Warnings: There are none, just a simple funny story.
Rated: G, no swear words, just Chi Chi hurting some people and Goku blowing stuff up, no real violence though.
Chi Chi walked into the room with a huge smile on her face. “Goku,” she said, “I’m pregnant!”
“You’re what?” asked Goku.
“I’m pregnant,” she replied.
“Yeah, I heard you the first time. But what does it mean?”
“I’m going to have a baby!”
“Oh, wow, good for you! Now can we eat?”
“No! I have way too much on my mind to eat now! I have so many people to call!” She picked up the phone and started dialing numbers rapidly.
“Daddy? Hi, guess what?”
Several Months Later
“Goku....” Chi Chi whined from inside the kitchen.
“Oh, no, not again...” muttered Goku as he got up off the couch and turned off the TV.
“Can you run into the city for me?” Chi Chi asked. “I could really go for a hot fudge sundae from that one restaurant we went to a couple of months ago with Daddy.”
“I’ve got a better idea,” said Goku. “Why don’t we go to the city together?”
“Oh, that would be fun!”
The two of them walked out the door.
“Nimbus!” yelled Goku.
“Oh, do you think it’s safe to go on that thing?” asked Chi Chi.
“Of course it'll be,” said Goku as the little yellow cloud appeared. He hopped up on it, then picked Chi Chi up and set her beside him. He put his arm around her now enormous stomach and they flew off towards the city.
“Mmmm, that sundae was so~o good!” commented Chi Chi.
“You’re telling me!” said Goku as he wiped his face with a napkin, four empty dishes sitting in front of him.
“Oooh... Now I don’t feel so good.”
“Maybe you just didn’t eat enough. I’ll order some more sundaes.”
“No, Goku, that’s all right. I think I just need to go home and get some rest.”
“Okay.”
They got up from the table and started walking towards the door.
“Ow!” Chi Chi cried and doubled over in pain.
“Are you all right, ma’am?” one of the waiters asked.
“I don’t think so...”
“Here, ma’am, please sit down,” said the waiter as he pulled out a chair for her.
Goku just stood there looking confused.
The waiter let Chi Chi hold on to his arm as she slowly sat down in the chair.
“Oooooow!” she screamed again and squeezed the waiter’s arm tightly.
He screamed at the top of his lungs from the pain.
“Chi Chi, what’s wrong?” asked Goku, worried now.
“Goku, I... think... it's-” she gasped and clutched her stomach.
“Chi Chi?” Then he felt his feet getting wet through his shoes. “Aw, Chi Chi, you couldn’t hold it until you got to the bathroom?”
“No Goku, you idiot!” she yelled. “My water broke!”
The waiter was on the floor and crying.
“I’ll call for an ambulance, ma’am,” said another waiter as he rushed to the nearest telephone.
“Will the doctor fix your water?” asked Goku.
“NO, GOKU!” Chi Chi screamed. “I’m having the baby!!”
“Oh, cool!”
After a little while, the waiter was beginning to regain feeling in his arm after Goku pried it free, Chi Chi had broken several of the restaurant’s dishes, and the ambulance had arrived.
The paramedics loaded Chi Chi onto a stretcher and put her into the ambulance. One of them stood by Chi Chi instructing her to breathe. Another turned to Goku. “Are you her husband?” he asked.
“Yeah,” he answered.
“Okay, c’mon,” said the paramedic as he led Goku in the ambulance. “We’ll hurry, that kid could pop out at any moment.”
The ambulance sped off.
A few minutes later, the ambulance slowed down a bit.
“Great...” grumbled the driver.
“What’s wrong?” Goku shouted over his wife’s screams.
“There was an accident up ahead,” said the driver as Goku climbed into passenger seat. “The whole intersection’s plugged up. “We’ll have to turn around and take a detour.”
“Maybe not... Start driving forward again.”
“But sir-”
“Just go,” said Goku. He leaned out the window as the ambulance began to move again. He extended his arm and started firing ki blasts at the piled up cars.
“Sir, what are you doing?!?” shouted the driver, beads of sweat dripping down his forehead. “You could hurt someone!!!”
“No I won’t!” Goku said laughing, and he continued to clear the roadway of the disabled vehicles, sending them flying in every direction.
The ambulance drove on, right to the hospital, where Chi Chi was rushed into the emergency room. Goku followed the stretcher through the halls until a nurse came up and stopped him.
“Are you the father?” she asked.
“Uh...yeah. Wow, I’m a father.”
The nurse plopped a pile of clothes into Goku’s hands. “Here are some scrubs, put them on.”
“I’m a father. I’m a father!!!” he shouted as he ran to the men’s room to change into his scrubs.
Ten Minutes Later
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Chi Chi screamed as she laid on the hospital bed.
“Are you okay, Chi Chi?” asked Goku, standing beside her.
“Do I look like I’m okay?!?” she screamed. “How much longer until this kid comes out?!?!?”
“Not much longer, ma’am,” said the doctor at the end of the bed. “Don’t worry, we have everything under control.”
“Great! Then I can go see what they have at the cafeteria, right?” He turned to leave the room but winced as Chi Chi grabbed hold of his arm.
“Where do you think you’re going, Goku?!?” she yelled.
“Um, nowhere.” He forced a smile.
“Okay Chi Chi, you’re almost finished,” said the doctor.
After a few more minutes, the doctor said, “Okay it’s out! You have a bouncing baby boy!” He turned the baby over to spank him and make him cry.
“What the- Oh my God!!!!!!! He has a... a... TAIL!!!!!!!!” He dropped the baby and ran out of the room screaming.
Goku quickly dove forward and caught the child.
Several nurses saw the tail and screamed. One dropped a tray full of needles on the floor and screamed, “It’s a devil child!!!!!” Then she dropped to the floor and started crying.
“What? WHAT?!?!?!?” Chi Chi shouted.
Goku held the baby out in front of Chi Chi. “Isn’t he cute??”
“My son has a TAIL?!?!?” she screamed.
“Yeah, cool, huh?” asked Goku as Chi Chi fainted. “Hey, he’s kinda gooey,” Goku said to the last remaining nurse. “Ya wanna go wash that off?”
The nurse reached out and took the baby, her hands trembling.
The Next Day
“Man, he sure is cute, isn’t he?” said Goku, standing at the nursery window, looking in on his new son.
“Yeah...” replied his father-in-law standing beside him. “Have you and Chi Chi picked a name for the little guy yet?”
“Uh... no.” He hadn’t even thought about a name for the baby yet.
“Oh, look at the time!” said the Ox King. “I’d better get going. Good luck, Goku!”
“Thanks.” He waved goodbye.
A few minutes later, Chi Chi came walking around the corner.
“Chi Chi! Shouldn’t you be getting some rest?”
“Oh, I just couldn’t stand not to see my baby boy.”
“Your dad said that we should pick a name for him.”
“Yeah... Do you have any ideas?” Chi Chi asked him.
“Not really...” Goku replied.
“Just pick something you like.”
“I like cheeseburgers! Yeah, let’s name him Cheeseburger!”
“Goku! We will not name our son after food!” She thought a little while. “Why don’t we call him Gohan?” she suggested.
“Like my grandpa! That’s perfect!”
“Gohan it is then.”
“You’d better go get some rest, Chi Chi.”
“Okay. Bye Goku, bye Gohan!” She waved to the baby and went back to her room.
Goku stepped up to a nurse walking by and said, “Hey can you let me in there? I want to see my son.”
“Sure.” She opened the door and led Goku into the nursery.
“He’s that one right up in front,” said Goku as he pointed to his son.
“Oh, he’s so cute!” gushed the nurse as she picked him up. Gohan’s tail flopped out underneath him. The nurse screamed and dropped the baby on the floor.
“Hey Gohan,” Goku said, laughing as he picked him up. “Whaddya say we go get some cheeseburgers?”
The End