Laguna is a Moron
Warning: Contains some FFVIII spoilers, a tad bit of language, and general Laguna bashing. So if you like Laguna, suck it up and deal, or just hit your back button.
The rant: Laguna Loire and Why He's Such a Goddamned Moron.
...seemed like a good subject to start on, so here we go!
As you can tell from the title, you should know that I already believe Laguna from Final Fantasy VIII to be a goddamn moron. Hell, if you've played the game yourself, you should know firsthand that he is, indeed, a goddamn moron.
Somehow, goddamned morons are tolerated throughout this game.
Somehow, goddamned morons can become presidents of highly technological cities.
Somehow, goddamned morons can score on the two mothers of the main characters of the game.
Somehow, goddamned morons can join the army.
Somehow, goddamned morons can think they have a chance in journalism.
...Somehow, goddamned morons can succeed.
Can someone tell me why? Goddamned morons can't succeed in THIS world. Well, like, aside from being president. We've had a lot of goddamned morons as president in the United States. But that's almost completely beside the point.
An'way, why can they succeed in THAT world, but have no chance in THIS one?
Laguna shot Adel into space. Whoop-de-shit, we shot someone into space, too. Laguna jumped off a cliff and survived. If he was smart, he wouldn't have gotten himself into the situation where he would have to jump anyway.
Okay, I've established that he's a goddamn moron. Now for the petulant question of WHY.
I think it's because most people don't go to school. There is an EXTREME lack of children and schools in the Final Fantasy VIII world, thus meaning people are stupid. Laguna's just moreso than usual, unfortunately. Yet he becomes greater than the lot of them. Why?
'Cause the people don't have any goddamn sense, that's why! No sense to determine that Laguna's a big fuckin' moron. *nods*
Or they're all high. I could go for that one, too, seeing as how I could probably tick off my fingers how many drugs Selphie's on. I might run out of hands, though.
But there's something, something that I *haven't* pinpointed yet, that makes Laguna god in the Final Fantasy VIII characters' eyes. Charm? ....Peh, what charm. Grace? The man stumbles around like a deranged stork while around a lady.
So what the hell *is* it?!
It's one of those things I'll never know...