Pickles is seen talking to someone in a locker room. He's standing in the hall, as the door is open and we can't see who is behind the door, we join him halfway through the conversation.
Pickles: ...it'll be monumental to say the least. I've seen, and felt your talent first hand. You need to be nurtured into something more than what you are now...
Man behind door: OK, I'll think about it. But only because my current status is going nowhere... if I join, this should be great.
Pickles: ExACTly...
Pickles laughs slightly.
Pickles: OK, well my match with Baggs is rapidly approaching, I better hurry on off. Good luck next week at Philly Freedom!
The scene fades.
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first ... from London, England. ...weighing 247 pounds ...this is PICKLES!!!
"Gelosea" is keyed, and Pickles waits for the explosions. As he hears his pyro fire up, he walks out to take a look at the crowd. Emerging from the smoke wafting through the air, the fans cheer for the Englishman. Walking to both sides of the "stage," Pickles revs up the crowd, and gets to the ring.
Brad: Pickles out to show he is anything but boring!
Doc: He is failing on that score. Baggs, however, is a guy that knows how to have the crwod in the palm of his hand...
Levitan: And his opponent... from South Boston, Virginia ...weighing in at 265 pounds ...this is BAGGS!!!!
"After Me" reverberates and Baggs walks down with a certain "elitist" strut. Not saying anything, not to the crowd, security, the ref or Pickles as he gets in the ring, Baggs stares down his opponent with red-hot intensity.
Doc: Do you think we�ll see the Establishment throw Dee out this week ?
Brad: I don�t think they�re going to do anything of the kind without their leader here to say something about it.
Doc: What leader ?
Brad: Dirge you nitwit. He�s the leader of the Establishment, no matter how much he tried to deny it. Baggs and Magnum wouldn�t do anything without him around, at least nothing like that. Could you imagine the consequences ? If you noticed last week he seemed confused by Dee�s behavior towards Zoo, but not exactly angry about it. I don�t think that he wants to toss Dee out at this point; he just wants to know where Dee stands with the rest of the team. If nothing else Dirge is a pragmatist, he might be a total scumbag, but he does seem to get the �big picture�. He knows Dee�s value to the team and wouldn�t want him out unless it was absolutely necessary. I don�t think they�ll do anything about Dee until at least Philadelphia Freedom. Although I can�t guarantee that Baggs and Magnum will be able to curb their distain for him, especially not without Dirge around. I think that will be the interesting thing to see.
Doc: Thanks professor, that was a bit more than I was looking for with that question.
Brad: Just telling it like it is, whether you want to see it or not.
Doc: Well Professor Baxter, since you seem to know it all why not tell me who�s going to win this match ?
Brad: How should I know ? I�m not psychic.
Doc: You seem to know everything about the Establishment; I figured you�d know this too.
Brad: I�m just going by what I see in that case, I don�t know who�s going to win this match.
Doc: I guess you don�t know everything, do you Brad ?
As the two commentators sit at ringside trading shots at each other they failed to notice that both wrestlers had come down and were in the ring waiting for the bell. It rings and the men start to circle each other, measuring each other up for openings. Finally they stop circling and engage in a collar and elbow tie up. They wrestle for position for a few moments before Pickles gets in behind Baggs and wraps his hands around his waist. Baggs struggles against it for a few seconds before Pickles hoists him up into a vertical suplex. He holds it for what seems like an eternity then comes crashing down to the mat, shaking it with the impact. He rolls his hips and flips over, hoisting Baggs up again. He holds it again then comes crashing down again. Picles repeats this three more times before flipping off of the mat with a kip up and dropping a leg across Baggs� neck and rolls over into a rear chinlock. He gets a round of applause from the fans for his work, even if he�s not a fan favorite.
Brad: That was a good start by Pickles; he�s setting the pace for this match early on.
Doc: Baggs will get it together.
Pickles pulls Baggs off of the mat with the chinlock still applied. He swings it around and hoists Baggs up, lifting him into the air. He holds him for a few more seconds and then drops straight down, nailing a brainbuster. He leaps over Baggs and hooks his leg. The referee leaps over the two and drops to the mat.
Brad: Our first pinning predicament ! This could be over early !
Doc: I seriously doubt it�ll be that easy Brad.
Almost as if on cue Baggs kicks out, and with a great deal of enthusiasm. Pickles stands up from the pinfall and immediately begins to lay some leather into Baggs� ribs. He whales away, laying kick after kick into Baggs until finally Baggs reaches up and grabs his foot, flipping his ankle over and dropping him onto his face. He rolls over onto Pickles and cinches in a face lock of his own, pulling Pickles up with it. He leans towards the far side of the ring and uses the head lock to throw him into the ropes. Pickles springs off of them and comes flying back, Baggs scoops him up and drops him with a sidewalk slam and then displays incredible power by lifting him up by his legs before spinning around and planting him with a piledriver. Baggs stands up from the move and walks over to the corner, leaning into it.
Brad: I think he�s going for the Fatal Blow.
Doc: If he hits it his opponent will be �pickled�. Haha.
Brad: That joke was weak Doc, even for you.
As Brad sits at the announcing table with his head in his hands Pickles gets to his feet and stands up, stumbling around in a mild daze. He turns and staggers towards Baggs, who flies out of the corner and thrusts his leg out attempting the Fatal Blow. Pickles ducks under it at the last second and locks Baggs leg and arm up in a suplex hold. Pickles quickly adjusts his arm positions and leaps up, driving Baggs face first into the mat face first with an Implant DDT before collapsing to the mat himself.
Brad: What a counter !
Doc: Wow�even I�m impressed by that.
The referee starts the standing ten count as both men struggle to get to their feet. As he gets to five Pickles makes it to his knees and looks up at the ceiling shaking the cobwebs out of his head, Baggs gets to his hands and knees and rubs his face to get rid of the pain of the DDT impact. As the referee reaches eight Pickles gets to his feet and at nine Baggs gets to his. Both men stand and look at each other for a moment then both lunge at each other, both men throwing haymakers. They both connect and knock each other back into the opposite corners. Both men rub their jaws and smile at each other then walk out into the corner and start to circle again. After a few moments the lock up again and Pickles gets Baggs into a standing armbar and cinches it in. He wrenches on it a couple of times and twists Baggs downward from the pressure of the hold. Baggs slaps Pickles� arm and tries to twist around it but Pickles wrenches down on it again, yanking down hard and throwing Baggs to the mat. Baggs rolls around on the mat and twists around, lashing out with a sweep and knocking Pickles to the mat. Baggs stands back up and rubs on his shoulder then drops a knee into the small of Pickles back before pulling him to his feet. He locks his arms around Pickles waist and flips him over onto the back of his head with German Suplex. He rolls thought it and stands up again, changing his hand position and hoisting Pickles up then spins and slams him down with a vicious powerbomb. Pickles slams into the mat and lies still for a few moments. Baggs walks away from him and tries to rub the pain out of his shoulder again.
Brad: What a powerbomb!
Doc: These two are doing one hell of a number on each other.
Baggs walks over to Pickles and goes to pick him up but Pickles grabs his ankle and pulls his feet out from under him. He leaps to his feet and leaps up onto the ropes. He waits for Baggs to stand up and then leaps off, driving his feet into Pickles� jaw with a perfect missile dropkick. The move knocks Baggs back to the mat and Pickles leaps up onto the other turnbuckle then immediately leaps off and nails a 450 splash. He doesn�t go for the pinfall after the move, but stands up and waits for Baggs to get half way up before leaping up and driving him face first into the canvas with a rocker dropper (guillotine legdrop). He stands up from the move and waits for Baggs to stand up then kicks him in the stomach and grabs him by the shoulders then leaps up into the air and sits out, slamming him down on his face again with the �Pickled� X-Factor.
Brad: This could be it ! Baggs looks like he�s on �Dream Street�.
Doc: Come on Baggs, kick out ! This can�t be the end of it !
Pickles hooks Baggs� leg and the referee drops for the count. He slaps the mat and is a split second from hitting the three count when Baggs reaches out and grabs the bottom rope. The referee forces Pickles to break the hold and he stands up, kicking the bottom rope in frustration. He pulls Baggs to his feet and whips him into the ropes, as Baggs bounces back his positions himself to hit another move on Baggs when he�s on the return trip. Baggs bounces off the far ropes but ducks under Pickles, bouncing off the far ropes and using the leverage to add extra �umph� to his Fatal Blow. Pickles turns around and takes the move square in the jaw, violently snapping his head back and dropping him to the mat. Baggs stumbles off to the corner, gasping for air when he has the chance.
Brad: These two are trying to destroy one another ! What a contest !
Doc: This is a great match ! I can�t even decide who I want to win it.
Baggs walks over to Pickles and flips him over, hooking his leg. The referee drops to do the count. He gets to two and a half before Pickles kicks out. The two men stand up and shake their heads in exhaustion and disbelief. The circle each other again and lock up one more time, struggling for control. After a few moments Baggs gets the upper hand and throws Pickles into the ropes. Pickles gets to them and leaps up onto them, spring boarding off and launching into the air with a springboard version of a missile dropkick. He flips over in mid air and connects straight into Baggs jaw. The move knocks Baggs off his feet and to the mat, momentarily dazed. Pickles uses the chance to leap up onto the turnbuckle and come flying off of it with the Pickelator.
Brad: If he connects with that this is over.
As he soars down to begin his impact decent Baggs pops up and holds his arms out. Pickles lands right on his shoulder and Baggs locks his arms around Pickles waist then flips forward, planting him with a ring shaking powerslam. He flips Pickles over and goes for the cover.
Brad: Oh my GAWD !!! How in the hell did he kick out of that ??!!
Doc: Holy crap ! Even I thought it was over with that, I think they felt that impact fifty rows back !!
Baggs stands up and shakes his head, cursing in irritation. He pulls Pickles to his feet and throws him into the far corner. Pickles slams hard into it and slumps a little, his arms hooked over the ropes. Baggs charges him and tries spear him into the corner but at the last second Pickles moves and flips up, causing Baggs to drill shoulder first into the corner. Baggs slams into it and slumps down into it, wincing in pain and wheezing for breath.
Brad: This could be a critical juncture in the match. If Pickles can get him now it should be over !
Doc: For once I�d have a hard time disagreeing with you. It would be a shame to see such a good match end.
Pickles picks up Baggs and places him in a second rope reversed Pedigree then under hooks his legs in his own arms. He leaps off of the turnbuckle and slams down on the mat, driving Baggs into it with the Personality Clash. He releases the hold and flips Baggs over, hooking his leg. The referee drops into position. One�two�
Brad: Holy shit he kicked out !! How in the hell did he kick out of that ???!!!
Doc: I�ll be goddamned !!
Pickles, totally beside himself, drags Baggs to the middle of the ring. Dropping a leg, he drops another, and tries for another when Baggs rolls out of the way. Undaunted, Pickles gets up before Baggs regardless, and tries to whip him into the ropes. Baggs reverses the hold and as Pickles starts to bounce off of the ropes, the Fatal Blow knocks him to the canvass. Baggs makes the cover...1-2-foot on the ropes!
Brad: Well, finishers have proven useless in this match! Neither man wanting to lose, both with the heart of a lion!
Doc: Both insane for taking this much punishment! This goes to show you that they don't grow'em any stronger than in the RAWF!
Baggs, himself getting frustration beyond what he has ever felt before, picks up Pickles and drops him upside down in the corner. Kicking the hell out of him, he grabs his opponent by the hair, pulling him off the turnbuckles, and letting him drop to the mat. Backing up, he waits to deliver one more final, Fatal Blow. As Pickles staggers to his feet, Baggs launches his kick. Pickles drops down, jumps forward, and low blows Baggs. Baggs grabs his...bag, and winces in agony. Pickles stands up, cinches him up, and applies a fisherman's suplex. The ref makes the count...1-2-3!
Doc: It's over?! All of that offense and THAT wins the match???
Brad: Some of the best matches have ended with good old fashioned wrasslin', such as small packages, victory rolls, and fishermen's suplexes. If you can't beat them with high impact holds, or with sheer brute force, use guile!
|
Winner of the match by Pinfall: Pickles!!! |
The arena plunges into darkness. Spotlights circle around the arena before converging upon the entrance way, triggering a massive pyro explosion. �Breakstuff� by Limp Bizkit hits and the crowd stands and fills the arena with a chorus of boos as the RAWF Ironman Champion struts out of the smoke left by his pyro.
Brad: Hey what�s he doing out here now?
Doc: It�s the Aussie Icon! He can come out whenever he wants.
Brad: And I suppose he just have to have an
unnecessarily, over the top entrance as well!
Doc: Naturally!
Croc, cocky as hell, swaggers down to the ring,
showing total distain for the RAWF fans. Croc jumps into the ring and grabs a mic from ringside. He goes to speak but is drowned out by the vocal crowd. Crowd: ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!
Brad: The Sacramento crowd really telling Croc how
they feel about him.
Doc: Well Croc told me that California wouldn�t know true talent if it bit them in the ass�And Croc isn�t into biting anyone�s ass! Well unless Kit likes it that way!
Brad: Let�s not go there!
The crowd soon quiets down and Croc begins to speak.
Croc: People, people, people! Now last week was a momentous night for the RAWF! Why? No it wasn�t because Chaos was one hell of a show. No it wasn�t because three titles changed hands. No Monday night was a huge for one reason�.
After Croc finishes the sentence, the lights cut out and footage from last week�s Chaos is shown. The footage is of Jessica Beach reporting outside Croc�s LOCKED locker-room, with pleasurable noises
emulating from inside. Jessica then asks a nearby janitor who it was
inside, and the janitor reveals it is Kit. The footage stops and the camera comes back to Croc in the ring.
Croc: Now I am not one to kiss and tell�
Doc: Oh come on we want details!
Brad: Well being the pervert you are you may, but I and the rest of the world doesn�t want to know!
Croc: But I think the footage speaks for itself. Yes that was my locker-room in question� But I did not have sexual relations with that woman!
Croc and most of the crowd even crack up at Croc�s dodgy impersonation of Bill Clinton.
Croc: Who am I kidding? I slapped that ass six ways from Sunday! I drove home the deal� I went Allllllllll night long with my Kitty. I admit it, I slept with the boss� Am I proud of it? F**k Yeah!
Crowd boos
Croc: Oh come on people like you wouldn�t do the
same!
Brad: No they wouldn�t! And even if they did they wouldn�t come out here bragging about it to the world. That is showing a total disrespect to Kit as a woman and as our boss!
Doc: Phhhhh! Like she cares. Croc told me some of the details backstage, and he told me how much she was gagging for it!
Brad: Please Doc. Croc doesn�t even talk to you.
Doc: Well maybe not today� But he told a friend of a friend of mine!
Croc: You people are just jealous. All you men have a thing for Kit and would give your first born to have a night of passion with the RAWF President� But the reality of it is that you are all too ugly to even get close to a woman like Kit. Well I did! Why? Because I am the Aussie Icon� Stunning both in and out of the ring, and the overall illustration of perfection!
Crowd boos.
Croc: But as for Arsenal X and Adz� Well I suggest you start running away now because tonight I will�.
Suddenly the lights cut out.
Croc: What the hell?
Doc: Can someone get on this problem� We need to hear more from Croc.
"The Bitch Is Back" by Elton John begins playing and the Rad-Tron lights up with big neon KIT. The crowd roars as Kit emerges from the back with a VERY angry look on her face.
Doc: Oh shit!
Brad: Oh yes!
The camera cuts back to Croc who is in the ring with a smug smirk on his face. He blows a kiss in Kit�s direction. Kit looks pissed off as she glares at Croc.
Kit: Croc you arrogant Aussie Asshole.
Crowd cheers.
Kit: Who do you think you are? I have the right
mind to fire your ass right here and now.
Croc: Well Kit you and I both know you can�t do
that! Clause number 12 in my contract states I am not able to be fired until a certain date in time.
Kit: I know that Croc, and I am counting down the days until that date comes around. Cause after then, if you look at me in the wrong way or mention my name without my permission� Your ass will be fired! But until then, I am just going to make your life miserable� Starting tonight!
Croc: Now Kit, I know you think that your little match is a challenge for me� But I can see your ulterior motives. Adz and Arsenal X� Come on you could of at least chosen some opponents who could give me a challenge. But that�s not what you want� You want me to walk into Freedom a double champion! Why? Because then when I win the World Title I will be the first ever RAWF Triple Champion! I knew you loved me Kit!
Kit: Oh shove it up your ass Croc! I don�t care about your match tonight at the present moment, cause I have something more interesting about you on my mind! Like a certain video from INSIDE your locker-room last Monday Night!
Crowd cheers.
Doc: Kinky. Kit must of videotaped her and Croc getting it on!
Croc: Hey that is an invasion of privacy! You are not allowed to show that!
Kit: Oh that�s where your wrong Croc� I�m the boss and I can do whatever I want! ROLL THE FOOTAGE!
The footage rolls and it shows Croc sitting on his lounge in his
locker-room. The door opens and Kit walks in. Croc springs up and walks over to Kit. Then Kit removes her wig�
Doc: Wow� I never knew Kit wore a wig!
Brad: That�s not Kit, that is a person who dressed
up like Kit!
Croc then begins to talk to the woman. The conversation can be picked up by the camera.
Croc: Alright so did anyone see you ?
�Kit�: Yeah some janitor did.
Croc: Did he think you where Kit?
�Kit�: Yeah, he said �How are you doing Ms. Kit?!�
Croc: Excellent! Shhhhh! Jessica Beach is outside� Get over here!
Croc and �Kit� put their ears to the door and listen to Jessica outside conducting the segment. Croc then counts down from five and then Croc and �Kit� begin to let out pleasurable groans as loud as
they can. The footage then cuts off and cuts back to the ring, where Croc is going mental. Kit is laughing at the top of the ramp.
Kit: What�s wrong Croc? Look a bit stupid?
Croc: That footage was doctored! That�s not what happened� You and I both know what really happened Kit, and that wasn�t it! They are both actors� It was footage from some other week� It wasn�t me I tell you!
The crowd is laughing as Croc tries desperately to plead his innocence. Kit loves it and "The Bitch Is Back" by Elton John plays again and Kit leaves.
Brad: Yes I knew Kit wouldn�t do something that low!
Doc: Low? She stooped lower than anyone I have ever seen! Doctoring footage to make Croc look stupid� How could she?
Brad: Get your head out of Croc�s ass for one second and take a glimpse at reality!
|
ZAK HACKETT VS. APOCALYPSE |
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first ... from Parts Unknown ...weighing 250 pounds ...this is APOCALYPSE!!!
"Disposable Teens" hits the sound system and a stream of flames erupt from each side of the Radi-Tron. Apocalypse comes stalking down the ramp carrying a GASOLINE can! He sets it down and pushes it under the ring, then climbs up into the squared circle and poses while more flames shoot up from the ring corners.
Brad: He brought gasoline to the ring!!! He must REALLY want to set someone or something on fire!! That is uncalled for!!
Doc: Heheheheh, it's just intimidation Brad. Get a grip.
Levitan: And his opponent... from The Bronx ...weighing in at 245 pounds ...this is ZAK HACKETT!
"As The World Turns" plays and Zak comes out to a mixed ovation from the crowd. He strolls quickly down the ramp and heads right toward where Apocalypse stashed the gas can.
Brad: Good idea Zak!! Get that can out of here before he hurts someone seriously with it!!
Doc: Ohhh, I don't think it was so smart. That's going to piss Apocalypse right off!
Zak starts to go after the can, but Apocalypse slides out of the ring and cuts him off. Nonplussed, Zak just slugs him across the jaw. Apoc fires back with a shot of his own. The two battle back and forth with punches until Zak rakes Apoc across the eyes and tries to ram his head into the apron. Apoc blocks it and elbows Zak in the ribs. Zak staggers away, clutching his belly. Apoc russian leg sweeps Zak head first into the steel barricade.
Doc: Ouch! See, I told you it was a bad idea!
Apocalypse picks Zak up off the floor and wallops him a couple of times before picking him up and ramming him back first into the steel post. He repeats the manuver, then tosses Zak onto the apron and shoves him under the ropes. He climbs in after him and delivers a couple of sound stomps to Zak's weakened back. Zak writhes in pain and tries to crawl away. Apocalypse picks him up, whips him into the ropes and executes a spinning backbreaker. He stands up and raises his arms in the air, a sneer on his face. The fans aren't particularly impressed and they show it with a torrent of boos. Apoc picks Hackett up once more and slugs him three times. Zak wobbles and sways but doesn't fall ...until Apoc hits the ropes and executes a flying elbow to the jaw, sending Zak to the mat once more. Apocalypse climbs through the ropes and onto the apron, then uses the ropes to catapult himself back into the ring to land atop Zak with a splash. The ref goes to make a count, but Apoc stands up, not going for a cover. He drags Zak to his feet once more and bodyslams him, then climbs to the top rope. But he took too long. Zak manages to get to his feet and grab the man from Parts unknown and dump him unceremoniously to the mat with a press slam. Zak falls to his knees and holds his back as the move took more out of him then he thought it would.
Brad: Zak has taken a real beating between last week and right here in this match. Going headfirst into that table in Portland, he HAS to still be feeling the effects of THAT one.
Doc: Yeah, and that back can't be feeling especially healthy right now either.
Both men struggle to their feet and Zak kicks Apoc in the groin, doubling him over. Zak puts him in a leg scissor and tries to hit a powerbomb, but he can't get him up. He grabs his back and stumbles over to the corner. Apoc shakes his head and charges ...right into Hackett's boot heel. Apoc hits the canvas and Zak climbs to the second rope, coming down with an inverted elbow drop.
DOC: Looks Zak wants to try some German Suplexes right now. Ouch! There goes one!
After hitting Apocalypse with one suplex, Hackett picks up his opponent and delivers a T-Bone Suplex. Immediatley, Hackett stands up again, picks up Apocalypse and delivers a belly-to-belly suplex. As Hackett releases, his face twinges as his back is still feeling the effect of last night's match. He releases Apocalypse a little early, making him end akwardly. As the referee checks out on the status of Apocalypse, Hackett stands back up, holding his back. He limps over the limp wrestler, shoves the referee out of the way, and picks him up by the hair. Then like a shot of light out of darkness, Apocalypse delivers a short, quick, jab to the neck of Hackett. Hackett stumbles backwards and is soon followed by a lariat from an enraged Apocalypse. As he yells at the ear of Hackett, Apocalypse picks him up and delivers a scoop slam to the outside of the ring, sending Hackett to the outside mats. Hackett clutches his back in pain as Apocalypse stands proud over his accomplishments.
DOC: You want to see sick, did you see the way Hackett threw Apocalypse? He could've broke that man's neck!
BRAD: And Apocalypse is pissed off for that miscue. Wait, what is Apocalypse doing? He's bouncing off the ropes...
And leaps through the top and middle rope to hit a diving spear to a standing Hackett. The two men crumple to the ground, with Hackett taking the most of the pain and Apocalypse hitting his head against the ground. The refree begins to count the mandatory ten count. As he counts to 7, Apocalypse gets into the ring and gets back out. By the time Apocalypse gets back to the outside, Hackett is up, woozy. Apocalypse tries another lariat, but misses, and Hackett hitting a roundhouse kick to the back of Apocalypse's head. Apocalypse stumbles and hits the barricade. Hackett grabs him and rolls him back into the ring. However, Hackett doesn't follow Apocalypse, instead, Hackett climbs the ropes and perches at the top rope, waiting for Apocalypse to stand up. As the 6'1 man stands up, Hackett attempts a double-axe handle chop from the top rope. Apocalypse side steps it and grabs Hackett by the neck. Apocalypse lifts up the surprised Hackett and drops him with a huge chokeslam. Hackett's eyes bulge as more waves of pain follow to his lower back region.
BRAD: That back region is really killing Hackett right now!
DOC: Yeah, it looks like an axe is grinding into the lower back of the Axe Man! Hahahahaha, I love my own jokes.
BRAD: I can see why...back to the match. Apocalypse is going to focus more on that back region now. He's applying a simple Boston Crab to add more excrutiating pressure onto that back.
As Apocalypse squats even more, Hackett screams in pain, with the referee asking Hackett if he wants to submit. Hackett refuses and begins to crawl to the ropes. He reaches them and Apocalypse immediatley releases the hold. He begins to stomp on the back of Hackett, sending Hackett to the outside mats again. Apocalypse begins to anticipate the same diving spear again, runs across to the ropes and charges toward Hackett. Hackett seeing this, waits for the last moment and dodges the flying Apocalypse. The man from Parts Unknown dives head first into the outside mats with a loud thud. Hackett quickly rolls back into the ring and climbs the ropes one more time. As he stands there, Apocalypse slowly gets up. Hackett leaps into the air and executes a perfect suicide plancha from the top rope to the outside mat. Apocalypse crumbles to the ground as Hackett feels the side effects of hitting that marvelous manuever.
Brad: Hackett really took a risk right there Doc!
Doc: He sure did, Brad, but it looks like he is in a world of hurt.
Hackett and Apocalypse reach their feet. The two men start slugging it out once more. Hackett knees Apocalypse in the gut and then raises his knee up connecting with Apocalyse's chin. He then takes Apocalypse and throws him into the ring steps. Apocalypse hits the steps with a sickening thud. Hackett takes a charge at him, but Apocalypse gets out of the way and Hackett hits the steps with his knees sending him flying over the steps landing hard on the floor.
Doc: You know Brad, that Zak Hackett is an idiot.
Brad: I think the kid is showing a lot of guts out here tonight after what he endured last week in his match against Baggs.
Hackett is on the ground favoring his left knee. Apocalypse walks over and starts stomping away on Hackett's knee. Hackett starts screaming in pain. Apocalypse then picks Hackett up by the hair. Apocalypse grabs Hackett by the arm and pulls him towards him and nails a massive clothesline. Apocalypse then rolls Hackett into the ring. Apocalypse rolls into the ring himself. Apocalypse covers Hackett.... 1...2....two and a half! Apocalypse is in disbelief. He takes Hackett and throws him into the corner. Hackett nails the corner and falls down on to the mat. Apocalypse walks over and picks Hackett up and places him on to the turnbuckle. Apocalypse lifts him up into the air and brings him down with a superplex. Apocalypse covers 1...2..Hackett puts a foot on the rope!
Doc: What a cheap way to get out of a pin!
Brad: Give the guy some credit!
Hackett rolls out of the ring again and begins walking around still favoring his left knee. Apocalypse rolls out of the ring and nails Hackett in the knee knocking him down on the floor. Apocalypse then exposes the barracade. He picks Hackett up and drops him on to the barracade. Apocalypse laughs at Hackett. Apocalypse goes and grabs a chair. He starts to take a swing at Hackett, but Hackett kicks him in the gut and then DDT's him on the chair. Hackett then rolls into the ring. Apocalypse starts to get up. Apocalypse then sling shots himself over the top rope and nails Apocalypse with a cross body. The two lay there motionless on the floor. The ref starts the ten count 1..2..3..4..5..Hackett gets to his feet..6..7..He picks Apocalypse up and rolls him into the ring to stop the count. Hackett gets up on to the apron. He then sling shots himself back over the top rope and falls on to Apocalypse back first. Hackett rolls him over..1..2..Apocalypse gets a shoulder up.
Brad: I thought Zak had it won there, I really did!
Doc: Well he didn't!
Apocalypse reaches his feet. The two start circling each other. Collar-elbow tie up. Apocalypse sends Hackett into the ring and hits a sidewalk slam. Hackett is wailing in pain. Apocalypse gets up and drops and elbow across Hackett's chest. He covers him 1...2..Hackett kicks out, but barely! Apocalypse sends him into the corner again and tries for a big boot, but Hackett dodges it and nails a neckbreaker of his own. Hackett then runs into the ropes and hits a rolling thunder. Hackett covers Apoc.. 1..2..Apocalypse kicks out! Hackett can't believe it. He then climbs the turnbuckle. Apocalypse gets up. Hackett flies off the top rope, but Apocalypse stops him with a massive clothesline, obviously knocking the wind out of Hackett. Apocalypse then begins to untie the turnbuckle pad while the referee checks on Zak Hackett. Apocalypse grabs Hackett by the hair and starts chopping at his chest.. the crowd wails out with "WOOOOOOOOS!" Apocalypse places Hackett on his shoulder and runs towards the exposed turnbuckle, but Hackett wiggles free and Apocalypse runs into it face first and falls back into a roll up by Zak! The ref counts 1..2..3!
|
Winner of the match by Pinfall: ZAK HACKETT!!! |
Brad: Just goes to show, one little mistake can cost you a match.
Doc: Uh oh! It looks like Hackett may have made a bigger mistake by WINNING the match!
Irate, Apoc picks himself up as Hackett has his hand raised by the referee. He grabs Zak by the back of the head and hits an inverted DDT on him. Then he goes for the gasoline can.
Doc: Looks like we gonna have a weenie roast there Brad!
Brad: Good Lord! Doesn't this man ever think about anything but setting people on fire????
Apoc locates his gas can and slides into the ring. But before he can get it open, BJG comes charging out. Apoc sees him and bails out of the ring. BJG stands over Zak as Apocalypse growls and glares at him. Blackjack tries to bait him into returning, but the man from Parts Unknown will have no part of it. The show goes to commerical as the two stare each other down from afar.
"Sweet Leaf" by Godsmack blasts over the sound system and the crowd goes ballistic.
Doc: Heheh, here comes the FORMER World Champion. Wonder what excuse ol Dopey has for us.
Brad: He won't make any excuses! He lost the belt like a man, and I'm sure he'll come out and act like a man!
Zoo walks out from the curtain with that trademark grin of his. Wearing a "Just Zoo It!" t-shirt and jeans, he makes his way down the ramp to the thunderous ovation from the Sacramento fans. He climbs into the ring and takes the mic from Levitan, then his face suddenly turns serious.
Zoo: Folks, I have an announcement to make. You see, I feel that Kit, Vice, and Highway put me in a dangerous situation last week. They made me go out and risk my neck against a man so wired on caffeine it isn't funny!!! I mean Shawn Dee drank like thirty Mountain Dews before our match! Do you know how dangerous and unpredictable that makes a guy?
The fans calm down and are eerily silent. They cannot believe what they are hearing.
Zoo: So I am leaving and then I'm going to SUE THE RAWF!!! That's right, you heard me! I'm going to sue because the RAWF put me in unecessary danger!! I'm going to call my lawyer and sue this place for everything it's got!!!
Brad: Oh no, not this again! Well, like I said before, RAWF doesn't censor anyone...
Doc: What a crybaby!!! See, I told you he'd have an excuse!!
The fans are murmuring in disbelief. The few scattered boos can be heard. Then suddenly, the grin reappears on Zoo's face.
Zoo: BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNN!!! I got you!!! I got you!! What a burn!!! That was so sweet!!!
The fans slowly begin to laugh and start cheering, realizing what Zoo just did.
Brad: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That was a good one.
Doc: I don't get it, why is that so funny?
Brad: I'll explain it to you later.
Zoo: But in all seriousness folks. I came out here to congratulate Shawn Dee for an excellent win! Dude, I hope we meet up again somewhere down the road, cause I do want a rematch. And also I wanted to tell you folks about wha..
Suddenly, a dark figure wearing a hooded sweatshirt crawls out from underneath the ring and slides under the ropes. Zoo turns around, but is too late to dodge the lariat the hooded man delivers. Zoo hits the canvas and the mic goes flying out of his hand. The man pulls back his hood and sneers at Zoo's prone form.
Brad: MY GOD! IT'S RYNE BLOOD! RYNE BLOOD HAS RETURNED!!!
Doc: He just made my night!!!
Ryne drags Zoo to his feet and executes an END GAME!!! Zoo writhes and convulses on the mat. Ryne leaves the ring and grabs a chair, tossing it into the ring. He grabs Zoo again and gives him another End Game RIGHT ON THE CHAIR! Zoo lies motionless, saliva running down his chin. Ryne picks up the microphone and gets down in Zoo's face.
Ryne: THOUGHT YOU HAD SEEN THE LAST OF ME DID YOU STINKY?? Oh, you laid me out for a few weeks, but I'm back and I when I get paybacks I TIP THE WAITER!! That means you ARE finished! You are going to want to sue the RAWF alright, maybe even sue me. But I don't give a damn!! Tonight, your career ENDS!!
Ryne tosses the mic away and picks Zoo up once more.
Brad: He wants to end Zoo's career!!! Zoo didn't injure HIM on purpose!!
Doc: Heheh, you try to tell him, because I'm not.
Ryne is just about to give Zoo another End Game, when a fan from the crowd jumps over the railing and slides into the ring.
Brad: HEY! That's .... that's.... THAT'S NICK CLAFFEY!!!!!
Doc: Who?
Brad: The newest addition to RAWF and a helluva wrestler!
Doc: Who?
As the fans go nuts, Claffey clubs Ryne on the back of the head with a forearm. Ryne lets go of Zoo, who slumps back to the canvas. Claffey spins Ryne around and wallops him with four punches, then a spinning roundhouse that knocks Blood down and sends him rolling out of the ring for cover. Ryne glares at Claffey and points to him, then points to himself as he backs up the ramp. Claffey grabs the mic.
Claffey: Hey Ryne! If you are out to remake a name for yourself, you're gonna have to get by ME first. If you have any REAL guts at all, come to Philadelphias Freedom and let me whip your ass!
Ryne bellows out his acceptance, then sneers and returns through the curtain as EMTS rush into the ring. Claffey and the paramedics start checking on Zoo.
Brad: Thank God for the Clafftastic One!! But I don't know if we will be seeing Zoo for awhile...
Doc: Claffey just bit off more than he can chew! And ..awwwww, that's too bad about Dopey. Oh well, that's the nature of the beast. Heheheheh.
BIG KAHUNA & ?????
VS.
SHAWN DEE & THOMAS HIGHWAY |
Levitan: The following contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first....
"Right/Wrong" blasts over the arena. The Mountain Dew logo along with EE's logo flashes over the Radi-tron.
Levitan: From Atlanta, Georgia ...... weighing 256 pounds ...he is the RAWF World Heavyweight Champion .... he is "SENSATIONAL" SHAWN DEE!!!!
Wearing the World Heavyweight Championship proudly around his waist, Shawn Dee steps through the curtain and onto the stage, brandishing a can of Dew. He pops the top and eagerly chugs it back. Once finished, he wipes is mouth, belches, and tosses the can into the crowd. He strolls down the ramp, climbs into the ring, removes the belt, and climbs the top rope holding it up above his head. The crowd reaction is mixed, but the fan support is obviously there.
Doc: The new champion has obviously impressed all his doubters! I can hear more and more fans respecting hiim lately!!
Brad: If it wasn't for the company the man keeps, he might actually be treated with MORE respect!
Doc: What's wrong with the company he keeps??? He hangs with the best damn champion the RAWF has ever had!!
Levitan: And his partner ....from Elmhurst, Illlinois....... weighing 205 pounds ...he is RAWF Comissioner... THOMAS HIGHWAY!
"Life is a Highway" plays and the Comissioner steps through the curtain wearing jeans and a blue tank top. Behind him is Seven, wearing black a black denim miniskirt and jacket. Highway smirks and strolls down the ramp as the fans jeer him. He climbs into the ring and does some comical looking jumping jacks, then makes a show of checking the ropes. Seven applauds.
Doc: Wow! The Comissioner seems to be in pretty good shape!! I feel sorry for the poor bastard that Kahuna has as his partner! I think Thomas is going to wipe the floor with him!
Brad: Do you now? Kind of a bold statement when you haven't even seen who it is!
Doc: Call it intuition.
Highway's music fades and the first notes of "Freedom Fighter" by Creed shake the arena.
Levitan: And their opponents ...first, from Honolulu, Hawaii ....weighing 284 pounds ...this is BIG KAHUNA!!!
Kahuna steps through the curtain to a hug ovation. He grins and walks down the ramp, slapping hands with fans and even giving a young man in a wheelchair a hug. He climbs into the ring and stares down Highway.
Brad: Can you imagine what will happen to Highway if Kahuna gets his hands on him tonight??
Doc: Kahuna should be worried about being in the ring with the World Champion!! Something he never has much luck in, in similar situations ... heheheheh. Okay ...time to find out who this big bad mystery partner is!!
Levitan: Annnnnnnnnnd his partner!!
A silence falls over the arena. The Radi-tron goes dark .... Kahuna's face is unreadable as he looks to the curtain.
Doc: Come on! Come on!! What, did the guy chicken out???
Suddenly, "American Woman" by Lenny Kravitz plays ... and Jessica Beach steps out from the curtain.
Doc: OH ...MY ... GOD! He CAN'T be serious!!! JESSICA???
Brad: It appears that way.
Jessica, dressed in unusual attire for a wrestling match .... a slinky low cut minidress ....walks down the ramp toward the ring.
Doc: She's not even dressed to wrestle!! Oh, this is going to be fun, she doesn't stand a cha .... hey, where's she going?
Jessica walks AROUND the ring and over to the announcer's table. She sits down next to Doc on the other side of Brad and puts on a headset.
Jessica: Hello Doc, I'm looking forward to working with you here.
Doc: Huh?? But if YOU'RE here ... then..
Brad suddenly stands up, takes off his head set, and removes his jacket. Underneath, he is wearing a tank top. His arms and shoulder remind one of a Vince McMahon-like physique.
Doc: HOLY SH..
Levitan: From Salt Lake City, Utah ...weighing 189 pounds ...this is BRAD BAXTER!!!!
Brad climbs into the ring as Highway and Dee goggle at him in disbelief. Kahuna slaps him on the back and the two start talking strategy.
Jessica: Wow, Brad looks like he works out quite regularly! This should be the most interesting tag match we've ever encountered thus far in RAWF!
Doc: I... I mean .... Brad ...
Jessica: Great analysis Doc. You really hit the nail on the head with that one.
The referee calls for the bell. Brad climbs through the ropes and Kahuna stands ready to fight. Highway makes a big show of arguing with Dee about who will start the match, but eventually "relents" to Dee's insistence that he start the match. Highway climbs out and grabs the tag rope. Dee and Kahuna circle each other, then lock up into a collar and elbow tie up. They grapple and struggle with each other for a minute before Kahuna growls and shoves Dee off and to the mat. Dee lands on his backside and winces. He looks up at Kahuna who waggles a finger at him. Dee gives him a slight grin, then gets up and the two lock up again. Kahuna turns it into a headlock. Dee shoves him off into the ropes. Dee tries a clothesline, but BK ducks it and continues on past. Kahuna shoulderblocks Dee to the canvas on the return. BK launches himself back off the ropes. Dee gets up only to receive a second shoulderblock. Dee hits the canvas once more. Kahuna goes to launch himself once more near Dee's corner and Highway hits him with a knee to the back. Kahuna turns around, hardly phased by it at all, just angered. He grabs Highway by the throat. Dee gets up and double axe handles him from behind. Kahuna lets go of the Comissioner and Dee spins him around and clocks him with a couple of right hands. Kahuna slumps into the corner. The referee gets between them and forces Dee away. Highway takes that opportunity to wrap the tag rope around Kahuna's neck and pull for all he's worth. This time, Highway's antics have some effect as Kahuna gasps and struggles to get air. Highway releases Kahuna as the ref turns back around. Dee pulls Kahuna out of the corner and bodyslams him to the canvas. Highway raises his arm and calls for Dee to tag. Dee walks over and does so. Highway climbs through the ropes.
Doc: Here we go!! The wrestling debut of Thomas Highway!! What kind of arsenal does this great mind possess??
Highway kneels down and grabs Kahuna around the throat and starts choking him. The ref counts to four and Highway releases and stands up. Then he walks over and tags Dee back in.
Jessica: Oh, very impressive. NOT!
