause an even worse accident. She wondered if there were any way she could get in touch with Jolan’s people. But Voyager had to be far beyond Kyrae space by now.
Suddenly she heard a baby crying, interrupting her thoughts. She looked around to find that Chakotay and Elizabeth were both looking at her. "You were a few light-years away there for a minute," Chakotay said.
"Just thinking," she murmured in reply.
A moment later, the curtain opened and Kes came out, holding a small figure wrapped in a blanket. The doctor followed. He cleared his throat self-importantly. "I am proud to announce the birth of Voyager’s third child, yet another girl, weight 3.1 kg."
Kes added, "Her name’s Lilia, Lily for short."
"Can I see her?" Kathryn asked. As she admired the baby, she couldn’t help but wonder: would there be more babies, or would the Krenim’s relentless pounding defeat them?
Part 7
It had been a month since the fire. The Krenim had continued to pound Voyager, and there wasn’t much left. They were running out of food and supplies, and they didn’t have the resources to even begin to fix the damage.
Captain Janeway sat alone in the conference lounge, thinking. She’d been doing her business in here since her ready room had been destroyed. Elizabeth was with Seven of Nine, who for some reason seemed to like caring for her. Kathryn had been hesitant at first about leaving her daughter in the former Borg’s care, but she hadn’t known what else to do with the baby. Seven seemed to do quite well with her, even – very rarely – smiling and talking baby talk to her. Not in front of anyone, of course. The only reason Kathryn knew about it was that she occasionally checked with Elizabeth telepathically.
Tom and B’Elanna entered the room for the staff meeting. Kathryn let out a small sigh. Telling everyone of her decision wasn’t going to be easy.
Commander Chakotay entered next, followed by the doctor, and then Seven with Elizabeth in tow. Kes was with her, with Lilia; the captain had asked her to come to this meeting even though she was still on maternity leave. Seven handed the baby to the captain. "How was she?" Kathryn asked, as usual.
"There was nothing out of the ordinary," Seven answered, as usual.
Finally Tuvok, Neelix, and Ensign Kim arrived and took their seats. Everyone looked at her, waiting to start.
"After a lot of thought, I’ve made a very difficult decision. Voyager is falling apart, and we’re running out of supplies with no way to get more. We don’t have enough food left to get us out of Krenim space, even on starvation rations. I’m going to send the crew on alone."
There was a moment of silence as her words sunk in. Then Lieutenant Paris said, "We can’t just abandon Voyager."
"I’ll be staying here, and any senior officer who wishes to do so may stay with me, with the exception of Kes. I’ll give you a day to decide, and then I’ll have a general meeting to inform everyone. Come to me privately in the next day to let me know. Dismissed."
Slowly, everyone began to get up and leave. After a moment’s pause, the captain said, "Kes, I’d like to speak to you privately." She waited until the others had left and continued. "I’m pretty sure they’ll all decide to stay. As long as they do, I’m putting you in command of the crew. You’ll be going in shuttles and escape pods. Try to get out of Krenim space and keep going towards home."
Kes looked confused. "Why me? Why not Tuvok, or any one of the others?"
"Two reasons. We’ll need someone with medical experience out there, and I want your daughter to be safe."
"What about your daughter?"
Kathryn sighed. Making this decision had been a million times harder than deciding to send the crew away. "I want you to take care of her. I can’t keep her here; it’s just too dangerous. And I can’t leave. The captain goes down with the ship."
"Even if the captain is a mother?"
Kathryn nodded. "Even then."