Calvin For President

Welcome to the Calvin/Hobbes 2000 Campaign HQ @ Planet Calvin and Hobbes 2000. We hope that you enjoy your stay, and are convinced to vote for the greatest candidates ever to run for President and VP.

The Story-In 1996, this lovable duo ran for President against Bill Clinton, Bob Dole, and Ross Perot. They finished last, running as Independents with no real campaign funds, and an extremly late start.

November, 1998-Calvin and Hobbes formed the G.R.O.S.S. Party

January, 1999-The G.R.O.S.S. Party is renamed the Global Tiger Party.

April, 1999-A poll shows that Calvin & Hobbes have 90% of the vote aginst Gore, Bush, and H Ross Perot.

March, 2000-Calvin and Hobbes give the following interview on ANN. (I'll admit that I got some of the ideas from an interview written in 1992 for Calvin and Hobbes,but I came up w/a few things) ;-)

This was an interview on ANN, the America News Network on 4/24/2000 with
Global Tiger Party front-runner Calvin and his Vice Presidential candidate Hobbes.

Interviewer: I�m here with Global Tiger Party front-runner Calvin and his Vice
Presidential candidate Hobbes. Recently they just won the Global Tiger Iowa caucus and
the New Hampshire primary over Susie Derkins. Next in line is a primary in
South Carolina. However, there are rumors that Bill Watterson will be running against
you in the primary, do you think that�s true?

Calvin: Bill Watterson is our good friend. He was the one who financed our run in 1996
and gave us $1 million to start our run in 2000. I do not think that such a thing could be
possible.

Hobbes: I agree completely.

Interviewer: Wait! I thought Hobbes was a stuffed tiger. (shakes his head) Hobbes, since
most if America thinks you are a stuffed tiger, and I do to. Why am I even asking him a
question? (shakes his head again) How can you be the Vice President?

Hobbes: If you�ll look at Al Gore �the creator of the Internet� and Dan Qualye who
couldn�t spell �potato� correctly, you�ll see that even if America thinks I�m a stuffed tiger,
I can do better then they can.

Interviewer: (shaken that Hobbes answered his question) Well, Calvin, you are on record
as saying that you will cut taxes by 54%, this provoked Ross Perot to say that he would
cut taxes by 60%. How do you think you can handle the loss of money that would happen
because of this tax cut?

Calvin: Simple, you take all the money we have and duplicate it.

Interviewer: Duplicate it?

Calvin: Yes.. (turns to Hobbes) Can you get the Duplicator?

Hobbes: (nods, gets up and pulls out a cardboard box on its side, it has DUPLICATOR
written on it and there is an arrow below with Good and Bad on the other side of the
arrow)

Interviewer: (smiling) Now that�s a great invention, but what does it do?

Calvin: It uses the processes of the photocopier and the transmogrifer, to process a real,
living duplicate!

Interviewer: Transmogrifier?

Calvin: Jeez, don�t you read the latest science journals?

Interviewer: No.

Calvin: Well, good. Neither do I. The transmogrifer changes things into other things.

Interviewer: What?

Calvin: (reaches in his pocket and pulls out a water gun) This is a transmogrifer gun.
(points it and the table and fires) Zap! (the table turns into a few lizards running around)

Interviewer: What the-

Calvin: (fires at the lizards) Zap! (the lizards turn back into the table) There, that should
do it.

Interviewer: (is relieved) Now tell me about the duplicator.

Calvin: With the duplicator, we can make gold from other gold, and with the
transmogrifer, we can transmogrify gold out of anything!

Interviewer: There goes the national debt!

Calvin: Exactly.

Interviewer: Recent polls show that 52% of fans prefer Calvin as their favorite, and 48%
think Hobbes is the best. However, this was a very corrupt poll. What do you say to
that?

Calvin: That�s good, the people like both of us about evenly.

Interviewer: That�s true. Polls taken last summer showed you had 91% of the vote in a
match between Bush, Gore, Perot, and Nobody for President.

Hobbes: I think the people who voted for Nobody should�ve voted for us.

Interviewer: That may be true. Hobbes, also there are rumors of a possible �Draft Hobbes
for President� campaign going, what do you think of that?

Hobbes: Several fans really do think that I should run for the Global Tiger Party
nomination. However, I�m content to be Vice President for two terms and then be
President.

Calvin: How do you know I won�t run for President for a third time?

Hobbes: The Constitution says you can only run twice.

Interviewer: Well, Calvin is only six years old, so he�ll be defying the Constitution anyway.
The Constitution says you have to be 35.

Calvin: We�ll I�ll change the Constitution.

Interviewer: Your new plans may enable you to have the force to have an amendment to
the Constitution, maybe even an amendment to take away term limits for the President.

Hobbes: I hope he can do that. We�ll need it.

Interviewer: I believe that you will.

Calvin: Do you have any more questions? We need to get back to our campaign
headquarters, and plan our next strategy.

Interviewer: All right, one more. What do you think about the Hobbesgate scandal that
came out last summer?

Hobbes: Al Gore gave me $150,000 for my run in the Senate in 1984. I accepted the
money, I needed money for my campaign against Isaiah P. Freeley. I did not know that
the money was stolen until I looked at a newspaper a week or so later. However, by then
I had spent the money, and I tried to give Freeley is $150,000 back from my campaign
money. He refused, and said he just wanted to know who stole the money, he also said
that he couldn�t be sure that the $150,000 was his. He ran an investigation and I tried to
finger Gore in 1992 when he was running for Vice President. Nothing came out of it.
Now, by defeating him, I can give him what he deserves by beating him this November,
and becoming the next Vice President.

Interviewer: Strong words. I think we have run out of time so I will just say that I think
that these two have the best shot on November 7, 2000, and I think you should vote for
them. See you next time!

June 30, 2000 The archives are opened, and a new "Calvin/Hobbes 4 Prez" Site opens.