Part 1

"There she goes again," B’Elanna Torres remarked to Tom Paris and Harry Kim. They watched Voyager’s captain leave the mess hall at light speed, dropping her tray on the rack as she passed.

"She’s pregnant," Tom said matter-of-factly.

"Tom!" Harry and B’Elanna said in unison.

"You have to admit, she’s certainly acting like it. This is the fourth morning she’s run out of here like her life depended on it, and she didn’t show up at all yesterday. And have you noticed how she’s always in her ready room after lunch lately? Not to mention how irritable she’s been."

"Tom, she’s not pregnant. She and Chakotay don’t have that kind of relationship, and there’s no one else that it could be," B’Elanna retorted.

"How do you know they don’t have that kind of relationship?"

"You’ll just have to trust me there."

"Is it really necessary to fight over it?" Harry interjected. "If she is pregnant, it’ll be obvious in a couple of months. If she isn’t, that’ll be obvious too."

"I have a better idea," Tom said. "Let’s make a little wager on it."

"Tom Paris, you have no sense of self-preservation, do you?" B’Elanna said.

"I don’t even want to think what the captain would do if she found out about something like that," Harry joined in.

"You two are just afraid of losing your rations because you know I’m right."

"Lieutenant, you wouldn’t be planning another of those betting pools of yours, would you?" Paris jumped as Voyager’s first officer spoke directly behind him. "Or maybe I should just start calling you Ensign now."

"Sorry, sir," Paris said. Now if he would just leave…

No such luck. Chakotay sat down. "Now, would you mind telling me just what this wager was about?"

"There was no wager, sir. We were just kidding." Paris was getting very nervous. If Chakotay found out what they’d been talking about, he’d tell the captain, and if that happened, Tom fully expected to be blown out an airlock.

"I certainly hope not, Lieutenant." Tom had been waiting for something that sounded final enough for him to leave, and he jumped up.

"Sorry to run out, Commander, but I’ve got to go." Harry followed him. B’Elanna started to, but Chakotay put a hand on her arm and she sat back down. Tom and Harry left them in earnest conversation.

Part 2

Kathryn Janeway stepped into the turbolift and ordered it to the bridge. She’d lost her breakfast yet again. She had really hoped she’d be able to keep it down today. She’d tried simply not eating yesterday, but she’d gotten sick anyway. She’d decided very quickly that if her stomach were going to insist upon sending its contents the wrong way, it would be best if her stomach contained something besides stomach acids. She’d also decided, as of today, that she was going to have to have her breakfast somewhere other than the mess hall. People were starting to notice.

She’d thought about going to the doctor to see if he could give her anything, but she’d given up on that quickly. He’d want to know why she was sick, and if the ‘why’ was what she was pretty sure it was, she wanted to keep it unknown as long as she could.

She thought back to those days in the cave, as she had many times over the past few days. She kept asking herself the same question: How could she lose control of herself like that? Sure, there was something seductive about his voice, but she should have been able to resist. But she’d gone against her better judgement and had the fabled "one-night stand." She had regretted it afterwards, but she’d resolved to forget it and move on with her life.

And now she was pregnant. There it was, the knowledge that she’d been repressing with all of her might. She was pregnant with a child fathered by a man whose face she had never even seen. She couldn’t say ‘might’ or ‘maybe’ anymore; she had to acknowledge the truth. She’d made a mistake, and there were consequences. Suddenly she realized that her life was utterly, completely changed.

At the worst possible moment, the turbolift doors opened on deck 2 to reveal her first officer. She quickly tried to hide her feelings under her captain’s mask, but he’d seen the pain and terror in her face. He entered and turned to face away from her. When the lift reached the bridge, she went immediately to her ready room, knowing that he would follow, grateful for his discretion in not pursuing the matter on the turbolift.

Part 3

Kathryn entered her ready room and stood facing the window. The door chimed. "Come in, Commander."

She heard the doors swish open, and moments later she felt two hands on her shoulders. "Want to talk about it?" his voice said into her ear.

Her shoulders began to shake as the tears she’d been trying to hold back spilled out of her. He turned her around to face him and she leaned her head against his chest, crying like she hadn’t cried in years. They stood like that for a long time, until her tears ran out. When she had proceeded to the sniffling stage, she looked up at him. "Kathryn…" he said, trailing off.

"I’m sorry," she said once she got herself under control. "I don’t know what came over me."

"There’s obviously something wrong," he said gently.

"I…I can’t talk about it. Not yet."

"Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here." He stood and looked at her for a long moment, then turned and left her ready room.

Part 4

Captain Janeway sat on the bridge of Voyager trying to figure out exactly when she had last slept. She’d had trouble sleeping since her return from the planet as her restless mind analyzed her time with Jolan again and again. She was always tired, exhausted even, when she went to bed, but it took her hours to fall asleep. It seemed to be taking longer each night. Last night she’d still been wide awake at 0600 when the computer announced that it was time to get up. Now, after crying out all the worries of the last six weeks, she was so tired she didn’t know how she’d manage to stay awake for the rest of her shift. She felt her eyes drifting shut and forced them open. She decided to head to her ready room. That way, if she dozed off, at least she wouldn’t have to worry if anyone saw her.

Commander Chakotay sat next to his commanding officer. He was worried about her. He’d talked to B’Elanna that morning to ask if the crew was noticing her behavior. Of course they were; he didn’t know now why he’d even asked. She’d been acting strangely for the last six weeks, ever since she’d come back from spending those days in the cave with that strange man. She’d been especially distant from him. Neelix had approached him as he left and asked if he should contact the doctor. It seemed the captain had barely eaten anything in the past five days. And then there had been the look on her face in the turbolift and the episode in her ready room. After that, he’d gone to his office and checked the replicator logs; they showed that all the captain had replicated in the past five days was herbal tea, three cups to be exact. So she hadn’t been eating. And by the bags under her eyes she hadn’t been sleeping either. He thought about contacting the doctor, but decided that would just turn her away from him further. Maybe he should have Kes talk to her.

He was interrupted from his reverie by a hand on his shoulder. "Commander," she said, and from the tone of her voice he knew she was repeating it.

"Sorry," he said.

She stood up, saying, "I’ll be in…" She stopped as her face turned alabaster white. She gripped the armrests of her chair, trying to steady herself. Suddenly she lost consciousness and slumped towards the floor.

Part 5

Chakotay caught her as she fell and slowly lowered her to the floor. He confirmed that she was breathing and had a pulse, then tried to wake her up. "Captain," he said, gently shaking her shoulder. He had started to call her "Kathryn," but he’d stopped himself just in time.

Suddenly Kes was there, on the other side of the captain, running a tricorder over her. "What happened?" she asked.

"She stood up and lost consciousness," Chakotay said. He thought about mentioning the strange way she’d been acting lately, but decided against it. He’d talk to the doctor later.

Kes pressed a hypospray to the captain’s neck, and her eyes fluttered open a moment later. She was surprised to find herself lying on her back with Chakotay and Kes looking down at her. The last thing she remembered was thinking she should head for her ready room. "What happened?" she asked.

"You passed out," Kes said. "We need to get you to sickbay."

"I’m fine," she said, sitting up. Kes and Chakotay both put their hands on her shoulders to support her. For a moment, dizziness struck again, but her head cleared quickly.

"You’re not fine, Captain; your blood pressure is extremely low, and you are going to sickbay." The tiny Ocampan, though she kept her voice low, said the words in a way that left no room for argument. "Don’t try to get up too fast."

Chakotay and Kes helped her slowly get to her feet. Her head swam at first, but they held her up until she was steady, and then all three headed toward the turbolift. Everyone on the bridge was watching them. "Mr. Tuvok, you have the bridge," Chakotay called on the way out.

Part 6

As they stepped into sickbay, Chakotay saw that the doctor was waiting by a biobed. Kes headed the captain that way, and he followed. As Kes and the doctor helped her onto the bed, he saw the expression on her face. She looked terrified. As the doctor scanned her, he said without looking up, "Commander, why don’t you step into my office for a moment?"

Chakotay went into the doctor’s office and looked at them through the glass. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, nor could he read lips, but he watched anyway. There was a rather long conversation between all three of them, punctuated by a hug between Kes and Janeway. As the doctor pressed a hypospray to the captain’s neck, Kes turned and beckoned to him.

Walking out the door, he heard, "…usually gives almost complete relief for the first couple of doses, but then settles down to a partial level. Unfortunately, it’s the best I can give you. You’ll need to stop by before breakfast the day after tomorrow for the next dose, and then every couple of days after that." He injected her with another hypospray. "I want you to rest for the rest of the day and tomorrow. That should take effect in about four hours; I would suggest you get some sleep and then eat a light meal, perhaps some soup and fruit juice. Also, try and stay away from the coffee." She gave him an evil look, and he decided that maybe not allowing her coffee wasn’t such a good idea. "At least switch to decaf. And none after noon." He injected her with yet another hypospray. "That’s a mild tranquilizer; it should help you get some sleep." He then turned to Chakotay. "Commander, could you take the captain to her quarters?"

"Sure," Chakotay said. He desperately wanted to know what was going on. When the doctor told her to take a day and a half off and she didn’t even protest, he knew something was wrong. Kes and the doctor helped her off the biobed and they left sickbay together.

Part 7

"So what happened?" he asked as they stepped into the captain’s quarters.

"My blood pressure got a little low, and I stood up too fast."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why was your blood pressure so low?"

"I don’t want to talk about it, Commander," she responded, using his rank intentionally.

"If you insist on pulling rank on me, I’ll have to declare you unfit for duty. This has been going on for too long. Now, are you going to listen to me or not?"

"Go ahead," she said sharply.

"A lot of people are worried about you. You’ve been acting strangely ever since you came back from that planet. You haven’t been eating or sleeping, and to be brutally honest, you look like hell. Kathryn, something is obviously very wrong. I’m speaking as a friend now, not as your first officer. I want to help you with whatever it is you’re dealing with, but I can’t help you if you shut me out."

The look of defiance in her eyes had changed as he spoke into something he couldn’t recognize. "Come back later," she said softly. "I need some time to think."

"I’ll join you for that soup and fruit juice this evening," he said. "Get some rest, Kathryn." With that, he left her quarters.

As she went into her bedroom and slowly began changing into comfortable sleepwear, she thought about what had transpired in sickbay a few minutes earlier:

He’s going to find out, was her thought as the doctor and Kes helped her onto a biobed. For some reason, she hated the thought of Chakotay finding out about her pregnancy more than anyone else. She was very relieved when the doctor sent him into the office.

"Captain," he said as soon as Chakotay was out of earshot, "you’re pregnant."

"I know."

"You’re showing signs of malnutrition and sleep deprivation, and your enzyme levels indicate rather severe morning sickness. How long has this been going on?"

"I’ve been having trouble keeping food down for five days, and the insomnia started weeks ago."

"Captain, you should have come to see me much sooner. Even if you didn’t think it necessary to come for the insomnia, you should have come straight here the moment you started getting sick. How am I to be expected to keep you in good health when…" He was silenced by Kes.

"Captain, there’s nothing to be afraid of," Kes said, taking her hand. Once again, Kathryn was amazed at how easily the young Ocampan could read her. "If you ever need to talk, I’m here."

Kathryn sat up and gave her a hug. "Thank you, Kes."

The doctor pushed her back down on the bed. "You passed out because your blood pressure was extremely low because you haven’t been taking care of yourself. Kes, would you get Commander Chakotay?" Not waiting for a response, he continued, "This is the beginning of a standard prenatal vitamin regimen," and he pressed a hypospray to her neck. "This," as he brandished another hypospray, "is an anti-nausea agent. It usually gives almost complete relief for the first couple of doses…"

Part 8

Commander Chakotay walked into his quarters and breathed a sigh of relief. It had been a very long day. He’d told the bridge crew that the captain was fine but would be off duty for that day and the next. There had been a very tense atmosphere on the bridge for the rest of the shift, and it was exhausting.

After changing from his uniform into casual clothes, he headed next door to the captain’s quarters. He was very eager to know what was going on. He rang the chime twice, but there was no response. He wondered if she was still asleep—heaven knows she needed it—and he was just about to go when he heard an anguished scream.

He quickly punched in the override code and ran in. Seeing no sign of her in the sitting room, he ran into the bedroom. Kathryn was in bed, thrashing about and mumbling.

"No! Stop it! Let me go!" A pause, and then, "I won’t let you hurt her! She’s just a baby!"

"Kathryn, wake up," Chakotay said, shaking her shoulders. "It’s just a dream. You need to wake up now."

She opened her eyes, but she didn’t see him. "Please, no," she cried as tears ran down her cheeks. "I’ll do anything you want, just leave her alone." She paused again. "Yes, anything, as long as it doesn’t hurt her."

She began screaming again at the top of her lungs. Chakotay pulled her up to him and rocked her back and forth. "Kathryn, please wake up. Please. I can’t take this anymore."

Abruptly the scream stopped, and she pulled away from him. Her face registered confusion, but she was awake. "Chakotay?" she asked. "What happened?"

"You had a bad dream."

Fleeting images passed through her mind, but then they were gone. "I can’t remember."

"That happens sometimes. Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll take care of dinner?"

"Dinner? What time is it?"

"About 1900 hours."

She looked surprised. "It’s been a long, long time since I slept that long in the middle of the day."

He smiled. "You needed it. Now, you’d better get dressed." He left her bedroom.

About ten minutes later she emerged, showered and dressed in civilian clothes. Her hair, left loose, fell halfway down her back. She looked much better than she had in weeks, but she still looked tired.

"What kind of juice do you like best?" he asked.

"Coffee juice," she said with a grin. He gave her a stern look. "Just kidding. Depends on what I’m eating."

"Vegetable soup."

She thought for a moment. "Apple juice."

He got the drinks from the replicator, and they sat down at the table, which was set for two with a steaming pot of soup in the middle. She was silent as he ladled the soup into two bowls. "We’ll talk after we eat," he said as he placed a bowl in front of her. He could wait until she had something in her stomach before he pried information out of her. He watched as she began to eat. She swallowed several spoonfuls of broth before she started on the vegetables, but he was relieved to see that she was actually putting food into her mouth. "How is it?" he asked after a few minutes.

"Wonderful," she said. They continued to eat in silence. She finished her bowl in the time it had taken Chakotay to eat two bowls. He offered her seconds, and she refused, but he managed to cajole her into having another half a bowl. As she finished that, she yawned, hoping against hope that Chakotay would forget about wanting to know why she had been acting the way she did.

That was, of course, impossible. Without a word he took her arm and led her to the couch. When they had both settled in, he looked at her expectantly.

She took a deep breath and began.

Part 9

"This is going to be very hard for me, so don’t get upset if I take it slow. I also don’t want you to say anything until I’m finished, all right?" He nodded. "Six weeks ago, after I fell down that hole in the cave, I woke up and couldn’t see anything, nor could I move my legs. The only connection I had to the world around me was Jolan’s voice. There was something strange about his voice. It had an almost hypnotic quality. And then his music…it just made me feel so relaxed and at peace, like I haven’t felt for years.

"I made a mistake and gave in to feelings I should have been able to control. I think it was partly his voice, partly because I felt sorry for him, and partly because I knew I would never have to see him again. I certainly didn’t plan for it to happen, and I regretted it immediately afterwards. I thought when I came back that I could simply block it out and forget about it, but it didn’t work. Every time I’ve closed my eyes for the past six weeks I’ve remembered, and my mind keeps turning on it for hours." She stopped for a moment, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I’m pregnant."

He looked at her with love and compassion in his eyes. She looked away. How could he still feel that way? Wasn’t he angry at her for giving to another man what she couldn’t give him? She felt his hand under her chin as he pulled her head back so she was looking at him again.

"Kathryn, it’s not your fault. You were completely helpless. I know how hard it is for you not to be in control, but you weren’t in control down there. No one could have expected you to be."

"He tried to stop me. He told me that I wasn’t myself, but I didn’t listen."

"He must have wanted it too, because if he really wanted to stop you he could have just left the room. Kathryn, when you were down there you were hurt and scared and completely dependent on someone else. You didn’t do anything wrong, anymore than a child who’s been molested does. He took advantage of you. I think if you’ll look back you’ll find that he was the one who instigated things physically."

"I gave him a kiss. That’s how it started."

"And he took it beyond that."

"Well, yes, but he would have stopped if…"

"Kathryn," he interrupted, putting a finger to her lips to silence her, "it’s not your fault. You weren’t yourself. Please, tell me that I’m making some sense."

"I just wish I could believe you!" she cried, starting a fresh round of tears.

He pulled her closer, and she twisted around so that her back pressed against his chest. "It’s probably going to take awhile for you to get over this. But Kathryn…" She turned her head up so that she faced him looking down. "You should have come to someone with this much, much earlier. You’ve let this fester for six weeks, and the pain and the guilt aren’t going to go away if you just ignore them. Promise me that the next time you have a problem, you’ll talk to someone about it, whether it be me, or Kes, or Tuvok, or anyone. You don’t have to be alone, Kathryn. Promise?"

"I promise."

Part 10

Kathryn came awake suddenly, and for a moment she didn’t remember where she was. She gathered her thoughts for a moment and realized that it had just been a dream. Unlike her nightmare of the evening before last, though, the dream she had just awoken from was probably one of the happiest she had ever had.

She had been having a picnic in a lovely meadow with Chakotay, and with them was a little girl with red curls and big green eyes. The sense of happiness and contentment had permeated the whole scene. Remembering it, she subconsciously pressed a hand to her abdomen.

She was going to have a baby! Although she’d realized that she was pregnant, she hadn’t yet thought of it in terms of actually having a baby. She was suddenly immobilized by two very opposite emotions—joy and fear. Joy because she’d always wanted to have a child someday; fear because she hadn’t expected that "someday" to be now. She’d always thought that this would be something that she would plan for carefully; she certainly didn’t expect to find herself pregnant in the middle of the Delta Quadrant with the father of her child, a man she barely knew, in prison somewhere. She suddenly found herself laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

After lying in bed for a few minutes, she asked the computer for the time. To her surprise, it was only a few minutes before her alarm would have gone off. For the last six weeks she’d woken up at least an hour early almost every day. Yesterday, though, she’d slept in until nearly 0830 despite the very long nap she’d had the night before. She’d had some fruit, tea, and toast, then read for a while, and then worked on a painting. After that she’d had a light lunch, and then she’d gone to the holodeck. Chakotay had come over for dinner again, bringing some reports to work on, and afterwards they had talked for perhaps an hour, but this time she’d carefully steered clear of topics related to her pregnancy. He’d promised to accompany her to sickbay and then to breakfast this morning.

She got out of bed and stretched, noticing that she felt better than she had in a long time, at least physically. Emotionally, she was in a complete turmoil. For perhaps the thousandth time she wished they had a counselor on board. She was just going to have to work through this on her own. Yes, Chakotay had offered to help, but he obviously couldn’t have any idea what it was like to find oneself pregnant, single, and already responsible for a hundred and fifty lives.

As she stepped into the shower, she realized that perhaps that was why she hadn’t encouraged children on Voyager. She hadn’t discouraged them, but she hadn’t endorsed them either. She was responsible for enough people as it was, without adding innocent children to the ship’s population. She wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry at the irony of what was happening now: she was encouraging children about as blatantly as anyone could. She hadn’t planned to get pregnant, but that didn’t mean a thing. The thought that had been plaguing her the past few days came again: I can’t do this.

Abortion. The idea came to her for the first time, and she thought about how easy it would be. Just go to sickbay and tell the doctor she had decided not to continue the pregnancy. No fuss, no bother. No extra mouth to feed and no encouragement of children on board.

If she’d had the thought yesterday, she might have gone through with it. But the dream she’d woken up remembering gave her pause. Right now, this pregnancy was a problem. But in a few more months, it would be a child. It wasn’t the child’s fault that her parents hadn’t thought things through, and she hardly deserved to die for it.

Continuing her pregnancy and raising her child alone would be a challenge, yes, but Kathryn Janeway had never been one to back down from a challenge. She could do this, she told herself firmly as she stepped out of the shower, dried her hair, and did her makeup.

She checked the time and found that she only had five minutes until Chakotay would be there. She quickly pulled on her uniform, realizing as she did so that it wouldn’t fit in a few more months.

Before she knew it, she was crying again. She lay down on her bed with her hair still not done and only one boot on and sobbed into the pillow, uncaring of her recently applied makeup. That was how Chakotay found her a few minutes later.

Part 11

Conversation quieted noticeably when they entered the mess hall, but soon returned to its normal level. Everyone noticed, though, that the captain and the first officer had come into breakfast late—and together. Normally nearly everyone would probably have ignored it, but nearly everyone had heard the latest rumors, most of which contended that the captain was pregnant. She had been acting strangely, they all had to admit, and the computer confirmed that Chakotay had spent a lot of time in her quarters the past two days.

They were late, of course, because Janeway had needed to freshen herself up after her crying bout, and also because they had stopped in sickbay so she could get another dose of the doctor’s anti-nausea brew. He warned her again that she might get a bit nauseated again in a couple of days and extracted a promise from her that she would eat six good meals in the next forty-eight hours. He then "assigned" Chakotay to make sure that she got enough to eat.

As the two of them picked up breakfast trays from Neelix, the Talaxian expressed his happiness that she was feeling better. He also noted, though he didn’t say anything, that she actually filled her tray for the first time in weeks. He only hoped that it would come back with a significant portion of its contents gone this time.

"Why don’t we sit with the Three Stooges today?" Chakotay asked, pointing to the table where Tom, B’Elanna, and Harry sat. "We can get a little entertainment with our breakfast." He was relieved to see that the comment produced a small smile from her, the first real one he had seen all morning. She had used her "captain’s smile" on Neelix, but he knew her well enough to know the difference.

"Mind if we join you?" Chakotay asked as they approached their intended table.

"If you can find another chair," B’Elanna responded. The round table usually had five chairs, but it was currently missing one. Chakotay gestured to Kathryn to sit in the empty chair and went off to find another one.

"Feeling better, Captain?" Paris asked.

"Yes, I am, thank you," she replied, giving him her "captain’s smile" again. Chakotay returned with another chair and they moved to make room for him.

Kathryn and Chakotay started on their breakfasts, and the five officers engaged in small talk (when they had arrived, the former topic of conversation had come to an abrupt stop). Pretty soon Janeway and Torres were involved in a very technical conversation about a problem with the plasma injectors which none of the others could follow; the men then began discussing what Tom should include in his newest holoprogram. Tom, Harry, and B’Elanna all noticed that Chakotay kept his eye on the captain throughout, or more precisely on what she ate. Despite their flippant remarks about her rush out of the mess hall two days before, all three were quite concerned about their commanding officer, but they all knew better than to pry.

Torres, Kim, and Paris finished their breakfasts and left, leaving Chakotay and Kathryn alone once again. As soon as they were gone, Chakotay asked, "Are you feeling better?"

She was tempted to respond with her usual "I’m fine," but she knew that he expected more than that. So she answered, "A little. I’ve still got a lot of things to think through."

"When are you going to tell the crew?"

She paused for a moment; she really hadn’t given any thought to that. "Well, it will have to be after I’ve adjusted to it myself."

"I guess that won’t be a problem as long as you’re adjusted to it before they figure it out on their own."

"For heaven’s sake, I hope it doesn’t take that long. I’d have killed myself by that time!" Fortunately she laughed at the end of that statement, or Chakotay, in the state he was currently in, might have called the doctor to arrange for a suicide watch. Calm down, Chakotay, he told himself. She’s going to pull back into her shell if you get overprotective. As it was, she was being more open with him than she had been since... well, since New Earth. If this was what pregnancy did to her, he was all for pregnancy. Evidently it took huge, life-changing events to get Kathryn Janeway to open up to people. He mused on this as they finished their breakfasts and headed to the bridge.

Part 12

"That’ll be all. Dismissed," Captain Janeway said at the end of the morning briefing. Everyone headed out with the exception of Commander Chakotay. "What is it, Commander?" Janeway asked; she had a feeling it had something to do with her pregnancy.

"I was just wondering... well, it’s been two weeks now, and I was wondering when you were going to make the announcement."

She rubbed the back of her neck. "I’m considering just telling Mr. Paris. Everyone on the ship would know within an hour," she said with a grin. "Actually, I have a feeling there’s already a rumor going around. People seem to have been scrutinizing me more carefully than usual."

"I think it would be better if they hear it from you, though."

She sighed. "You’re probably right. I’m just not sure how to go about it. I thought about making a ship-wide announcement, but it just doesn’t feel right."

"Actually, I mentioned it today because I have an idea. Neelix is having another Talent Night; you could announce it then."

She was silent for a moment, then said, "I’ll think about it." He started to get up to go, but she motioned him back down again. "Since you’re here, I might as well tell you that I have an appointment in sickbay for 1600 today. I’ll probably be there for a couple of hours, and I’d appreciate it if you could handle anything that comes up, short of an emergency."

"Of course. Is something wrong?"

"No, the doctor just wants to do a complete examination. It isn’t exactly my idea of a good time; I get enough poking, prodding, and lecturing at my annual physical, but I suppose it has to be done."

"Just think of it as the baby’s annual physical."

"Actually, I have a feeling it’s going to be the baby’s monthly physical, from the way he sounded when we scheduled this."

"Would you like me to fix you dinner afterwards?"

"That would be nice. Thank you," she said with a flash of a genuine smile. "Well, we’d better get back to the bridge before any new rumors get started."

Part 13

"I’ll have the results of the genetic scan by tomorrow; other than that, everything seems fine. You’re a bit underweight, but that’s nothing to worry about yet. As long as you keep eating, you should be fine."

"So I’m free to go?"

"Not quite." The doctor handed her a padd. "These are the new nutrition guidelines you’ll need to follow. Also, you need to exercise more, at least three times a week. Don’t do anything really strenuous—no fighting Klingons on the holodeck—but for the most part, anything you want to do is fine. If you have a question, check with me. As far as the anti-nausea medication and your vitamins, I’d like you to start taking those on your own instead of coming here. Have you ever swallowed pills?"

Kathryn was still reeling from the doctor’s speech. "Swallowed what?"

"Pills. Medicine—or vitamins—in a capsule form. It’s simple enough to do." He handed her a bottle, then opened another one and took out a small, cylindrical white object. "Just place it on your tongue, take a drink of water, and swallow. It should go right down. Try it tomorrow; if you have major problems come back and I’ll give you something you can chew...although the taste will be quite unpleasant. The bottles are labeled; take one of each every morning. Any questions?"

"Um...I don’t think so."

"Good. In that case, you can go. I’d like you to come back tomorrow so we can review the results of the genetic scan. Since this child is a hybrid between two species, and since I have no medical data on the father’s species, the scan is even more important than it would normally be."

"All right, doctor. I’ll see you tomorrow, then." She stood up and left sickbay, glad that the ordeal was over.

Part 14

The door chime rang. "Come in," Commander Chakotay said. The doors opened to admit Kathryn Janeway. "So how did it go?" he asked.

"All right, I guess. The doctor wants me to eat more, sleep more, and exercise more, but that’s to be expected. He also gave me some vitamins and told me to learn how to swallow pills."

"Sounds like fun," Chakotay said with a grimace. "Hungry?"

"I’m ravenous," she replied.

"So the anti-nausea medication is working?"

"Sort of. I still feel sick in the mornings, but it’s not nearly as bad as it was." She sniffed the dish he sat down and grinned. "It smells delicious," she said.

"Well, eat up," he said. "So, did you find out if it’s a boy or a girl?"

"I didn’t ask," she answered in between bites of the delicious casserole Chakotay had replicated. "I’m supposed to go back tomorrow for the results of a genetic scan. I suppose I’ll find out then." She took another bite, and then Chakotay heard her say, "It’s a girl."

"I thought you said you didn’t ask."

"What?" She looked up at him, startled.

"You just said it’s a girl. How can you be so sure if you didn’t ask?"

"I didn’t say anything." Kathryn was confused. She remembered the thought—suddenly, out of the blue, the words "It’s a girl" had floated through her head—but she hadn’t said it out loud...had she?

"I’m sure I heard you."

"Well, maybe I did." They moved on to other topics, and the incident was soon forgotten.

Part 15

Kathryn Janeway entered sickbay. Looking around and seeing no one, she called out, "Doctor?"

Kes stepped out of the doctor’s office. "Hello, Captain," she said. "The doctor went to take care of a minor accident; he should be back soon. In the meantime, shall we get started?"

"What happened?" Janeway asked, concerned. She’d just come from the bridge, and there hadn’t been any accident reported.

"Apparently Ensign Michaels slipped in the shower and sprained her ankle."

"I see," Kathryn said, settling herself in a chair in the office.

"Well, first of all, would you like to know the sex of the baby?" Kes asked brightly.

Janeway already had a very strong idea of the child’s sex. "It’s a girl, isn’t it?"

Kes looked at her, surprised. "How did you know?"

"I’m not sure; I’ve known for a while now. Were there any anomalies on the genetic scan?"

"Not any obvious ones. Human and Kyrae genetics seem to be very compatible."

Both women heard the doors to sickbay swish open, and they looked up to see the doctor. "Ah, captain," he said, "sorry I’m late. Ensign Michaels had a little accident."

"So I heard. Kes was just telling me that everything looked fine on the scan."

"Yes, things seem to be going remarkably well for a hybrid pregnancy. The only thing that isn’t completely normal for a human pregnancy is that the embryo is a bit more developed than is usual at 10 weeks of pregnancy, but that’s hardly anything to worry about. The Kyrae gestation period is probably slightly shorter than that of humans. We still need to watch things closely, though, since we know nothing about the makeup of the other species, and since the hybridization is entirely unprecedented."

Kathryn decided to mention something that had been on her mind for quite a while. Although she knew it shouldn’t bother her, it did a little. "Jolan had some... facial deformities. Is there any possibility that they could be passed on?"

"What kind of facial deformities?"

"I don’t know. He was born with them, though."

"They’re probably not genetic. Even on the off chance that they were passed on, I can probably correct them with surgery later in the pregnancy."

"But there’s no way to check now?"

"It wouldn’t make any difference; if there is a problem, I can’t correct it until at least the beginning of the fifth month; the facial features won’t be developed enough until then."

"It would give me peace of mind."

"Well, there is a way we can get an idea. Kes, could you get me my holo-imaging device?"

"Your camera?" Janeway asked.

"I can program it to take a picture of you from the inside out."

A few minutes later, the doctor finally announced that he was ready. He gave the computer a series of instructions, and a three dimensional image appeared in front of them.

"That’s your daughter, Captain," Kes said with a smile.

Kathryn stepped closer. She saw an unmistakably humanoid form: two arms and two legs with definite fingers and toes and a head almost as big as the body. She could see two eyes, two bumps on the sides of the head where the ears would be, and a mouth. "There’s no nose," she said, worried.

"It hasn’t formed yet; it won’t be readily visible for another month at least. There’s nothing to worry about, Captain; she looks perfect."

Kathryn stared in awe at the image in front of her. It was incredible to think that she had created a new life, a tiny but distinct little person now growing inside of her. Suddenly and completely, she fell in love with this little girl; she realized again that her life would never be the same, but now she accepted it wholeheartedly; she didn’t want to go back to the way things were. She couldn’t wait to hold her daughter in her arms, to watch her grow up, to see her get married and have children of her own. In that moment, she had no doubts about the course she was embarked on. All the pieces she hadn’t known what to do with before fit together perfectly now. A hole in her life was filled that she hadn’t even realized existed. For the first time in a long time, thoughts of Voyager and her responsibilities left her mind. The captain disappeared. In that moment, Kathryn Janeway was a mother, and that was all.

Part 16

"Captain’s log, supplemental. We’ve stopped for supplies and shoreleave at a colony world of the Nosfu. They seem to be a friendly people, and they’ve offered to supply us with nearly everything we need, including a fresh supply of dilithium, in exchange for quantities of ferrous sulfate; apparently they can’t manufacture their own. All in all, it’s been a remarkably uncomplicated first contact.

"End log entry, switch to personal log. I still haven’t informed the crew of my pregnancy, although I’ll have to soon; I don’t have long before it’s quite obvious. I have promised myself—and Commander Chakotay—that I’ll announce it somehow just as soon as we leave the Nosfu. My due date is now twenty-five weeks away, and I must confess to being a little impatient for the baby to arrive. I spotted a lovely baby blanket in the marketplace yesterday while we were buying supplies, and I would have bought it if Neelix hadn’t been there. I may go down again before we leave and see if it’s still there, or if I can find anything else. End log entry."

Kathryn leaned back in her chair and rubbed the bridge of her nose. She had a slight headache; she wondered if it was something she ate. She had managed to completely eliminate coffee about two weeks ago; she had told the doctor she would try it for a while just to shut him up, but she found to her surprise that she felt better once she wasn’t drinking two to four cups of coffee a day. She was getting less headaches and more sleep. She’d also found that she had an incredible appetite, but that was probably due to being pregnant rather than giving up coffee.

Regular meals were something else that she was surprised to discover the benefits of. Almost constant hunger forced her to eat at least three meals a day, and decent nutrition was doing wonders for her. Her skin had a healthy glow, her hair was shiny instead of dull, and her nails broke less easily. The nausea had disappeared about a month ago, and she had gained quite a bit of weight in the last few months. The doctor, though, was concerned that she hadn’t gained enough; he said she still weighed less than what she should at the beginning of her fourth month. He had conceded that as long as she was eating regularly and continuing to gain weight, she had nothing to worry about. He had, however, ordered her to double her replicator rations; she didn’t want to use more energy on herself, but he had reminded her that she had done the same thing for Ensign Wildman during her pregnancy.

The door chime rang, startling Kathryn out of her reverie. "Come in," she called.

Commander Chakotay entered. "Ready for the reception?" he asked.

"Oh, my goodness, I completely forgot about it," she answered, remembering the reception that the Nosfu governor had invited them to. "Give me five minutes." She hurried into her bedroom to change into appropriate clothing.

Part 17

"Ah, Captain, Commander, welcome to the planet Tarlens," Governor Marsu said. "You remember Assistant Governor Krolik, and may I introduce Ambassador Alaia of the Quislai Empire." He presented a young-looking woman who looked more human than Nosfu. "Ambassador, may I present Captain Kathryn Janeway and Commander Chakotay of the starship Voyager."

"Captain, Commander," the woman said, nodding to them. "Well, Captain, I suppose congratulations are in order."

Kathryn was confused. "Congratulations?"

"On your impending child."

"Well, thank you, but...how did you know?"

"I’m telepathic, and I can sense the child’s presence. Your child has a strong spirit, captain."

"Thank you, Ambassador," Kathryn said, a bit nonplussed. Alaia moved away with an enigmatic smile.

The reception was small, consisting of about a dozen planetary officials and Voyager’s senior staff. Governor Marsu had specified that they not wear "those uncomfortable-looking uniforms." Kathryn, for one, had been happy to comply; although her uniform was normally quite comfortable, lately it had been a bit too tight in several places. She supposed she would have to replicate a bigger size soon.

Kathryn spent most of the evening making small talk with Governor Marsu. The man seemed to her strangely cold and distant; he would fit in well with a Vulcan society. There was something almost frightening about him, though; his smile chilled her. At 2200 hours, three-quarters of the way through the reception, she finally managed to maneuver him into conversation with Tuvok and excuse herself.

She saw Chakotay speaking to Krolik, who had also given her a strange sense of discomfort when she had spoken to him earlier in the day. In fact, all the Nosfu she had met had given her "the creeps," as she had called the sensation in her Academy days. She decided to seek out Ambassador Alaia, the only non-Nosfu at the gathering besides her own crew.

Alaia was deep in conversation with Neelix. As Kathryn approached, she heard Neelix say, "Well, thank you very much for the recipe, Ambassador. I’ll be sure to try it...Oh, hello, Captain. Well, I think I’ll go get myself some punch." He zipped off, leaving Kathryn alone with Alaia.

"Captain," Alaia said with a pleased smile. "Your morale officer is very...friendly." She seemed to search a while for the right word. "Quite a contrast to the Nosfu. I’ve never met a member of his species before; are they all so outgoing?"

"I couldn’t tell you; Neelix is the only Talaxian I know."

"I see." She paused a moment. "I understand from Governor Marsu that your ship is on a very long journey home?"

"Yes; unless we find some kind of shortcut, we’ll be in space for another sixty-six years."

"Oh, my goodness. I can’t imagine being away from home that long. No Quislai is ever assigned to a position away from their home world for more than a year at a time. I would rather not have left at all, but unfortunately all Quislai of my birth rank are required to serve one six-month term as Ambassador and one six-month term as Governor of a colony world."

"So your society is an aristocracy, then?"

"Basically, yes. We’re ruled by one monarch with nearly absolute power; many other cultures have had problems with that form of government, but our government has changed very little in the past hundred thousand years."

Janeway stared at Alaia in shock for a moment. "Did you say a hundred thousand years?"

"Uh-huh. In fact, we’ve had the same ruling family for over five thousand years. The crown has proceeded directly from father to son for nearly four hundred years."

"That’s incredible. My people can only recount about three thousand years of our history."

"You should be passing through our space soon...well, actually, at your speeds, it’ll be two years. I’ll make sure I put in a good word for you."

"Thank you; we certainly appreciate all the help we can get."

Just then, Governor Marsu called for a toast, then wished everyone a good night and the Voyager crew a happy journey. Kathryn thanked him eloquently for his planet’s generosity and his kindness to them; he responded that he had simply made a trade that was beneficial to both. The evening ended on a high note as Voyager’s senior staff returned to the ship. Kathryn went to the bridge, gave the orders necessary to set the ship again on a course towards home, and went to bed.

Part 18

The door to Janeway's ready room chimed early in her shift the next morning. "Come in," she called. She had a fair idea who it was and what it was about.

She was right. Commander Chakotay entered and came over to her desk. "Well, Kathryn, we've left the Nosfu. It's time."

"I suppose," she sighed, and then was silent for a moment.

"You know, you're not usually one to procrastinate. And you normally have no problem making announcements to the crew," Chakotay said with a grin.

"Well, this is more...personal," she answered, then stayed quiet again.

"So how are you going to do it?"

"I've thought about it, and I've decided that I'm more comfortable with telling people individually."

"Kathryn, you can't tell everyone on this ship individually."

"I know. I'm going to tell the senior staff individually today; I think I'll just let them spread the word."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"What would work better? Stand up and announce it in the mess hall? I will tell everyone that anyone who asks questions should be referred to me."

"Well, I suppose it'll be all right. At least you're finally letting the word out."

"Uh-huh. So, while you're in here, I'll start with you. Commander, I'm pregnant, and you can tell anybody you want to after your shift is over today. If anybody has any questions send them to me."

"Yes, ma'am," Chakotay answered, standing and giving her a mock salute. "Shall I send in the next victim?"

"No, I'll call him," she answered. He left and she tapped her commbadge. "Tuvok, could I see you in my ready room, please?"

"Certainly, Captain; I will be there momentarily," the calm voice of the Vulcan came back.

Part 19

"What is it, Captain?" Tuvok asked when they were both seated on the couch, he having refused her offer of a drink. Kathryn was sipping a glass of orange juice.

"Well, I have some news for you, Tuvok," Kathryn said. She hesitated; he just waited expectantly. She took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

Tuvok looked at her for a moment longer, then spoke. "I had suspected something of the sort. Since you collapsed on the bridge eight weeks ago, I have wondered if something were wrong."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"I have noted how often you have seen the doctor since your collapse, as well as how much time you have spent with Commander Chakotay. You seem to have been improving, so I did not feel it necessary to intervene."

"Thank you, Tuvok." She wasn't sure what she was thanking him for, but it seemed appropriate. "Feel free to tell anyone you wish, confirm rumors, or whatever after your shift today; send anyone with questions to me."

"What are your plans, Captain?"

"I'll tell the rest of the senior staff; after that I'll let word of mouth spread the news."

"When are you due?"

"In twenty-five weeks." She smiled then, and said, "Seems like it can't come soon enough."

Tuvok nodded. He started to leave, but then stopped. "Congratulations, Captain."

Part 20

Harry Kim looked at Tom as he exited the captain's ready room. First Chakotay had gone in, then she had called Tuvok in, then B'Elanna, and now Tom. Harry really wanted to know what was going on.

"Janeway to Kim. Please report to my ready room, Ensign," the captain's voice came through his communicator.

"On my way, Captain," he answered. Well, I guess I'll find out, he thought as he headed toward the doors.

Part 21

"Captain!" Neelix cried in surprise as she walked in. "Um, we're between meals right now, but I'm sure I can find you something..."

"I'm not here to eat, Neelix; I wanted to talk to you for a moment."

"Of course, Captain, anytime." He quickly reached a stopping point in his preparations for lunch. "Shall we sit down?"

"Oh, that's not necessary; this'll just take a minute." She paused for a moment, and Neelix looked at her expectantly. "Neelix, I'm pregnant," she said quickly.

"Congratulations, Captain!" Neelix said, clearly quite happy. "That's wonderful news. When is the baby due?"

"Twenty-five weeks."

"Well, that's just wonderful. We should have a party to celebrate."

"Oh, good gracious, no, Neelix. We don't need to have a party."

"Of course we do! After all, this is only Voyager's second child, and the captain's no less! We absolutely must celebrate such a momentous occasion."

Kathryn thought quickly. "I'll tell you what, Neelix. On Earth it's traditional to give women what's called a 'baby shower' shortly before their due date. It's basically a party where people give gifts for the baby. Although it's often only attended by women, we could have one with everyone closer to my due date. But not now; it's far too early for a baby shower."

"Well, if you insist, I suppose we can wait. How long before the due date?"

"I'll let you know when it's close enough." Hopefully, it would never be close enough. "One more thing, Neelix; I'd appreciate you keeping this quiet until about 1700 today; after that you can tell anyone you like. If anyone has any questions, send them to me."

"Oh, of course, Captain. Let me congratulate you again; that's such wonderful news. I was wondering if there would be any more children on board for Naomi to play with."

"Well, there will be in about six months. I'll see you later, Neelix."

"See you later, Captain!" he called as she left the mess hall.

Kathryn smiled as she headed back to the bridge. Neelix was the last; she had now told all of her senior officers. Although they all said they hadn't known before, no one really seemed surprised. Apparently the rumor was more prevalent than she thought it had been.

Part 22

Tom, B'Elanna, and Harry sat in the mess hall that evening, eating dinner. Tom had been thinking about announcing the captain's pregnancy to the entire mess hall when they had entered, but Neelix had beat him to it; the Talaxian was telling everyone who came through the food line that the captain was expecting.

"When the captain said to tell anyone we wanted to, I don't think this was what she meant," B'Elanna said, referring to Neelix' behavior.

"I don't know; maybe it was exactly what she meant," Harry replied.

"What do you mean?" B'Elanna asked.

"Well, she gave me the impression that she wanted everyone on board to know, but she didn't want to just make an announcement or something. And this way, everyone on board will know pretty quick."

The three of them watched as Neelix reached Samantha and Naomi Wildman, who had just come in. He was no doubt telling the little girl that pretty soon she would not be the only child on Voyager.

"Well, I think you two owe me some replicator rations," Tom said. "After all, I said a couple of months ago that she was pregnant."

"We never bet anything, though, you pig," Torres said.

"As I recall, Chakotay was threatening to throw you out an airlock before we even got to that point," Harry chimed in.

"Oh, all right. Anyway, I was right and you were wrong."

B'Elanna suddenly thought of something. "Did she mention to either of you who the father is?"

Both men shook their heads. "Now that you mention it, that does seem rather odd," Harry said. "If it was someone on board they'd announce it together, wouldn't they?"

"Could it be Chakotay?" Tom asked. "She has been spending a lot of time with him lately."

"No, I don't think it's Chakotay," B'Elanna answered. "She's only been with him so much since she collapsed on the bridge, and she was already pregnant then."

"She said she's due in twenty-five weeks, which means she must be fifteen weeks pregnant now," Harry thought out loud.

"Which means she conceived about thirteen weeks ago..." Tom interjected.

"That man on the planet!" B'Elanna shouted suddenly.

"Huh?" the men said in unison.

"You remember a few months ago when Captain Janeway disappeared and then that ship showed up and said they were looking for a fugitive? And then we got the captain back and the other ship left at the same time."

"Yeah, we never did find out exactly what happened," Tom said.

"So you think it was the fugitive the other ship was looking for?" Harry asked. B'Elanna nodded. "So do you think she was...raped?" He said the word with an air of horror; he couldn't imagine something like that happening to the captain.

"I hope not...I don't know," B'Elanna said. "But whatever happened, it really isn't any of our business unless she wants to tell us."

The men nodded. This was far too personal to pry into.

"Hey, Tom, is Neelix playing some kind of joke or something?" a voice asked from behind him.

"Yeah, the captain's not really pregnant, is she?" a similar voice asked.

Tom turned around to see the Delaney sisters. "Uh-huh," he said. "Neelix is telling the truth; the captain's pregnant."

Jenny--at least he thought it was Jenny--gaped. "Are you sure?" Megan asked in shock.

"She told us all this morning," B'Elanna said.

"Wow," Jenny exclaimed. "I knew somebody would get pregnant eventually, but I never thought it would be the captain." The two sisters moved away, deep in conversation, and Tom, B'Elanna, and Harry continued their meal.

Part 23

Chakotay entered Kathryn's quarters at her call to find her on the couch reading a report, wearing a loose flowing dress. "I like your dress," he said.

She looked up. "It's the only thing I could find that fits properly. I suppose I'll have to start replicating some new clothes soon." She went back to the report.

Chakotay moved to the couch and sat beside her. "You look awfully tense," he said as he put his hands to her shoulders and started kneading out the knots in her muscles.

"I'm tired," she responded. "It's been a long day." She put down the padd and leaned back towards him. "Um, that feels good," she murmured.

"I guess hearing all those 'Congratulations' really takes it out of you," he said with a grin.

"Mm-hmmm," was her only response.

Chakotay continued his ministrations in silence, working until her muscles were slack and relaxed. When he stopped, he noticed how even her breathing was. "Good grief, Kathryn," he said softly. "You know you're overworked when a simple massage puts you to sleep." She moaned as he lifted her gently and carried her toward her bedroom. "Tomorrow we'll talk about you taking a few days off; you need them whether you realize it or not." He lay her gently on her bed and pulled the blanket up over her. She grasped the blanket and turned in her sleep so she was lying on her side. "Goodnight, Kathryn," Chakotay whispered; then, doing something he would never have dared to do if she were awake, he bent down and gave her a light kiss on the lips. "Good night, my love."

The end!

On to "Unexpected Visitors"