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VS. BO DACIOUS & MICKYSKIMINS |
Levitan: The following contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall. Already in the ring, weighing a combined 432 pounds ... the team of BO DACIOUS AND MICKYSKIMINS!
The crowd boos the two men, who tell a few at ringside what they can do with that finger. Showered with hate, the two men get to the ring and await their opponents.
Levitan: And their opponents..
"Mr. Scary" by Dokken plays.
Levitan: From Parts Unknown ... with a combined weight of 611 pounds .... the team of DEATH AND TAXES.... THE INEVITABLES!!!
The two rather large individuals strut to the ring. Although no one knows much about them so far, many in the crowd cheer, as they are the lesser of two evils in this match. Some look at them with curiosity, while others snap pictures. They attempt to go up the steps, but Micky and Bo stop them. Trying to go to another side of the ring, Bo and Mickey make sure to be there to greet them.
Brad: The duo of 'Skimins and Dacious are in no mood to have their opponents in the ring. Are they just scared, or is this a ploy?
Doc: Hey, don't knock it. If they don't let those guys in the ring, they can't get beat can they?
Death grabs Bo by the legs and drags him out of the ring. Micky, seeing Bo in trouble, sprints over to help, giving Taxes time to get in the ring. Before Micky can dive out of the ring and save Dacious, Taxes stops him, spins him around, and clotheslines him to the mat. The ref tries to stop the melee outside of the ring and get some order to the tag match which hasn't officially started yet. Death tenderizes Bo with a series of punches and chops which culminate into a posting. You can almost hear the "gong" of Bo's head as he slams into the steel. Not letting up, he throws him into the steps that The Inevitables were not allowed to use before. A pile of beaten humanity. Bo lays there, bleeding. Taxes, meanwhile, has picked up Micky and nearly suplexed him out of his boots. A few fans that had considered this a "restroom match" decide to check it out after all and return to their seats. Grabbing 'Skimins again, he slaps on a belly to belly suplex, rocking the youngster. Death gets into the ring now, as the ref checks on Bo. Taxes hold Micky up while his 6'10" partner sends haymakers into the poor guys stomach and face. Working quickly to do more damage before the ref gets back into the ring, The Inevitables let their hapless opponent drop and stomp a mudhole into him, and yes, walk it dry. Death picks up Micky and powerbombs him to the mat as Taxes comes down with a flying headbutt. Getting into the ring, the ref starts yelling at the two men, but they are busy beating up 'Skimins rather efficiently. Bo Dacious crawls to his corner from the outside and sags on the apron. Taxes picks up Micky and hoists him off the ground. Holding him up by the waist, Taxes has him perfectly positioned as Death comes running with a big boot. The ref orders Death the hell out of the ring, citing that he has just earned himself a fine. Death holds up his hands in a "Who me?" gesture as Taxes continues to punch, chop and headbutt his semi-conscious opponent.
Doc: You know, I hear that the Ineviatbles had a valet once...
Brad: Oh yeah? That's interesting, where is she now? What's her name?
Doc: I believe her name was "Sagging Boobs."
Brad: Will you stop? I can't believe I fell for that garbage...
Doc: What? Those are Inevitable, too...hehehe
Brad: Lets just call the action!
Doc: Call the action? Are you watching the same thing I am...the match hasn't started yet. Bo and Micky are getting mugged, but I don't see a match, anywhere.
Death gets out of the ring and stays in his corner. The ref then glares at Taxes, who releases his chokehold, allowing Micky to drop to the mat. Both men look at the ref and Death says, "Now what?" Finally getting control, but at a heavy price for Bo and Micky, the ref does the only thing he can do...call for the opening bell. Taxes immediately jumps on 'Skimins, picking him up and propping him on the top turnbuckle. Death scales another turnbuckle. From the top rope, "Mister 1040" delivers a German suplex he calls the "Audit." As Micky comes crashing down, Death leaps high into the air, and in perfect timing, hits 'Skimins with a "Sickle of Fate," legdrop. Death then rolls out of the ring and starts working over Bo again. Taxes rolls over and covers micky, hooking a leg in the process. The ref doesn't want to, but he makes the count, anyway...1-2-3!
Doc: That was nice of Bo and Micky to spar with these guys, let them practice their finisher...
Brad: That was the whole match? The bell sounds and these guys hit their finisher? The ref gave too much leeway at the beginning, before the bell. He should have disqualified these guys at the outset.
Doc: Puh-LEASE! Why don't we just put skirts on our wrestlers, then. Let them fight. If Bo and Micky had of just let them in the ring, the ref would have has order from the beginning, and we would have had a "normal" match.
Brad: Didn't you applaud that startegy earlier? Wait a minute...looks like The Inevitables are up to some extracurricular activities.
Death gives Bo some forearm smashes and throws him back into the ring. Taxes takes victim number two and props him on the turnbuckle. 1040's partner scales the turnbuckle again...Bo knows what Micky went through as the Audit and Sickle of Fate are applied to him, as well. Stomping him a few times, they drag his body and place it on top of Micky. The Inevitables both climb a turnbuckle. Death flies through the air and splashes the pile of opponents. Taxes repeats the process. Pleased with themselves, they leave the ring area as the army of refs make it down...Looking at the camera, both men gesture to their waists as if to say, "The belts are coming here!" The powerful team then exit to backstage.
Brad: An easy night for The Inevitables.
Doc: They better not get used to that, because the Tag Champs are a whole new level than the guys they faced tonight... We have some guys that can give them a fight! Until then, though, the Inevitables should savor the victory!
DEATH AND TAXES THE INEVITABLES |
In the backstage area, we see John Patrick standing in front of a door, pacing back and forth. After a little while of doing that, the door opens, and "The Innovator" Josh Swanson walks in the door to a pop from the crowd. He sees John and they hit fists.
Josh: I take it that it's still on?
John: Oh yeah..it's still on. But I gotta tell you something else about the plan.
Josh: What's that?
John looks at the camera, and then back at Josh.
John: I'll tell you in my locker room, let's go.
They disappear into Patrick's dressing room.
Elsewhere in the back, we see Mickyskimins and Bo Dacious trudging back from the ring, sulking over their defeat, when Kit comes up to them, holding a quarter between her fingers.
Kit: Nice match boys, very nice try. You boys do look worn. You look like you could use a vacation.
Bo: Yeah, that would be bloody lovely. I definitely could use a break. Get my wits about me.
Mickyskimins: Yeah, me too.
Kit: Well, I'll tell you what boys. I can afford to give ONE of you a vacation. We'll flip this coin here, and whomever wins the flip gets a nice vacation to recharge the old batteries. What do you say?
Both men nod their heads in agreement.
Kit: Alright, Bo ... you call it.
Bo: Tails.
Kit flips the coin in the air and catches it. She slaps it against her wrist and lifts her hand. The quarter shows tails.
Kit: Sorry Micky, guess this just isn't your day.
Micky walks away muttering curses under his breath as Bo grins and rubs his hands together at the thought of a well deserved rest. Kit motions to someone off screen and two police officers walk up to flank Bo.
Kit: Officers, would you please escort Mr. Dacious out of the building and out of my company?
Bo: W-w-w what???
Kit: Oh, did I forget to mention the vacation is PERMANENT?? I'm sorry, must of slipped my mind. YOUR FIRED!!
The two officers grab Bo by the armpits and drag him away kicking and cursing. Kit laughs and shakes her head.
Kit: I love this job!! Being boss is almost as good as .... ahem. Heheheheheh.
Kit walks off screen smiling like a chesire cat.
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall ... introducing first ... from Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.... weighing 237 pounds .... JEFFERY MANSON !
"Down With The Sickness" by Disturbed fires up and he stumbles down to the ring clutching his signature hammer, Mommy. Getting the business from the fans, he bangs Mommy against his title belt, and makes rude gestures to the people at ringside. He slides into the ring, slumps in a corner, and rocks back and forth with Mommy.
Levitan: And his opponent ...led toward the ring by Carl Sabre..... from Honolulu, Hawaii.... weighing 284 pounds ... this is BIG KAHUNA!!
"The Mob Rules" by Black Sabbath replaces "Down With The Sickness"and to a loud chorus of cheers, the Hawaiian native walks to the ring, posing and showing off a physique that has helped him become the number one contender. Carl Sabre is in tow right behind him.
Doc: How do you see this one going Brad? On one hand, we have the guy who will battle Dirge for the Heavyweight Title. On the other side is the Ironman champ, who is...eccentric to say the least. I call it an even bout.
Brad: What? No jokes? You feeling alright? I will say that I don't think this is an even bout. That jackass Jeffery Manson will get out that hammer and ruin this match at some point. I bet on it.
Doc: You getting all fired up because he looks to a little "parental support" during his matches?...hehe
Brad: Now that's more like you...the bell has rung, and here we go...
The competitors lock up, and Kahuna takes control via his strength and weight advantage. Getting Manson in a headlock, he wrenches his neck, and slams a few shots to his exposed forehead. Manson slips out and tries to whip him into the ropes. Reversing it, Kahuna whips the Mad Man into the ropes and back-body drops his opponent onto the mat. Manson springs to his feet and is met with some knife edge chops. As customary, the fans immediately start saying, "Whooo," with every blistering smack of his chest. B.K. picks Mad Man up and slams him down. Picking him up again, Manson thrusts the big man in the throat, drawing a reprimand from the ref. As Kahuna gasps for air, Manson has it "his way," and bites the Hawaiian in the forehead. The ref counts 1-2-3-4 he stops the bite. Blood starts to drip down from his forehead, and Manson clamps down again...1-2-3-4 break! The ref informs Manson that if he does it again, the match will be over via disqualification. Mad Man opens his mouth in defiance, but doesn't go through with the third bite. Raking the Number One Contender in the eyes, he whips him in the ropes, and and slams a fist in his stomach, causing him to bend over, then the Ironman champion follows up by slamming Kahuna's head down further onto his raised knee. Reeling, Kahuna tries to get his hands up in a defensive posture, but the Ironman clubs him in his bloody forehead, sending him to the canvas.
Brad: Manson is trying every dirty trick in the book, I'm just waiting for Mommy to surface...
Doc: Relax, he doesn't have the hammer with him, yet. Besides, if Kahuna can't handle the Ironman champion, what hope does he have with the World Champ. When it comes to "dirty," Dirge has no peer...
Manson, smelling blood, gets out of the ring, and gets a chair. Climbing to the top rope, he starts waving the chair and muttering incoherently. The ref gives him the business and threatens to DQ him right then and there. Dropping the chair into the ring, the Mad Man gets ready to jump on the prone Kahuna. Kicking the chair out of the ring, the ref doesn't notice Carl Sabre pushing the maniacal Manson off the top rope, and crashing down beside B.K. Wobbly, Kahuna gets to his feet and drops an elbow on Manson. Rolling over, he puts his opponents head in vise-like grip, and cinches in a sleeper hold. As Kahuna leans on the prone Manson, the maniac must deal with not only his own weight, but Kahuna's weight, too. After a few moments, the ref picks up Manson's hand, and it...drops. He picks up Manson's hand again, and it...drops. One last time, he picks up the hand...and it stays up. Manson gets to his feet, dragging Kahuna along in a Herculean effort. Giving Kahuna a few elbows, B.K. breaks the hold, and hunches over from the shots to the breadbasket. Manson runs the ropes, but is surprised when he is met by Kahuna and a tremendous spinebreaker. Staying down, Manson is picked up and suplexed. This process is repeated, and B.K. makes the cover...1-2-kickout! Picking him up, he brings Mad Man down on his knee, backbreaker style. He goes for a cover again...1-2-kickout. Giving him a few shots to the head, Kahuna decides to that turnabout is appropriate, and he bites Manson in the forehead. The ref counts 1-2-3-4-breaks the bite!
Brad: Great. Manson is rubbing off on other wrestlers. This is just what we need.
Doc: Listen, Mary...that's called payback, and its a bitch for Mad Man right now.
Brad: We just lost a sponsor, there...And why did you call me Mary?
Doc: You figure it out. As far as my language goes, this isn't a cartoon, this is wrestling!
The ref gives Kahuna some hell for his bite, and Manson rolls out of harms way. Getting to his feet, he ducks the charging Hawaiian, and the attempted clothesline that would've dropped his head in the seventh row. Giving B.K. a little payback, he jabs a few rights into Kahuna's face, followed with a hard left to the temple. Dazed, but not out of it, Kahuna joins the punching contest. Slugging back and forth, B.K. gets the advantage again, courtesy of a head butt. The advantage is short lived, when as Kahuna tries another clothesline, which is ducked again. Kahuna springs off the ropes and into a kick and double arm DDT. Crashing down, B.K. is immediately put into a Crippler Crossface. Painfully, the Hawaiian inches his way to the ropes...and is pulled away at the last second. Breaking the Crossface, Manson apllies a Camel Clutch. Screaming in pain, Kahuna raises his hands, then drops it down to tap...only to stop just short of the mat. Stretching out his hand, he moves Manson just enough to where he can finally grab the bottom rope. The ref makes Mad Man break the hold, but he stomps Kahuna nevertheless. Picking up Kahuna, he tries to whip him in the ropes, but it is reversed, and B.K. whips his opponent OVER the top rope, to the floor below.
Brad: I have a bad feeling about this...
Doc: You get a bad feeling everytime you show up for work...wait a minute...I get a bad feeling everytime you show up for work...
Brad: Will you stop? Wait! Look! I knew it!
Manson crawls under the ring and retrieves Mommy. Brandishing it high, he gets on the apron...and gets dropkicked. Mommy goes flying, and Kahuna goes after it. Getting out of the ring in a hurry, Kahuna reaches the hammer at about the same time as Manson. As the two start their insane tug of war for the hammer, the ref threatens to DQ BOTH of them. Kahuna kicks Manson, but he wont let go. Manson kicks Kahuna, but Kahuna wont let go. The ref gets out of the ring, and threatens to fine them...Kahuna lets go. Manson, who was pulling with all of his might, suddenly finds himself pinwheeling his arms and falling backward quickly. Stumbling to the floor, Manson falls flat. Kahuna and the ref get into the ring, and a count starts...1-2-3-4-5-6-7-Manson gets back in. The Hawaiian pounces on the Ironman champion, presses him and heaves his opponent halfway across the ring. Grabbing Manson again, he props him on his right shoulder in preparation for a running powerslam...
Brad: What the hell...who the hell...it's DIRGE coming down the ramp. He is supposed to be injured...he wasn't supposed to be here tonight, damnit!
Doc: Watch your language...aren't you worried about our sponsors...
Brad: Just...Why don't you...aren't you...forget it...somebody tell Kahuna that Dirge is coming...
Kahuna hits the Rainbow Slam on Manson. Going for the cover, he is surprised when the ref doesn't count. Looking over, he sees that the ref has tried to intercept Dirge. Throwing the zebra aside, Dirge brandishes a chair and dents it deeply on Kahuna's skull. Repeatedly cracking B.K. in the head, Dirge picks up Kahuna and powerbombs him on the chair. Manson gets to his feet to help damage Kahuna, but Dirge kicks Kahuna off the chair, grabs Manson, and piledrives him on the chair. The ref calls for the bell...
Brad: Someone needs to get down here and control that beast...where's Highway? Where's Kit and Vice? Somebody stop this!
BIG KAHUNA |
Dirge calls for the microphone and somebody throws it to him. He stands over Kahuna's battered body, the Number One Contender laying on his back with blood trickling down his face. Dirge looks down at him with an evil smirk, then reaches down and slaps him really hard across the face. Kahuna's head violently jerks to the right then lays flat, facing the same way. When he finally speaks his voice bears an eeries resemblance to what evil clowns and giddy serial killers are often thought to sound like.
Dirge: Hiya Burger King...guess who ?! I'm baaAAck ! I always wanted to say that. Anyway the only man in this company who has the talent to hold this title belt has returned and that man just so happens to be me so guess what rook...you're life, what little of it there is at any rate, is about to get a whole lot less enjoyable !
Dirge slaps him again just for the hell of it then violently shakes him, his head thrown back and forth roughly. Finally Dirge stops and stares him straight in the eyes.
Dirge: I've been watching you rook. You've gotten goddamned cocky since I left to recoup from that minor injury. I have advice for you and it would be in your best interest to heed it.... The advice is very simple...only act like you're king of the hill when you know the real king is dead. Don't send out object lessons and that which you consider threats, especially not if they are directed at me. First of all I don't scare easily and second of all we both know that I can cripple you if I want to. I've shown in the past that you lack the skills, experience and toughness to beat me so I really do think it would be in your best interest to get all of this through your thick skull.
He laughs to himself then gets right into Kahuna's face, close enough so that his breath is blowing right in Kahuna's eyes. He speaks to him through gritted teeth and in a very vicious and threatening tone of voice.
Dirge: As far as losing that tag match goes it's a non issue now, so all of you who seem to think that it means something against my career can forget it. Accidents happen and Erik and I have already addressed it with Matt. He has apologized and we accepted, as well as giving him the phone number to a good psychiatrist in Las Vegas. The issue is dead. If Danny Statlplowski, or whatever the hell his name is, thinks he's something special because he got the pinfall on me he is welcome to give it another shot. This time it will end like it should have the first time, I promise everyone that. I'm back Burger King and I'm going to make you and every other two bit punk "wrestler" here understand that I'm the top of the food chain around here. You get your last shot at my World Heavyweight Title at Unleashed. You'd better make the most of it, because if you don't you'll never get near this belt again. You'll be stuck warring with third rate burnouts like Korben, Orian and John Patrick over the Television Title. Bring your "A" game rook because if you ...
While Dirge is talking, his attention totally on Kahuna, Danny Szatkowski comes running down the ramp and slides into the ring. However, the fans gave Danny away and Dirge drops the mic and turns around just in time to avoid a dropkick attempt by Danny. Dirge wastes little time, he grabs Danny and gives him a Soul Auctioneer!!!
Brad: MY GOD! CAN ANYONE STOP THIS MAN???
Dirge stands over Danny, smacking him around, giving him hell, just like he did Kahuna. Meanwhile, Carl Sabre, who has been skulking outside the ring this whole time is spurred into action. He grabs Mommy from the floor and slides it into the ring to Kahuna, who shakes off the cobwebs, grabs the sledgehammer and slowly gets to his feet. Hearing the crowd again, Dirge looks up and realizes Kahuna has the sledgehammer, and quickly bails out of the ring, just BARELY in time. As a bleeding Kahuna glares at him in the ring, Dirge looks at the carnage he has left behind and laughs, then walks up the ramp and disappears.. Kahuna drops the sledgehammer on Manson, then checks on Danny.
The camera pans to the hallway in back. The Iron Chef is holding court over a huge cart full of pastries, pies, cakes, and assorted other goodies. Jessica Beach just happens to pick that moment to walk by.
Jessica: Oooooooh, Chef! You have out done yourself!! This food smells wonderful!!!
Chef: Please Jessica, have something! Anything at all! I'm just so pleased to finally be back in RAWF, I wanted to make something special ... well a LOT of them ... to celebrate.
Jessica: Well, there goes my diet. But you might want to hide this cart from Frank.
Jessica takes a danish and murmurs "mmmmmm" as the Chef watches and smiles. The camera pans down the hall and we see Tony Marduck peeking around the corner with an evil look, then quickly disappears.
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall ... introducing first ... from Dickson, Tenn.... weighing 240 pounds .... XAVIER CROSS!
"Around The World" by Union Underground is keyed up over the system and Xavier Cross comes out to the boos and catcalls he so richly deserves. Wearing long pants with a Xavier Cross logo on the sides, black boots, and a netted sleeveless shirt, he saunters to the ring like he owns the place. Bedecked with a pair of sunglasses, he climbs the steps and enters the ring.
Levitan: And his opponent ... from Wichita, KS.... weighing 252 pounds ... this is JOHN PATRICK !!
"Not Falling" by Mudvayne seems to change the mood of the crowd instantly. John Patrick comes out to the roar of the fans, wearing black trunks with Legend written on the back in gold and looking for all intents and purposes...cocky. Brimming with confidence, The Legend by Design makes his way down the ramp to enter into combat with his opponent.
Doc: I wonder who the crowd is behind? The Legend is getting his props, and Xavier is getting some hell...
Brad: I'm just hoping for a good match, but I think we may have a couple of visitors to this party>
Doc: I don't see it that way...Jango and Swanson have faith in their partners. This will be a clean match.
Brad: Optimistic, tonight, aren't you?
The bell rings and Xavier charges Patrick, but JP puts him down with a single-leg trip. Rolling out of the way of a knee drop, Cross springs up and puts the boots to Patrick. JP grabs his leg and trips him again, this time slapping on an ankle lock. Still fresh, Xavier lunges and gets a hold of the ropes. The ref calls for the break, and the two get to their feet. The combatants lock up, and JP takes advantage. Scooping him up, he slams down Xavier hard. Bending down to grab him, Xavier counters with an eye rake, followed by a spin that puts him in position to kick JP in the head. Reeling, JP staggers back into the ropes as Xavier gets to his feet. Patrick bounces back off the ropes and clotheslines Cross to the ground. Xavier tries to get to his feet, but Patrick stomps his hand, which causes one half of the Cross Connection to flatten out on the mat. Dropping an elbow, The Legend by Design grabs a leg, turns him over and applies a step-over toe hold. A few wrenches later, and Xavier is in pain, trying to get to the ropes. Bending down, JP grabs the other leg, and turns himover in a Boston Crab. The ref asks Cross if he gives up, he shouts "hell, no!" And makes a reference about the referee's mother. Struggling, Cross manages to pull Patrick over to the ropes. After the break, Cross rolls out and takes a breather.
Brad: Patrick getting the best of him right now, but don't count out Cross yet. Both seem well prepared for this match, but JP is just a little faster at this moment.
Doc: I wouldn't say that yet, it may turn out the way the Inevitables match did...totally one sided!
The ref makes the count...1-2-3-4-5...Xavier slides in and back out again. The ref starts up again...1-2-3-4-5-6-7...Xavier rolls into the ring and starts to roll out when Patrick grabs him by the hair and drags him to the center of the ring. Xavier takes umbrage at this and grabs his leg, tripiing JP. Getting ahold of Patrick's legs, Cross wastes no time slingshotting him into the ropes, he bounces off of the ropes into a backslide. The ref makes the count...1-2-kickout! Xavier starts punching and kicking. The Legend blocks some, takes some. Firing back, John hits some punches of his own. Getting the wrong end of the deal, Cross locks up and whips him into the ropes, where he dropkicks Patrick over the tope rope. Following through, he leaps over the ropes himself, and slams down on JP as the legend hits the guard rail. Injurying himself as well as Patrick, both men lay motionless on the floor.
Doc: Just when Xavier "woke up," he knocked himself out...
Brad: He has a high-risk wrestling style. To him, it was "no guts, no glory." I'd hate to see a count-out, though.
The ref counts...1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-Xavier rolls into the ring and back out. As the ref starts over, he kicks Patrick in the side, stands him up, then nails a spinning heel kick. 4-5-6- Cross grabs JP and hip-tosses him down...7-8-9- Cross rolls back in and rolls back out, stopping the count. Sighing, the ref starts again. Cross gets the Legend to his feet and positions him for a powerbomb. Sitting up, Patrick backbody drops him onto the floor. 5-6-7- Patrick stomps him, takes a chair from ringside, and lays it down flat on the floor...8-9-1---John barely makes it in on time as he rolls in and back out, causing the poor ref to start over. Cursing openly, the ref yells at them to bring it back to the ring, or else. Ignoring him totally, Patrick waits until he staggers to his feet, grabs him, and perform a Russian Leg Sweep, sending Xavier straight down to the chair. The fans "oohh" at the clanging of Cross on chair.
Doc: The way these guys are going at it, you'd think they had a "Falls Count Anywhere" match tonight.
Brad: The ref has gotten fed up, we may get a double DQ, if they aren't careful!
3-4-5-Grabbing Xavier again, JP gives him an old fashioned body slam on the chair...6-7-8-JP rolls Cross into the ring...8-1--Patrick just beats the count again. Patrick drags Cross up to his knees, but before he can get him all the way up, Xavier, in desperation, hits a "jawbreaker," sending Patrick to the mat, and Cross falls forward for a breather. Not letting him rest long, the Legend stomps, elbows and knees Cross until properly tenderized, then he mounts the top rope and jumps in a high arc...but only gets about a quarter of Xavier's body. Cross rolled with everything he had left, but didn't quite get out of the way. It was enough to injure Patrick slightly, and he struggles to his feet. Xavier uses the ropes to get up himself, but as soon as he stands up, albeit leaning on the top rope, the Legend comes storming down on him, clotheslining him over the top rope. The momentum carries JP over, too. Both men land hard and stay motionless. the ref counts again...1-2-3-
Doc: Here we go again...
Brad: Not quite...look! I knew it!
Jango Cross comes running from the back. He jumps in the ring and stops the count. The ref starts to order him out of the arena when Swanson comes barrelling down the ramp. The ref slides down and intercepts Swanson. Jango slides out the opposite way and grabs his weapon of choice, and hits Patrick with a few chair shots. Denting in the chair, he rolls Patrick in the ring, then his brother. By this time, Swanson started back up the ramp to get the ref off his back, so the zebra would start paying attention to Jango. Looking back, he sees the ref telling Jango to leave, and so he turns around and hauls it back. Before the ref turns around, Swanson ducks under the ring, and out of sight...The referee gets in Jango's face. The two have a heated discussion, and it goes back and forth. Patrick gets to his feet, looks, and performs a sliding dropkick which hits Jango, who was right next to the ring. The ref unfortunately ended up on the other side of Jango during the course of their "debate," so Cross collapses on the zebra, who goes down like a ton of bricks, and is out cold. Jango gets up, furious, and tries to climb back in the ring, when Swanson's hands appear out from under the ring, grabs Cross' legs, and trips him down. Quickly, Josh moves over to Jango's position and starts hitting him with lefts and rights. Inside the ring, Patrick has become distracted by watching the outside activities. Xavier sneaks up behind him and hits an inverted DDT. Xavier makes the cover, and the fans make the count...1-2-3-4-5-6-7---since no ref is making the count, Xavier starts hitting the mat in frustration. Looking to see where the ref is, Xavier notices Swanson and his brother battling outside by the announcer's table. Attempting to climb out, revive the ref, and help his brother, he starts to climb through the ropes. The Legend stops him, pulls him back, spins him around, kicks him in the gut, and hits a pedigree. Swanson and Jango continue to pound each other as the ref gets to his feet and gets inside the ring. JP makes the cover, and the ref makes a slow count...1------2------kickout!
Brad: Good Lord! I thought that was it!
Doc: Yeah, you, me, the fans, and even the hot dog vendor thought that was over...
Patrick can't believe it wasn't a three count. Grabbing Xavier, he picks him up for a slam, Xavier slips out, up and over him, lands behind JP and grabs him around the waist. Stomping his foot, kicking the inside of his knee, The Legend escapes, whips around, then grabs Xavier around the waist. Executing a German suplex, JP bridges up, putting Xavier in a perfect pinning predicament. The ref counts...1--2--3! JP jumps out to help Swanson, who is going back and forth with J.C. The two start to double team Cross, but Xavier flies out of the ring with a plancha moonsault, knocking everyone down. A swarm of referees come out from the back, and the four men are escorted from the ringside area.
Brad: I have a feeling we are going to see this very same thing again later...
Doc: It'll be deja vu all over again..
Brad: Thanks, Yogi.
JOHN PATRICK |
The lights go out all across the arena as "Cochise" by Audioslave starts up. As the drum beat gets louder, the anticipation grows in the audience. A flashing light reverberates from the rafters until the guitar kicks in. Once it does, a large explosion sounds out causing the crowd to erupt in cheers. Scott Briggs steps through the curtain and into the arena.
Doc: Who the heck is this chump?
Brad: Scott Briggs, a fine young athlete from Baltimore, Maryland! Just signed earlier this week.
He�s dressed in a black, sleeveless shirt emblazoned in the slogan "All Business, No Gimmick" in spraypaint style writing, black designer jeans and boots. His long, black shoulder-length, straggly hair falls across his face as he salutes the crowd with both arms aloft. Briggs makes his way slowly down the aisle, slapping the hands of the fans along the way. He has a smile across his face that you wonder could be removed even if a surgeon took a knife to it. When he reaches the ringside, he slides underneath the bottom rope and circles the ring for a while before requesting for the microphone. The music cuts out and Briggs allows the cheers to die down before beginning to speak.
Briggs: Thank you, thank you. You�ve been so kind. But before I let your reception go to my head, I think I should get down to talking about business. The business I�m here to change forever.
Crowd cheers again and Briggs pauses to run his fingers across his unshaven complexion.
Briggs: That�s right. Less than forty-eight hours ago, I was just another wannabe wrestler trying to find his footing in the mat game and now here I am, standing in front of all you wonderful people, the newest member of the RAWF. Now, and it�s only in my humble opinion, I don�t think that those in charge of this federation could have made a better decision than to sign the hottest young rookie sensation to a long-term, high figure RAWF contract. A contract that states that the opportunity for gold and glory will be given to me, and that it�s up to me to make sure that I grasp that opportunity with both hands.
He dries his lips with his fingers before continuing.
Briggs: Now, I know that I won�t find that gold and glory by standing in the middle of this ring shouting empty promises and stating how wonderful I am. The only way I�ll do it is by lacing up my boots, strapping my fists with the good old white tape and kicking some ass.
Crowd cheers at the mention of violence which makes Briggs become even more intense.
Briggs: Now, I realise that I signed to late to compete here tonight but I know that next Sunday, the RAWF has this little thing called Unleashed going on. And I realize that it�ll be a great card but I know I way to take it to a whole �nother level. So, I stand before you tonight to issue a challenge to anyone there in the back (points up the aisle) who feels like they want their chance to become the first victim of the Scott Briggs revolution. Do any of you want to get a plane ticket for your ass and a one way ticket straight to the local hospital once I�ve given your attitude an adjustment? Now, I don�t give a damn if I�m a curtain-raiser or wrestling whilst they�re closing up the arena, I promise each and everyone of you that I�ll be there next week, dishing some punishment out, Scott Briggs style!!!!!
Crowd cheers again. This rookie�s really got them on his side.
Briggs: So if you�re with me, let�s pack our bags, find ourselves someone who�s in the wrong place in the wrong time and get ready to rock�because Scott Briggs is ready to rock�...your�.....world!!!
His music starts up again as he chucks the microphone to the floor. He climbs up on the second turnbuckle as he salutes the roar aloud, giving Scott Briggs their wholehearted support......but then the music stops ..... and suddenly the lights begin flickering in red. Flames shoot up out of the ramp way as "My Way" by Limp Bizkit blasts across the pa system. Right then a very large man steps out from behind the curtain. He turns around and looks down to the ring. The man is "The Perfect Design" Aaron Justice. Justice begins walking towards the ring. Right then he stops and stares at Scott Briggs. All of the sudden the lights go back to normal and the music stops. The man raises a mic up to his mouth.
AJ: Hold up there rookie, I heard enough. You can talk all you want, but tonight you made the mistake to call out anybody. They must not have told you "God's Gift" was here. See, I accept your challenge. At Unleashed, you'll find out why they call me "The Perfect Design". Prepare for Final Justice.
Justice raises both arms up to his side and flexes his muscles as he looks on to Scott Briggs. Justice just keeps staring as the scene fades to a commercial.
Brad: Well, sounds like we have a new match next Sunday!!!
Doc: A great way to make a debut, with a win at Unleashed, but whos debut will be ruined?
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall ... introducing first ... from Detroit, MI.... weighing 235 pounds .... MATT HIGGERSON!
"Never Gonna Stop" by Rob Zombie plays as Matt Daddy struts to the ring to a decent pop from the fans. He climbs into the ring and poses on the top turnbuckle.
Doc: The man who tried to cheat his way into a Tag Team Championship!!
Brad: He was merely trying to help out a fellow athlete who was clearly at a unecessary disadvantage!!
Levitan: And his opponent ... from Unknown.... weighing 275 pounds ... this is RYNE BLOOD!!
"South Of Heaven" by Slayer kicks in on the PA system and the lights go black. One spotlight shines on the top of the ramp and Ryne Blood stands there, with Alyssa Moore at his side, smiling and posing like a Price Is Right model, pointing at Ryne. They make their way down to the ring and Blood walks to the center. He raises one hand and house lights go bright.
Brad: This man is one awesome specimen. His match with Justin Fantastic at Unleashed for the United States Championship will be exciting to say the least.
Alyssa climbs out to stand at ringside as the two athletes circle each other once then lock up. Ryne easily shoves Higgerson to the mat. Matt "Daddy" seems unfazed and gets up to try again, only to be hit with a punishing right cross from The Ruthless One. Matt fires back with a right hand of his own. Ryne shakes it off and hits Matt again. Higgerson fires back..AGAIN. The two trade blows back and forth before Ryne gets the upperhand with a headbutt. Higgerson stumbles backwards into the corner and Ryne follows him in with a shoulderblock to the stomach. He repeats the manuever several times, then whips Matt to the far corner. He charges in, only to be met by a boot to the face that staggers him back a few steps. Higgerson climbs to the second turnbuckle and comes flying down with a double axehandle to the top of Ryne's skull that finally takes him down. Higgerson presses his advantage by dragging Blood over to the ropes and draping him over the middle one. He runs and bounces off the opposite ropes and gives Ryne a Bronco Buster. He tries a cover, but only gets a two count. Higgerson picks Ryne up and whips him into the ropes. He tries a spinning heel kick but Ryne ducks under it, bounces off the opposite ropes, and spears Higgerson! You can almost hear the air whooshing from Matt's lungs upon impact.
Doc: That will take the starch out of "Daddy". I wonder if Hogarth is watching this! He better take a whole binder full of notes. The first one being "I have no freaking chance against this man."
Brad: Oh come on!! Justin is quicker and IS the United States Champion!
Doc: He's going to need that quickness to run, run as fast as he can!!
Ryne decides it's time to show Higgerson some power moves. He delivers a springboard back elbow to him after whipping him into the ropes. In sucession following, he gives him a brainbuster, a tilt-a-whirl slam, and a devastating backbreaker. Higgerson writhes on the mat following the latter as Ryne stares out at the crowd, who give him a mixed reaction of boos and cheers. After picking up Higgerson and wailing on him a couple of times, he puts him in the Blood Dreams!! Higgerson almost passes out, but gets a rush of adrenaline at the last moment and starts a comeback. He manages to break the hold by dragging Blood to the ropes and grabbing them. Blood releases it and tries unsucessfully to reapply it when Higgerson nails him with a low blow that even Ryne can't shake off. Higgerson hits him with a scissor kick and Blood hits the mat face first. Higgerson climbs the top rope as Ryne gets to his feet and hits a missile dropkick!! Feeling the wave of momentum hit, Matt Daddy gestures to the crowd and prepares to superkick Ryne. But at the last moment, Blood gets his hands up and blocks it, spinning Higgerson around on one foot, then nailing him with a jarring clothesline! Ryne decides its time to end it. He picks Higgerson up and ends the game with the End Game. He covers and hooks the leg 1..2..3!
RYNE BLOOD |
Doc: An impressive win for The Ruth..
Suddenly, a flash on the Radi-tron interrupts Doc and the celebration in the ring of Alyssa and Ryne. Justin Fantastic's face is on the screen and he is grinning ear to ear.
Justin: Hey Blood!! Hey Alyssa!! I just thought I let you know I'm sick of you interfering with my business. And I'm sick of you attacking me! I'm just sick of you in my life! So let's say we just cut to the chase and settle this thing at Unleashed in a Last Man Standing Match. Whaddaya say Mr. Revolution?
Blood snatches the mic from Levitan.
Ryne: You are an even bigger idiot than I gave you credit for Justin!! That's an easy decision .... I accept!! Last Man Standing it is!!! It's going to be a pleasure to beat the living hell out of you without any rules except to knock you out cold!!! Now somebody cut the connection so I don't have to look at his ugly little face until Unleashed!!!
Justin starts to say something else, but is cut off and the Radi-tron goes dark. "South Of Heaven" by Slayer pipes in again and Ryne and Alyssa return to the back.
Brad: Let's go backstage where Renton Cross is about to spin the Ironman Wheel to decide what kind of match he and Jeffery Manson will have at Unleashed!!!!
Doc: Maybe we'll have TWO Last Man Standing matches!!
The scene switches to backstage and we see Renton Cross with Johnathan Vice standing in front of the huge Ironman wheel. Vice nods to Cross, who steps up and gives the wheel a grunting spin. Round and round it goes ...... until eventually it stops, landing on...
Renton: TUXEDO MATCH????? You have got to be kidding me!!! Has there even been a Tuxedo Match in the last ten years EVER? This is ridiculous!
Vice: Sorry Renton. Rules are rules. Tuxedo Match it will be at Unleashed.
Renton: Does that moron Manson even OWN a tuxedo??
Vice just shrugs. In response, Renton spits on the floor and storms away.
Levitan: This contest is scheduled for one fall ...Introducing first ... from Las Vegas, Nevada .... weighing 245 pounds .... this is High Roller!!
"Emperor's Hymn from String Quartet in C:" HADYN Kodaly Quartet plays boldly over the sound system as High Roller struts out to the ring, a wide smirk on his face. He tests the ropes and stretches out.
Brad: Well now, Roller seems to be in a good mood tonight. Almost has an air of confidence to him.
Doc: Must be all that hospital food Brad. They that stuff is actually healthy ... it just looks and tastes bad.
Levitan: Annnnnnd his opponent!!
"Generator" by Bad Religion blasts out over the arena to the delight of the crowd.
Levitan: From Paris, France ..... weighing 245 pounds .... this is THE IRON CHEF!!!
The Chef peers through the curtain and smiles. The crowd gives him a big ovation as he makes his way down to the ring, wearing houndstooth pants and a white chef�s coat which he removes to reveal a white sleeveless T-shirt that has �Mmmm Mmmm Good!!� written on it! He gives the fans a smile and a wave.
Brad: One of my all-time favorites has returned to RAWF! The Iron Chef is one of a kind!!
Doc: Awwww, you only love him for his cooking Brad!! This could easily be the ever elusive first win for High Roller!!
The Chef and Roller lock up at center ring and Roller powers it into a headlock on Chef. He cinches it in for a second before Chef pushes him off into the ropes and gets down on his stomach. Roller leaps over him on the return and rebounds off the opposite ropes. Chef clotheslines him on the return. Roller gets to his feet quickly however, so Chef knocks him down again with a beefy fist to the face. Roller doesn't learn his lesson the previous time, he gets up and once again the Chef is there to send him tot he mat with another punch. Roller backpedals crablike to the corner and tries to call timeout. The wily veteran Chef laughs and stomps him several times as the crowd counts them. "1...2...3...4...5...6" The ref warns Chef back and he obeys. Once Roller is back on his feet, Chef whips him into the ropes and applies an abdominal stretch upon his return. Roller shakes his head vigorously when the ref asks him if he wants to give up. After several grueling minutes in the hold, Roller is able to escape and hiptoss Chef to the mat. Barely hurt by it, Chef gets up quickly, but Roller quickly grabs him and executes a gutwrench suplex. He follows it up with a fistdrop.
Brad: Did you see that lovely cart of pastries the Chef had earlier? I'm going to have to sneak back there when I get a chance.
Doc: Oh god forbid you skip the concession stand this week Brad! They bought an extra hundred nachos just for you! Your breaking their hearts!
Roller keeps up the pressure with a vertical suplex, followed by a lariat and an elbow drop. A cover yields only a two count. Roller remains on the offensive with a german suplex into another pin attempt that Chef kicks out of before the three. Roller then applies the Gold Standard!!! Chef falls to one knee as Roller shakes him around, trying to cut off the oxygen.
Doc: He's going to do it!! He's going to do it!! High Roller is going to win his first match!!!
The fans start chanting the Chef's name. Chef's arm goes down twice when the ref checks it, but just as the arm falls halfway on the third, the Chef gets it back up! He powers himself back to his feet and with a mighty rush of adrenaline, uses his body to ram Roller backwards into the tunrbuckle! The impact forces Roller to release the Standard and Chef stumbles forward a few steps as Roller collapses into the corner. Both men recover around the same time, but Chef gets the upperhand with several right hands to the face and chest of the gambler. He picks him up and bodyslams him, then steps on his face for good measure. Chef follows that up with a double arm DDT, then looks to the crowd then points dramatically to the top rope! The fans go nuts, so he responds by climbing to the top rope ... leaps ... and delivers the Le Grenioulle!!!!! The Chef makes the cover, hooking the leg. The ref slaps the canvas three times and The Chef is victorious!
Brad: Well, High Roller may not have any wins, but at least he has his money. Hey .... Tony Marduck has just come out to the top of the ramp ... and he has Chef's pastry cart!!!
Indeed he does, and as the Chef spots him, Marduck is busy chewing on a danish in one hand, and a doughnut in the other. Chef gets out of the ring and stalks toward Tony, who just stands there eating with a big smile on his face. Just as Chef gets there, Bill Fury leaps from behind the curtain and starts throttling him. Before Chef can do anything to defend himself, Furt picks him up and drops him right on the cart. Pies and muffins fly everywhere as the cart submits to the blow and buckles in half. Marduck picks up a pie that survived the disaster and squashes it right in Chef's face! Marduck then laughs and instructs Fury back to the back as the Chef lies semi-conscious and piefaced.
Doc: How does that go now? Bill Fury met a pieman going to the fair....
Brad: Knock it off Doc.
Meanwhile, High Roller has slunk around the fray on the ramp and is walking slowly down the hallway, holding his stomach. He starts to pass by Trash Barlow, who is digging in a garbage can, scavenging for ... for ... well, anything. Trash looks up and shakes his head.
Trash: Man dude, you really sucked out there. You stink worse than I do!!
Roller: Who the hell are YOU to talk??? You couldn't beat an egg if you were given a recipe!!!
Trash: Oh, is that right rich man?? At least I didn't need money to buy my way into the business!!
Roller: Why you smelly ogre, I'm..
Thomas Highway comes running up and gets between the two. He catches a whiff of Trash however, and inches away from him.
Highway: Hey now, let's not start brawling here in the hallway. If you two want a fight, you can do it next week at Unleashed. You can decide who the biggest loser in RAWF is THEN.
Roller: Hey, I can beat this hobo any day! Just give me a contract to sign.
Trash: Hey, count me in. I've always wanted to visit Canada anyways. I hear their fries with gravy are excellent!!!
Both Highway and Roller look at Trash with disgusted faces. He smiles and walks away.
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall ... introducing first ... from Salem, Mass.... weighing 220 pounds .... RENTON CROSS !
"What The Hell Have I" by Alice In Chains is played as Renton strolls down the ring. The fans boo him fiercely, some chants of "Frank! Frank!" start up here and there, and he leaps to the apron, where he he springs himself up and over the top rope, into the squared circle.
Levitan: And his opponent ... from Battle Creek, MI.... weighing 225 pounds ... this is DANNY SZATKOWSKI!!
"Jump" by Van Halen blares, and Szatkowski sprints to the ring! In a game of "oneupmanship," Danny leaps to the apron, jumps up, springs off the top rope and onto the top turnbuckle, where he moonsaults into the ring with a perfect landing. The fans go wild, and as he turns around...Renton hits him with a clothesline, sending him down.
Doc: What an entrance by Danny! I liked the greeting he got by Renton, though...
Brad: You would...you got something against him like Highway does?
Doc: Hey, you can include me in with one of the BOSSES anytime you want to...if you have a problem with our great Commishioner, why don't you take it up with him?
Brad: I hope Highway doesn't come to a quick stop!
Renton picks up Danny and drapes him over the top rope and drops him. The "clothesline" from the top rope slings Danny backward to the mat. Cross drops a leg, then flips up to his feet and nails a scissors-kick when Danny tries to get to his feet. Grabbing Szatkowski and dragging to a standing position, Renton sends a few punches into Danny's kidney's the whips him around and into the ropes. Cross puts a knee into his stomach which someraults The Sensation up, over, and onto his back. Renton drops another leg, picks him up and sends him into the ropes again. Bouncing back, Danny leapfrogs Cross, bounces back, ducks under a clothesline and dropkicks Cross on his return. Dropping his own leg on Renton, he manuevers around and applies a leg scissors sleeper. Gasping for air, Cross gets to the ropes, and the ref makes him break it. Standing quickly, Danny nails a spinning heel kick as soon as Cross gets to a vertical base. Climbing the topr rope, he jumps down with a planted fist right in Renton's kisser. Cross falls back, and Danny charges and leaps, hitting Renton with a cross body block (no pun intended). The ref makes the count...1-2-kickout! Danny gets to his feet quickly and runs the ropes, intent on coming back and hitting a dropkick. Renton gets to his feet and feels that a standing dropkick is just the thing to counter whatever Szatkowski has in store for him. Both try to hit their dropkicks at the same time. With pinpoint accuracy, the two men connect with each other's boots. Falling down, they both jump back up, and following one double clothesline later, they drop to the mat. Rolling away from opposite directions, they get back to a vertical base, run their respective ropes, and both attempt a high cross body block.
Doc: This is getting ridiculous. We have a match between two mind readers!
Brad: No, we have a match between two skilled technicians that are good at scientific maneuvers and counter-maneuvers! What a match!
Renton wins the in-air collision, and lands on top of his opponent. The ref makes the count...1-2-kickout! Szatkowski squirms out from underneath him and rolls to a corner. Following fast, Cross tries to bury his shoulder into Danny's stomach, but the Sensation is very quick, dodging out of the way at the last possible second. Renton ends up going through the top and second ropes and slamming his shoulder into the ring post. Danny clubs him on the back, back suplexesaway from the turnbuckle, jumps up and hits his famous split legged moonsault! The ref counts...1-2-kickout! Szatkowski returns to a vertical base, waits for Renton to get to his feet, then executes a Tornado DDT. The ref starts the count...1-2-Danny jumps to his feet and stares at the ramp...
Brad: What is Highway doing coming down to the ring? Shouldn't he be getting coffee for Kit right about now?
Doc: I'll tell him you said that. Maybe he heard some of your comments and he's coming down to fire you.
Brad: You WISH that was why he's coming down...but we know that isn't the case...
Danny stares at Highway as the Commishioner strolls down to the ring. The Teenage Sensation asks, "What the hell are YOU doing here?" Highway ignores the wrestler and walks over to where Doc and Brad are calling the the action. Szatkowski keeps his eye on the Commish.
Highway: Hello Gentlemen! I tried not to make a quick stop, seeing as how Brad is worried about me...
Brad: uhhhh....
Doc: I'll be damned, that's the first time I have ever seen him speechless!
Highway: Just wanted to check up on you guys...we never seem to make any time to talk, anymore. So, Brad, how did you feel about that great Title victory for the Cross Connection?
Brad: uhhh...well...
Highway: Now I know why we pay him the big bucks!
Doc: Hehehe...I am having so much fun...hehehe...please join us anytime you want...hehehe...
Danny has continued to keep on eye on Thomas. Renton recovers from the DDT and dropkicks Szatkowski in the back. flying into the corner, Cross follows up with an avalanche to the back, causing the Sensation to yell out in agony. As Danny backs out of the corner, Renton spins him around, grabs him, and hits a short-arm clothesline. Helping him up, he hits a DDT. Renton goes for the cover. 1-2-kickout! Renton chokes Danny, getting another kind of count from the ref...1-2-3-4 break! Szatkowski is pulled up again and set on the top turnbuckle. A superplex later, and Cross is making the cover...1-2-kickout!
Brad: Danny is showing a lot of heart out there...
Highway: I think he is an overrated bum who is getting kissed by lady luck. Better to be lucky than good, I guess.
Doc: Amen, brother!
Brad: Oh, please...lets get back to the action!
Renton punches danny a few times, then goes to the top rope. Attempting a shooting star press, he misses completely, as saztkowski rolls out of the way! The Teenage Sensation sucks in some air, runs the ropes, bounces off the second rope and "lionsaults" Cross...1-2-kickout! Highway nearly jumps out of his seat. Leaving his seat at the announcer's table, he walks around the ring, keeping an eye on the match. Dragging Renton up, Szatkowski tries to hit his opponent, but the punch is blocked. Cross tries to retaliate, but that punch is blocked. The thumb to the eye is not blocked however, and Danny puts his hands to his face and shields himself. Renton then clubs him with punches and forearms. Szatkowski, realizing he needs to get on the offensive, takes a shot to give a shot, and he makes it a good one. He nails renton right in the nose, then "tees" off with several punches in anger. Highway jumps on the apron and screams at the ref to make Danny stop the illegal punches. This does distract the Sensation and Renton takes advantage, kneeing Szatkowski in the gut and grabbing his arm to whip him in the ropes. Highway, smiling, turns around to jump off the apron. Szatkowski reverses the Irish-whip, and whips Cross the opposite way, right into the Commish, who goes flying to the hard floor. Cross, groggy after butting heads with Highway, turns around long enough to get the Exclamation Point superkick from Szatkowski...1-2-3! After getting the pinfall, Danny gets out of the ring and disappears into the crowd. Enraged, Highway swears revenge and stalks off to the back.
Brad: That's...too bad...what happened to Highway...hehe
Doc: You have a lot of nerve for someone who is on "thin ice."
Meanwhile, backstage, Kit and Vice have been watching the proceedings...
Kit: Well, that was...interesting. The fans seemed to like it...
Vice: He is going to come back here and demand the right to fire Danny...I want to handle this one...I'll give Szatkowski exactly what he deserves.
Kit: This ought to be fun...okay, I'll let you handle it. I'll let him know when he gets here. Don't you have something to do, now? Away from my office...
Vice: I have some calls to make...break it to him gently, and off the air...I don't know how he'll take this...
Vice bumps into Highway as he leaves the room, giving the rather pissed Highway a smirk, he leaves quickly. The door shuts, and some yelling can be faintly heard from the room...
A taped piece of footage then rolls. A woman is sitting down in front of a white background talking to someone.
WOMAN: He is the most self-absorbed human being I have ever met. We went out one night and he just kept going on and on about himself. I tried to speak, but as soon as he didn't hear his name in my story, he just totally tuned out. Then he just thought he could sleep with me. Well I would of slapped him right there and then, but he kept telling me how he was a huge star on the television. I thought it would help my career to be linked with a star, but then he just ditched me. He was such a prick!
The footage then cuts to a man sitting in front of the same white background.
MAN: Yeah I have met him. The bastard hit me right in the back of the head. And all because I spilt his beer on his jeans. I said sorry, but he just wouldn't accept it. I tried to turn away but the butthead hit me right in the back of the head. If I ever saw that guy again, man I would give him a piece of my mind!
The screen then fades off of the man and goes to another man sitting in the dark. His face is totally covered and his voice has been digitally edited to make it unrecognizable.
???: The RAWF. Radical American Wrestling Federation. Do you really know what you have gotten yourself in for? This aint the minor leagues anymore. I am the major player and when I step foot into the RAWF, their will be shockwaves like you would never believe! I assure you that none of the fans will like me. I can assure you that management will not like me. And I can guarantee that every man on the roster will hate me! How do I know this? Because wherever I go, whatever I do and whoever I meet, I am surrounded by the raw human emotion of jealousy! Everyone is jealous of me and for good reason! I am just too good! You will soon see what I am on about, when I take the RAWF by storm, taking the RAWF to a whole new level of success!
The footage then ends with the unknown man laughing as the RAWF goes back to normal programming.
Back in the Innovative Legend locker room, we see John Patrick and Josh. Josh is getting ready to go to the ring.
Patrick: Don't worry buddy, I'll be watching and keeping an eye out. If Xavier tries anything funny, I'll be out there faster than you can blink.
Swanson: Well then I guess I'll see you out there, because you know he will.
Swanson leaves the room and JP glances at the monitor. Suddenly, from the adjoining bathroom, Xavier Cross bursts out and clobbers Patrick with his Tag belt! JP is laid out on the floor unconscious. Xavier walks out the door and props a chair up against the doorknob, then walks away laughing.
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall ... introducing first ...accompianied by Xavier Cross.... from Dickson, Tenn.... weighing 245 pounds ... one half of the World Tag Team Champions..... this is JANGO CROSS !!
"Around The World" by Union Underground plays as The Cross Connection walks out and struts to the ring. They slap hands and grin like cats who just ate the proverbial canary.
Levitan: And his opponent....
"Headstrong" by Trapt blasts throughout the arena and on the Radi-tron the word "INNOVATION" flashes in neon lettering.
Levitan: From Minneapolis, MN .... weighing 265 pounds .... JOSH SWANSON!
Swanson appears at the top of the ramp and pyros go off on either side of him. The crowd gives him much adulation as he walks down the ramp with a look of intensity... never looking away from the two figures already in the ring. He snarls as he gets to the bottom and dives into the ring and comes after Jango. He nails him with a clothesline, but gets nailed by Xavier with a right hand. Swanson shrugs it off and fires back with a couple of punches of his own. Xavier stumbles back into the ropes where Swanny takes the opportunity to clothesline him up and over the top rope. Xavier hits the apron, then rolls outside to the arena floor. The bell rings and the match officially starts. Swanson wastes no more time on Xavier, instead turns back to Jango who has gotten to his feet. They trade blows for several seconds before Josh gets the upperhand and with a series of shots to Jango's mug. He whips Jango into the ropes and press slams on the return. Jango hits the canvas and bounces a bit. He clutches his back, but gets no time to catch his breath as Swanson follows up with a snap vertical suplex and two elbow drops. Swanny tries to apply a Spinal Tap, but Jango manages to squirm out of it and roll out of the ring. As Jango lies on the concrete near the ramp, Xavier comes over to check on him and help him to his feet. Swanson takes advantage of this by rolling out of the ring behind them and double clotheslining them from behind. He picks Jango up, throws him over his shoulder and rams him shoulder first into the post. He tosses him back into the ring and rolls in after him. He stomps on Jango viciously several times, then tries to propel himself off the ropes, but from outside the ring Xavier grabs him by the ankles and trips him. Swanson does a nosedive and hits the mat face first.
Brad: It seems Xavier seems intent on making this a two on one situation! First he waylays Patrick, then he just HAS to get involved here! Swanson is fighting both Tag Team Champions in essence.
Doc: Hey, it's called teamwork!! This is why these guys are Tag Team Champions!!!
Brad: You're right, this is exactly how they won the belts. Two on one.
Jango seizes the opportunity and starts stomping away on Swanson. He drags him over to the ropes and drapes his neck over the second rope. He puts his knee to the back of Swanny's head and starts choking him out on the rope. The ref warns and counts. Jango lets go and backs off, the ref yells at him and turns his back away from Swanny. Jango keeps the ref occupied while Xavier comes over and grabs Swanny's head and continues the choking. After a few seconds, Xavier walks away and Jango pulls Swanson to his feet. He pummels him with several shots that send him into the corner. Jango gives a couple of shoulders to the abdomen, then whips him into the opposite corner. Jango follows up with a tornado DDT, followed by a fist drop from the second rope. A cover yields only a two count however. Jango pulls him up and executes a piledriver, then tries another cover. 1..2.. Swanny gets the shoulder up just in time. Undaunted, Jango grabs Josh by the ankles and slingshots him face first into the turnbuckle. Josh stumbles back and Jango rolls him up for another pin attempt. 1..2.. again, Josh kicks out just in time. Jango arues witht the ref, who sticks two fingers in his face, letting him know that his two count stands as called. Jango pulls Josh to center ring and applies a figure four!
Brad: He's got it on him dead center of the ring!! Josh just contorting in pain now!!
Doc: Swanson better be getting VERY innovative VERY soon or this is all over!
Xavier leans in under the ropes and extends his arms. Jango reaches back while the ref is asking Swanny and grabs Xavier's hands for added leverage. Xavier tugs on Jango's arms, causing Josh to bellow in agony. The fans start screaming, trying to get the ref's attention on what is going on behind his back, but to no avail. After a few seconds of this, the ref finally gets a clue and looks back .... but Xavier has already let go. Josh raises his arm and tries to turn over on his stomach. Jango resists, fighting the reversal attempt for several agonizing moments .... before finally Josh gets it turned over and now Jango is the one yelping in pain. Jango manages to untangle his legs and both men stumble to their feet, limping. Jango rushes Swanson, who ducks low and back bodydrops him. Then Josh goes on a tear with a stalling suplex, then a powerslam, followed by a devastating spinebuster off the ropes! He tries a cover, but Jango kicks out at two. Josh gives him a gut-wrench powerbomb for his troubles and tries again, but Xavier reaches in and drapes Jango's leg over the ropes just before the three count. Swanson signals to the crowd that he wants to end this now. They start chanting his name. He picks Jango up and attempts the Innovator! Xavier gets up on the apron as he starts the move. He sees this and let's Jango just slump to the mat. Josh runs over and pummels him with several shots to the face of Xavier, causing him to fall to the apron. But when Josh turns his attention back toward Jango, Jango levels him with a spear. He attempts to end it by applying the Crossover ..... but Josh powers out of it and kicks Jango in the groin! Josh gets to his feet and quickly picks Jango up, sets him on his shoulders and delivers the Hangtime Holla!!! He covers and the ref makes the 1...2...3!! Xavier dives into the ring and hits Swanny across the back with his title belt. Swanny falls face first to the mat, and Xavier dives on him and applies The Crossface!!! He cinches it in real tight.
Brad: This could be real trouble for Swanson, his partner is unable to assist him!! We need someone down here. Now Jango is up and he's kicking Josh repeatedly right in the ribs!!
Doc: This is great!!! That Josh Swanson cheated to win, and now he's getting his due and...
All of a sudden the lights go dim and "South Of Slayer" plays.
Doc: HUH?? What's HE doing here?
Ryne Blood comes charging down the ramp and slides into the ring. He blasts Jango with a haymaker between the eyes that sends him sprawling. He nails Xavier with a double axehandle, forcing him to release Josh. Jango gets up, but Ryne clotheslines him out of the ring. He picks up Xavier and gives him the same treatment.
Doc: What the hell is going on??? What does Blood have to do with this and why is he picking on The Cross Connection??? What do THEY have to do with Justin Fantastic?
Brad: And look, John Patrick has gotten out of his locker room and is running down to the ring as well!!!
Patrick climbs into the ring as Ryne glares at the bewildered Cross Connection, who yell promises of revenge and curses as they retreat up the ramp. Patrick walks up to Ryne and gets in his face. The two stare each other down for a long moment ..... before shaking hands!
Doc: WILL SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IN RUDY'S NAME IS GOING ON HERE??
Brad: Rudy? Taking up a new religion I've never heard of Doc??
The crowd is on their feet going bananas as Patrick and Blood help Swanson to his feet and raise his arms in victory.
Doc: Someon pass me the Pepscid please.... I'm getting a stomachache.
Meanwhile, in the back. The Cross Connection are venting their anger on a irritated Vice.
Jango: We want Swanson and Patrick in the ring!! They used every dirty trick in the book to beat us tonight!! We want them together in OUR environment!!
Xavier: Yeah, what he said.
Vice: THEY used every dirty trick?? I told you guys to quit smoking that stuff, that is was killing your brain cells.
Jango: Come on Vice!!! Get serious! Sign us up for Unleashed with those two!!!
Vice: Well, I have to clear it with Kit. I'll let you know before the show is over.
Satisfied, The Cross Connection walks away while Vice just rolls his eyes toward the heavens and prays for Excedrin.
MATT KORBEN (C) VS. ORIAN WILLIAMS |
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the RAWF Television Championship!!! ... introducing first ... from Dickson, Tenn.... weighing 265 pounds .... ORIAN WILLIAMS!
"All My Life" by Foo Fighers plays and big blue "O" flashes on the Radi-tron. Orian struts out, a confident grin on his face. He flexes for the fans who give him a mix of jeer and cheer. He laughs and struts down the ramp into the ring.
Brad: This is going to be one hell of a match. Two friends turned enemies! Two guys that know each other better than almost any two guys CAN know each other!
Doc: I'm not touching that one .... it's too easy.
Brad: Get your mind out of the .... oh, why do I bother?
Levitan: And his opponent ... from Dickson, Tennessee.... weighing 275 pounds ... he is the RAWF TELEVISION CHAMPION.... this is MATT KORBEN !!
"Sandstorm" by Darude blasts over the speakers and the crowd roars it's approval. Matt storms out of the curtain, running full speed down the ramp. He tosses the Television belt aside and slides into the ring and charges Orian!! He hits him with several punches that rock the Big O, then follows it up with a reverse atomic drop, then a clothesline over the top rope. Orian careens and lands hard on the ring apron, managing to catch himself from falling to the floor. Korben fixes that problem by kicking him in the ribs twice. Orian slides off the apron and lies on the concrete, clutching his stomach. Korben climbs out and keeps up the assault. He picks Orian up and slams his head into the apron. Then he whips him into the steel barricade. As the crowd gets behind "The Man", he really starts laying in several more punches. He rolls Orian into the ring and follows him in. He grabs Orian by the ankles and quickly wishbones him. Orian bellows in agony, clutching hinself and rolling into a fetal position. Korben hauls him to his feet by the hair and starts pummeling him some more. He picks him up and delivers a backbreaker. He tries a cover, but only gets a two count. Undaunted, Korben picks him up again and tries the Korbenator, but Orian escapes by reversing it into a backdrop. Orian stumbles away as Korben gets up. Orian rakes him in the eyes to buy himself some time. Korben clutches his face and turns away. Orian grabs him by the waste from behind and gives him a german suplex. He picks him up, punches him a few times, then goes on a tear with a slingshot suplex, followed by a couple of well timed clotheslines.
Doc: I must admit, this is better than watching them play tag with the belt like last week! And I think the longer the match goes, the better it is for Orian. I think he has the better endurance of the two.
Brad: But Matt can hit you with that Krippler at almost any time at any point in the match! THAT'S what Orian has to be wary of!
Orian grabs Korben by the ankles and puts him in a figure four leglock! Korben yells in agony and the ref asks him, but he vigorously shakes his head no. While the ref is busy checking Matt, Orian reaches back and up with both hands, grabbing the top rope for leverage. Matt desperately tries to inform the ref of this transgression, but he doesn't seem to understand. The fans yell their disapproval of the officiating to no avail. Finally, the ref looks over and catches it just as Orian lets go. He calls for Orian to release the hold and counts to four before Williams finally untangles himself from Korben. But intent on staying on the leg, Orian grabs it, and pulls Matt over to the corner. He drapes the leg over the bottom turnbuckle and stnad on it, grabbing the ropes for leverage. Matt flails about in obvious pain. Orian picks him up and delivers a kneebreaker to the injured leg. Matt collapses to the mat, holding the injured limb. Orian stomps on it a couple of times, then tries to rapply the figure four. Korben kicks him away with his good leg and Orian falls backwards, his head hitting the canvas with a thwump. Korben pulls himself up on the ropes, trying to put weight on the leg. Orian recovers quick and comes up behind him and kicks him in the shin, causing him to fall to the mat again. Orian picks him up and snap suplexs him!! He tries a cover. Ref counts 1...2..kickout by the champion. He picks him up again, whips him into the ropes, throws himself into the opposite ropes and wallops him with a flying lariat!!! He tries another cover and only gets two again. Frustrated, he grabs Korben by the ears and starts ramming the back of his head against the mat. He does this about ten times, then tries another cover. 1...2...Korben gets a shoulder up just in time!
Brad: Ladies and Gentlemen, we have just been informed that two more matches have been signed for Unleashed! The Cross Connection will defend their World Tag Team Championships against The Innovative Legends! And in six man tag team competition ... The Inevitables will team up with Orian Williams to battle Danny Szatkowski, Matt Higgerson, and Matt Korben! Speaking of Matt Korben, he is taking a real beating at the hands of his former chum!!! Orian really is willing to throw their friendship out the window for this belt!!
Doc: Hey, he has a valid claim to that belt!! Just ask him, he'll tell you!!!
Brad: No thanks ... it's like Michael Jackson's Thriller, it got old after the first hundred times.
Orian picks Korben up and nails him with several more punches, then executes an Orian Cutter!!!! He covers, but Matt drapes a foot over the ropes just in time for the ref to stop the count. Orian throws a mini-tantrum and pleads with the ref for a faster count. Frustrated even more now, Orian decides he needs a little something extra, so he rolls out of the ring and grabs the Television Championship! He rolls back in and the ref admonishes him, threatening to disqualify him if he uses the belt. Korben gets up groggily and Orian side steps the ref and charges. At the last minute, Korben ducks and lifts Orian up and over the top rope!! Belt and Big O land on the hard concrete of Nassau Coliseum at exactly the same time. Korben falls to one knee, taking a quick breather while Orian lies on the floor, VERY slow to get up. When Orian finally does get up, the ref has counted to seven. Orian climbs back up on the apron, but Korben runs over, pushes and pulls back on the ropes, and slingshots Orian into the ring. Orian flips two hundred and seventy degrees, landing hard on his tailbone. Korben pulls him to his feet and and gives him a powerbomb for his troubles. Then he goes on a mass offensive of chops and punches, finishing it off with a belly to belly suplex off the ropes. Korben bounces off the ropes, legdrops him, and covers. Orian kicks out at two. Korben whips him into the ropes again and delivers a spinebuster, then picks him up and gives him a Korbenator! Another cover and the ref counts 1...2... Orian squeezes a shoulder out from underneath and gets out in the nick of time. Korben drags the semi-conscious Williams to his feet and whips him toward the corner. With a desperate burst of adrenaline, Orian reverses it and Korben careens into the turnbuckles. Korben staggers a couple of steps and Orian side slams him. Orian musters a short surt of punches once Korben is on his feet, and tires for a clothesline, but Korben dives to the mat and leg whips him. Orian falls forward on his face and Korben grabs his ankle to try to apply the Krippler! Orian kicks him off with the other foot. Korben goes to try again and Orian kicks him hard to the groin. Korben stumbles bow legged back a few steps and Orian climbs to his feet and hits him with a punch, then whips him into the ropes. Korben ducks Orian's clothesline attempt and bounces off the opposite ropes. Orian decides to grab him and try redirecting him to the corner, but Korben reverses it. With all the fast movement, the ref couldn't see that coming in time and Orian collides with the ref. Both go down as they hit head to head. Korben picks up Orian and tries another Korbenator, but Orian reverses it into a backdrop. Then he drops an elbow for good measure, then realizes the ref is still out. So he climbs out of the ring and grabs the Television Belt.
Brad: Uh oh, here we go again! He's gonna take off with it!
Doc: No Brad, he can't win the thing outright if he does that! See, he's taking it into the ring! Sheesh, give the guy some credit.
Orian climbs back into the ring with the belt as Korben gets to his feet. Orian charges, intent on clobbering him across the head with the gold. But Korben catches it with his hands, blocking the attempt! He kicks Orian in the groin and snatches the belt away. As Orian is grabbing himself in obvious discomfort, Korben takes the belt and attempts to hit him across the back with it. But Orian pulls the same stunt and blocks it, then kicks Korben in the groin and pulls the belt away. The ref groggily gets to his feet, sees Orian with the belt and goes toward him to get it away from him. In the process, the ref steps in between Korben and Orian as Orian is swinging the belt and gets knocked out cold. Korben clotheslines Orian as he is distracted. The belt flies out of Orian's hand upon impact. Korben picks him up and starts to vertical suplex him, but instead puts him down on the top turnbuckle. Then he climbs up and attempts a superplex .... but Orian blocks it and shoves Korben off. Korben falls from the top rope and lands hard on his back. Orian leaps and drives an elbow into his sternum! Sneering, he pulls "The Man" up and gives him an ORIAN BOMB!! He goes to cover, but...
Doc: There's no ref!!! Where is that incompetent boob!!! HE should of been the one fired this week!!
Brad: Umm, Doc, the ref just got hit with a championship belt right across the face by Orian. He's not incompentent, he's severely INCAPACITATED!! And what's with you and boobs tonight anyways?
Doc: Well, I can't say puppies, I might get sued.
Orian slaps the mat several times, then looks to see that the ref is still out. Cursing his luck, he gets up and tries to revive the official by nudging him with his foot. The ref starts to move, but as Orian is trying to help him to his feet ... Korben crawls over and grabs the belt. He stumbles to his feet and charges Orian from behind .... Orian senses it and gets out of the way just in time. Unfortunately our poor hero the official is not so lucky. Once again he is nailed right between the eyes and falls into La La Land. Orian attempts to get the belt away from Matt, but he holds on and the two participate in a comical looking game of tug of war. Finally, Korben lets go, just long enough to clothesline Orian to the mat. Korben goes over and slaps the ref awake, then returns to Orian and puts him in the Krippler, right in the center of the ring!!! The referee shakes off the cobwebs and as Orian taps out. The ref shakes his head and calls for the bell. Then he walks over and confers with Levitan.
Brad: Korben has won!! He has proved who was the better man!!!
Doc: This is a travesty!!!! Orian had him beat!!!
Brad: Wait a minute, the referee is not raising Korben's arm!
Levitan: The referee has disqualified ...BOTH men. Therefore, the result of this match is a DOUBLE disqualification!!!! However, STILL RAWF Television Champion ... MATT KORBEN!!
Doc: Where's Kit? Where's Highway? They can't let this happen!!!! Orian won!!!
Brad: Aww, cry me a freaking river.
Doc: You know ... you are a VERY biased announcer. Do you know that?
Brad: And on that little bit of trivia, we'll bid you a fond fairwell and see you at UNLEASHED!!!!