(sequel to Mistletoe Tag)

Note: If you haven’t read Mistletoe Tag, you might want to; you can find it here.

Disclaimer: Paramount = Owner of all things Trek; I = Annoying gnat that just won’t go away

"You have to admit it was a pretty good idea," Harry told Tom as they walked through the dense foliage on an uninhabited planet.

"I suppose," Tom answered.

"You’re just mad because Chakotay thought it up and not you."

"Well, maybe a little. Actually, though, B’Elanna really liked it. She says we should play it again sometime."

"Yeah, by yourselves," Harry snickered.

"Maybe I’ll set up a game between you, Seven of Nine, and the Delaney sisters."

"Ha, ha, ha, very funny, Tom."

"Well, speak of the devil," Tom said. Harry looked up and groaned to see Seven approaching with Commander Chakotay.

"Ensign Kim, Ensign Paris," Seven said. "The doctor is currently helping me to study humor; may I tell you a ‘joke’?" She pronounced "joke" as if it were a bad word.

"Uh..." Tom looked at Chakotay.

Voyager’s first officer shrugged his shoulders. "I haven’t heard it."

"Well, sure, Seven...I guess."

Without preamble, Seven launched into her joke. "A cabbage and a tomato were involved in a race. At the end of the race, the cabbage was ahead, while the tomato needed to catch up."

The three men stared at her blankly.

"I don’t get it," Harry said.

"Captain Janeway attempted to explain it to me, but I do not ‘get it’ either. The doctor assured me that it was humorous, however."

"Are you sure you’re telling the whole joke, Seven?" Tom asked.

"I eliminated some irrelevant information, but I did retain what are referred to as the ‘setup’ and the ‘punchline,’" Seven replied.

"Oh, I get it," Chakotay said. "It’s not funny, but I get it. See, the cabbage is ‘a head.’ A head of cabbage. And the tomato has to ‘catch up,’ as in the condiment ketchup, which is made from tomatoes."

"Ohhh," Tom and Harry said together.

"Seven, next time, you might want to try getting your jokes from someone other than the doctor," Harry said.

The four members had continued walking throughout their exchange, and Seven spotted something through the bushes. She pointed at it and said to the others, "The captain has indicated that I should learn to swim. Perhaps you could teach me."

The three of them looked where she was pointing and saw a pool of water. "Why not," Tom said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Well, we don’t have any swimwear, for one thing."

"Afraid to swim in your boxers, Chakotay?" Paris asked, needling him.

"Not at all, Paris," Chakotay responded. "However, Seven may have a little trouble swimming in what she’s got on."

"That will not be a problem, Commander," Seven said, abruptly stepping out of her catsuit to reveal a simple blue one-piece bathing suit. "I am prepared for any eventuality."

"Well, then, shall we?" Tom said, starting to pull off his clothes.

Chakotay removed his outer clothing as well. "Harry?"

"I think I’ll just watch, Commander," Harry answered. Leaning in closer, he whispered, "I’m wearing briefs."

Chakotay nodded. "I see," he said. "Well, come on, Seven, time for a swimming lesson." He threw his clothes over a nearby bush and led Seven into the water; Tom laid his clothes next to Chakotay’s and followed him in."

Fifteen minutes later, just as Seven was mastering floating, Harry stood up and announced that he was going back to the ship. Tom and Chakotay said goodbye and returned to their task. Neither of them noticed the sparkle of a Federation transporter on the bushes where they had laid their clothes. Seven did, however. It was the signal she had been waiting for.

"I believe that is enough for today," she announced. She swam confidently to the shore and got out. Chakotay and Paris looked at each other in confusion. She disappeared into the bushes and a moment later stepped out, arrayed once again in her catsuit and heels with every hair in place...and dry. She tapped her commbadge and disappeared a moment later in a shimmer of light.

"Well, I suppose I ought to be getting back to the ship myself, Commander; I promised B’Elanna dinner tonight," Tom said, stepping out of the water. Chakotay followed him around the bushes to get their clothes.

The clothes were gone. Two commbadges lay on two leaves of the bush in the exact position they had left them, but the clothes the badges had been attached to were gone. The two men looked at each other in shock.

"Now what do we do? We’re standing here in nothing but soaking wet boxer shorts," Chakotay said.

"And they’re adhering to our skin," Tom added. "Well, I suppose we could always call Harry and get him to bring us down some clothes..."

Just then the commbadges came to life. "Commander Chakotay and Ensign Paris, return to Voyager and report to the bridge at once," Janeway’s voice said.

Chakotay picked up one of the commbadges, noting that Tom had picked up the other out of habit. "Um, Captain, we have a little problem down here..."

He could hear Janeway’s annoyed sigh through the communicator. "Mr. Tuvok, transport Mr. Paris and Mr. Chakotay directly to the bridge."

Tuvok’s voice in the background said, "Captain, are you sure..."

Janeway interrupted him with "Do it."

Almost immediately Chakotay and Paris felt the transporter beam take hold of them. The first thing they heard when the effect faded was the guffaws of laughter from nearly everyone on the bridge, including Harry Kim and B’Elanna Torres. Tuvok’s eyebrows went up higher than Chakotay had ever seen them go before, and even Seven’s mouth twitched. The only one on the bridge who seemed unaffected was Janeway.

"Gentlemen," she said calmly, "did you have a nice time on the planet?" Chakotay could see a hint of mirth in her eyes, but she kept her face perfectly straight.

"Wonderful, Captain," Tom said, trying to ignore the laughter around him and growing redder by the second.

"Good. I found some items that I believe belong to you." She picked up a pile from Chakotay’s chair; the two men immediately recognized them as their discarded clothes. "You both ought to know by now that Starfleet officers do not leave their clothes lying around for anyone to pick up." She handed the bundle to Chakotay. "Dismissed."

Chakotay hesitated a moment; he wanted to say something to her about carrying revenge a bit too far. He quickly decided, though, that standing in the middle of the bridge in wet boxer shorts didn’t give him much credibility. He meekly followed Paris off the bridge. As he left, though, he heard Janeway say, "Maybe I should make wet boxer shorts standard attire for all males. What do you think, Seven?"

"I think it’s a great idea," B’Elanna piped in as the turbolift doors closed.