(From the MCI Center in Washington D.C.)
The camera opens up to inside the MCI Center where the crowd is in a frenzy.
Brad: Welcome everyone to our nation's capital and welcome to Monday Night Chaos! We've got a great lineup tonight, but I'm told by our producer that Kit wants to start the show by firing someone. Doc, what's with her and this weekly firing? If she keeps this up, there will be no one left in RAWF in a couple of months!
Doc: She just wants to keep people on their toes!! She wants these people to stand up and make the RAWF the best! Those who don't measure up can hit the road! Nothing wrong with that at all!!
Brad: Let's take you backstage now, where Kit, Vice, and Commisioner Highway are holding court.
Vice and Highway are sitting down when Kit rolls in a table with what looks like a rotating glass container with a bunch of little white balls on it. She smiles wickedly.
Vice: What in the nine hells is that?
Kit: THIS is how we are going to decide who gets fired tonight!
Vice: WHAT????? Have you completely lost your cotton picking mind?? You are going to RANDOMLY pick who you are going to fire??? What if you draw DIRGE'S name? What if you draw JUSTIN'S name?
Kit: Then they are no longer champions! Don't worry, I'm not going to do this every week. I just thought it would be a ratings booster if there was that possibility!
Highway: I love it!!! I can hear those folks changing the channel from Joe Millionaire now!! Kit may I have the honor of drawing the name?
Kit: Well, since you asked so nicely and aren't being a cranky cynic like Vice, yes you may Tom.
Vice just shakes his head sadly as Tom goes over to the container and spins it a couple of times. Out of Vice and Kit's view, he pulls a ball out of his pocket and hides it in his fist! He reaches into the container and pulls out a ball, but hands her the one he pulled out of his pocket!She looks at it and a half grin appears on her face.
Kit: Dominic Payne.
Vice: One half of the tag team champions?? For godsake Kit, we can't fire HIM!!
Kit: We can and we will! Tom, take some security guards .... about eight of them ..... and go find Mr. Payne, take his belt, ans have him escorted out of the building. And don't do it on camera, we can let him have his dignity at least.
Highway: Your wish is my command Madame President!
Tom leaves the room, but under his breath, so that Kit and Vice can't hear him, but the camera picks it up, we hear "Kick ME will you?" He leaves with a huge smile on his face.
Vice: What about Szatkowski??? Now he doesn't have a tag partner!! He's going to get creamed by the Cross Connection if he goes out there by himself!!
Kit: Well, that I'm afraid is Danny's problem.
Vice: You are a sick twisted woman, you know that?
Kit: Awww, you are very sweet to sugarcoat it by not calling me a bitch outright Vice darling. Thank you very much.
Kit turns on a heel a walks out the door laughing. Vice gawks after her, then after a few seconds of pondering he picks up the phone, dials, and waits..
Vice: Hey, it's Vice. How soon can you two get here?
The camera pans to the hallway where Highway is headed for the locker room. He stops and pulls out the ball he pulled from the container and looks at it.
Highway: Well Jeffery Manson, today was your lucky day.
Highway chuckles and tosses the ball in a nearby waste basket, then continues on.
| ORIAN WILLIAMS VS. HIGH ROLLER |
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall ... introducing first ... from Dickson, Tenn.... weighing 265 pounds.... ORIAN WILLIAMS!
"All My Life" by Foo Fighers blares as Orian Williams appears from the back. Flexing, and carrying the Television title belt, Orian walks to ringside looking around, as if worried someone was right behind him. He looks side to side, along the rows of fans, continuously keeping a vigil eye out...
Levitan: And his opponent ... from Las Vegas, NV.... weighing 245 pounds ... this is HIGH ROLLER!!
"Emperor's Hymn from String Quartet in C: HADYN Kodaly Quartet" replaces the Foo Fighters, and the Gambler struts to the ring as some fans chant "Rol-ler, Rol-ler, Rol-ler." Some still boo him passionately, but he makes his way to the ring with what he can only consider "momentum."
Doc: Here's the part of the program we like to call, "How long will it take before Roller needs to go to the hospital?" Everyone...place your bets!
Brad: Not much faith in your fellow man...maybe its his week. If you have noticed, he has more fans on his side!
Doc: Fans don't win matches...skill, determination and a little cheating does. If I was Orian, I's be less interested in High Roller and more interested in what Korben has in store for me!
Brad: Korben does appear to be an "x-factor" considering that Orian stole his Television title belt last week. Let's get to the action...
Orian and High Roller lock up. Orian starts to lock him up for a suplex, but then looks around to see if Korben has showed. Roller takes advantage and reverses the hold, locking him up and nailing the vertical suplex. Picking him back up, High Roller applies a fisherman's suplex, which ends in a pinning combination...1-kickout! getting mad, Orian starts swinging. Bludgeoning Roller, he kicks him in the gut and applies his own vertical suplex, which is then followed with a gutwrench suplex. Standing up, he looks around after the manuever, which gives Roller time to roll out of the ring. Not seeing Korben, Orian gives chase outside the ring. H.R. gets back in the ring with Orian in hot pursuit. As Orian slides in the ring, Roller starts stomping with everything he has. He hooks him up, and hits Orian with a slingshot suplex after bouncing him off the top rope. High Roller goes for the cover again...1-kickout! Dropping a knee and a few fists, Roller attempts a a back suplex. Orian flips over, lands on his feet behind the Gambler, wraps his arms around him and hits a German suplex...4 times!
Brad: A surprisingly clean match...both guys employing suplexes for their attacks...
Doc: They are "employing" suplexes because they want to stay "employed" by the RAWF. Nobody wants to turn in a performance like Omega and get fired!
Orian picks up the groggy Roller and belts him a few times in the face. Picking him up, he drops him on the top turnbuckle, positions himself on the second rope...then lifts Roller high in the sky for a superplex! Orian rolls on top of him to make the cover...1-2-kickout! Immediately, Orian springs up and looks at the ramp, to see if "The Man," has made his move. Seeing nobody out of the ordinary...Orian picks up Roller, whips him against the ropes and downs him with a lariat. Whipping him into the ropes again, Williams drops his head in anticipation of a back body drop, when Roller stops and brings a forearm down on the back of Orian's neck. H.R. follows up with an uppercut. With more chants of "Rol-ler, Rol-ler!" filling the arena, the Gambler grabs Orian, whips him into the ropes and hits a power slam. Thinking about a cover, he holds off, climbs the ropes, and comes crashing down with an "Alabama-jam" leg drop off the top rope! Going for the cover, the crowd goes crazy as the ref is in position to make the count...1-2-kickout! The crowd groans at unison...expecting to celebrate High Roller's first win. The Gambler gets him back to his feet, shoots him into the ropes, tries a clothesline which Orian ducks...Orian keeps going, runs the opposite ropes, where both men stick out there meaty arms and deliver two thunderous clotheslines! They both hit the mat hard. As they do that, a cameraman with a long beard and sunglasses gets on the apron and starts taking more pictures...
Doc: Double-clothesline...I can't believe Roller has lasted this long. He's putting up a fight! I think Orian is too distracted thinking about when Korben's coming to collect his belt...because EVERYONE knows, he will be here to get what is his!
Brad: And I don't blame Korben, either! There is no excuse for that ridiculous theft. If Orian wants the belt, he should earn a title match and beat him for it!
The ref has started a count...1-2-3-4-5-6-7-both men get to their feet at approximately the same time. Both men start throwing punches. Orian gets the upper hand and whips Roller into the corner, Williams follows him in closely and avalanches the Man from Sin City with his chiseled frame. Roller stumbles out of the corner and falls. The photographer gets real close to that corner as if to take a picture, when a fire ball comes out of his camera...it gets close to Orian, but it doesn't hit. Orian gets mad and punches the cameraman, who falls off the apron. Roller comes out of the corner and tackles Williams, hitting him with rights and lefts. Orian tries to free himself of Roller's grasp. The cameraman takes off his shades and...beard to show that he is in fact...
Brad: Korben! It's Korben! Trying out the old "disguise trick!"
Doc: "Old disguise trick?" Have you been drinking?
Korben grabs the Television belt off of the timekeeper's table. He shows it off in front of Orian, who does see him, but can't do much with Roller attempting to choke him. With a satisfied smile, Korben runs up the ramp and into the backstage area. Orian becomes furious, with his adrenaline pumping at a high rate. He ignores the blows from Roller, stands up as Roller stands up, returns the favor to H.R. with haymakers of his own, whips him into the ropes, kicks him, doubling him over. Williams then DDT's him to the ground. Not waiting until he gets up, Orian drags him up and hits him with the Orian Bomb! The powerbomb shakes the ring, and Orian makes the cover...1-2-3! After the cover, orian runs up the ramp to catch up with "The Man."
Doc: Let's get someone backstage...what's the update on Orian and Korben?
Brad: I would like to know that too...Do we have anybody back there?
| Winner by pinfall: ORIAN WILLIAMS |
Vice is still sitting at the table pondering things when Danny Szatkowski walks in. He has a hankerchief in one hand and his belt in the other.
Danny: Whab da hell is goin on? Dobinic and I were jus discussin strategy wheb Highway and a dozen polibe obbicers came in and took him away! ACHOOO!
Vice: Danny, I'm sorry. Kit fired Dominic and I was powerless to stop her. God, you look awful.
Danny: How am I subbosed to defend da tab team belts by myself?? And wib a cold do boot?
Vice: Danny, I can't help you with that. But I CAN promise that if you lose those belts tonight, I'll do everything in my power to make sure you are in line for more gold VERY soon. That's the best I can do, I'm sorry.
Danny: Its nob fair! Welb, thats just great! I'll just hab to beat the Cross Connection bibe myselb! Cold or no ....
Danny lets off a series of violent sneezes.
Danny: ...cold.
Danny turns and leaves. Vice pounds the table with his fist in frustration.
Brad: Jessica has caught up to Matt Korben in the back. Jessica?
The camera switches to Jessica standing with a grinning Matt Korben, who has the Television Championship slung over his shoulder.
Jessica: Matt, congratulations on getting your belt back from Orian. Why do you think he's been acting like this?
Korben: He's jealous is all Jessica. He can't stand the fact that...
Suddenly and without warning, Orian attacks Korben from behind, leveling him with a knee to the back. He stomps on him a couple of times, then reaches down and plucks the belt from the floor and races off. After a couple of seconds, Matt gets up and stalks after him, calling him several choice names as his voice trails off in the distance.
Jessica: Errrrrr ... back to you Brad and Doc.
| TRASH BARLOW VS. RYNE BLOOD |
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall ... introducing first ... from Gary, IN.... weighing 285 pounds ... this is TRASH BARLOW!!
"Disease" by Matchbox 20 plays as Trash lumbers to the ring wearing a torn up Michael Jordan Wizards jersey he must of found in a dumpster somewhere in town, on the back underneath "Jordan" he has painted "Sucks". He climbs into the ring and proudly shows it off to the immense displeasure of the crowd.
Levitan: And his opponent ...led toward the ring by Alyssa Moore... from areas unknown.... weighing 275 pounds .... RYNE BLOOD!
"South of Heaven" by Slayer kicks in on the
PA
system and the
lights go black. One spotlight shines on the top of the ramp and Ryne Blood stands there
wearing black baggy pants, a long black robe with hood that covers his
face and his head is looking at the ground. Alyssa just stands there beside him smirking. Blood walks slowly to the
ring never showing his face. About half way to the ring he stops and he
rips the pants off revealing them to be tear a ways! He walks a little
faster
and hops over the top rope from the apron and removes the hood. Blood glares at the crowd with an evil look in his eyes. He raises one hand and
house
lights go bright. Alyssa claps from her spot a ringside. The crowd is ominously silent.
Brad: Our first look at the man who plans on "cleaning up" the RAWF. So he says.
Doc: Well, if there is anyone in the RAWF that needs cleaning, it's definitely Trash. And after Blood takes care of HIM, his next step is Hogarth.
The bell rings and the two superstars lock up. Ryne immediately shoves Trash to the mat. Trash rolls over upon impact and sits in the corner. Ryne just stands there glaring at him. Trash gets up tentatively and moves toward Blood, only to be met by a kneelift and an elbow to the back of the head that staggers him back. Blood grabs him before he falls and whips him into the corner, following him in with a springboard back elbow. Trash stumbles a couple of steps before doing a nosedive to the mat. Ryne again glares into the crowd, receiving a few boos for his troubles but he ignores them. He picks Trash up, whips him into the ropes and catches him with a tilt-a-whirl slam! Alyssa at ringside squeals in delight and applauds. Ryne then applies a reverse camel clutch on Trash, who bellows in pain.
Doc: Blood calls this move "The Cure". Although what it's supposed to cure, I have no idea.
Brad: And you call yourself a Doc?
Doc: Ohhhhhh, REAL funny Brad, you've been watching the Cartoon Network again haven't you?
Ryne releases the hold before Trash can tap. He drags him to his feet and launches a volley of punches. Trash's head snaps back violently after each one. Then Ryne propels himself into the ropes and connects with a devastating clothesline. Then Ryne spits on the nearly unconscious Barlow and again gives the crowd an ominous glare. Trash crawls over and pathetically tries to climb to his feet in the corner. Ryne watches him for a second, apparently sizing him up, then charges. Somehow, someway, Trash finds the instinct and energy to dive out of the way and Ryne hits the turnbuckle head first. He takes a couple of steps back starts to shake it off, but Trash seizes the moment and clotheslines him to the mat. Trash is on him immediately, biting him on the forehead. Ryne vainly tries to shake him off, but Trash continues until the ref counts four and warns him. Trash gets up and stomps on Blood a few times. Then he drags Ryne over to the corner by his ankles and hangs him upside down in the turnbuckles!! He backs up to the opposite corner and charges, driving a knee right to the solarplexes that makes the crowd go "oomph". He gives the crowd a gap toothes grin and backs up to do it again. But Ryne untangles himself just in time and now its Trash's turn to crash into the turnbuckles. Trash stumbles back and Ryne is on him instantly, with a haymaker that levels Barlow. Ryne picks him up and gives him an F-5!! Barlow shudders helpless on the mat after that impact. Ryne snarls and climbs the top turnbuckle. He leaps and connects with a Kamikazee headbutt! Apparently feeling no ill effects from it, Ryne is up quickly and signals to the crowd that its over. He pulls Trash to his feet and executes the End Game. A cover and 1....2....3 it IS over.
| Winner by pinfall: RYNE BLOOD |
Alyssa joins Ryne in the ring and lifts his arm before the referee can. Ryne accepts it only briefly though and decides he is not done with Trash. He picks him up, grabs him in a full nelson and gives him the Ryne Blood Special. Then he glares into the cameras and yells "You're next little man! We'll see WHO is Fantastic!"
Backstage in the Marduck Services locker room, Justin walks in after watching the Ryne Blood match. Sitting there, flanked by two muscular blondes in tank tops and leather pants, is Tony Marduck.
Tony: Hey Justin, I want you to meet my new bodyguards. This is India and Gertie.
Justin: That's nice Tony, really. But do you think you could turn your attention away from yourself for just a minute and talk to me about my match with Renton Cross??? Or maybe a plan to watch my back in case Ryne Blood and Alyssa decide to interfere??
Tony: Why do you need MY help? YOU'RE the United States Champion hot shot. You figure it out.
Tony goes back to cuddling with his new friends, ignoring Justin.
Justin: You piece of filth.
Justin storms towards the showers, leaving the trio alone.
The camera switches to the restroom backstage. We see Orian open the door and look in. He takes a peek behind him off camera then enters. The Television belt over his shoulder, he lets out a relieved sigh. Satisfied that Korben is nowhere in sight, he starts toward one of the stalls to "do his duty" when the door of a stall bursts open, hitting Orian hard in the face. He falls hard to the tile floor. Matt Korben steps out of the stall and grabs the belt from Orian. He kicks him a couple of times for good measure before leaving the restroom. After a couple of seconds, Orian gets to one knee and starts cursing as the scene fades out.
| BIG KAHUNA VS. MICKYSKIMINS |
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall ... introducing first ... from Honolulu, Hawaii.... weighing 284 pounds .... BIG KAHUNA !
"The Mob Rules" by Black Sabbath is broadcast and Kahuna walks confidently to the ring. Curiously, he notices some signs among the fans, such as "Big K All the Way!" "Hawaiian Haymaker," and "Big Kahuna has Big Cajones." Shaking his head and wondering about some of the fans in attendance, he climbs into the ring.
Levitan: And his opponent ... from Omaha, NE.... weighing 210 pounds ... this is MICKYSKIMINS!!
"Still Waiting" by Sum 41 replaces the Black Sabbath tune, and Micky struts down to ringside. The fans give it to him...mostly boos...and he reads some signs that say...well...lets just say they are derogatory. Not caring what the fans think, he presses on toward the ring, in hopes of upsetting the number one contender, and setting his career path onto a successful course.
Doc: Micky-chitlins has a tall order...the number one contender is looking to make an example out of him tonight, and send a message to Dirge.
Brad: Micky-chitlins? Will you stop?! The man's name is Mickyskimins and you know it! If he can get a win tonight, Micky will position himself for another shot at a title here in the RAWF!
The bell rings, and the two lock-up. Kahuna easily throws him into the ropes, scoops him up, presses him, then drops Mickey behind his back. Upon hearing the thud...B.K. turns around, picks him up and subjects his chest to a series of knife edge chops. The crowd starts yelling "Whooooo." Once Kahuna has Micky's chest glowing as bright as Rudolph's nose, he scoops him up and body slams him to the mat. Micky raises his head, then feels a vise-like grip as Kahuna latches on a reverse chin lock. Squeezing, 'skimins starts to feel light headed. Letting go, Kahuna lets Micky get to his feet. Three head butts later, and Micky drops to the mat, with his forehead looking eerily like his chest.
Brad: Total domination so far...not much else to say right now.
Doc: I have something to say...what an ass-kicking! Kahuna is picking his shots and taking him apart. Is this even legal? Somebody tell Kahuna he can't actually beat him to death...I also wonder how this display is affecting Dirge!
Brad: Will you stop? Kahuna wouldn't murder him. You can't get a title shot in prison. Micky might pull this one out, yet...
Kahuna drags Micky up and punches him a few times. Pressing him overhead, B.K. drops him down hard in a shoulderbreaker. Sensing an injury, Highway sends down the paramedics, just in case. Grabbing him again, Kahuna runs with him and nails a powerslam! getting cocky, he puts a boot on Micky's chest for a nonchalant cover. The ref counts...1-2-kickout. Looking annoyed, Kahuna bends down to grab him again, and gets a thumb to the eye. Summoning up all of his reserves, Mickyskimins gets to his feet and crescent kicks Kahuna. With the advantage, Micky punches and kicks several times, culminating in a standing dropkick. Kahuna stumbles back into the ropes, where both his arms get tangled up between the top and second ropes, effectively making him helpless. Able only to sit there and look on, he watches as Micky runs the ropes, comes back and dropkicks him in the face. The ref tries to get his arms free, and Micky sends a few shots in the big Hawaiian's mug for good measure. Finally getting loose, B.K. gets a boot in the stomach, then Micky positions him for a powerbomb. Unfortunately, he is still weak from the previous beating, and Kahuna has a good 74 pounds on him. 'Skimins back gives out, and he cannot complete the manuever. Kahuna straightens himself up, effectively back-body dropping his opponent. Grasping at his back from the mat, Micky looks on as Kahuna turns around with a smile on his face...
Doc: I have a feeling this isn't going to be pretty...
Brad: Okay, maybe he is going to murder him...
Kahuna picks him up and easily snap suplexes Micky to the middle of the ring. Dropping an elbow, he positions the young wrestler for a nice knee drop, followed by an illegal choke. 1-2-3-4-breaks the chokehold. He latches on again...1-2-3-4-breaks the hold. Getting the out-of-breath Micky to his feet, Kahuna cinches him up, runs the ring, and hits the Rainbow Slam! B.K. makes the cover...1-2-Kahuna picks him up! Dragging 'skimins' carcass around, he applies another Rainbow Slam. 1-2-Kahuna picks him up again. The Hawaiian drags his opponent over to the nearest cameraman. Looking straight into the camera, Kahuna shouts, "Have you been watching Dirge?" "The World belt will be mine!" "Pay attention, I'm, not done yet..." The referee gets in Kahuna's face and tells him to get it over with, or he was stopping the match. B.K. tells him that he isn't stopping anything, it would be over shortly. Getting warned one last time, the ref reminded him that he did have the power to DQ the big Hawaiian and give the match to Mickyskimins. Deciding he better listen to the ref, Kahuna hoists Micky up, starts a slingshot suplex by bouncing him off the top rope...then turns him around mid-air and crushes him with a jackhammer! The count is academic...1-2-3! Paramedics rush in and see what kind of damage was done. The ref orders the Number One Contender out of the ring, and he leaves, satisfied with his performance, and the message he sent Dirge.
Doc: Get a mop and remove Micky-womens...he got squashed in there...
Brad: Kahuna was focused, and Dirge now knows how ruthless Kahuna can be. Their match should prove to be incredible!
Doc: I make this prediction...no matter who wins that match...neither one will be the same again!
Brad: I've just been told that we are about to hear from our Television Champion...who is still in possession of his belt!
| Winner by pinfall: BIG KAHUNA |
The camera shot changes to outside the MCI Center. Standing there shivering a bit, wearing a thick coat and scarf is Matt Korben. He has the Television Championship slung over one shoulder and his hands stuffed in his pockets.
Korben: Brrrrr. Okay, Manning is going to come out and tell me when it's almost time for my match. Orian won't find me out here, he hates the cold as much as I do.
A figure bundled up heavily, scarf and hat covering his head and face, walking heavily on a cane trundles up to Matt.
Old man voice: Do you have the time sonny?
Korben: Yeah sure old timer, it's..
When Korben rolls up his coat sleeve to check his watch, the "old man" whacks him over the head with his cane. The cane breaks in half and Korben mutters a "errrf" and collpases to the cold concrete. The man pulls off his hat ... and of course it's Orian, who laughs and grabs the belt.
Orian: Nice try buddy. I'll be taking that, thank you.
Orian gleefully runs off camera, leaving a dazed and cold Matt Korben to pull himself up and chase after him.
The scene switches to Renton Cross' locker room. Renton walks in and finds Ironman Champion Jeffery Manson sitting on the floor, rocking Mommy in his arms, the Ironman belt draped across his lap.
Renton: Hey, what the hell are you doing in my dressing room?
Manson seems to ignore him and just keeps rocking.
Renton: Hey, crazy boy?? I'm talking to you! Earth to freak! Earth to freak!
Manson: Mommy wanted to come in here, it's quiet in here. Needed somewhere quiet for Mommy to relax before we go out and hurt Fury.
Renton: Yeah, well you aren't going to do it in here! Get the hell out before I kick you out on your sorry ass.
Manson continues to rock as if he never heard Renton.
Renton: Alright, I warned you, you lunatic!
Renton reaches down and grabs the Ironman belt and clobbers Manson over the head with it! Manson's eyes roll over into his head and he slumps to the floor. Renton picks him up and shoves him out the door, then takes Mommy and the belt and tosses them out after him. He slams the door as Manson slowly gets to his knees and picks up Mommy.
Manson: I'm sorry Mommy, did the bad man hurt you?? Don't worry Mommy, he won't ever hurt you again .... NEVER!!
Manson gets to his feet and stumbles off.
(Non Title)
JUSTIN FANTASTIC VS. RENTON CROSS |
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall ... introducing first ... from Salem, Mass.... weighing 220 pounds .... RENTON CROSS!
"What The Hell Have I" by Alice In Chains fires up over the arena sound system. A chorus of boos, followed by "Rol-ler Rol-ler! meet the Man from Salem as he steps out onto the ramp. Signs that say "Frank is God" get shoved in his face. Renton takes one of the signs and rips it up. He makes his way to the ring, frustrated with the fans.
Levitan: And his opponent ... from areas unknown.... weighing 175 pounds ... he is the RAWF United States Champion...he is JUSTIN FANTASTIC !!
"Sympathy For The Devil" by Rolling Stones blares but can hardly be heard over the deafening cheers of the fans. "Fan-tas-tic! Fan-tas-tic!" echo through the arena. Justin sprints to the ring, climbs the turnbuckle and holds the belt up high. The fans take pictures in abundance, flashing lights go off left and right. The ref is ready, the combatants are ready, and Doc and Brad are ready...
Doc: Justin holds all the cards here...this isn't a title defense. If he gets in trouble...he can give it up and save himself an injury. It's best to regroup and fight another day. He has nothing to lose if he plays it right, even if he loses this match, it can be nothing more than a scouting match.
Brad: But if Justin loses, there might be a psychological advantage for Renton going into the title defense. There is something for Justin to lose...
Doc: Leave it to you to bring out "psycho-babble" that no one wants to listen to...Lets get to the action!
The ref calls for the bell, and the match is on. Renton immediately tries a superkick, which Justin ducks. Justin whips around and attempts a superkick of his own, which Renton ducks. They lock up, Renton whips Justin into the ropes, leapfrogs him, then ducks down for a back-body drop. Justin leapfrogs over the bent figure of Renton Cross, continues to run the ropes, bounces back and gets leapfrogged again by Cross. The two bounce off of opposite ropes, both fly in the air, and both attempt high-cross body blocks. They collide in mid-air. Renton, who has more body weight and good momentum, gets the better end of the deal and ends up on top of Justin. The ref makes the count...1-kickout by the champ. Justin quickly gets out from under Cross and runs the ropes again...he bounces off the ropes and comes off with a flying forearm. Renton gets nailed with the blow and hits the mat. He springs up and kicks Justin in the gut, kicks him in the side of the knee, then kicks him in the temple, sending him down. Cross runs the ropes, bounces off the second rope and tries a "lionsault." Justin moves out of the way as Cross crashes to the mat. Justin runs the ropes, and hits "rolling thunder." Renton stays down, so Justin mounts the top rope, waits for Cross to stumble to his feet, then attempts a spinning heel kick from the top. Renton moves out of the way and Justin lands hard. Cross jumps on the chance, picks him up, then hits him with a backbreaker. Picking him up again, he applies a Russian leg sweep with a roll through into a DDT. Going for the cover, the ref makes the count...1-2-kickout!
Brad: Now this is a match! They aren't depending on punches, eye gouges, and face rakes. These guys are are relying on technical know-how. I hope the rest of the RAWF is paying attention!
Doc: The rest of the RAWF is either taking a shower, preparing for a match, or passing the Television title around, but they aren't watching this...give it a rest already!
Renton grabs Justin and puts him on his shoulders, in preparation for a fireman's carry. Justin slips off, grabs Renton, whips him into the ropes. As Cross flies into the ropes, Fantastic follows right behind. Cross jumps up, bounces off the top rope, flips over Justin, lands behind him, grabs him around the waist, and hits a German suplex. Renton bridges up for the cover. The ref makes the count...1-2-kickout! Justin and Renton both flip up. Justin is slightly faster and superkicks Cross just as he gets to his feet, which sends him right back down. Fantastic follows up with a leg drop and cover. The ref makes the count...1-2-kickout! Renton and Fantastic get to their feet. Justin whips Renton into the ropes and hits him with a hurricanrana. Not missing a beat, Justin runs, jumps up, bounces off the top rope, and moonsaults onto Renton for the cover...1-2-kickout!
Doc: Is this a wrestling match or a track meet? Jesse Owens didn't do this much running in one night...
Brad: It's called a technical wrestling match. You aren't familiar with them because you normally don't pay attention to a match unless blood is involved.
Doc: Shouldn't you be reading a book or something, Poindexter?
Cross gets up and starts swinging. Stinging Justin with a few punches, he grabs Fantastic and pulverizes him with a short-arm clothesline. As Justin goes down, so does Cross, with a big elbow. Snapping back to his feet, Cross takes ahold of his opponents legs and hooks a figure-four leglock. In pain, the United States champion tries to make it to the ropes, but can't get there. He tries again, but it isn't happening. His leg throbbing in agony, Justin decides to try and reverse it. Summoning all of his strength, he tries to turn over. Slowly, both men end up on their sides, with Justin putting pressure to flip over, and Cross trying to keep things where they were...after several moments, Justin flips over with Renton, reversing the hold. As the pressure gets applied to him, Cross wastes no time breaking off the hold. Both combatants get to their feet, although not with the usual energy they had at the beginning of the match. Justin, close to the ropes, gets clotheslined up and over to the concrete below. Grabbing the top rope, Cross leans back then slingshots himself up and over, attempting to splash Fantastic on the floor. With incredible presence of mind, the United States Champion rolls out of the way, leaving Renton to splash the concrete. Both men writhe in agony, and the ref makes a count...1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-Justin and Renton roll into the ring, barely making it in time...
Brad: These guys have ran all night, hit each other with maneuvers, brawled a little, then both tasted concrete...they are wearing out in there...either one could pull out a win...
Doc: Absolutely right! This is crunch time! The feeling out process is over, they have clamped on holds...if I was Justin, I'd take the walk right now...he almost got himself hurt getting clotheslined like that...he should take the walk and fight another day!
Renton gets to his feet, but is met with a few punches from Justin. Renton returns fire and whips him into the ropes, when he comes back, he starts a scoop slam that he turns into a reverse DDT. Quickly making the cover, he finds that the ref is out of position.........1-2-kickout! Getting in the ref's face, Cross rather profanely tells the ref what he could do with that 2 count and suggests another vocation. The ref talks back and assures him that if he is touched, then a hefty fine will follow, possibly a suspension. And since Renton doesn't have "High Roller" kind of money to pay off fines, he should get out of his face. Cross then decides he has jawed with the zebra long enough, Turning around, he finds himelf a victim of a small package...the ref makes the count..1-2-reversal! Cross is now on Justin...1-2-reversal! Justin with the pinning combination...1-2-reversal! The two roll right into the ropes, and the ref calls for a break. Justin leaps to his feet, and before Renton can completely get to his feet, Fantastic drops a leg onto the back of his neck, "fame asser" style. Crumpling to the mat, Justin makes the cover...1-2-leg on the ropes! Justin slams his fist into the mat three times in frustration. Justin sits on the top turnbuckle as Renton gets to his feet. The Champ hops on his shoulders and performs a victory roll! The ref makes the count...1-2-reversal! Renton rolls it over and has Justin in a pinning predicament...1-2-3!
Brad: What a match! Renton Cross gets his title shot!
Doc: Cross has his shot, but the Champ now knows his methods, and not from "film," either. He has personal experience of his challenger's modus operandi, and there still is the championship advantage to lean on...if Fantastic wanted too, he can just get himself disqualified or counted out. Renton Cross is still a long way from getting that United States belt!
| Winner by pinfall: RENTON CROSS |
Brad: Hey! Here comes Jeffery Manson through the crowd, he's got Mommy .... what's he doing?
Behind Cross, Manson slips over the barrier and into the ring brandishing Mommy. As Renton has his hand raised by the ref, Manson hits him right between the shoulder blades. Renton falls to his knees in agony as the ref gets between the two. Manson threatens to hit the ref with Mommy, but Justin has gotten up and seeing that, Manson decides to make a hasty exit. He trudges up the ramp while Renton lies on the canvas holding his sore back. Justin, not having the energy to chase Manson, goes to collect his belt. But charging down the ramp past Manson comes Ryne Blood toting a tire iron! He runs around the ring and nails Justin from behind with it. Justin goes down and Ryne spits on him, then grins and follows Manson up the ramp.
Doc: You know, I really do love it when these guys live up to the name of the show! You think Manson is Frank Manning's son or something?And how about the fact that two weeks in a row we have seen Hogarth laid out by Ryne? This is great! No better place to be than the RAWF right now!!!
Brad: Renton and Justin both getting up thankfully. Boy, Renton looks pissed! Justin holding his side, like he's hurt badly. That could bode well for Renton.... who is stalking back up the ramp.
Orian is outside the MCI Center, trying to hail a cab. He is nervously looking behind him, keeping an eye out for Korben. Finally a cab pulls up and he gets in. The cab driver has a Yankees ball cap pulled down over his eyes and we can't see his face.
Cabbie: Where to bub?
Orian: The airport please and step on it!
Cabbie: Sure thing...
The "driver" steps on it just as Orian requested, sending Orian flying back into the seat, but almost as quickly he slams on the brakes and Orian flies face first into the window between the front seat and back seat. As Orian lies there dazed, the cabbie pulls off his hat revealing him to be Korben. He quickly gets out and opens the back door. He grabs the belt from the seat and slams the door in Orian's face as he tries to stop him. Korben leaves the cab parked in the middle of the street and walks off. All around the cab, cars are honking their horns as Orian struggles to get out of the cab....
We see Kit sitting at a desk, talking on the phone...
Kit: No, of course it was a joke Dirge! I would never fire my World Champion, that would be STUPID! It was just a joke.
Kit smiles and listens into the phone for a few seconds before laughing.
Kit: You are such a cut up Champ. I know you'll be back from that injury by Unleashed right?
As she is listening to her response, Renton Cross bursts, looking furious, he starts to say something, but Kit holds up a hand and he pauses ... looking bewildered, but pauses all the same.
Kit: Well Dirge, you just rest that sore abdomen and we'll talk again soon. Bye Champ.
Kit hangs up the phone, then turns in her chair to meet Renton's cold glare. She gives him her "winning" smile.
Kit: Let me guess Mr. Cross ...... you're unhappy with Mr. Manson and want him in the ring ... yadda yadda yadda .... am I correct?
Renton: You're damn right!!! That freaky piece of dung just tried to cripple me with his stupid sledgehammer!! I not only want his ass on a platter, I want that belt he's so proud of!
Kit: Hmmmm, so let me get this straight .... not only do expect to get away with what you did to one of my reporters without being fined, but you also have the balls to come in here and make demands of ME??? Now mind you, Frank Manning is only one step above a termite in terms of species, but I still have to pay the man's hospital bills if he gets injured. But all that aside, you are in here DEMANDING something from ME?
Renton: Okay, okay ... I'm sorry about Manning, I'll pay the damn bills for it .... just give me Manson ..... I WON'T let that lunatic get away with this!
Kit: Fine .... you can have a shot at his Ironman Championship at Unleashed. You can spin the wheel to see what type of match it is next week if you want. And don't worry about Manning's bills, just be glad you don't have to pay his bar tab.
She stands up and puts both hands on her desk and leans forward, glaring at Renton.
Kit: But let me tell you something Renton. You owe me .... you owe me BIG. And I ALWAYS collect on debts. Remember that.
Kit and Cross stare at each other for a few seconds before Renton turns and walks out. Kit sits back down with that grin on her face and giggles evily.
RAWF Television Championship
MATT KORBEN VS. BLACKOUT |
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall ... introducing first ... from Dickson, Tennessee.... weighing 275 pounds .... he is the RAWF Television Champion... MATT KORBEN !
"Sandstorm" by Darude plays to the crowd's delight. They get up on their feet for the entrance of the Television Champion. As he walks toward the ring he seems distracted, looking behind him and peering into the crowd. He walks over to the ring, leans down and peers underneath. He walks around the ring, checking it out on every side. Satisfied, he sets the belt on the announcers table and we can hear him saying to Brad "Keep an eye on this for me willya?"
Brad: Uh, sure Matt. Doc, keep your hands off.
Doc: I don't want it, it's been handled way too much tonight as it is. Who knows what germs have gotten on it.
Korben climbs into the ring and awaits his opponent.
Levitan: The challenger... from Whittier, CA.... weighing 235 pounds ... this is BLACKOUT!!
"Toxic" by Crazytown plays and Blackout walks out of the curtain. He recieves a decent pop from the crowd as he runs down to the ring, jumps in and raises his arms in the air.
Brad: Want to guess how long before Orian shows up Doc?
Doc: Oh, I'm sure he's lurking about, but my question is ... if Blackout wins, will the THREE of them play tag with the damn belt?
The bell rings and they lock up. Korben forces Blackout into the corner and starts whacking him with chops. Blackout responds with a couple of punches that get him out of the corner. Korben retaliates with a kneeshot to the groin, followed by a swinging neckbreaker that takes Blackout to the mat. Korben glances back toward the ramp looking for Orian. Blackout takes the opportunity to get in a low blow. Korben doubles over and Blackout gets to one knee and hits him with a jab right in the kisser. Korben staggers back and into the ropes. Blackout dropkicks him on the rebound.
Doc: Brad, are you playing footsie with me?? I think thats totally disgusting and inappropriate.
Brad: What the hell are you talking about Doc? I'm not touching you!
Doc: Well SOMEBODY did!
Blackout picks Korben up and throws him into the ropes, putting him in a sleeper!! Korben struggles for a few moments, then slowly starts to sag. Suddenly, out from under the announcers table comes Orian, who reaches up and snatches the belt from Brad's grasp. He laughs hysterically as he runs around the ring into Korben's view and races up the ramp. Enraged, Korben elbows Blackout a couple of times, forcing him to release the hold. Korben grabs him by the ankle, flipping him off his feet and causing his head to hit the mat with a dull thud. Korben quickly turns him over with a bellow of desperate rage, he applies the Krippler and twists as hard as he can. Blackout agonizes for a few seconds before pounding the mat desperately, tapping out. Korben doesnt wait for the ref to raise his arm as he charges out of the ring and up the ramp in pursuit of his belt.
| Winner by submission: MATT KORBEN |
Tony Marduck is coming out of the bathroom when he runs into Jessica Beach.
Jessica: Tony, is Bill Fury prepared for his match with such an unpredictable opponent like Jeffery Manson? And how is Justin dealing with his earlier loss to Renton Cross?
Tony: Look sweetheart, I don't have time for this. Fury is ready for that idiot Manson and Justin is just a loser that happened to get lucky in a free-for-all! Now if you don't mind, I've got to go find my bodyguards, then find Bill so he can spin the wheel.
Jessica: Oh, you mean those two girls I saw you with earlier .... errr... I just saw them over in the commissary kitchen.
Tony: Thanks babe, catch you later.
The camera follows Tony down the hall to the commissary. He walks past the empty tables and pushes open the kitchen door. Inside we see the two girls laughing and giggling as a figure between them is whispering into their ears while stirring a pot on the stove. It just so happens to be the Iron Chef!
Tony: Hey! You two get over here! You're supposed to be guarding ME!
Chef: Tsk tsk Tony. You should treat women with more respect. I suggest you apologize before I get angry.
Tony's face gets red as he tries to stutter out a response. Instead, he turns and leaves the kitchen yelling out Fury's name.
Chef: Bonjour Mr. Mardock. Hee hee. Ladies, now where were we?
The camera fades out as we hear the girls giggle some more.
World Tag Team Championship
(Handicap Match)
CROSS CONNECTION
VS.
DANNY SZATKOWSKI |
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! ... introducing first ... from Dickson, Tenn.... with a combined weight of 485 pounds....JANGO CROSS and XAVIER CROSS......THE CROSS CONNECTION!!!
"Around The World" by Union Underground plays as the two brothers make their way to ringside smiling at the fans, despite being jeered like crazy.
Brad: This is ridiculous. There is no way Szatkowski can beat these two as sick as he is. He should be in bed, not defending his belt ... at the least he should of had time to choose a new partner!!!
Doc: First you brag about how he pinned the World Champion, now you complain because he's been dealt a bad hand! If I were to do that, you'd be all sarcastic with ME! Guess what, I'm not shedding any tears over Danny Sagittarius.
Brad: SZATKOWSKI!
Doc: Whatever.
Levitan: And their opponent ... from Battle Creek, MI.... weighing 225 pounds ... this is DANNY SZATKOWSKI!!
As "Jump" by Van Halen plays, Danny walks down the ramp. His eyes and nose look red, and he carries BOTH Tag Team belts to the ring. The crowd gives him a tremendous ovation, respecting what he's doing and saluting him for it.
Doc: Geez, he DOES look awful. Maybe all he has to do is breath on them, get THEM sick and he might have a shot. Or GET sick on them, that might do it too.
Brad: And now we know why you are on of the top color men in the business Doc, you always know what to say to keep the fans tuned in.
Before the bell rings, both Crosses charge Danny, who sees them coming and gets both belts up to protect himself. Both Jango and Xavier run headfirst into a belt and hit the mat hard, clutching their noses. The bell rings. Danny tosses the belts aside and waits in an offensive stance. Jango gets up only to be leveled by a Szatkowski dropkick. Xavier gets up and meets the same fate. Jango gets up again and Danny serves him another one that sends him into and over the ropes. He lands outside on the apron and lies there stunned. Danny pulls Xavier to his feet and whips him into the ropes and knees him in the midsection. Xavier doubles over. Danny propels himself off the ropes behind Xavier and executes a sunset flip. Ref counts 1..2.. kickout by Xavier. Both men get up but Danny grabs Xavier into a small package. Ref counts 1..2.. Xavier kicks out again. Danny gets up and propels himself into the ropes toward as Xavier stumbles to his feet. Danny hits him with a flying bodypress and hooks the leg. Ref counts 1...2... Xavier gets out once more.
Brad: Give the Teen Sensation credit, he's doing the smart thing here. Try to end it as quick as possible, because that cold isn't going to give him much stamina to survive a long match, especially a handicap match!!
Doc: You've got a point Brad, but he's gonna have to wear Xavier down a little more and pray he doesn't have an opportunity to tag Jango.
Danny runs the ropes again and tries another bodypress, but Xavier telegraphs it and ducks out of the way. Danny lands with a thud on the canvas and lies still. Xavier crawls quickly over to Jango, who got up a few minutes ago and got to the corner. They tag and Jango comes right after Danny. However, Danny was playing possum and catches Jango with a Russian leg sweep, causing him to fall flat on his face. Danny grabs Jango's ankle and stands up. He pulls the leg up and drives it down, Jango's knee plunging to the mat with a crack. He repeats the process twice more, each time Jango cries out in pain. Danny drags Jango to the center of the ring and puts him in a Boston Crab! Jango's cries become even louder now as Danny leans back, trying to bend Jango in half. Just as it looks like Jango might tap, Xavier comes charging in and clotheslines Danny from behind. The ref admonishes Xavier and forces him back to his corner, but the damage has been done. Jango crawls over and pulls himself up on the ropes as Danny struggles to rise. Jango tests his bad knee for a second and after finding it still whole, he walks over and drives a knee to Danny's back. He repeats the action several times before dragging Danny to his feet and tossing him into The Cross Connection corner. Jango distracts the referee by arguing over a supposed hair pull when he threw him. Meanwhile, Xavier is busy trying to choke Danny out with the tag rope. After about thirty seconds of this, Jango stops arguing with the ref and walks over and pounds away on Danny with several punches to the face and midsection. He tags Xavier in and the two combine to whip Danny into the ropes and double clothesline him. Jango returns to his corner as Xavier proceeds to pound the stuffing out of Danny with first a DDT, followed by several knife edge chops and then a hurricanrana.
Brad: Danny is not going to last much longer. If his nose and lungs are stuffed up, he's going to find breathing harder to do than normal. How long before he just can't take the abuse any more and passes out from lack of enough oxygen to the brain?
Doc: You might as well count The Cross Connection the Tag Champions now, because no man ... I don't care if you are immortal ... can last long under these conditions.
Xavier tries for a pin, but Danny just barely gets a shoulder at 2. Disgusted, Xavier picks Danny up and drags him over to his corner and tags Jango. They both lift him up and drop him over their knees in a double backbreaker manuever. Jango tries a pin, but again Danny is able to eek a shoulder up off the mat. Jango picks Danny up again and whips him into the ropes. Jango nails a perfect tilt-a-whirl slam. The crowd boos as Jango laughs and shakes his head at Xavier. "This is too easy!" he cries and Xavier just nods and laughs along with him. Jango decides its time to end this and claim his half of the championship. He rolls Danny over and applies..
Doc: CROSSOVER!!! It's all over Brad!! No way can Danny take this for long, and it's right smack dab in the center of the ring!
Brad: He hasn't submitted yet Doc!! He's still holding on with everything he's got!!
Danny bellows in agony as the ref asks him if he wants to give up. He shakes his head no and desperately tries to claw his way toward the ropes. Suddenly "Never Gonna Stop" by Rob Zombie starts playing and everyone looks toward the ramp in confusion. Out from the curtain, Matt "Daddy" Higgerson, newest signee of RAWF, comes charging down the ramp and gets up on the apron and grabs the tag rope in Danny's corner. He starts stomping on the mat to get the crowd into it and pleads for Danny to hang in there.
Doc: Who the hell does THIS guy think he is?? He's not scheduled to wrestle until next week!!
Brad: Matt "Daddy" Higgerson has come down to help out Danny Szatkowski!!! But will Danny even get a chance to tag him???
The crowd starts stomping in their seats and the MCI Center starts thrumming with a rhythmic beat. Danny manages to reach out and grab the bottom rope. The ref forces Jango to break the hold. Jango stomps on Danny a couple of times, then glances over in confusion at Danny's new partner. He points him out to the ref who shrugs. Jango picks Danny up and hits him with several punches that stagger the Teen Sensation. Jango whips him into the ropes and attempts a clothesline, but Danny somehow manages the instinct to duck under it and rebound, hitting Jango with a flying elbow that knocks them both off their feet. Both men lie on the mat for several seconds while a frantic Higgerson yells for Danny to get up and tag him. Jango starts to crawl toward his corner ... and so does Danny. Just as Jango makes the tag, Danny, with a last gasp effort, lunges and slaps hands with Higgerson! "Daddy" hits the ring guns a blazing! He nails Xavier with half a dozen wild right hands to the face. He knocks him down with a haymaker. Jango jumps into the fray, only to be met with the same treatment! Xavier gets up and charges Matt, but gets met with a big boot to the face. Moments later, Jango tries to charge and is also met by a boot. Matt picks Jango up only to drop him with a superkick that sends him hard into the corner, where he slumps to the canvas. Then he grabs Xavier by the hair and hauls him to his feet. He looks to the crowd for approval and they give it in full force. He runs with Xavier toward the neutral turnbuckles, climbs them with his feet and executes a tornado DDT! He then gives a thrust gesture that signals his finisher! He picks Xavier up and delivers a MATT DADDY DROP!! He covers Xavier and the ref counts 1...2...3!!
Brad: HE DID IT! HE DID IT! Danny keeps the tag belts and he has Matt Higgerson to thank!
Doc: What a travesty of justice!!
As Matt helps Danny into the ring and the ref hands them the tag belts.... Thomas Highway comes down to the ringside area and grabs the microphone.
Highway: Hold on there Matt "Daddy"! You never signed any contract to wrestle tonight! You weren't even scheduled to BE here tonight. And you had absolutely no business getting into the ring and thinking you were going to win a belt!! That pinfall didn't count! YOU will return to the locker room and get the hell out of here. This match WILL continue!!
The fans boo mercilessly as Highway points to the ramp and demands Higgerson get a move on. Jango and Xavier clap and make shooing gestures to Matt, who scowls at them and Highway, but reluctantly gets out of the ring and trudges up the ramp, arguing with Highway the entire way. Once Higgerson disappears through the curtain, the ref rings the bell and the match restarts.
Doc: That's what I like! A commisioner not afraid to enforce the rules! Great job Thomas!
Brad: That's twice tonight Highway has screwed Danny!! That was totally uncalled for!
Doc: No, what Higgerson did was uncalled for! Highway was just doing his job! Quit whining Brad! Danny didn't lose the belts and he got a break as well!
Xavier and Jango whip Danny into the ropes and double backdrop him. Jango returns to the corner as Xavier starts choking Danny out with his foot. The ref warns him and counts to four before Xavier releases the choke. He picks Danny up and hits him a right hand, but Danny in a surge of adrenaline returns the punch. Xavier throws another punch, but Szatkowski blocks it and rakes him in the eyes. The crowd starts to get behind Danny as he seens to come alive with a flurry of offensive punches and kicks. Jango come into the ring and knees Danny in the back, putting a halt to his onslaught. The two gang up on the youngster and throw him into the ropes, only to be double clotheslined by The Teen Sensation!!! Danny gets a huge pop from the crowd and draws from it! He climbs the top rope and hits Xavier as he's getting to his feet with a missile dropkick!!! He covers, ref counts 1...2... Jango breaks it up at the last possible second by diving with an axehandle to the back of Szatkowski's head. The ref forces Jango back to the corner as Xavier crawls over and applies a crossface!!
Brad: Come on Danny, hang in there!! After all the fight this kid has shown tonight ... after all the adversity he's faced ... can he hang in there one more time???
After several agonizing moments of trying to get out of the move with several reversals that Xavier just reverses right back, Danny finally taps. The ref calls for the bell.
Doc: The answer would be "No." Brad
Winners and
NEW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS:
THE CROSS CONNECTION |
Brad: What a travesty! What a miscarriage of justice! What a...
Doc: ...headache you are giving me! Hey! Who's that sneaking into the ring??
As Jango and Xavier celebrate, from the crowd two figures slide into the ring behind them!
Brad: JOHN PATRICK AND JOSH SWANSON!!!
Doc: WHAT THE.... I thought they quit????
Patrick sneaks up behind Xavier and Josh sneaks up behind Jango. Both grab their respective rivals and spin them around, nailing them with punches. Both Crosses drop their belts and stagger back. Patrick nails Xavier with a reverse atomic drop, then puts him in the Legend Lock! Swanson hits the Innovation on Jango!!! He picks him up and does it AGAIN! After Xavier passes out from the pain of the hold, Patrick lets him go and the two help Danny to his feet. They leave the new champs sprawled out in the ring as the crowd gives the three a standing ovation.
Brad: Too bad these two couldn't arrive a few minutes sooner....
Doc: Bah! Doesn't matter ... The Cross Connection are the new Tag Team Champions ... and all THOSE GUYS get is sour grapes!!
Back at Vice's office, the cameras have followed "Bigshot" Bill Fury. As the challenger for the Ironman Championship, it is up to him to spin the wheel. With his big paw, he gives a good spin...round and round it goes until it lands on...
RAWF Ironman Championship
Lumberjack Rules
JEFFERY MANSON VS. BILL FURY |
Levitan: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and will be contested under lumberjack rules ... introducing first ... The RAWF Ironman Champion...from Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.... weighing 237 pounds .... JEFFERY MANSON!
"Down With The Sickness" by Disturbed plays as Manson, cradling Mommy with one hand and the title in the other, makes his way to ringside. Getting into the ring, he slumps into a corner, with the belt on his lap, and the hammer snuggled firmly to his chest. Inaudible, he mumbles a few things under his breath. The fans, not caring much for Manson or Mommy, stays mostly silent, not bothering with boos.
Levitan: And his opponent ... from Glascow, Scotland.... weighing 300 pounds ... this is BILL FURY!!
"Paradise City" by Guns And Roses plays as the crowd gets a little excited. The seven foot beast comes down with Tony Marduk squawking behind him. Many people boo Marduk, some give the same treatment to Bill, while others decide to cheer for him. Cautiously, he gets in the ring, but notices that Mommy is no longer with the Mad Man.
Levitan: And now...the lumberjacks!
One by one, the rest of the roster makes their way down the ramp...Kahuna, Blackout, Bo Dacious, Szatkowski, High Roller, Chef, Jango and Xavier, Swanson, Justin, Matt Higgerson, Korben, Orian (with Televison Title around his waist), Mickyskimmins, Ryne Blood, John Patrick, Renton Cross, and Trash Barlow. At first sight of Orian, Korben attacks, sending Williams flying into Trash, courtesy of a dropick. Trash falls into Renton Cross, who grabs him and posts him out of irritation. Korben grabs the belt off of Orian, and smacks him with it for good measure. As if a gun went off to start a brawl, the lumberjacks begin hammering whoever they can reach. Jango locks up with Swanson, and they exchange punches. High Roller sneaks up behind Bo Dacious and locks on the Gold Standard, putting him asleep. The crowd roars its approval. Patrick grabs Xavier Cross and heaves him over the security rail, into the laps of several fans, spilling beer in the process. Ryne Blood and Justin start to get things going, but are interrupted by Blackout, who in turn gets doubled teamed and beat down. After dispatching Blackout, the two resume hostilities. Higgerson backjumps Big Kahuna, who shrugs off the blow, turns around and kicks Matt in his "daddy," which causes him to crumple. Picking him up, B.K. throws him inadvertantly into Szatkowski, who was trying to mind his own business. After posting Trash, Renton superkicks Mickyskimins right in his chinins. Iron Chef very intelligently moves over to the far side of the ring and enjoys the view.
Doc: This is a hell of a match! I wonder if Fury and Manson are going to have one, too?
Brad: Will we have a match? If so, will the lumberjacks keep the competitors from finishing? They might want to consider spinning the wheel again...
In Kit's office, the owner is not looking amused. Vice is admiring the fight outside the ring along with the rest of the fans, and Highway is gloating internally about his ouster of Payne.
KIT: The two of you get out there right now and break that up. Every lumberjack match I've seen, the guys end up looking bored until someone is thrown out of the ring. The guys we've got start out like rabid animals...GO CALM THEM DOWN! They wont ruin my main event!
Vice: What are they ruining? The match hasn't started yet. Besides, the fans love this. This type of environment is perfect for an "Ironman champion."
Highway: There wont be an Ironman champion if those guys take it into the ring and destroy those two...
Vice: (sighing) Okay. Fine. Lets go. I'm not sure what we are going to do...but lets go.
Korben raises his belt high in the air in victory, as Orian lays on the ground. Xavier Cross gets out of the crowd, snatches the belt out of Korben's hands, then runs after Patrick, intending on evening the score. Patrick ducks the swing and uppercuts Xavier, sending the belt flying, just as Korben tackles Xavier from behind. Patrick catches the belt, turns and smacks High Roller, who was still soaking in his "victory" over Bo Dacious. Justin whips Ryne into Patrick, causing him to lose his grip on the belt, just as Korben tackles him from behind. Justin cracks Ryne and moves around to the opposite side of the ring, with belt in hand. Szatkowski grabs Higgerson and slings him into Kahuna. Not happy with all of this, Matt "Daddy" pops B.K. in the mouth, and the two start a "pier 6" brawl. Trash barrells into Szatkowski from behind, slaps a full-nelson on him, picks him up, and slams him down on the ground. Swanson and Jango hit each other with a barrage of blows. Swanson gets the upper hand and gorilla presses him. Before he can drop him, though, Jango squirms out of his reach, drops, lands on his feet behind him, grabs him and applies an atomic drop. Blackout gets to his feet and delivers a spinning heel kick to the back of Jango Cross. Inside the ring, Fury and Manson look on, impressed with the fracas. Bill is wishing he could join in the fun, but resists doing so because of the match. Manson wonders if Mommy should be cleaned after the match. The ref, giving up hope that the lumberjacks will control themselves, calls for the opening bell and hopes for the best!
Doc: Are you kidding me? The match starts now? This should be good.
Brad: For better or worse, we have to have a main event. Here goes nothing!
Manson charges Fury, who kicks him to the mat. Manson sits up, grabs his leg, and...bites as hard as he can. Fury screams in surprise and agony. The ref starts a count 1-2-3-4...Manson lets go of the bite, blood trickling from the sides of his mouth. Enraged, Fury kicks him again, picks him up and immediately chokeslams him in the middle of the ring. Stomping his opponent's face and mouth like HE was the "mad man," Fury opens up Manson's lips and gums. A bloody mess, Jeffrey rolls out of the way. Sitting up, he puts his fingers to his lips, looks on at the blood on his hand, and licks it with a smile. Not impressing Bill in the least, Fury takes two steps and punts his opponent in the jaw. Quickly picking him up, Bill throws him out of the ring...
Brad: Manson was really "eating him up" in there...hehe
Doc: It's safe to say that the Mad Man is really "sinking his teeth" into this match..hehehe...Although the "bill" for the meal is really steep!
At the same time, Vice and Highway are taking their time winding through the backstage area and getting to ringside. Highway, not really wanting to get into the thick of things, hopes that the situation gets calm by the time they get there. Vice doesn't care one way or the other, because he doesn't plan on doing much once about the situation unless it spills into the ring.
Highway: What do you think? Threaten them with termination if they don't straighten up?
Vice: Do whatever the hell you want, Tom.
Manson collapses on Iron Chef, who had been doing a pretty good job at staying out of trouble. Chef gets up, punches Manson for good measure, and whips him toward the post. At the same time, Justin, with the Television title as his weapon of choice, walks around the side of the ring to what he thought was safe territory when he is hit with careening Manson. Mad, Justin clocks him with the belt. Dropping his weapon, Justin throws Jeffery back in the ring. Spreading out a little, some of the wrestlers battle around the ring and make their way to Chef and Justin's location. John Patrick is not one of those wrestlers. As Ryne gets off of him, JP turns around and slaps a belly to belly suplex on Korben for the inconvenience of being tackled. Korben returns the favor with a thumb to the eye and headbutt, but gets stopped short by the attacking Ryne Blood. Inside the ring, Fury grabs Manson and bodyslams him, with an elbow drop follow through. Bill decides to rest some more, and hurls the Mad Man over the top rope again, this time, on Ryne and Patrick, who were in the process of beating down Korben. Extricating himself from the predicament, Korben sees his belt gleaming in the air as it is being brandished by Justin against Renton Cross, who decided he wanted more of the United States Champion. Starting to rush over there, he gets tackled a few feet away from his belt as it gets involved with a tug of war between Cross and Fantastic. Spinning around, Matt sees that Orian is the one that got to him. Williams pummels him with some shots, buries a knee into his chest and goes after the belt himself. Orian double clotheslines Justin and Renton, and grabs the belt for himself. In hot pursuit, Korben closes in on his position. Meanwhile, Ryne and JP work over Manson a little bit and sling him back in the ring. The two of them then go to find someone to fight. Bill sees Manson get into the ring. Groggy, Jeffrey searches his brain, looking for a strategy to fight this huge man. He finds it in his memories of old Dominic Payne matches. When Fury comes to collect him, Manson sends a haymaker straight into the Fury family jewels. Doubling over, Fury almost loses his lunch along with the ability to have children. Mad Man runs the ropes and gives him a high knee in the back, which sends the seven footer through the ropes and onto Kahuna and Higgerson, who are still brawling. B.K. and Higgerson struggle to get out from under him, then decide to give him a few shots for his trouble. High Roller comes over to join the "party," along with Blackout, Xavier Cross, and the now-awake Bo Dacious. Swanson and Jango fight over to the same location. Xavier leaps on Swanson's back, but gets thrown off by Trash. Thrashing around to free himself, Fury nails Swanson with a punch. Looking to see who hit him, Blackout happens to get in Josh's line of vision just as he turns around. Grabbing him ferociously, Swanson subjects him to a thrashing not seen much in the annals of wrestling. Spearing him into the guard rail, he slams 5 rapid punches into Blackout's stomach. He picks him up, brutalizes him with rights and lefts, then drapes his throat over the rail and drops him. Clutching his throat, Blackout gasps for air. Swanson torments him some more until High Roller stops hitting Fury and starts blasting him. The Cross Connection is all set to beat on Josh when they see Roller take over. Jango, remembering the kick he received earlier, eyeballs Blackout, and motions over to Xavier. The Connection take turns beating on him, with Jango getting a chair and thrusting it into his throat. Vice and Highway, who had made it down to ringside, run back up quickly and get the paramedics. Orian, belt in hand, gets in the ring to "take a shortcut" away from Korben. Manson helps him on his way by grabbing him and sending him over the ropes, onto Szatkowski. Szatkowski grabs the belt laying beside him, lays into Orian, then sets off to return the Title to its rightful owner. Bill has had enough. With all of his strength, he shrugs off Higgerson, Barlow, and Dacious. Letting out a primevil scream, the wrestlers give him a respectful distance. Bill gets back into the ring.
Doc: So far, the first victim of the Fury/Manson match is...Blackout! We have chaos on Chaos, and the two contestants have spent a total of about 5 seconds in the ring together. I love this match. I hope it gets even dirtier...
Brad: I'm hoping Vice and Highway can straighten it up!
Doc: You are no fun.
Manson dropkicks Fury, climbs the ropes, and comes down on him with a double ax-handle. Weakened from his fight with the lumberjacks, Bill drops to the mat. Manson climbs the ropes again and delivers a big splash/pinning combination. The ref makes the count...1-2-kickout! Bill wraps a hand around Manson's throat and squeezes. Catching up on his "oxygen-debt," Mad Man stops his offensive to recover. Fury stands up painfully and clotheslines Manson. He picks him up again and headbutts him to the mat. Jeffery tries to keep Bill from picking him up, but to no avail. Fury presses him over his head and throws him out of the ring, where he hits the concrete floor. Manson doesn't move. Korben notices Szatkowski holding the belt and rushes to meet him. Thinking he stole it just like Orian, he pops him with a dropkick. Picking up Szatkowski, he gives him a backbreaker and lets him go. Scooping up his belt, he makes his way to the ramp. At the ramp, Orian meets him with a single-leg trip, knocking him down. Vice pulls Orian off of Korben and lets him know that by getting in the ring, he has put himself on "thin ice" with the owner and should leave the arena immediately. Orian takes one more look at Korben and complies. Korben leaves through the crowd so that nobody will grab his Title. Some fans try, but security helps get "The Man" out safely. Highway stops Patrick and Blood, and orders them out of the arena. Not that the two did anything necessarily wrong, Highway just wanted to abuse his authority and make himself feel better. The ambulance gets Blackout to the hospital in a timely manner and he is now being treated. Swanson is quickly preparing High Roller for the roll of Blackout's roommate with a series of slams, clotheslines, punches, and headbutts. The bloodied Roller tries for hold that will allow him to rest, but Swanson has none of that, as he slams The Gambler into the post. With Vice getting medical attention for High Roller, Highway orders Swanson, gone, too. The Commissioner personally escorts Josh from ringside for two reasons. First, things were clearing out, and the danger was primarily over, and he really wanted to get away. Two, He thought Swanson would make a break back to the ring.
Brad: Good. Things are settling down, some law has been laid down. Let's get a winner of this match.
Doc: Good? We have a "lumberjack match" that's a few lumberjacks short, and the champ is laid out on the floor. Things were just getting interesting, there.
Mickyskimins, who had just recovered from that initial hit into his glass jaw, recovers just long enough to be brutalized by the Cross Connection. Bill Fury sits back in a corner, getting a breather. Kahuna and Higgerson stopped fighting each other and decided Bo Dacious was a good target. Kahuna grabs Bo and hoists him up in the air, while Higgerson clotheslines him out of Kahuna's grasp. Trash then seizes the opportunity and knees Kahuna in the back. When Kahuna spins around, Trash swings at him. B.K. ducks, picks up Trash, and runs him, "back-first," into the ring post. Higgerson stomps on Bo and picks him up for a suplex. Out from the crowd comes a tall man, wide and scary, who wears a gray mask with �R.I.P� across the forehead as if inscribed on a tombstone. He is wearing a black bodysuit and black boots, with a skull and sickle on the sides and black soles on them. He clips Higgerson in the legs, sending Bo crashing on top of him. Kahuna grabs him and throws him into the same place he put the Trash. Death hits Trash solidly, as Trash was still leaning on the post. Death hip-tosses Trash away from him and moves carefully past Kahuna to where the Cross Connection are destroying Micky.
Brad:Who is that and why is he here?
Doc:Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. The guy probably seen that lumberjacks wre getting thrown out, and decided to give a helping hand...
Brad: Yeah, that's it. Has to be. Idiot. Now who is that coming?
Death gives Micky an unintentional break by attacking Xavier. Sending a European forearm into his back, Xavier is pushed away from his hapless victim. Jango looks incredulous and lays some lumber to Death. As the two trade blows, another tall and scary guy comes out of the crowd. He also wears a mask. It is black with green glitter dollar signs on each side. Across the forehead is �1040� in the same green glitter as the dollar signs. Sporting an identical black bodysuit as Death, he also wears black boots with a green dollar sign and a green �treasury department� style badge on each. "Taxes" attacks Jango and the two of them start getting the upper hand when Xavier recovers and evens the odds.
Brad: Now look, this is getting ridiculous!
Doc: You say ridiculous, I say interesting!
Just as Highway feared, Swanson came back down, although he came down with John Patrick, the two immediately join the tag team melee. On the other side of the squared circle, Manson recovers and starts crawling under the ring. Renton Cross grabs his legs and pulls him out. What he saw made him wish he could push him back in. The Mad Man came out with Mommy! He twisted around and nailed Renton with the hammer. Ducking back under the ring, Manson lays still one more time. Justin comes over to do some more damage to Cross, a few stomps, perhaps a chair shot. As he gets himself a chair, Manson rolls out with a glass bottle and Mommy. As Fantastic turns around, the Mad Man busts him in the knee with the hammer, sending him down. Seeing Justin go down, Iron Chef investigates and gets mowed down by Mommy. Jeffery picks Renton's head up and smashes it with the bottle, busting him open. Grabbing some of the shards, he decides to eat them with a smile. For good measure, he hits Justin in the knee again. Bill Fury gets out of the corner to investigate. Seeing that several guys were in Manson's vicinity, yet none came out of that area, made him nervous. Manson puts his head down on the apron, with Mommy covered up underneath his chest. The ref's attention is distracted, as he tries to prevent more injuries and attempts to deal with Death, Taxes, Swanson, JP, and the Connection. Vice and Highway come back down with security guards, and the impromptu three-way tag match comes to an end. As Bill pokes his head through the second rope and reaches out to grab Jeffery by the hair and pull him into the ring, Manson raises his head, and like a flash Mommy punishes Fury with a hard blow to the head. Before the ref turns his attention back to the ring, Manson hits Renton several times in the stomach with the hammer. Returning Mommy to her hiding place under the ring, Manson slides into the squared circle and covers his challenger. The Ironman champion yells at the ref, who gets into the ring and makes the count...1-2-3!
| Winner by pinfall: JEFFERY MANSON |
Brad: What a travesty! This wasn't a lumberjack match, it was a handicap match. Mommy and Manson versus Bill Fury and Bill Fury lost.
Doc: Boo-hoo. Fury should have done his homework. Everyone knows that clown carries a hammer, he should have looked for it. That was a brutal match, with both guys getting worked over by lumberjacks. The lumberjacks got worked over by the lumberjacks. We had Highway and Vice come down. What the hell more do you want?
Brad: What I want is a fair match. Bill Fury got absolutely SCREWED! As far as I'm concerned, Fury dominated the match, and should be the Ironman champion! It took a hammer to keep that title away from him!
Doc: It took an underdeveloped brain to keep that title away from him, and that's all this week from Chaos!
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