Happy Birthday to Me!
Last time...
Goku, Chi-Chi, Ami, and I had some helpful therapy about people writing fanfics on where they're unfaithful.
Star Otaku and the rest of the personalities are sitting/standing around the computer. On the computer screen are the numbers: 08/31/00
Annie: Alright, I'm bored and it's our birthday. Let's do something exciting before you guys put me back on suicide watch.
Rillsati: Oh! A Life Day celebration! Just like the Wookies do on Kashyyyk!
Rita Lynn: I got it! Let's throw cake at each other and run around the mall!
Mary: Uh, no. Why not celebrate this day by going to church?
Marionette: ...
Ami: Mmm... no. Since it's back to school time, why don't we watch one episode of Dragon Ball Z and then get ahead on some homework!
Star Otaku: Ami! You're so right!
Ami: Glad to know! Now let's start with math.
Star Otaku: Not that! I mean DBZ! Let's get Goku and Chi-Chi to celebrate with us.
Mary: Why don't you invite your other friend. Tokumei Kibon?
Star Otaku: Mary, you are so considerate.
Rita Lynn: Yay! More insane otakus! Woohoo!
Annie: You do whatever you want. I'm just going to sit off in a corner and sulk.
Rillsati: *singing off key* It's our party, and you can cry if you want to!
Star Otaku: Okay, I'll send out the invites!
Soon, assembled on the little planet are Goku, Chi-Chi, Gohan, Goten, and Tokumei Kibon.
Star Otaku: Hiya everyone!
Goten: Mom, dad, where are we?
Goku: We're on Pluto.
Goten: Okay, now I've seen everything.
Gohan: That's impossible! We'd suffocate to death by now!
Star Otaku: Apparently, you haven't heard of fanfics authors.
Gohan: Oh yeah... So I would assume that you're one too?
Star Otaku: Correct! Now, welcome to my birthday party! I'd serve cake and ice cream if anyone wants some.
Tokumei Kibon: Me! I want ice cream! Chocolate!
Star Otaku: Okay, okay. Let's get this shin dig into full swing!
Marionette, like a wind-up doll, starts to play music from some hidden speaker inside of her.
Annie, being anti-social, decides to sulk in a corner while Mary tries to bring her into the party.
Ami and Gohan are in a corner discussing study habits and general knowledge and trivia.
Gohan: I still think that a good night's sleep will keep you prepared in the morning!
Ami: But recent studies say that sleep depravation stimulates the brain. Helps retain knowledge.
Rillsati, Rita Lynn, and Goten are talking about pranks to play.
Goten: I need some help with a really good prank to play on Trunks!
Rillsati: Umm... How about super-gluing him to the seat of his desk?
Goten: It's been done.
Rita Lynn: Dress him up like a girl and parade him up and down the school!
Goten: Been tried. Failed.
Star Otaku, Tokumei Kibon, Goku, and Chi-Chi are mingling.
Goku: Got any good ideas for any fanfics?
Chi-Chi: I can't wait to read some more!
Star Otaku: Well, the thought process is a little bit slow right now. I mean, school's just starting and I did just finish Anime Survivor.
Tokumei Kibon: School's starting for me too. And then there's taking care of the site and request pics.
Chi-Chi: So I take it that "Destined Virtues" will be on hold for now.
Star Otaku and Tokumei Kibon nod their heads.
Goku: You know, it really isn't much fun without some of our other friends here. Can you at least bring along Bulma and Vegeta?
Star Otaku: As much as I'm not a big fan of the two, they are your friends, so... Okay.
Star Otaku then waves her lunch bag around and Bulma and Vegeta appear before them.
Vegeta: Kakarrot! You baka! Where are we?!
Goku: I thought you could join us for a party!
Bulma: Oh, that's so sweet of you, Goku!
Star Otaku and Tokumei Kibon growl softly.
Chi-Chi: Glad both of you could make it! Our friend, or shall I say friends, here are celebrating their birthday.
Bulma: Friends?
Chi-Chi points and introduces each of the personalities to Bulma.
Chi-Chi: ... And that finally, is Star Otaku. But you can call her Star. She's a fanfic author, so she's the one with the strange powers that brought us here.
Vegeta: *yelling* I don't care about some stupid brat's party! I want to be back in the Gravity Room with my training!
Bulma: *angrily* Vegeta! Mind your manners! It's someone's special day, and I'm not going to let you ruin it!
Tokumei Kibon: *whispers to Star Otaku* I have no idea what people see in them.
Star Otaku: *nods head* Mm-hmm.
So Bulma joins her friends talking, while Vegeta goes to another corner of the planetoid and sulks. Star Otaku follows him and approaches him.
Vegeta: What do you want, brat?
Star Otaku: Hey! Don't talk that way to someone who has the power to torture you.
Vegeta: *smirks* What's the worst you can do?
Star Otaku: Oh... I dunno. Maybe I could get you and Goku joined at the hip for one day. Maybe even longer.
Vegeta: You wouldn't dare!
Star Otaku: I would dare, and I will if you keep up that attitude!
Vegeta: I could kill you without even blinking.
Star Otaku: Omnipotent author powers. Can't kill something that's almost god-like. *mutters* Mary will really stick the "Our Father"s to me if she heard that!
Vegeta: Well, what do I have to do until this nightmare is over?
Star Otaku: Well, you could just make the best of this situation. Hey! How about a little song number?
Vegeta: Hell no! The Prince of the Saiyans doesn't sing!
Star Otaku: Oh... I think you'll like this song.
Tokumei Kibon joins in on the conversation with the three Dragon Ball adults, but then, she starts to look around.
Tokumei Kibon: Hey! Has anyone seen Star?
Everyone shrugs their shoulders.
Star Otaku: Don't worry! I'm still alive! Vegeta didn't kill me yet.
Everyone turns their heads to see Star Otaku and Vegeta walking their way.
Bulma: Vegeta! I swear if you did anything to that girl...
Vegeta: Relax woman. We just talked. *smirks*
Star Otaku: Everyone, take a seat. Vegeta and I have a special birthday treat for you all. Instead of you guys giving me a present, I thought I would give you guys the gift instead!
Everyone sits down, except Vegeta, as Star Otaku then walks up beside Marionette and whispers in her ear. The puppet girl nods and starts to play a song.
Vegeta: *speaking* Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the my dream. About me. The way my Saiyan heart beats down in the bottom of my chest. About the special feeling I get in the cockles of my heart, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the sub-cockle area. Maybe in the stomach. Maybe in the tail. Maybe even in the colon, I don't know. *singing* I'm just a regular Saiyan without a job. I'm your above-average suburbanite slob. I like fighting and sex and things about war. I've got an above-average mansion with a nice hardwood floor. My wife and my job, my kids and my car. My feet on my table, and a cuban cigar... But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested!
Star Otaku: Oh no!
Vegeta: No way!
Star Otaku: Uh-uh!
Vegeta: No, I've gotta go out and have fun. At someone else's expense
Star Otaku: Oh yeah!
Vegeta: Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah...
Everyone stares in horror and amusement as Vegeta starts to sing the rest of the song.
Vegeta: *singing* Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song. Ranting and raving and carrying on. Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong... Naaaah!
Rita Lynn, Rillsati, and Goten start to snicker and laugh. From out of nowhere, Rillsati is recording the song number using a holocam (it's from Star Wars).
Vegeta: *speaking* You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a Saiyan space pod, plain white with whale skin shielding and all leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights, yeah! And I'm gonna fly around in that baby at 1000mph, getting one mile per gallon, sucking down quarter pounder cheese burgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers. And when I'm done sucking down those grease ball burgers, I'm gonna wipe my mouth with Kakarrot's gi and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam container right out the hatch and there ain't a God damned thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because I've got the Final Flash, that's why. Three words. Ki [bleep]ing blasts, okay?! Namek, Chikyuu, Yardratto - they can have all the Democracy they want. They can have a big democracy cake-walk right through the middle of Kami's Lookout and it won't make a lick of difference because I've got the blasts, okay?! Kakarrot's not brain dead - he's stupid. And as soon as we find the cure for idiocy I'm gonna beat the crap outta the guy and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well multiply that by 15-million times, that's how pissed off the baka's gonna be. I'm gonna get the baka and his bitchy mate...
Tokumei Kibon: Hey!
Vegeta: ...and Android 18...
Chi-Chi: Hey!
Vegeta: ...and Krillin...
Gohan: Hey!
Vegeta: ...and a case of Whiskey and fly up to North Capital...
Goten: Hey, you know you really are an asshole.
Vegeta: Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song pal!
Everyone's looks of horror fade and turn into amusement as the song winds down.
Vegeta: I'm an asshole and proud of it!
Everyone starts to clap tentatively.
Star Otaku: Vegeta, you really outdid yourself! The song suits you to a T.
Vegeta: It was even more fun singing it. Although, I will beat the crap outta the baka one day.
Tokumei Kibon: *sarcastically* Of course you will. Now, if you don't mind, I have a present to give to Star.
Tokumei Kibon hands Star Otaku some papers. Star Otaku looks at them.
Star Otaku: Thanks for making these really cool pics!
Tokumei Kibon: Of course! I had to! You were the one who requested them. And you know what? I think I have a dance number just for you. You inspired me to do it.
Tokumei Kibon and the rest of the personalities get up. Tokumei Kibon whispers something in Marionette's ear.
Tokumei Kibon: *singing* Everything is bleak, it's the middle of the night, you're all alone and the dummies might be right. You feel like a jerk, my music at work, my music at work...
Tokumei Kibon and the personalities start to copy the little dance number that was in the the music video while adding some twists of their own.
Tokumei Kibon: *sings* My music at wo~ork. *bows* What'd ya think?
Star Otaku: It's not Broadway, but I like it!
Goku and Chi-Chi: Now for our present.
Star Otaku: Please, not another musical interlude!
Goku: Nope!
Goku and Chi-Chi are then holding a stack of papers.
Chi-Chi: Recognize these?
Star Otaku: Uh... should I?
Chi-Chi: These are the fanfics that got you all riled up the last time we were here.
Star Otaku: Oh! Why did you guys still keep them?
Goku: Well, it's part of the present!
Chi-Chi: Yeah! And the flame furnace needs a part of this too.
Ami, with realization, leads everyone to the flame furnace. It's just a large furnace with an opening for stoking coals, except this time, it's for stoking flames.
Rillsati: It was getting a bit cold here anyway.
Mary: As much as I love the positive feed-back, we've been running low on flames and we've had to make use of what we had.
Goku and Chi-Chi step up to the open grate.
Rita Lynn: Ah... The fanfic burning! I love it!
Star Otaku and Tokumei Kibon: Throw it in and torch it!
Goku and Chi-Chi nod their heads and fling the papers into the furnace.
Everyone: Burn, baby, burn!
Everyone watches as the defiled papers turn to ashes, and clap now that they're completely disposed of.
Star Otaku: This is the best way I could have ever spend my birthday! Thanks guys!
I'm now fifteen, and I look forward to receiving your birthday wishes in my e-mail box! Oh yeah, the song "Asshole" is sung by Denis Leary, so I don't own it. Although, it is funny! Along with Tragically Hip's "Music @ Work".