The Diet Soda Consiracy
Warning: Contains uh, soda paranoia? O_o
Diet soda is icky!
It tastes all fake and stuff, even though they say it tastes like the real thing.
I think diet soda is either an alien conspiracy or it was created by old guys who had bottle rockets shoved up their noses when they were little and therefore have no sense of taste. They're evil.
Diet soda is evil. Diet soda has armpit hair. And diet soda doesn't shave!
Ever see a good guy drink diet Mountain Dew? NO!
At the end of FFVII, I swear I saw Sephy hold a can of diet, not to MENTION caffiene free (which is eviler than diet), Coke! There's something going on here, and I don't like it!
It's infiltrated the first line of defense: Sugar-and-caffiene-filled soda.
People are getting addicted to diet because they don't want to be fat! They're gonna make society as we know it collapse on top of itself!
Why?
Because diet soda is taking over the world!
It's got a mind of it's own! You know, like Bin Laden's beard.
It's gonna start slowly and start small, like all super-intelligent things. Then it's going to crawl all the way to the top, and it won't stop until it has achieved total world domination!
IT WON'T STOP UNTIL IT HAS TAKEN OVER OUR MINDS AND IT WILL FORCE US ALL TO WORK ON CATFISH FARMS!!! DEAR GOD, NOOOOOOOOOOO!!
So, like, don't drink diet soda or something O.o
Thank you.
*bows*