| You might be a yooper if... Your wife's Lady Remington is a 30-06. Your snowmobile costs more than your kids college education. Your wifes night gown says freds bear archery. You're on a first name basis with the clerk at the Michigan State Unemployment Office. Going south for the winter means going to Escanaba. You think Iron Mountain is a prime example of a big city in urban decay. Your kid "aced" the 3rd grade...on his 9th try. You answer the question "How many yoopers does it take to change a lightbulb?" with "None we don't got electricity." You view working the drive through as an important career advancement. You think that poached eggs means they were stolen from your neighbor's chickens. You think the Board of Education is the paddle the teacher womps your butt with. You know 37 ways to prepare meals from roadkill. Your mosquito repellent doubles as your aftershave. You consider a thunderstorm as a drive thru car wash. You still have all your original teeth, you just keep them on a shelf. Your new goose down pillow was migrating south yesterday. You fertilize the lawn by letting cows out of the barn. You consider a six pack of beer and a bug zapper quality entertainment. You see no reason to stop at a rest stop because you have a milk jug in the car. You consider velcro to be high tech. You think the National Anthem ends with "Gentlemens, start your engines". You see a sign that says "Say No To Crack" and it reminds you to pull up your pants. You fart in public and blame your kid. You time your belches to achieve a personal best. You proposed at Bubba's bait shop. Your greatest accomplishment is the 10 pound turnip you grew. You go to the laundromat just to watch TV. You ask for the honeymoon suite at Motel 6. Your pink flamingo in your front lawn is full of buckshot. |
| Yooper Jokes |