Disclaimer: Paramount owns them, I'm just playing with them.

"I think I'm in love with you."

He doesn't respond for a moment. He continues to stare out the window as if I haven't said anything. It reminds me of that time a year ago, when we were in the void, except that he is now the one silent and brooding.

Finally he turns, and I search his face. There is no love there. Sorrow and pity, but no love. I feel my heart tear down the middle.

"I don't love you, Kathryn. Not anymore."

I look at him for a moment, then look down at the floor. I don't know what to do, what to say, what to think.

He goes on. "I used to, but there's nothing left to love anymore. There hasn't been for a while."

I know. I understand. I have been dead inside for so long. I can't say it, though. I can't speak, I can't cry, I can't even turn and leave his quarters. Maybe that's proof that I'm still dead inside.

"I..." I can't go on. I'm not even sure what it is I want to say. I feel a single tear find its way down my cheek. I turn, silently, and return to my quarters. There I sit on the couch with my legs pulled to my chest as the tears stream down my face and plummet in big splattery drops onto my knees. There's no shaking or hard breathing, just the tears plopping from my chin.

I think back to my childhood, when I would sob in my room and my dog Bramble would lick away my tears. But Bramble died years ago, and now I am alone. And I will remain alone.

I feel it--I feel it--I feel the woman in me, the woman called Kathryn, finally giving up and dying. All that's left now is Captain Janeway, someone without hope, without love, someone with only a burning obsession to get home. But why? I don't even have a home there anymore.

But Captain Janeway doesn't think about things like that. It's very clear and simple now: I must get this ship home. And if I kill myself in the process...But that won't happen. I'm too strong for that...aren't I?