|
|
DIRGE (C) VS. ALEX LAYNE |
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall ...and is for the RAWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! introducing first ...the illustrious champion... from Las Vegas, Nevada.... weighing 390 pounds .... your Radical American Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOOOOORRLLLD......DIRGE !
Stronger than lies
The only truth I know
Is the look in your eyes
Levitan: And his opponent ... from Birmingham, Alabama.... weighing 258 pounds ... this is ALEX LAYNE!!
Can you feel I'm not like you anymore
I can't see I can't breath
See you quiver like the dogs on the streets
Looking down on as I beat you
Brad: Dirge, the seemingly inconquerable champion with another title defense. This is his toughest challenge, in my opinion...
Doc: Alex Layne is formidable, but they don't come no more formidable than Dirge!
Brad: "Don't come no more formidable?" Watch the double negatives, Doc.
Doc: I never said I was an English professor, and the only thing I'm going to watch is a hell of a World Title Match!
As the match starts, Dirge charges and the quicker Layne tries to use his evasiveness to keep away from the monster, but Dirge grabs him with his big paw, and downs him with a short arm clothesline. Getting Layne to his feet, he throws him into the corner and starts wailing away with thunderous rights and lefts, buckling the challenger's knees. Practically throwing him, Dirge whips him into the opposite corner, and runs in with a clothesline, nearly bending him over the top turnbuckle. Chopping him several times, Dirge decides to dump him over the ropes, which Layne lands on his feet on the apron. Seeing that Alex didn't tumble to the ground, Dirge steps over to thump him with clothesline, when Layne stops him with a jab to the face. Looking at him like he just killed his best friend, Dirge starts to swing again, but Layne uses the ropes to launch himself into the ring, up and over Dirge, and executes a sunset flip to put the champ in a pinning predicament...1-power kickout! Layne gets up before Dirge and punches the champ repeatedly as Dirge gets to his feet. The World champ shrugs off the blows, blasts Layne with a forearm, grabs him in a choke and starts to pick him up, when Alex jumps up with the momentun, and counters with a standing dropkick, breaking Dirge's hold on him. Running the ropes, he leapfrogs the champ. Instead of continuing to run, as the fans and Dirge had expected, Alex just lands on his feet, turns around, jumps on Dirge's back, and applies the...
Brad: Laynemission! The Laynemission! Can Dirge counter that highly effective submission hold?
Doc: I know that this is cliche, but if anybody can do it, it's the World champ. It's still early in the match, I expect him to power out of this!
roving to be prophetic words, Dirge, in obvious pain, walks slowly to the ropes, with Layne on his back choking him out, and he grabs the ropes. The referee calls for the break, and Layne drops off of his back, blasts him with a couple of forearms to the back, grabs him around the waist, and German suplexes the champ. Bridging up, he tries to make the early pin...1-2-kickout! Dirge gets to his feet, deflects a dropkick attempt, fires Layne into the ropes and flapjacks him. Not taking advantage at the time, Dirge shakes off the damage absorbed earlier and collects himself. Layne gets to his feet, runs at Dirge, leaps up, and tries to hit a hurricanrana. Dirge, however, steps up to meet him before he can flatten out and start the leg scissors, grabs him by the throat, and chokeslams him...1-2-kickout! Dirge picks him up by his hair, and applies a tremendous side suplex that shakes the ring. He goes for another cover...1-2-kickout. Slamming a few more fists into Alex's face, the champ picks him up and props him on the top turnbuckle. Dirge mounts the second rope. Cinching him up for a superplex, Dirge tries to pick him up, but Layne throws him off, sending Dirge crashing to the mat! Quickly getting to a vertical base from the top turnbuckle, Layne leaps off and hits a missile dropkick, hooking the leg and making the cover as fast as he can...1-2-power kickout!
Doc: That was close...these guys are taking tremendous punishment and still pulling out powerful maneuvers. That is what it is all about...who wants it the most, who can take the most...who can dish out the most...
Doc: The RAWF World Title...it means excellence...if you can't give as good as you can take, don't bother walking down that aisle! Look, Layne just hit the champ with a brainbuster! Another cover...Dirge up at two!
Layne picks up the champ, who promptly grabs him and nails a reverse atomic drop. With ferocity, Dirge whips Alex into the corner where he collides hard into...the ref! The official goes down like a sack of potatoes, and Layne loks over at the collapsed figure, and looks over Dirge. Dirge looks over at the referee, then at the challenger. When they make eye contact, they both smile cruelly, then head out of the ring in opposite directions. Each man grabs a chair and gets back into the squared circle. At the same time, they swing with everything they have, and connect at the same time! Both men stagger back, take a step forward, then connect again! Blood comes down in rivulets from both men's heads. They swing again, and Alex falls to the mat. Dirge takes a few steps with satfsfaction, holds up the chair, then collapses!
Brad: Well, there you have it..both competitors, and the official, all collapsed in the ring...while they are taking a nap, the fans are bound to get restless.
Doc: Are you kidding me? This is great! Everyone is getting their fair share of the beating...what more can anyone ask?
Dirge starts to stir and get back to his feet. Layne also gets to his feet, but he crawls over to the ropes and picks himself up with a little help. Dirge gets to him and connects with a diamond cutter. He goes for the pin...............Dirge realizes that the ref is still out so he picks the ref up and shakes him violently, occasionally slapping him. As the official comes back to consciousness...Alex hits a stinger splash on Dirge from behind, causing Dirge's body to smash into the ref, who impacts on the turnbuckles, sending him back out. Layne then grabs Dirge by the back oh the head and tosses him outside the ring. Mounting the tope rope, the challenger hits a moonsault on Dirge, who was just getting back to his feet. Layne gets Dirge back to his feet, and tries to smash the champs head into the Spanish announcer's table. Blocking that move, Dirge grabs Alex's head and smashes it into the table. Getting him back up, Dirge powerbombs the challenger onto the table, breaking it in the process. With Layne lying in a heap, Dirge walk over to Doc and Brad's table, grabs their water pitcher, drinks some, then walks over to the corner where the official lays, and dumps the rest of it on him. Reviving again, Dirge slaps hima little for good measure, and asks him if he is able to make a count...the ref shakes his head yes, and starts getting to his feet. Dirge turns around and gets a face full of bell. As the "ding" reverberates, Dirge's legs start to buckle. Layne tosses him back into the ring and slowly climbs the ropes. As he gets to the top rope, he discovers that Dirge has gotten up and decided to grab him. Trying to launch him across the ring, Dirge discovers that he is still feeling the effects of the bell, and manages only a meager toss...Alex hits the mat, but he rolls with it, and is only marginally hurt by it. Getting to his feet, the challenger stares at the champ, and they move forward to lock up...
Doc: Like a couple of gunslingers, they are meeting in the center of twon to decide who is best! I have to say, I have enjoyed this...look at them, bloodied, beaten, and begging for more!
Brad: Alex did a nice job going with that throw...Dirge didn't get everything on that, and Layne went with what was given him...
Locking up, Dirge pushes Layne back in the ropes, then punches him in the face. Staggering around Layne sees Dirge charging, Alex ducks, and Dirge plasters the ref with a clothesline, sending him down! Another ref starts running down the ramp, and he hops on the apron just long enough to see Layne's body come hurling toward him as Dirge had Irish-whipped him into the ropes. Alex connects with the official, and he flies off the apron, hitting the arena floor hard! The second official stays down. As Alex stops due to the ref halting his momentum, Layne charges forward, leap frogs Dirge, runs the ropes, ducks a clothesline, runs the ropes again, and tries a high cross body, which Dirge catches Layne in mid-air and hits a fallaway slam. Getting Layne to his feet, he scoops him up and nails a spinning tombstone piledriver. The champion starts to make the cover, but realizes that there are no refs around with the ability to make a count...until he sees another ref emerge from the back. Racing down, the official slides under the ropes and starts "slapping the mat"...1-2----kickout!
Doc: Oh, come on! That ref took a two hours waddling himself down to ringside. If he had gotten there in a timely fashion, Dirge would've won the match!
Brad: That man is not at fault...he didn't knock those other guys out! This is just bad luck! Layne is hurt, so Dirge could get a victory here, soon...
Dirge mutters to himself as he gets teh challenger to a vertical base. Giving Alex a headbutt, he follows up with a boot to the stomach, then a forearm to the back. Finally, Dirge puts Layne is a pedigree position, but Alex, with extreme effort and willpower, back body drops the 390 pound beast. clutching at his back in pain, he turns around and faces the champ as he gets to his feet. The challenger hits Dirge several times with punches, sends a back kick into his gut, nails a Russian leg sweep, then runs the ropes and drops an elbow. Running the ropes again, he drops a knee, which is then followed up with a fist drop from the second rope. He makes the cover...1-2---kickout! Helping Dirge to his feet, he hits a reverse DDT, and makes a cover again...1-2---kickout! Getting up, he runs the ropes and drops a leg, then cinches up a cross knee chinlock. The champ stays trapped for several minutes in pain, but submitting is not in Dirge's vocabulary, and he powers out of the hold, but it was taxing. The two men get to their feet, and Layne hip-tosses Dirge. Dirge gets to his feet, and is hip-tossed again. Dirge charges a third time, expecting an attempted hip-toss, but this time he is arm-dragged, and that is turned into an armbar. The champion calmly punches Layne in the mouth, breaking the hold. Getting to his feet, Dirge shows the fans that he has more left in the tank when he gouges Layne's eyes, then Gorilla presses him, dropping him to the mat. Dirge drops down and makes the cover...1-2---kickout! Getting to his feet again, he Gorilla presses Layne a second time, this time slamming the challenger down as opposed to just dropping him. The champ makes the cover...1-2---foot on the ropes! Dirge punches him, hooks the leg, and makes the cover again...1-2--kickout! Deciding to wear him down some more, the champ gets him to a vertical base, then punches, kicks, and chops Layne down to the mat. Letting him get back up, he chops Alex, who gets mad and chops him back. Not believing that Layne had anything left to give, he stands there stunned as Layne chops him some more. Having had enough, Dirge drives a knee into the challenger's abdomen. Shooting him into the ropes, Dirge picks him up and heaves him in the air, letting the momentum help him get extra lift on the challenger. Layne drops straight down. Cinching him up again, Dirge connects with a belly to back lifting mat slam. Letting out a primal scream, Dirge signals that it is all over. Climbing to the top rope, the RAWF Heavyweight champion jumps and performs his 180 flip Guillotine legdrop called the Nevada Nightmare. Unfortunately for Dirge, Alex got out of the way at the last moment, and the big man crashes down, hurting his leg. Layne gets up and starts stomping the hurt limb.
Brad: Ooooooohhh...Dirge nearly had a successful defense in his grasp! Layne did the only thing he could to stay in the match!
Doc: If the big man gets up from that botched move...it is OVER! Layne moved at the last split...and I mean SPLIT second! He was that close to losing, and if Dirge gets up, Layne will still be that close to losing!
Brad: Dirge is what we call a "closer." If the match is in reach, he can close it out and get the win. Layne is fighting like hell, th---What is Layne doing now? He is going to the top rope...that was the mistake that got Dirge into trouble!
Alex waits until Dirge is on his feet, and sends him crashing down with a missile dropkick! Using nearly the rest of his energy reserves, Layne wraps his arms around the Heavyweight champion and applies a belly to belly suplex! Dirge stays down, and the crowd gets to its feet and cheers. With electricity seemingly crackling in th air, the challenger makes the sign for the SLS, and the fans explode in applause. Getting to their feet, and hoping to see what they have ben praying to see since Eruption, the fans witness Layne help Dirge to his feet, and, with the last of his reserves, perform the Slammin' Layne Style slam. Pictures go off, some fans start to weep with tears of joy, the challenger makes the cover...one!----two!----threeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
Doc: I'm dreaming...I didn't just see Dirge get pinned did I?
Brad: If you are dreaming, then so am I...my God...WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!!!! Dirge is defeated! Dirge is defeated! Dirge has been BEATEN!!!!!
Doc: You don't have to be so happy about it! Oh, no...Layne is the champ...Nooooooooo....Dirge get up, let's restart the match...anything!
RADICAL AMERICAN WRESTLING FEDERATION HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: ALEX LAYNE!!!! |
Brad: Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a new RAWF World Heavyweight Champion!!! The crowd is stunned and excited all at the same time!! I don't know how this night could get any better!!
Doc: I don't know how it could get any worse!!! Damage INC. has been screwed three times now!! It's a consipacy I tell you! I'm going to talk to...
Leading you down into my core
Where I've become so numb.."
Fat Kid: That spells Adz!
The fans erupt with cheers as they realise that Adz has joined RAWF. Then, ironically, Adz steps out onto the stage, and the fans cheer even more.
Brad: Oh my god, it�s Adz! ADZ HAS ARRIVED IN RAWF!!
Doc: I can�t believe this!! Why me God??
Adz walks slowly to ringside acknowledging the cheers he is receiving. He slides into the ring and gets a mic. His music fades to silence, but the fans are still cheering, and do so for a further few minutes. Chants of WsW are heard, some asshole chants as well (obviously these people know Adz out of character as well). Adz waits for silence, which he gets, then begins to speak�
Adz: Howdy all!
The fans cheer and chant is name.
Adz: I haven�t been seen in the wrestling world for three whole months, not since I was in the old HSW, but I am back, better than ever.
The fans cheer louder.
Adz: So why did I come here to RAWF? Did I come here for the wrestling? For the fans? For the sex? For the monkeys? Well, erm, yeah� I came here for all of those things!
The crowd laughs and continues chanting his name.
Adz: Those of you who don�t know me, will be looking at me and thinking, what an idiot, he�s obviously got an IQ less than the amount of times Alex Layne�s mom has slept with a sheep. Well, you may be right, very, very right, but I am also one hell of a wrestler. Just look at me, made out of muscle, made out of steel, I�m a machine, a human wrecking machine. Winning is in my blood, it comes naturally to me, I�m even good at every sport. I can score a basket in football with my eyes closed, I�m just that good at winning.
Fans laugh at Adz.
Doc: What a dumb idiot!!
Brad: So he's not a sports buff. Quit name calling and let him talk.
Adz: What? I�m not joking, anyway, so what do I want to do here in RAWF, besides wrestle and make silly little insults up for my opponents? I�m here for gold, quite simple. I wouldn�t join this company, or any company for that matter, if I didn�t want to win the big one, the title that everybody wants. Everybody wants the title, but only one person can have it. And I sure hope it is me that captures that women�s title.
Another fat kid shouts out�
Fat Kid: We don�t have a women�s title�
Adz looks disappointed.
Adz: Oh, well, I�m going to have to go for another title. You know what, I�ll make do with the world title, yeh, that�s the belt I want.
The fans cheer and start an Adz chant. Adz smiles.
Adz: So Dirge, Alex Layne, Big Kahuna, Ryne Blood, whoever the champ is when the time comes, I�m coming for that World Title� and fans, I may have joked a lot in my lifetime, but this time, it�s no joke!
The fans cheer as Adz drops his mic and leaves the ring and walks back up the ramp. Either they�re pleased to see him go, or they�re pleased that Adz has joined RAWF. Let�s hope it�s the latter�
Brad: What a night this has been!!! Things are sooooo looking up!!
Doc: Yeah ....right. UPCHUCK is more like it.
Doc: Wise and Higgerson aren't two words that are normally associated with each other. But even Matt "Daddy" knows that when an opponent has a soft spot, you attack it and KEEP attacking it.
Levitan: And his opponent ... from Detroit, Michigan.... weighing 235 pounds .... MATT HIGGERSON!
Doc: Any other athlete might of bowed out from this match, but not DK, I'll give him credit for having guts.
The two competitors lock up. DK pushes the shorter Higgerson into the corner and wallops him with a punch to the face. He hits him again, but Matt turns the table, grabbing DK and pushing him back, then stepping aside and shoving the Deadman into the corner. Higgesosn hits him with a knife edge chop that sends spittle spraying out of DK's mouth. Higgerson rams a knee to DK's gut, then another. He whips the Englishman into the opposite corner, then charges after him. He hits DK with a turnbuckle clothesline and the big man staggers a few steps out of the corner. Higgerson grabs him by the back of his pants and plants a punch right to the kidney. DK grimaces and falls to his knees. Matt grabs him in a chinlock and pulls back hard. DK growls and reaches up, trying to grab for hair. The referee warns him and he lets go. DK eventually works his way to one knee and drives an elbow into Matt's gut. Another elbow and Higgerson lets go. DK gets to his feet and grabs Matt by the ears and gives him a headbutt. Higgerson spins around and staggers away. DK grabs him by arm and lifts him backwards over his shoulders and hits a samoan drop. Matt cries out in pain, bridging up his back off the mat. DK drops and elbow to Matt's chest, then gets up and does another elbow drop. He stands up and glares at the fans who give him a mixed reaction of boos and cheers. He grabs Matt by the hair and hauls him to his feet. He nails him with a few roundhouse punches, then whips Matt into the ropes. Matt tries a Thesz Press on the return, but DK catches him and turns it into a modified powerbomb.
Brad: DK doing a good job of keeping Higgerson off balance!
Doc: Hard to believe ANYONE could have a problem with THAT in the first place...
Brad: Doc, don't you have ANYTHING positive to say about Matt "Daddy"??
Doc: He's positively the worst...
Brad: Forget it. I should know better than to ask.
DK drags Higgerson to his feet and clocks him with a stiff right hand to the face. Higgerson weakly tries to fire back, but DK shrugs it off. DK hits him again and Matt staggers away into the ropes. DK grabs him by the hair and rubs Matt's face along the ropes, Matt grabs his eyes and staggers away again. Deadman grabs him and turns him around. He gives him a piledriver and makes a cover. 1...2...kickout by Higgerson. DK starts to pull Matt to his feet, but Higgerson drives a shoulder into DK's injured ribs. The crowd responds to this, giving Matt encouragement. Matt does it again and DK doubles over, obviously pained, gasping for air. Matt stands up and executes a vertical suplex on DK. Matt pauses, catching a breather as DK clutches his back and tries to get up. Higgerson stands up and kicks DK in the ribs several times. He picks the Deadman up and whips him into the ropes, bearhugging him on the return. DK's face turns beet red and he grits his teeth. Higgerson squeezes for all he's worth. DK rakes Higgerson in the eyes, breaking the hold.
But the pain is too much for DK and he slumps to his knees, holding his ribs. Higgerson clears his vision and and kicks DK in the ribs again. He pulls the Englishman to his feet and with a tremendous effort gives him a belly-to-belly suplex!!
Doc: Deadman is a tough guy and all, but even HE can't take much more punishment to those ribs!
Brad: Higgerson wrestling a very smart match here. He covers! One.....Two....THREE! NO! The ref says only two, DK got a shoulder up a split second before the three apparently.
Higgerson, undaunted, gets up and climbs to the second turnbuckle. When DK stumbles to his feet, Matt leaps ....DK catches him in mid-air and holds him there, grimacing in pain, but manages to give him a backbreaker! Higgerson hits the canvas and rolls over on his side, clutching his back. DK takes a few seconds to try to shrug off the pain in his body, then goes on a fierce stomping spurt. About a dozen times he stomps on Higgerson's back and shoulders before backing off when the ref tell him to stop because Matt is under the ropes. DK pushes past the ref and plants one boot on Matt's back, then grabs the ropes and uses them to propel himself up. He comes down hard on Higgerson's back with a huge stomp. He pulls Matt to his feet and wallops him with three punishing shots to the chest, then whips him into the ropes and gives him a thunderous clothesline on the return. DK executes a legdrop and covers 1....2...kickout by Higgerson. DK slowly and gingerly rises, then picks Matt up and with a painful effort, lifts him up and executes a gutwrench suplex! He rises again and drags Matt to his feet. He whips him into the ropes and delivers a big boot to the face on the return. Higgerson falls over like an oak tree and returns once more to the mat.
Doc: HA HA! Looks like I sold DK too short. He seems to have shrugged off his pain and is now showing us what he's REALLY made of!
Brad: DK drops to his knees, then covers Higgerson. ONE....TWO.... Matt got a shoulder up! Both men have taken some brutal shots here tonight but keep coming back for more!
The fans try to energize Higgerson by chanting his name. DK snarls at the crowd, then gets up and puts the boots to Matt's head a few times. He picks him up, whips him into the corner. Higgerson's back hits the turnbuckles, but he bounces out and takes two dazed steps forward, before his face meets DK's boot once again. Higgerson careens to the canvas one more time. DK picks Higgerson up and tosses him through the ropes and outside the ring. DK climbs out after the motionless Matt. He grabs Levitan's chair and stands ready, waiting for Matt to rise. When he does, DK plants him with the steel chair, right across the face. Matt hits the concrete as if shot from a cannon, a trickle of blood can be seen starting to run off his forehead and into his eyes. DK picks him up and grabs him by the back of the head, then rams him into the steel post. The crowd groans as Matt's cranium makes a dull ringing sound on the post. DK catches him before he falls and throws him back into the ring. DK gets up on the ring apron and climbs to the top rope! He waits like a bird of prey as Higgerson stumbles and wobbles to his feet ...no clue whatsoever where he is. DK leaps for a flying clothesline attempt.....but at the last split second Higgerson ducks and DK flies over him and hits the canvas with a huge BOOM! Higgerson goes stumbling to the ropes and rests against them to get his bearings. Both men are out of sorts for several moments before Higgerson bounces off the ropes and tries for a splash. DK instinctively raises his knees and Higgerson's stomach hits them. The air rushes from Matt's lungs and he rolls off of DK, desperately trying to breath.
Brad: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! A bad decision by Higgerson!
Doc: You sound suprised....
Both men are slow to get up, but they both do. DK slugs Higgerson across the face. Higgerson swings wildly back, and connects with a haymaker that spins DK's head to the side. DK shakes it off and kicks Matt in the groin. Higgerson doubles over and DK picks him up for a tombstone piledriver. But as he he gets him up in position....Matt bridges back and the two flip...reversing positions! Higgerson nails the tombstone on DK!! The crowd goes nuts! Higgerons responds to them, looking out among them and throwing his fist in the air. He picks up the Deadman and gives him The Matt Daddy Drop!!! He covers! The ref counts 1....2....3!!!
The camera switches to the lavishly decorated interview area. Behind Angie and Jessica are huge purple and gold velvet curtains embroidered with the Triple Crown logo.
Jessica: Angie, it's a pleasure to meet you. Welcome to Triple Crown!
Angie: Thank you Jessica, it's a pleasure to be here and see the RAWF live and in person.
Jessica: I know I speak for all of us here at RAWF when we say we are very pleased to be part of the X-Net Wrestling Network.
Angie: Well thank you Jess, and on behalf of all of us at X-Net, we are very happy and excited that RAWF is part of our family. And I'd also like to congratulate the new RAWF World Heavyweight Champion Alex Layne on his huge victory this evening.
Jessica: Tell us a little bit about Tuffgirl Designs if you would.
Angie: Well Jess, Tuffgirl Designs specializes in...
Suddenly from stage left, Pickle interrupts the ladies, bursting in and getting in front of Angie, blocking our view of her from the camera.
Pickle: Hey, what the hell is this?? Why are we wasting time talking about some women's company when what we should REALLY be talking about is how I'M going to win the Triple Crown later tonight!!
Jessica: Pickle, I can interview you later if you want, but right now.... I mean...THIS IS OUR SPONSER!
Pickle: Sponser? So I'm supposed to bow or something??
Angie raises and eyebrow and gives him a look that could melt glass.
Pickle: Hey Miss SPONSER! Maybe when we're all done here tonight, maybe I'll give you the time of day, but why don't you go back to your powder room and let me...
At that moment, from the opposite side, Adz walks in. Pickle backs up a step when he enters. Adz gets right in his face.
Adz: I may be new around here, but I'll bet this interview is more important to Miss Beach than you or you're Double Derby.
Pickle looks a bit confused for a second, then it dawns on him.
Pickle: You idiot, it's the TRIPLE CROWN! And who the hell are you to interrupt MY interview? You think because you're name is well known you can come here and do whatever you want?
Adz: Well ....yes as a matter of fact. Or no ....whichever. All I know is these lovely ladies were trying to conduct an interview and YOU weren't invited.
The two wrestlers stare at each other for a few tense moments while Jess and Angie look on nervously.
Pickle: Watch your back pal. This isn't over by a long shot.
Pickle turns around and leaves. Adz gives the girls a smile and also exits.
Jessica: Errr...I apologize for that Angie ...and unfortunatley, we have to get back to the show. Thank you and I hope we will see you again soon.
Angie: And thank YOU Jess. It's been....fun.
The camera switches back to ringside.
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall ... introducing first ... from Scunthorpe, England.... weighing 288 pounds ... this is DEADMAN K !!
"Immortal" by Adema plays as DK strolls out from the entryway. He walks a bit stiffly due to heavily taped ribs under his ring attire, but still casts an ominous presence as he makes his way down to the ring and slowly climbs in.
Brad: Those ribs still seem to be bothering Deadman a bit Doc. Could be a bit of a disadvantage. Higgerson would be wise to exploit that weakness.
"Never Gunna Stop" by Rob Zombie blasts and the crowd gives Matt a great ovation as he struts out of the entryway and down to the ring...... he climbs in and acknowledges the fans with a few poses while DK looks on, his face a mask of apathy.
Brad: DK is really going to have to protect those ribs. And he's going to have to try to keep his breathing as even as possible.
Doc: Were those pigs I saw flying??
Brad: Lets go back to the interview area where we have a very special guest! She is Co-Founder of the X-Net Network, and also President of Tuffgirl Designs, which of course is the official sponser of tonight's Pay-Per-View! Jessica Beach is with Angie! Take it away Jessica!
INEVITABLES VS. JAREK MAGNUM & SHAWN DEE (C)
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the RAWF Tag Team championship of the World ... introducing first, the challengers ... from Parts Unknown.... weighing a combined weight of 611 pounds .... They are DEATH AND TAXES...THE INEVITABLES!
The lights go out. There is silence. A single green spotlight hits the entry way and Taxes walks out as �Mister Scary� by Dokken blasts from the loudspeakers. He walks down to the bottom of the ramp and looks around. He turns around and slams his hands on the ring apron three or four times. The fourth time his hands hit the ring, the green spot that has followed him all the way to the ring goes out. The place goes dark, a single blood red spotlight hits the top of the ramp and Death appears at the top of the ramp way.
I'm not alone
I wonder if these heavy eyes
Could face the unknown
Brad: The former tag champs have been waiting for this moment ever since they lost the straps. They look ready, they look large, and I wouldn't want to be a part of Damage, Inc right now...
Doc: I would. If I were Dee or Magnum, that would mean I was carrying around championship gold. Speaking of the champions...
Levitan: And their opponents ... from the great cities of Sunset Beach, California and Atlanta, Georgia, respectively .... weighing a combined weight of 531 pounds ... this are the Radical American Wrestling Federation's Tag Team Champions of the World...SHAWN DEE, JAREK MAGNUM...DAMAGE INCORPORATED !!
I am stripped of all but pride
So in her I do confide
And she keeps me satisfied
Gives me all I need
Took away my hunger, but didn't give me greed
Made me successful, when I just wanted to be heard
Give me the light, cause all I need is the word
Doc: Look at those two cool customers. They are strolling down to the ring like they don't have a care in the world...I know they are the champs...but, they are facing two brutes in Death and Taxes!
Brad: Something isn't right, here...I don't like this...
Dee and Magnum stop before just before getting to the ring. They nod at Dan Levitan, who clears his throat, and makes another announcement...
Levitan: Now introducing the special guest referee...
Brad and Doc: WHAT?!
Levitan: the Commissioner of RAWF...THOMAS HIGHWAY!!!!!
When there's one day here and the next day gone
Sometimes you bend sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind
Kit: I'll call security and have him removed.
Vice: No, not yet...I think everything is going to work out. Let's just see what happens.
Kit: This is your mess if it goes badly, remember that. If it goes badly...I'll remember who helped cause it.
Back at ringside, Doc and Brad discuss the current situation...
Brad: This is ridiculous...why didn't they just announce that Dee and Magnum have successfully defended their titles?? Why bother with the match?
Doc: Hey, Taxes started all of this with what he thought was a cutesy little joke that costs Highway some money. I don't know about YOU, but if someone costs ME money, I'd be mad as hell. I'd be out for revenge...so I don't give a damn what the Commish does to these jokers, they did it to themselves!
Brad: That is such bull*bleep*! Whatever happened to fairness in the ring? If he was trying to get one over on the I.R.S., he should've been man enough to take the consequences should they arose...which they did!
Doc: We could go back and forth about what these guys have been doing to each other...but right now we have a match to call, and the Commish/Ref has called for the bell!!
The tag champs storm the ring, and get promptly thrown out by the bigger challengers. Highway admonishes them immediately, and threatens to disqualify them right then and there. A security detail of four men come down the ramp, and the commissioner points those men out to the Inevitables..."Touch me, you will lose your title shot, and these four men will make sure you lose more than that...understand?" With security in place for Highway, he orders the challengers into their corner. Damage Inc, then get to their corner, and Highway calls for the bell. Taxes starts off for the Ineviatbles, since Death had a match and is a little worse for wear. Dee starts out for the tag champs, for the same reason...Magnum wrestled earlier. Taxes and Dee lock up, and Taxes gets the better end of the deal, slipping the lock up, and clamping on a headlock. Highway yells at Taxes for applying a "choke," and starts a count...1-2-3-4-Taxes releases the headlock, shaking his head. Locking back up with Dee, Shawn puts a knee in his groin, and applies a "front face lock," which suspiciously looks like a blatant chokehold. Highway allows it, even with Taxes gestures of protest. Death storms the ring, and the commissioner heads him off, yelling a great deal. Taxes gets the business end of a double team, as Dee pushes him up in the air, and Magnum jumps in and hits a stunner on the fall. Both men stomp away, as Highway starts talking about the weather to Death. Acting like he is about to get back on the apron, Death gets halfway through the ropes, then quickly "about faces," blows past Highway, and clubs both Dee and Magnum down with clotheslines. He drags Taxes back to his corner while Highway makes the five-count...1-2-3-4-Death is back on the apron. As Taxes tags Death, Highway turns the other way, "yelling" at Magnum to get out of the ring. Death hits the ring with a busrt of energy. He picks Dee up and bodyslams him, then performs a standing legdrop. Highway yells furiously, saying that he didn't see the tag. Death lets him know what he thought of that decision, and gets out at the count of four. Dee locks back up with Taxes, whips him into the ropes, and hits a spinebuster. As Taxes stands back up, Dee cinches him up for a slingshot suplex, but Taxes stops it, picks Dee up, and slingshot suplexes him.
Brad: What a fighting spirit by the Inevitables! It looks like there is no way they can prevail, but they still fight. Most men would've walked away and demanded that Vice give them a fair shot in the future. I wonder why Vice does nothing now?
Doc: Maybe Taxes cost Vice some money, too. Who knows, who cares...you have to appreciate the deviousness of this match.
Brad: No, I don't...
Doc: Get over it...I'm sure the Inevitables will get another shot some day...but this is what is called "payback." Although, Inevitables don't look so bad right now.
Taxes continues his assault. Grabbing Shawn, he headbutts him, then connects with a brainbuster suplex. The Inevitable goes for a pin..........Highway out of position, finally starts a count....1-kickout! Taxes whips Dee into the corner, where Death hammers him with a forearm. Holding him in the corner, Death waits for Taxes to get to him before releasing the grip. Highway demands that the match start back up in the middle of the ring, since "Death broke half the rules in the book." The lockup in the center of the ring sees Dee getting the edge, and he whips Taxes into the ropes, hitting him with a shoulderblock, but it doesn't put "1040" down. He runs the ropes again, and this time, the shoulderblock knocks him to the mat. Shawn makes a cover, Highway makes a fast count...1-2-kickout! Taxes asks him what the hell that was all about, but all the beefing gets him is decked by Dee. Shawn whips him into the Damage Inc. corner, and makes the tag to Magnum. Jarek gets in, scoops him up, and demonstrates the proper backbreaker technique on Taxes. The crowd grows more livid by the second by the foolishness of Highway and this match. Jarek applies a swinging full nelson that he ends up turning into a full nelson slam. Another cover, another fast count...1-2-kickout! As Taxes tries to get to Death, Magnum intercept him, while Dee runs over and clocks Death with a closed fist. Highway starts a slow five count...1----------2----------3--------Dee gets back to his corner. Jarek puts Taxes into a position for a piledriver, but Death comes in with a big boot, knocking Magnum back and off of Taxes. Highway orders Death out, and Taxes walks over and makes the tag to Death. At the moment of the tag, Highway turns around, and informs them that he didn't see a tag. Magnum grabs Taxes' arm and whips him away from his corner. Dee comes in, picks up his running foe, and hits a reverse atomic drop. Taces ignore the pain, punches Shawn, turns around, punches Jarek, whips him into Dee, then collapses, crawling toward his corner. Taxes makes another tag, but Highway is too busy checking on the condition of the tag champs...
Brad: Would Vice get out here? What about Kit? Why is this allowed, I really don't understand this travesty!
Doc: Have you been paying attention lately? If you have the power to even the score with somebody...or get ahead of the game...wouldn't you take it?
Death and Taxes finally had enough. Ignoring Highway, the two Inevitables attack Magnum and Dee, and the four competitors get into a real donnybrook. As the scrum goes back and forth, with the Inevitables and Damage Inc. trading shots, chops and holds, Thomas gleefully calls for the bell. Dan Levitan makes the announcement...
Levitan: Ladies and Gentlemen, as a result of a no contest, we have...
Highway discusses something with Levitan, and he makes another announcement...
Levitan: The winners of this match, as a result of a disqualification...Shawn Dee, Jarek Magnum, Damage Incorporated!
Back in Kit's office, the owner is not happy!
Kit: This is what you wanted me to see? The Inevitables getting screwed on pay-per-view by our commissioner? This isn't looking good for you...
Vice: Stay with me on this one...don't worry, the Inevitables are still very much in the tag title picture...let's just keep watching...
During the course of the melee, Jarek and Shawn roll out of the ring. Getting their RAWF World Tag belts, they start up the ramp, laughing as they walk. They pat their belts, and hold them up in a taunting fashion. After a couple of moments of celebration, the tag champs disappear, as Death and Taxes challenge them to get back in the ring. Swearing, the Inevitables turn their attention from Damage Inc, to Thomas Highway. Looking at his help, the four security men storm the ring and get inbetween Highway and the Inevitables. Highway himself starts to laugh, much in the same way Dee and Magnum did...
Doc: Look, they got their payback now...everything should be square. If they leave now, and don't do anything stupid, I think this could all blow over!
Brad: Would YOU let this blow over...seriously...if you were them, would you just, "forget about it?" Hold on, why is the crowd cheering?
Emerging from the cheering crowd is Danny Szatkowski! Leaping over the security railing, Danny leaps onto the apron, and enters the ring. Standing alongside the Inevitables, the three wrestlers face off with the four security guards. Chester, the lead guard, tell his buddy, Burt to calm down. Chester walks up to Taxes and has a little converstation...
Chester: Taxes...I can't let you do attack him like this...so, I'm going to have to take my detail, leave, and let you do it properly!
Taxes: You're leaving? Am I hearing you right?
Chester: Yeah, you heard me. The boys and I have just accepted an offer for a new job in Vegas...at that new casino called the "Roller Coaster." We are the newest addition to their security force, and our boss, the High Roller sends his regards!
Chester hands him a cigar case full of some nice Cubans. Taxes grins under his mask, and watches with satisfaction as Chester, Burt, and the other two guards leave the ringside area. Highway watches in horror as they leave the ringside area.
Highway: What are you doing? Where are you going? You are FIRED!....No, wait...come back...I'll give you a raise!
Death, Taxes, and Szatkowski stop watching the guards, and turn to face Highway. You don't have to be a lip reader to understands the commsissioner when he says, "Oh..s***." Taxes drops the cigar case, charges and clotheslines Highway as he hold up his arms in surrender. All three men starts stomping away. Danny picks him up, hits an "x-factor," climbs the ropes, and nails a shooting star press. The Inevitables then drop double elbows. Death picks his carcass off the mat and grabs him around the waist, elevating Highway slightly higher than his own head. Taxes runs the ropes, then clotheslines Death out of his grip. Danny climbs the ropes again, and hits a big splash. Medical personal start coming to ringside with a gurney. Laying the commissioner horizontally and diagonally across the top turnbuckles, Death and Taxes start unleshing a horrific beating while Danny kees the medical staff at bay. Szatkowski, taking his turn, starts laying the lumber to Highway as Taxes keeps watch. Dragging the Commish to the middle of the ring, Danny decks him, dropkicks him, then slaps on a sharpshooter. Screaming in pain, Highway doesn't have to worry about it long as Death drops a leg from the top rope while Highway was still loked in the Sharpshooter. "Tagging off" to Taxes, Szatkowski and Death stop the beating and allow Taxes to put Highway on the top turnbuckle. Shortly thereafter, Taxes hits the Audit, while Danny lights up one of the cigars. Death slaps on a full nelson, and hold the unconscious commisiioner up, while Taxes talks to him. Taxes loosens his mask, but doesn't take it off, gets the cigar from Danny, takes a puff, then blows smoke in Highway's face.
Taxes: Hey, Highway. Learn to stay in the office where you belong. If you put your nose in our business...beatings like this will become...Inevitable!
Taxes takes another drag on the big cigar, picks up Highway's right arm, then puts the cigar out on it. The three men then stomp away some more, and leave Highway to the tender mercies of the medical staff. Back at Kit's office...
Kit: All that beating proves is that Danny will be sued, and the Inevitables fired. I'm so glad I waited for that...
Vice: Thomas cannot sue Danny. Szatkowski came back for one night only to collect on his reward that he should've been contractually given in the first place...namely...his "five minutes" he never received with our commissioner. As for the Inevitables...Highway was acting as a referee. According to his contract, he cannot fire anyone in "conflict of interests," events. Namely, he cannot fire Death and Taxes as "Thomas Commissioner" because they attacked "Thomas Referee." Decisions like that come back to me, unless you overrule it. And my decision is that there will be no action against teh Inevitables, considering the circumstances.
Kit: Works for me...
Back at the announcer's table with Doc and Brad...
Doc: I can't believe the ambush we just seen. Why was Wazowski allowed in the arena? All three should be arrested!
Brad: Justice has already been served, my friend. Justice has already been served!
Still Tag Team Champions: Shawn Dee and Jarek Magnum! |
Now he claims the world...
The King of Rawf challenges the RAWF World champion.
FROM THE PALACE OF AUBURN HILLS IN DETROIT, MICHIGAN
The Triple Crown Champion will face the RAWF World Heavyweight Champion
(For The World Heavyweight Championship)
Plus, for the the first time since Eruption, all original titles will be on the line!!
Who will enjoy the spoils of war?
Who will fall?
The armies of RAWF will battle for Conquest!
|
|
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall ... introducing first ... from Unknown.... weighing 275 pounds .... RYNE BLOOD !
Brad: The Ruthless One wants that World Heavyweight Championship Doc! How far will he go to get it?
Levitan: And his opponent ... from Honolulu, Hawaii.... weighing 284 pounds ... this is BIG KAHUNA!!
The Radi-tron lights up with a shot of Kahuna, looking pretty ticked off. A large smirk crosses his face as he speaks. �I came here to kick (censored) and chew bubble gum. And I�m all out of bubble gum!� The word �Kahuna� replaces his face on the Radi-tron and everyone anticipates the guitar opening to �The Mob Rules�. This does not happen. Instead, we get �Freedom Fighter� by Creed and Kahuna comes out onto the walkway.
Always find another door
While at the gates of paradise they beat us down some more
But our mission's set in stone
'Cause the writing's on the wall
I'll scream it from the mountain tops pride comes before a fall"
Brad: The winner of this match will go on to challenge Alex Layne in two weeks on Monday Night Chaos! Will it be The Ruthless One or the Big Kahuna! Both men are nearly equal in all aspects.
Doc: I'm going with Blood! Although both men have been making it known they are sick of being disrespected.
The referee checks the two wrestlers for any outside objects, delaying the match for a couple of seconds. The crowd begins to boo as Kahuna and Ryne Blood began to get impatient. The ref finally rings the bell and the crowd gives off a big roar. The two big men grapple, with each one gaining the advantage but quickly giving it away to their opponent. Finally Ryne Blood delivers a knee to the midsection of Kahuna, making Kahuna bend over. As Kahuna clutches his stomach, Blood drops an elbow to the back of the head of the Hawaiian. Kahuna drops to a loud thud as Blood gives the down man a few swift stomps to the back. As the kicks became more abundant and more violent, the referee comes in and breaks it up. Ryne Blood throws his arms up into the air and begins to back off, as Kahuna slowly gets up, shaking his head of the cobwebs.
Doc: Yeah! That's more like it! Show the Big pineapple how its done Ryne!
Brad: Ryne picks up Kahuna and slings him into the corner. Ryne charges and HITS with an avalanche. Awwwwww, now he's choking him!!! Come on ref, get him off!
Ryne digs his paws into Kahuna's throat while he's stuck against the turnbuckles. The ref counts to four and tries to wedge between the two grapplers. Ryne lets go and yells at the ref to get away from him. He starts back toward Kahuna, but BK kicks him in the abdomen. Ryne takes a step back, but comes back again ...right into another kick by Kahuna. Ryne tries to shake that off too, but too late as Kahuna comes at him with a clothesline that sends him to the mat. Ryne gets up and Kahuna bodyslams him back to the canvas. Kahuna bounces off the ropes and hits a legdrop. He picks Ryne up and hits him with a knife edge chop, then another. Ryne staggers back into the corner. Kahuna climbs and mounts him, blasting him with short punches. The crowd counts "1....2....3....4....5.....6.....7...." Ryne lifts Kahuna and gives him a reverse atomic drop. Kahuna falls to his knees. Ryne kicks him hard in the face and Kahuna collapses to the mat. Ryne sneers and walks around beside Kahuna and delivers a massive leg drop across Kahuna�s chest. He then pulls Kahuna up and sets him for a suplex, but Kahuna blocks and reverses it. Ryne gets up first and pulls Kahuna up again, getting punched in the gut several times. Ryne drives his knee into Kahuna�s breadbasket, knocking the wind out of the big Hawaiian. Ryne decides to take advantage of Kahuna being doubled over and sets him for a piledriver, which he nails!
Doc: This could be it right here!
Brad: Will it be Ryne Blood vs. Alex Layne???
Ryne goes for a cover, 1�2�Kahuna rolls a shoulder up. Blood sits up and smiles. He gets back to his feet and takes Kahuna by the hair, pulling him up. He grabs Kahuna�s head by the sides and says something to him and slaps him. Kahuna�s head snaps sideways, and turns back. He glares at Ryne and spits on him. Ryne slaps him again, and again Kahuna turns back and spits on him. Ryne goes for a devastating clothesline, but Kahuna ducks it and catches Ryne coming off the ropes with a waistlock that turns into an Arn Anderson style spinebuster! Both men bounce from the force of the impact and lay still. The official gives a count, and Ryne is again first to his feet. The former US Champion walks across to his opponent, who is up onto his knees, and gets a shot to the gut. The ref comes over and while he is out of position for a moment, Kahuna pulls out the great equalizer, a shot to the crotch! The crowd �oooh�s� as Ryne staggers backwards and falls over onto his shoulder, kicking the mat in pain. The crowd Kahuna plops down and catches his breath as the ref looks from Ryne to Kahuna and back again, trying to decide if something happened he needs to warn about. Finally deciding he just didn�t see anything he starts counting both men, which Kahuna breaks by pulling himself up. He walks over to Ryne who is back up on his knees and stops him in the head. Then he stomps him repeatedly, driving Ryne down to the mat. The ref comes over and forces Kahuna to break, allowing Ryne to roll to the corner to catch his breath. Kahuna shoves the ref aside and stalks towards the corner, just as Ryne looks up and sees him coming. Ryne tries to drive a big boot into Kahuna�s mush, but Kahuna catches the leg and drags Ryne, hoping on one leg, out into the center of the ring. Then, with an evil, demented smile, Kahuna executes a dragon-screw leg whip, and hangs onto the ankle, rolling it around, he ends up in his version of an STF! Ryne begins the slow crawl towards the ropes, and arrives there, causing the ref to call for the break.
Brad: A lucky break for Blood. But Kahuna's slow to let go!
Doc: Come on ref, do your job!!
Kahuna hesitates to break the hold, but does. Ryne takes advantage of this moment to slip out of the ring and try to get his leg working again, while Kahuna kneels down on one knee and catches his breath. Ryne walks around the ring as the ref counts, Kahuna content to let him do so, so he can catch his own breath. The ref reaches eight on his count, and Ryne rolls back into the ring. Kahuna watches him, and appears to surprise Ryne by not attacking him immediately. Ryne still favors his right leg as he walks cautiously around Kahuna, who is back on his feet and circling. The two men tie up, and Ryne wins the exchange, sending Kahuna into the ropes, he nails him with a massive clothesline. Ryne turns to celebrate regaining control of the upstart Kahuna, but behind him, Kahuna regains his feet. Ryne turns around just in time to catch a running dropkick from the nearly three hundred pound Kahuna right in the jaw! Ryne staggers backwards into the ropes and shakes his head as Kahuna regains his feet and presses his advantage with a series of knife edge chops, each one gaining a Ric Flair �woooooooo� from the fans. Kahuna whips Ryne across the ring and bends over for a backdrop, to have Ryne leap frog over and hit the other ropes. Kahuna turns around and Ryne goes for a massive spear, but at the last second, Kahuna simply drops to the mat like wet spaghetti, and lets Ryne sail over him and into, then through, the ropes, and out to the floor. Kahuna rolls out after him, seeking to take advantage of his opponent�s mistake.
Brad: This is brutal!! These two powerhouses really putting on a show!
Doc: It's for a shot at the bigtime!!! Both of these men want that World Title badly!
Kahuna picks Ryne up off the floor and blasts him with another knife edge chop. Ryne goes staggering into the ring apron. Kahuna hits him with another, then another chop. Ryne is like a Weeble, tottering but won't fall down. Kahuna picks him up and scoop slams him to the floor, then rolls back in to break the count. He rolls back out and grabs a chair. Ryne staggers over and leans against the post. Kahuna comes at him swing. Ryne drops down and the chairs smacks against the steel post with a loud thwack. Ryne headbutts Kahuna in the stomach and forces him to drop the chair. Ryne picks him up and gives him a F-5 ON THE FLOOR!
Doc: THAT'S GOT TO BE IT!! Ryne just needs to get him in the ring!!
Brad: My god, what a move!!! Kahuna HAS to be finished!
Ryne rolls Kahuna back in and covers him! The ref counts 1....2.... Kahuna gets a foot drped over the ropes ...but the ref doesn't see it and makes the three count!
Brad: Kahuna had a foot on the ropes!!!
Doc: Doesn't matter!!! Ref didn't see it!
Ryne gets up and has his hand raised by the official. From the aisle, Vice comes sprinting down and gets into the ring and pulls the official aside. They seem to be conferring about something as Ryne pounds his chest and doesn't notice. After a few seconds he turns around and sees Vice leaving the ring ...and the referee signalling for their match to continue!!!!!
Doc: WHAT??!!!! HE CAN'T DO THAT!!
Brad: It's such an important match, I guess Vice wanted to make sure it ended fairly! I think it's a good show of judgement!
Doc: No, it's a good show of FAVORTISM!! Or in Ryne's case UNFAVORTISM!!
Ryne is totally irate!!! He goes over and bellows at Vice as the VP is returning to the back. Kahuna struggles to his feet behind Ryne and when Ryne finally turns around, Kahuna nails him with several shots to the face, then doubles him over with a knee to the groin. He sets him up suplex style, and liftsd...hitting the Tsunami!!!!!! Kahuna covers! 1....2...Ryne gets a foot draped over the ropes...but again like last time the ref misses it and slaps the mat for a third time!
Doc: IT HAPPENED AGAIN!!! That official needs to be fired. Vice should do that when he comes back out and restarts the match again.
The ref raises Kahuna's hand in victory as Ryne gets up slowly and looks to the backstage area. Kahuna sneers and leaves the ring, and so does the ref. Ryne keeps watching for Vice to reappear .........but he doesn't!
Doc: HOW CAN THIS BE FAIR!??!! Where's Vice now???
Brad: Maybe he didn't see it. He might not have gotten to a monitor in time to witness what transpired.
Doc: There should be an investigation!!! I demand one!! So does Ryne!!
Once it's clear that Vice is not showing up, Ryne starts having a fit. He starts tossing chairs and such around ringside and even threatens to hit a security official atr ringside, before being escorted by more security to the back.
BRAD: Ryne Blood is looking exceptionally well today, pouncing on Big Kahuna in the early going!
DOC: Ryne Blood always looks exceptional when he wrestles, you idiot! He is just showing off some of that ruthless attitude that made him the US Champion.
BRAD: Alright, back to the match. Ryne Blood is picking up the dazed Kahuna and looks like he wants to hit a vertical suplex.
As Ryne Blood lifts the heavy Kahuna up off the ground, Kahuna begins to wiggle. The extra movement from Kahuna makes Ryne Blood drop Kahuna, and Kahuna landing on his feet behind Ryne Blood. As soon as Ryne Blood turns around, Kahuna drops a forceful drop kick to the face of Blood that he stumbles and goes through the ropes. As Blood gathers his senses, Kahuna bounces off the ropes and hits a baseball slide that sends Ryne Blood to the thick barricade, sending a loud thump to the whole arena. Kahuna waits in the ring as the referee begins to count out the former US Champion.
DOC: C�mon Ruthless! You can�t let that big Hawaiian oaf beat you like that! C�Mon!
BRAD: Looks like Mr. Blood is hearing the count and rolls into the ring before the ten count. A close call and a near win for Kahuna there, Doc.
DOC: I know that! But Ruthless over there isn�t going to allow anyone to win by count out. Geez, that would be an embarrassment if someone lost that way.
Ryne gets into the ring and Kahuna beckons him on. The two lock up and Ryne grabs Kahuna in a headlock. Kahuna pushes him off into the ropes and Ryne tries a shoulderblock. Kahuna takes it and doesn't go down. Ryne tries again and gets the same result. The two men stare at each other for a minute before Ryne raises a hand and signals for a test of strength. Kahuna looks to the crowd, then looks back at Ryne warily, expecting a trick. Ryne just stands there, waiting. Kahuna nods, then links hands with The Ruthless One. They start jockeying and pushing. After a second, Ryne grunts and pushes his wrists over, and forces Kahuna to his knees! Kahuna grimaces with effort as the crowd chants his name, trying to boister him. Kahuna starts to shake and begins pushing his way back up. Ryne sneers and tries to keep him down, but Kahuna forces his way back up and turns Rynes wrists over. Ryne starts to kneel, but at the last second, he kicks Kahuna in the groin. Kahuna doubles over and Ryne hits him with a franchiser kick to the back of the head! Kahuna hits the canvas. Ryne hits with three sucessive elbow drops to Kahuna's back, then stands up and spits on the Hawaiian.
PICKLES VS. CROC VS. BLAKE ZULU
Levitan: The following contest is the Final Tournament match for the TRIPLE CROWN! The winner will be crowned KING OF RAWF!!!! Introducing first ... from London, England.... weighing 247 pounds .... PICKLES!
Feed me all my memories!"
Levitan: And his opponent ... from Sydney, Australia.... weighing 248 pounds ... he is the RAWF Television Champion..... this is CROC!
Everything is (bleep)ed, everybody sucks."
"Breakstuff" by Limp Bizkit plays and the always obnoxious Croc becomes visible to the fans. Like Pickles, he has no use for the fans, and hates putting up with them. Walking briskly, he heads to the ring, where he and Pickles start up a conversation...
Levitan: And their opponent ... from Los Angeles, California.... weighing 232 pounds .... BLAKE ZULU!
Until you took me, showed me around
My life is free now, my life is clear
I love you sweet leaf, though you can't hear
"Sweet Leaf" by Godsmack fires up the crowd as Blake Zulu cartwheels out from the back. The fans, eating this up, cheer him like their is no tomorrow, and they start the chant, "King Zoo! "King Zoo!" Zulu, still wearing that trademark, mellow smile, mouths the words, "Yeah, baby!" to teh roaring crowd. Without any further fanfare, Blake start to "walk that mile..."
Doc: I don't look for this match to last very long. These guys have already been through hell tonight, I expect a plodding type of match. This plays to advantage for Croc, because the other two like to be high flyers. I think their legs will give out early!
Brad: Give them more credit than that, these are fine athletes! They will give us a good match!
Doc: They may be great athletes, but NFL players are tremendous athletes, too, but you wouldn't see them able to play a night game after playing one of the early games...
Zoo gets to the ring, and his surly opponents gang up on him immediately. Croc starts pounding away with punches, and Pickles takes advantage of the distraction to get behind him to wrap him up and hit a German suplex. Holding onto him, he picks Blake up, but instead of suplexing him again, he just keeps him there while Croc sets up and dropkicks him savagely! Letting him fall, the two evil wrestlers kick like no tomorrow, and the crowd nearly goes berzerk, booing intensely, while some in the crowd considers jumping the rail to help their guy. Stomping away, they stop long enough to cinch him up and hit a double vertical suplex. Croc stays on him while Pickles gets out of the ring and starts looking under the ring. Emerging with some rope, Croc nods his head, laughs, then heaves him over the tope rope. Pickles picks him up upon his landing, then posts him. Keeping him propped on the post, the co-conspirators tie Blake to the post rather well, despite the protestations of the referee. Croc gives him a thinly veiled threat about what they will do to him if he stops the match and frees Zulu. Pickles and Croc tell Zoo to "Wait right there and let real men fight for the Crown." Going nuts, one guy does jump over the rail, but he is tackled and dragged away before any harm can be done. The crowd boos some more, feeling cheated out of a triple threat match. Croc and Pickles get into the ring, and start circling each other in this now regular one on one match.
Brad: Hey, security...would you mind SETTING ZOO FREE! What do you get paid for???
Doc: Not that, they are crowd control...they aren't supposed to get involved with matches!
Croc and Pickles lock up. With nearly identical heights and weights, the two men push and pull, trying to get the edge out of the lock-up. Eventually, Croc scoops up Pickles and bodyslams him. Bending down to pick him up, the Aussie Icon is kicked back, where he loses his balance and falls. Pickles gets to his feet and starts toward the fallen Aussie. Croc bridges, flips himself to a vertical base, then locks back up with Pickles. This time, it is Pickles who wins the lock-up, and he whips Croc into the ropes, then boots him in the stomach, causing Croc to bend over. Running the ropes, Pickles jumps up to hit the guillotine face driver, but the Aussie Icon straightens up and lets Pickles hit the mat. Grabbing him by his hair, Croc gets him to his feet and nails a swinging neckbreaker. Outside, Zoo is straining against the ropes, trying to free himself. Inside the ring, Croc starts to apply a figure four leglock, but Pickles raises up, grabs him and rolls him up for a pin attempt...1-2-kickout! Pickles stands up first, hammers Croc with some punches, scoops him up, then treats him to a reverse fall away slam. He hooks a leg...1-2-kickout! Getting Croc back to his feet, he whips Croc into the ropes, and starts to go for a back body drop, but changes his mind in a blink of an eye...as he lifts Croc over, Pickles hooks Croc's legs and falls backwards, with the Icon landing back first on the mat, and Pickles landing back first on top of him. Stunned, Croc just lays there as Pickles goes for it all and climbs the top rope. The man from London flies through the air and performs a flawless Senton bomb...on nobody in particular...as Croc rolled out of the way. The Aussie makes a cover on the Englishman...1-2-kickout! Croc slams a hard right into Pickles face, then stands up and drops an elbow. Zoo is screaming for anybody to help him out...and still desperately trying to get free...
Doc: Croc and Pickles have more energy than what I thought they would have, and putting on a hell of a match. It seems that Blake Zulu is a little "tied up" at the moment, and can't join them...hehe
Brad: This is insane, NOBODY will do anything? Well, I'll do something about it!
Brad leaves his station and walks over to Zoo position. Croc sees this and starts to get angry. Pickles stands up and initiates a lock-up, but Croc lets him know about the "Brad situation." Both men slide under the bottom rope, and get on either side of Brad, boxing him in. He stops fiddling with the ropes and tells him that he isn't a wrestler, and doen't want any trouble. Pickles tells him that trouble was looking for him, and punches him hard, right into Croc. Croc hits him with a jumping DDT, knocking the announcer out! Extremely happy with themselves, they taunt Zoo some more, then watch as a medical crew come out and take Brad to the back. Sliding back into the ring, the two competitors do not even notice little Mary Jane make her way through the crowd and over the railing. She keeps low and crawls over to Blakes's position, working on the ropes from a kneeling position, which starts to excite Zoo. She looks at him, shakes her head, then continues trying to get the ropes untied.
Doc: This is great! Just me out here! Hey "Doc." what's it like working with the greatest color man in the business...
Doc: It's fabulous! It's an honor and a privilege. Speaking of a privilege...I wonder how much Zoo paid for the privilege of the best front row seat in the house...hehehe
Mary Jane keeps working on the ropes, and she starts to get them loose. Inside the ring, Croc nails Pickles with low blow, then an uppercut, then a European forearm. Hoisting him up, he hits a snap suplex, and goes for the cover...1-2-kickout! Pickles rakes his eyes, then applies a side headlock. Croc powers his way to his feet, but Pickles stubbornly holds onto the headlock. Croc tries to whip him into the ropes, but Pickles stays right where he's at. Croc picks him up and back suplexes him, but he maintains the headlock. Feeling a little woozy, the Aussie Icon then simply reaches over, drags Pickles a little, and gets to the ropes. The referee calls for a break. Both men get to a vertical base, Pickles hits a surprise standing dropkick then sends his opponent into the ropes> This time, however, Pickles runs the opposite ropes, then jumps up with a high cross body. Croc had the same idea, however, and he lepas up with a high cross body. The collide in midair, with Croc coming out on top of the exchange, and he lands solidly on Pickles. While Croc is making a pin attempt, Blake Zulu is finally freed by Mary Jane! Thanking his beloved Mary Jane, Zoo slides under the ropes to make the save, when Pickles kicks out anyway. Croc looks stunned when he turns around and sees himself face to face with the man called Zoo.
Doc: Since Brad is sleeping on the job, I'll have to say it...why oh why did Zoo get free? He interrupted a very good match!
Blake grabs Croc and monkeyflips him away from his "buddy." Pickles gets up and swings at Zulu, but Blake blocks it, then hits with a roundhouse kick. Turning toward Croc, he hits him with a dropkick. Looking over at Pickles, he hits HIM with a dropkick. He bodyslams Croc, he bodyslams Pickles! The arena starts to shake with clapping, stomping, jovial fans! With a running start, he spears Pickles. He takes a running start, and tries to spear Croc, but Croc moved out of the way, and Mr. 420 ends up putting himself through the top and second ropes, posting himself. Croc drags Blake out from the ropes, and hits a reverse DDT. He goes for the cover...1-2-Pickles drags him off! Pickles then boots Croc in the head, and gets him with a brainbuster. Not covering him, Pickles grabs Zulu, and hits a backbreaker. Turning toward Croc, he drops a leg, then turning toward Blake, he drops a fist. Scooping up Zoo, he starts to run for a powerslam, when Zulu slips it, drops behind him, pushes Pickles in the back, causing him to bounce off the ropes, and hits a spinning heel kick on the Englishman. Zoo goes for a cover...1-2-kickout! Zoo starts to grab Pickles, but Croc grabs Blake, applying a reverse piledriver. Croc goes for the cover...1-2-Pickles drags Croc away! The two men start having a heated discussion, and they start to push one another. Blake recovers and runs the ropes quickly, and nails a split-legged dropkick, connecting with both men.
Doc: Even though he hit both guys with that...uhh..."dropkick," that move isn't all that effective! Right Brad? Hehehe I guess he is speechless...hehehe
Zulu runs and hits the Munchie Factor on Croc. Pickles gets up, and Zoo tries for a lock-up, but Pickles jumps onto Blake's shoulders, facing the same direction as he is. From there, Pickles spins his body so he is facing the opposite direction of Zoo. Pickles falls backward with his upper body and scissorlocks Zulu's head and neck, snapping him over. Croc comes barrelling in to the scene grabs Pickles from behind, turns him around, whips him into the ropes, picks him up "spinebuster style" but intead, falls backward, dropping Pickles' throat on the top rope. When he bounces off, Croc flips him over, onto the mat, and places his boots on Pickles shoulder, making a cover...1-2-kickout! Zoo grabs Pickles up and throws him over the tope rope. Croc locks up with Zulu, then drops down for a jawbreaker. Moving quickly, he executes a standing head scissors and hooks both of Zoo's arms. Croc then jumps up and drives Blake's face into the mat. Celebrating and showboating as the crowd angrily boos him, Pickles climbs the top rope and hits a missile dropkick!
Doc: This could be it for Pickles! He climbs the top rope again!
As Pickles gets set to launch himself off the top rope for a big splash, Mary Jane pushes him off, while the ref checks on the others. Landing awkwardly, Pickles stays down, and all three men are left laying on the mat, as the labors of the night have exhausted them all. The official makes a count...1-2-3-4-5-6-7---Zoo gets to his feet, followed closely by Croc. Zoo hits him with a dropkick and a twisting leg drop. Getting to his feet, he walks over to Pickles' position. Grabbing his legs, he turns him over into a Bong Shooter. Pickles hangs on and sucks up the pain. Croc gets to his feet, runs, grabs Zoo in a headlock from behind, and on the run, then bulldogs him off of Pickles. Croc makes a pin attempt...1-2-kickout! Croc starts choking him, which causes the ref to start count for a DQ...1-2-3-4-releases the hold, covers him, and hooks the leg...1-2-kickout!
Doc: Oohhh...I thought we had King Croc there for a second! Now that has a nice ring to it! King Pickle sounds like something that Vlasic makes, but what the hell. King Zoo sounds horrible, so come on guys, take care of him!
Pickles rejoins the fracas, and starts hammering on Zoo. Croc resumes hostilities with the man from California, too. Both men belt him with rights, lefts, kicks, and chops. Croc hoists him up, and powerslams him, while Pickles hits the Pickleator from the top rope! Pickles makes the cover...1-2-Croc pulls him off! Croc hip-tosses him away, and makes the cover on Zoo...1-2-Pickles drags him away! Croc and Pickles start punching each other. Croc hits a spinebuster on Pickles. Pickles comes back and nails a hammerlock body slam. Tearing into each other, they stop when they notice Blake Zulu getting back to his feet. Double teaming him some more, Croc sends him hard into the corner, then sends Pickles hard into Zoo. As Pickles runs into the corner, he turns the planned avalanche into a clothesline. Blake staggers out of the corner, and Pickles positions himself behind Zulu, holding him there for Croc. Croc steps up, and delivers the CrocKick! To Pickles! Because Zoo escaped Pickles' grasp. Pickles goes down, Blake dropkicks Croc, sending him halfway across the ring, where he falls, drained of energy. Blake drapes a eary arm over Pickles...1-2-3! The crowd gets to its feet in unison and gives Zoo a standing ovation Cameras flash like mad, adn the chants of "King Zoo! King Zoo!" fill the air...
Doc: Oh no, not King Zoo...Croc did the damage...give the Crown to him! What a terrible night...King Zoo of all things...this place IS a zoo, now. What started off as a good match, seeing as how Brad got hurt, turned out to have the worst possible ending. Damn!
TRIPLE CROWN WINNER: NEW KING OF RAWF: BLAKE ZULU!!!!! |
Instead of "Sweet Leaf", "Pomp And Circumstance" starts to play. Mary Jane runs into the ring and helps her man up and raises his arm in victory. Over by the throne, Vice has removed the Triple Crown from its case and stands ready to crown the new Champion. Zoo and MJ make their way up the aisle and to the stage to the tremendous ovation of the crowd.
Doc: Well, at least I don't have Brad here to dote over our new "King". Let's get this damn ceremony over with so I can go home and pretend it never happened.
Zoo and MJ make their way to the throne, where Vice stands smiling and holding a proclamation in his hands. The Triple Crown sits on it's pedestal awaiting it's new owner. MJ is handed a billowing purple cloak and she drapes it over the shoulders of her man who grins and waves to the fans. He swirls the cape about him then hides his face in Dracula like fashion. MJ shakes her head and directs him to sit in his throne. He does so and Vice unrolls the scroll and begins to read.
Vice: Hear ye! Hear ye! Let it be known throughout the land and throughout the Radical American Wrestling Federation that a new Monarch has been named this eleventh day in May of the year 2003! He has come forth this day and conquered eight other challengers for the throne and so deserves the respect of his people and his peers! And so on this day we pronounce you Blake Zulu...the new Triple Crown Champion!
Vice hands the proclamation to MJ and reaches for the crown. Suddenly, one of the suits of armor flanking the throne steps forward to the shock of the crowd. A steel plated arm comes down and clocks Vice across the head and he falls to the ground. Zoo starts to rise, but the armored "knight" bashes him with a steel gauntlet to the face. Zoo crumples back into the throne. MJ screams and backs away when the armor starts towards her. The knight turns back to Zoo and removes it's helmet....
Doc: THE RUTHLESS ONE!! RYNE BLOOD!!! Wow! I feel like a kid who got what he wanted for Christmas on the last present!!
Ryne takes the helmet and nails Zoo with it across the face. Zoo begins to bleed from the forehead. Ryne grabs a microphone from nearby.
Ryne: KING ZOO MY ASS!!!
He drops the mic and picks up the Triple Crown and shoves it as hard as he can over Zoo's head. It goes so far down, it covers his eyes. Zoo sits unmoving and unconscious on the throne. MJ screams for security. Ryne scares her off again, then grabs his helmet and jams it down over Vice's head. Vice collapses back to the floor and lies still. Ryne picks up the mic once more.
Ryne: VICE, I'M NOT TAKING YOUR CRAP ANYMORE!! AND IF I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS PISSANT OF A "KING" TO GET TO THE WORLD TITLE...SO BE IT!!
Ryne tosses the mic down on Vice, then kicks him in the ribs for good measure before giving the camera a sneer and stomping off and heading backstage.
Doc: And on that fine note, this is Doc Dillinger signing off from Triple Crown!!! Heheheheheheh.
The last thing we see before Triple Crown goes off the air is Mary Jane trying to tug the crown off of Zoo's head as he slumps unconscious and bloody in his throne along with the still body of Vice President Vice lying on the carpet, his head still covered by the knight
s helmet....