“Bed of Lies”

By Lori G

This story is a direct sequel to “Prelude to a Kiss”.  Any comments or questions should be emailed to the author,  any problems with the page should be emailed to [email protected]

 

 

"Lori!" I heard Nelli scream as she jumped on me. I almost staggered and fell backwards. I hadn’t seen her in months. We had been writing letters to each other in the five months we had been apart. I felt so guilty for leaving her behind in Arizona. She was convinced that all her friends moved away. She thought she was cursed and I only proved her point.

She had gone through a major growth spurt; she was almost my height. She still had a tiny waist and big feet and big breasts. We were cousins, and I guess it was just part of the family. I had frozen at five foot eleven and one quarter inches. I was so happy. I had also lost even more weight since I had last seen her.

I saw Allana behind her, carrying two suitcases in one hand and a box underneath her other. The yellow taxi cab driver was helping unload all of their suitcases onto the sidewalk.

Then I saw Gracie, still tall and skinny, with her billowing blonde hair and long legs. She still looked like the model I remembered. She was carrying her suitcase, and a foil wrapped box in her other hand.

"You’re getting too skinny." Allana said smiling, setting her suitcases down to hug me.

"Whatever, Al." I said, tears forming behind my eyes. Al and I been best friends since we were four years old and eighteen months old. I was younger of course. There was something about her that looked beaten. Her normally shiny brown hair looked dull and flat and she had dark circles under her eyes. I figured it was just the trip over and the move. Al was moving in with my family again. She had decided that she liked living better, and liked living with us.

"Hey, hottie!" Gracie smiled, laughing as she handed me the box. I smiled and took it from her.

"Thank you!" I said, leaving the front door and walking towards the cab to help carry bags and boxes. Nelli, Al and Gracie were staying for a long Spring break, Gracie and Nelli were missing almost a week of school to be out here with me. I helped pay for their tickets out here, so their parents didn’t object. I had earned extra money by being the opening act for the guys’ concerts in the deep south and part of the eastern coast for ten concerts. I had also earned some extra cash baby sitting for the Hansons, but I spent most of that money taking Jess and Avery to the mall. I finally had my own car, I bought it with the money from the tour, and made the monthly payments with the interest from what I had invested.

I smiled as I walked back to the house, carrying two suitcases. I knew what was going to happen today, and I was ecstatic. I hadn’t seen Taylor in almost three months. They had flown out to LA to record their fourth album. I of course kept in contact with all three of them, but I missed their company. And they’re coming home today.

I had told Nelli that I had a serious boyfriend, but I didn’t tell her much about him. It was so hard when I would call her while I was touring with the guys. Zac was always yelling things in the background or singing ‘MMMBop’ loudly just to be spiteful.

I hadn’t told Nelli, Al or Gracie that I was dating Taylor. I hadn’t even told them I knew them. I wanted it to be a surprise. They were driving straight over from the airport. They would hang out here for a while, then we were all going to go back to their house, to record with their equipment in their garage.

We finally got everything up to my room. It was a huge bedroom, with room enough for my queen size bed, a desk, an entertainment unit, a dresser, a night stand, and still having a lot of room left over. I had my drums set up in the corner, with my amp next to it for my guitar. We were up in my room, discussing Al getting a job. I sat smugly on the bed, knowing she probably wouldn’t have to get one. I kept checking my watch nervously. They would be here any minute.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Nelli sounded annoyed with me. I smiled slyly.

"My boyfriend is coming over today. You’ll get to meet him." I giggled, excited to finally see Taylor. "And he’s bringing his…" I trailed off, almost saying brothers, "really cute friends." I covered up. Al looked at me, strangely, knowing that something was up.

"So tell me about the kids you teach." Al said. She had been a piano teacher in Arizona, and was interested in how I had been doing teaching regular subjects. I smiled slyly again and reached over to my night stand, where I kept a picture of Avery, Jess, Mac and Zoe. I usually had a picture of the three boys there, and one of me braiding Zac’s hair, but had put them in a drawer for today. I handed it to Gracie to look at first.

"I tutor the shorter girl in math, and the little boy I help out with math too. I’m helping the youngest learn to read." I said, not mentioning their names. I was scared to death Nelli and Gracie would recognize them anyway. Nelli and Al were hovering behind Gracie, looking at the snapshot.

"God, Oklahoma is full of nothing but toeheads." Nelli joked.

"What about the older one?" Al asked.

"I don’t really do anything with her. We go to the mall sometimes." I laughed.

Gracie paused, looking up at me, "Y’know, they almost look like they could be part of the Ha-" She started, my eyes widened, but just then I heard a car horn. I realized it had to be them. I jumped off my bed and squealed, running out of my room and down the hall. Giggling.

"Boyfriend! Boyfriend! Boyfriend!" I chanted excitedly as I galloped down the stairs.

"Cute friends! Cute friends! Cute friends!" Al mimicked me, jumping down the stairs with me to the living room. I ran into the living room, my athletic shorts bobbing up and down as I moved. I saw Taylor sticking his head in the living room door.

"Hello?" He asked curiously, sounding almost as anxious as I was. He caught sight of me, behind his dark sunglasses, and smiled his radiant smile. He opened the door the rest of the way and stepped into my living room. I almost knocked him over as I grabbed him, hugging him and looking up at his face.

He kissed me, almost like he was trying to catch up on the time we hadn’t spent together. I heard Nelli and Gracie finish climbing down the stairs, where their steps stopped suddenly. I was rubbing Taylor’s back and neck, burying my other hand in his hair, which was long again, but not quite as blonde as it used to be.

"No more of that, kids." Isaac scolded playfully, stepping into the living room as well. Taylor and I pulled away from each other, realizing there were other people in the room.

"She’s still jailbait, Taylor!" I heard Zac shout from outside. I had my arms around Taylor’s waist, and he had his around my shoulders. I turned to see Isaac, even more tan, and he didn’t look much older. Then I saw Zac. He was taller then Taylor now, there was no point in arguing anymore. He still had his hair long, only now it was longer, and his shoulders were broader, his voice deeper, his jaw more defined. He didn’t look like the young man I had met on a couch in a dark basement five months ago. He smiled at me, and it seemed like I was going to fall over. Zac was so handsome, so beautiful, and I felt like he was mine to be proud of. I realized the pride his parents must have in him.

I hugged Isaac, squeezing his shoulders and patting his back. We had grown close on tour, we were frequently insomniacs, and he would keep me company on long nights or vice versa.

"Hey mug!" I said happily.

"What about me?" Zac asked comedically, sounding forgotten. I let go of Ike and jumped on Zac; literally. He caught me, holding me on his hip like the small child I was compared to him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, resting my head against his as he leaned it towards me. I suddenly remembered my friends. I turned to look back at them, a permanent smile on my face.

They all stood there, staring. Nelli’s mouth was hanging open, just looking at me. Al started to smile, realizing who the kids in the picture I showed her were. Gracie started to laugh nervously.

"Guys, this is Al, Nelli and Gracie." I said, jumping down off Zac. I walked up behind Taylor and rested my cheek against the back of his shoulder, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Hi." Al smiled, looking at Zac. She had liked him when I finally converted her to their music. She thought he was the sensible, funny, articulate one. And she was right to a certain extent.

"Yo." Zac responded, a strange tone in his voice. He was trying to sound funny, but there was a tense nervousness in his voice. The four of us started walking towards my friends.

"I think she’s comatose." Gracie joked, looking at Nelli. She wasn’t, she had changed her expression, she was trying to process it now. She reached out and started slapping my arm.

"YOU – DIDN’T – TELL – ME!" She shouted. Zac started to laugh, and so did I, motioning my hands to keep hers away from me. We all laughed, and she started to as well. She looked over at Isaac, who was surveying all three of them. This was something Isaac did whenever he met something female and breathing. He automatically wondered if this girl could possibly be his soulmate.

"I gotta go give this to your mom." Taylor said, and I suddenly realized he had been holding a blank CD case in his hands.

"What’s that?" Gracie asked curiously.

"The new album." Tay teased as he walked towards the family room. I smiled at them, then ran up the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Zac shouted after me. I was at the top of the stairs before I could answer.

"I have to change!" I yelled back, running into my room and shutting the door.

We spent the rest of the day, and most of the next morning, in the Hanson garage, playing music together, laughing together, and becoming a large group of friends. We finally drove home around four in the morning, trying to sneak into my bedroom quietly during a giggle fit.

"Zac is SO HOT!" Gracie giggled as she lay on the end of my bed. The four of us could not all fit on the bed the normal way, so we had to change the direction we laid in so that we could all sleep. Unfortunately, all our feet were hanging off.

"Man, Ike is so much cuter in person." Nelli sighed. I laughed.

"I missed them so much." I said. I started to tell them I had gone on tour with them, but then decided not to, thinking it would be better to try and settle them down. We had originally planned to surprise Nelli, Al and Gracie, by recording a demo in their garage. But as it turned out, they were still to shocked to be meeting them, and still surprised that I was dating Taylor.

I listened to Gracie and Nelli banter some more about finally getting to meet them, and I couldn’t help but wonder why Al was so quiet.

I woke up around eleven, Nelli and Gracie were still sleeping at the end of the bed, but Al was gone. I woke up, freezing. I looked over to my window, and saw the gray sky outside, and the rain dripping down my window. I could smell pancakes in the kitchen, realizing Al was probably down there, talking to my parents.

I got up and pulled on my Disneyland sweatshirt, over one of Taylor’s undershirts and my pajama pants. My feet were so cold. I slipped on my favorite pair of shoes; a pair that Al had bought me, they looked like sneakers, but had no back to them, making them like sandals. I walked quietly into my bathroom, hearing soft crying sounds coming from within.

I pushed the door open cautiously, scared of who was inside. Al was sitting in a bath, steam flying up from it, and the water red with blood. She was sniffling, looking at me with puffy pink eyes. I stared in horror at her, sitting in the bloody bath tub.

"What’s wrong?" I asked, shocked and worried, as I heard rumbling thunder.

"It’s a long story." She sniffled. I sat down on the toilet, my knees were shaking as I stared at her.

"What?" I asked incoherently.

"I… I moved in with Mike after you moved." She started to tell me.

"Ya." I muttered.

"And he wanted me to marry him," she sobbed, tears shooting out of her eyes again, "And I didn’t want to. But then I got pregnant…" She started sobbing even more. I stared down at the floor, not knowing what to think, knowing she had lost the baby. I looked at my feet, in my half sneakers, and then at my hands, as I twisted them. How could she do this? I thought. Was I supposed to be sad for her? I had grown up with her, and I knew she had sex with Mike a few times, but she told me they used protection, and she said they were going to wait a year so they could get married in the Mormon temple. I started to cry as an uncontrollable rage came over me. I was angry at her.

I had told her so many times that she and Mike weren’t right for each other. I liked Mike a lot, but I realized that they shouldn’t be a couple. I had warned them both, so many times. And it wasn’t just me, everybody else saw it too. And they didn’t listen. I hate being proved right.

I started to cry, and stood up, walking quickly out of the room. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I had to get out. I started jogging. I flung my bedroom door open and raced down the stairs, through the living room and out the front door. I didn’t even bother to make sure it was shut.

I just ran, the rain was cold and stung my face like sharp needles. I ran, tears streaming down my cheeks as I pushed myself as hard as I could. I crossed a street, and ran off the sidewalk, down the hill of the small park on the corner. I kept running, straight through the soccer field, and on towards the other side.

The rain was cold and harsh, and the wind blew strong. It had been a strange March as far as the weather was concerned. It had warmed up the first week, and then started to freeze again a few days ago. My hair was completely wet now, and it swung behind me wildly, flying up and whipping me in the face.

I left the park, running down the street as I got into the neighbor hood with the larger lots and the larger houses. I had never run like this before in my life. I turned the corner, seeing the large brown house down the street even farther. The wind was blowing hard, and it was getting harder to breathe in the strong, cold winds. I felt like my face was going to freeze, and my hands and fingers were numb, but my feet and legs were burning like I had never felt before.

I was so angry, so completely angry and hurt. Al had lied to me. She said she was going to see if it would work out. She said she was going to leave him for a few months, and see what happened. See if it made their relationship stronger, or if it killed it. She lied. Al moved in with him right after we left. She had sex, unprotected sex, after she promised me she wouldn’t. She promised herself she wouldn’t. She had promised herself and her parents that she was going to stay the good kid, but she hadn’t.

I ran up the slick, wet grass on the front lawn of the Hanson house. I almost lost my footing, but managed to push myself closer to their front door. I stopped, and started to pound on the front door, banging with mad fists.

"What the -" Zac started to yell angrily as he opened the door. I fell on him, out of breath and in pain. I just held on to him, trying to keep myself up on my shaking, burning legs.

"What’s the matter?" He asked, concerned, as he held me up. I couldn’t answer, only sob as I tried to catch my breath.

"Did you run here?" He asked again. I nodded, letting another huge sob into his chest. My throat was swelling up, and I felt like I couldn’t breath.

"You’re soaking, stay here." He said, letting go of me and leaving the room. I fell to a heap on the floor, crying like a baby. He returned, carrying a thick blanket and two towels. He knelt down by me on the floor. He grabbed the bottom of my sweatshirt and started to lift it up. He paused, nervously, and looked at me.

"You’ll get sick if you don’t get dry." Zac informed me, looking at me with his big brown eyes. I nodded, and let him lift my sweatshirt up over my head.

"Where’s Taylor?" I finally managed to get out, as I hugged my knees, realizing I was wearing a soaking wet white shirt and nothing underneath. Zac looked like he was shocked, and guilty.

"He and Ike went shopping." He said, wrapping the first towel around my hair. "And mom and dad took the kids to a movie." He said, taking my shoes off. They were heavy and wet, sloshing and squishing as he threw them next to my sweatshirt. He grabbed the waist band of my thin pajama pants and pulled them off me quickly, in one movement, throwing them aside and grabbing the second towel. He dried off my legs and wrapped the towel around my feet. Zac took the towel that was on my hair and wrapped it around my shoulders, then threw the thick gray blanket around me. He grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me to his chest, holding me with one arm and rubbing the side of my head with the other.

"She was pregnant." I managed to sputter out through my uncontrollable sobs.

"Who?" He asked soothingly, trying not to sound surprised. I sobbed again, taking a deep hysterical breath.

"Al… she lied to me." I cried. "I just want to forget this. I hate her. I hate this." Zac stopped the soothing rocking movements. He sounded thoughtful, his breathing slowed, and it seemed like he held it for a moment. "I’d do anything to forget this." I sobbed. He nodded and let go of me, taking my cold cheeks in both his hands, looking at me seriously.

"I would never do this. Understand? I’m doing this only because I want you to feel better and be ready to talk, okay?" He said clearly, looking me straight in the eye. I nodded, almost hyperventilating from crying and running. He nodded back, and stood up, disappearing into the kitchen.

Zac returned moments later, carrying several glass bottles. He showed them to me, one was a half full bottle of Jack Daniels, and the others were strange drinks I didn’t recognize, and couldn’t pronounce the name of. I understood what he was doing now. I took the first bottle from his hands.

"Are you sure?" He asked, giving me a chance to back out, as I opened the first bottle. I stopped and looked up at him desperately, I was still crying, warm tears still running down my cheeks. I wanted it to stop.

I know it was wrong, and I know it was desperate and immature. I wanted to forget about it, leave it behind me. I knew his parents could get in trouble for having alcohol available to me, and I knew I had violent reactions to alcohol on my medication. I didn’t care; I only wanted it to stop hurting. I wanted to forget.

I finished four of the strange drinks Zac had brought me. They were a vodka mixture, very strong. I was working on the bottle of Jack Daniels now, having drained half of what was in the bottle.

I sat with my knees to my chest, with my head leaned against Zac’s chest. He sat on the floor, holding me as I drank. My head was starting to get very dizzy, and the strangest thoughts were running through my head. I had stopped crying long ago, and now my vision was blurred. I was holding the bottle loosely in my hands. I was listening to Zac's heart beat. It was slow and steady and mesmerizing. I remembered laying on the floor of the tour bus with Taylor, with my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat.

"Meeting you guys was the best thing that ever happened to me." I blurted out suddenly. Zac reached over and gently took the bottle from my hand and set it down on the floor.

"It was one of ours too." He answered gently as I leaned on him. I pulled away and looked at him. I felt like I was floating in a strange pool, and it felt wonderful. I didn’t really feel anything, not then. Only nothingness, and it felt good.

"Thank you." I mumbled. Not only did I mean for the alcohol he had given me, but for being my friend, and being the big brother I had never had. I was looking him in the eyes, those big brown puppy eyes. He was so kind once you got to know him. And I had collapsed at his feet, soaking and sobbing, and he took care of me. He was the best friend I had ever had.

I don’t really remember much of that time. I realize I probably drank for half an hour, maybe longer. And I realized I talked some of the time. I don’t remember what I said; I don’t remember what Zac answered. It was all a blur, and it was all gone.

But I do remember the look on his face. The look in his eyes. He looked sad, like he knew he was about to do something that he shouldn’t do, and he looked guilty. I suddenly felt his big warm hands on my cheeks, and his lips on mine.

He kissed at first like Taylor did, warm, slow and loving, and for a moment I thought he was Taylor, that was why I kissed him back. But then he started to kiss me differently. He used his bottom lip more then Taylor did, and he was noisier when he kissed, not quite so delicate. Zac was kissing me the way I kissed Taylor yesterday, when I saw him for the first time in months; Zac was kissing me like this. Zac was kissing me passionately.

I was fumbling with my drunken hands, trying to find his shoulders and push him away. I didn’t want him to kiss me. I thought he was a marvelous kisser, and I did love Zac, but not like that.

I started to get sad again, knowing I didn’t want to kiss Zac. I heard the front door open behind me, and I heard Isaac and Taylor laughing, and the sound of the rain slapping the ground outside. Zac pulled away from me, his eyes wide as he stared up at his brothers. I turned my head to look at them.

Isaac was standing behind Taylor, looking back and forth between Zac and I with wide eyes. Taylor stood, staring, motionless. I didn’t want to kiss Zac, I never had, and I felt like I was sobering up so quickly. Everything was crisp and clear again, and everything hurt again, now only more. Taylor looked shocked, like he was about to cry. His jaw was clenched tightly, and his faced moved in small twitches, like he was starting to cry.

I covered my mouth, turning around quickly and throwing up all over the pile of my wet clothing.

I blacked out shortly after that, and woke up on Taylor’s bed. Taylor was standing at the window, staring out with a blank expression on his face. I rolled over, my head throbbing. I was starting to feel stupid, so stupid for drinking so much. I didn’t blame Zac for this; he was only trying to help me. I sat up, holding my forehead, and Zac looked up at me from Isaac’s bed. He was bent over his knees, leaning on his elbows. He looked so sad, the most upset I had ever seen him.

I looked quickly over to Taylor, who was still staring out the window. He had his arms crossed over his chest defiantly, and he looked so hurt. He looked like he was in pain. I had never seen his jaw clinched that tight before. I didn’t know what to say, how was I supposed to explain that I willingly got drunk, and kissed his little brother, thinking it was him? I felt nervous and guilty, and so upset that I had hurt Taylor.

He looked over at me, his blue eyes piercing through me. They were glazed over, filled with tears, and just the sight of him like that brought me to the point of crying.

"What happened?" He asked, his voice cracking from the verge of tears.

"Al was pregnant," I started to cry again, "And I didn’t know what to do. She lied to me, and I didn’t know what to do. I ran over here, I wanted to see you, and Zac was here, and I got drunk, and then -" I cut off, the tears dropping down my face, and I had to take a breath.

"And then you kissed him?!" Taylor charged in a sore, angry voice, a tear shooting down his cheek.

"No, I kissed her." Zac admitted, defending me. He was still sitting with his elbows on his knees, leaning over. Taylor turned his whole body away from the window, his face contorted in anger.

"Why!" Taylor shouted. I was crying now, the tears were just falling and I couldn’t stop them. Zac stood up and threw his arm in my direction.

"Because I love her!" He yelled back. I stared at him, not knowing what to think.

"What?" Taylor and I both asked, shell-shocked. I could see tears forming in Zac’s eyes as well.

"I’ve loved her since I saw her! Do you think it was easy for me to sit there and watch you two, knowing you were meant for each other?" He was crying now, and he had deflated from the tall, strong man that had taken care of me to the little boy I remembered seeing on TV.

"I don’t know what came over me… She was drunk, and I took advantage of that, and I’m sorry I did! But I’m NOT sorry I kissed her!" He shouted again. I swung my legs off the side of the bed and tried to stand on my wobbly legs, hoping to get to Zac before Taylor did.

I watched Taylor’s eyes, how angry and hurt he looked, and Zac’s eyes, how stubborn he looked, but at the same time, how apologetic. He didn’t move, he just stood there with tears on his face, clenching his jaw. He knew Taylor was going to hit him, and he did.

Taylor swung madly, hitting him on the jaw, close to his mouth. Zac fell back to the floor, and Taylor stood over him, with his fist clenched, looking like he was going to hit him again. I finally managed to stumble over to Taylor, grabbing his right hand and holding it with both of mine.

"Stop it! Just stop!" I cried, looking into Taylor’s eyes. "I’m not worth this!" I said again, holding onto Taylor for support. "I’m just a girl, you guys are brothers!" I shouted again, turning and looking at Zac, he was sitting on the floor, wiping his mouth, and a stream of blood traced his arm where his mouth had been.

Taylor looked down at the ground, realizing what he had done, and I saw a few tears fall to the carpet. I didn’t want them to fight anymore. This had to stop. Taylor flung my hands off him, sending me off balance. He stormed out of the bedroom, and slammed the door. Zac was climbing back up to his feet. I wished I could have helped him up, but I would have fallen over. I wanted to take him into the bathroom and take care of him, like he had taken care of me, but I couldn’t.

I looked at him, and his sad brown eyes, and nodded. We didn’t have to say anything, and I walked past him to the door. I saw Taylor sitting at the top of the stairs that led down to the garage. He was sitting on the top step, with his elbows on his knees, and one hand up to his eyes, pinching them. He was crying, softly, and I could tell he wasn’t used to it. It broke my heart, seeing him sitting there, crying. I walked up behind him, and started to stagger down the stairs to sit in front of him. I sat down and looked up at him. He had stopped trying to hide it, and was trying to stop crying. He had elongated his neck and was looking up at the ceiling with his red tear stained face.

I grabbed his hand and kissed it, holding on to it while he wiped his face with the other hand. "I’m sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He answered quickly.

"I kissed him back, I thought he was you." I admitted meekly. He looked down at me and smiled.

"That drunk, huh?" He joked, holding my hands now as I held his. I laughed a little bit, nodding sheepishly.

"I shouldn’t have done that, I should have known better." I apologized. "It was stupid and childish and desperate of me to drink like that." I said, looking up into his eyes. I had always found it so hard to apologize to people, but with Taylor, I couldn’t keep it from coming out. I was so sorry for what I had done, and I want him to know that.

"It’s all right. I know what it’s like to do something stupid." He said. I climbed up a step, kneeling in front of him. He wrapped his arms around my waist, probably recognizing that if he didn’t hold me up, I would fall down the stairs. I put my forehead against his and put my hands to his cheeks.

"Am I forgiven?" I asked quietly.

"Yes." He said, smiling. "I love you."

"I love you too." I said, it wasn’t the first time we had said this, but it felt new again. "And I don’t ever want to lose you." I said, wrapping my arms around behind him, holding my own hands.

"I don’t either. I want this to be it, I want this to be the last one." He said. I felt calm again, forgetting my headache for the moment, forgetting everything that had gone wrong today. I kissed him on he lips quickly, pulling away only to have him follow me anyway. I kissed him, like I had yesterday. I was so glad to still have him, to still have him love me. It was like we were kissing for the first time all over again.

"I see London, I see France…" I heard Isaac chant from the garage below. Taylor and I stopped kissing each other, smiling.

"Shut up, Ike!" We shouted in unison. He snickered to himself and returned to the main part of the garage.

"You ARE running around my house in your underwear." Taylor reminded me quietly. I laughed.

"Ya, I know. It’s not a habit I should get into yet." I joked. I think I sort of shocked Taylor slightly.

"And your shirt is still a little bit wet." He admitted, looking down.

I borrowed a pair of Taylor’s pants, they fit me like hip huggers, and he drove me home. We snuck out through the garage; we heard his mother in the kitchen with Zac, scolding him loudly for offering any alcohol to me.

I got home, and found the carport half empty, the mini van was gone. I went inside, and saw Nelli and Gracie sitting in the living room, watching TV as if they were trying to do something to keep themselves busy.

"Was that Taylor?" Nelli asked as we listened to the car drive away. I nodded, and started towards my bedroom.

"Mom took Al to the hospital." Gracie informed me solemnly. She was only another one of my friends that called my mother ‘mom’. I went up the stairs, to my bedroom and walked over to the window. I could see Taylor turning the corner to drive around the park.

"What happened?" Nelli asked, standing in the doorway behind me. I turned, and looked at her briefly before I sat down on my bed. I reached over to my head board and pulled a small bottle of aspirin from a cubby.

"I saw Al in the tub this morning, and I lost it." I said, popping two pills into my mouth and swallowing them.

"Where did you go?" Nelli asked, sitting on the foot of my bed, and I noticed Gracie standing in the doorway. I sighed, and listened to the rain outside for a moment, thinking of ways to explain what had happened.

"I ran over to their house, and Zac was the only one home." I started, dreading to finish the story, but knowing that I would have to tell them.

I slept for the rest of the afternoon, trying to get rid of my hangover. I woke up at seven, when I heard Diana’s voice downstairs. I listened as my mother talked to her, and I heard my father’s voice, as well as Walker’s. Diana didn’t sound angry, to my surprise, so I sat up. I rubbed my head, I still had a headache. I climbed out of bed, putting on a bra and a clean shirt, and making my way down the stairs to the living room.

I looked up at the four adults sitting in the living room, and I felt young and small, and I walked towards them with my tail between my legs.

"You look like shit." Diana commented. She wasn’t her usual light hearted self, she sounded a little more scorn and somewhat disappointed.

"I feel it." I tried to joke, even though I didn’t feel like a joke was appropriate at that time. My dad chuckled slightly. "Where are Nelli and Gracie?" I asked, trying to change the subject quickly.

"Zac and Isaac took them out to dinner." Walker volunteered. I nodded and turned to go into the kitchen, and saw Taylor standing over the coffee machine. I smiled, not expecting to see him there.

"Hey." He sighed, smiling back at me. I walked up next to him, and sat on the counter. "We brought back your clothes." He said.

"Thanks." I sighed. "Did your mom have to do it?" I asked. I felt so bad about the whole thing now, I had gotten the carpet wet, then threw up.

"No, I cleaned it up before they got home." Taylor said, going over to the cupboard that held the mugs and glasses. He knew his way around my house, the same that I knew my way around his.

"Thank you." I smiled, gratefully, so glad his mother didn’t have to clean up after my irresponsibility. "Does your living room smell bad now?" I asked.

"Nope, you missed the carpet." Taylor laughed, pouring us coffee. He handed me a cup, knowing I would need it black.

"Thank you." I said again, taking my first drink of it. "I’m sorry." I apologized again. "I was so stupid." I said, drinking more.

"It really is okay." Taylor said again. "And it’s not like you’re gonna do it again, you know better. You’re one of those, ‘Once is enough’ people." He said. I smiled, knowing he was right.

"Have you talked to Zac yet?" I asked after a pause, knowing already that he hadn’t. His expression changed.

"No." He answered simply and shortly, sounding like he didn’t want to talk about it any more. He brought his coffee up to his lips so that he wouldn’t have to say anything else.

"You really should." I said. "I won’t say any more than that, but you two need to talk." I said, finishing my coffee.

"Not yet." He said simply again, and I knew he was right. He wasn’t ready to talk to Zac rationally again, and he would want to approach him with a level head.

"Ok." I sighed.

"Have you talked to Al yet?" He asked back. I looked up at him surprised, I hadn’t expected him to ask me that, and I remembered that she had caused the entire situation.

"No." I answered shortly, starting to pout. I didn’t want to, but I knew I was.

"You really should." He said, and he was right.

"Not yet." I replied. I wasn’t ready to talk yet, I was still too mad at her. This was the first time we had fought since I was six years old. I chuckled. "The last time we fought, we were little kids, I told her she couldn’t come on my side of the street."

Taylor laughed. "What are you gonna tell her now, your side of the country?" I laughed and looked down, I wanted to laugh about it, but I felt the tears swelling up in my eyes again.

"I don’t know what to say to her. ‘I’m sorry I got upset that you made a mistake?’" I said, my voice breaking as I started to cry. "Hey Al, I’m sorry that I stuck my nose in your business and over reacted to it." Taylor grabbed my by the shoulders, hugging me and putting my head on his shoulder.

"She wants to talk to you. She said that she should have listened to you, and that you had every right to be angry with her." He explained, rubbing the back of my head.

"You talked to her?" I asked, moving my chin up to rest on his shoulder.

"While you were sleeping." Taylor said soothingly. "She feels really alone right now." He informed me, and I started crying again.

"I should have talked to her this morning, but I ran away." I cried again, "I’m so stupid." I buried my face back in his shoulder, crying hard again.

"Lori," Taylor sighed, "You reacted like every body else would have. It was a hard situation to be in. You did make some bad choices, but it wasn’t all your fault. There were a lot of other factors." He explained to me calmly. I knew he was right. He lifted my head up to look at him. "Will you go talk to her? Al really needs you right now. She’s in your parents’ bedroom." I looked him in the eyes and nodded. He smiled back at me.

"Good." He kissed me on the forehead, "If you’re not done before I go, I’ll see you tomorrow." His kissed me quickly on the lips, a small peck and looked at me again. "I’ll pick you up for lunch, okay?"

"Okay." I smiled, kissing him again quickly and sliding off the counter. I turned right, walking towards the master bedroom and avoiding the living room.

Al and I talked, until ten thirty. We made up, and talked like old friends again before she went to bed. I went into the living room, hoping that Taylor was still there. I wanted to see him again, and thank him again. My parents were in the kitchen, and the house was empty.

"Where is everybody?" I asked, walking towards the kitchen.

"Andrew is staying the night with Mac, and Danny is in his room." My mother explained, putting a ziploc bag in the refrigerator.

"Are Nelli and Gracie back yet?" I asked.

"Nope, they’re still out with the boys." My father said, drinking the last of the coffee Taylor had made. I nodded, turning to go into the living room.

"Diana told us what happened." My mother said. I turned back to her, biting my lip. "She found out what happened with You and Zac, and wanted to know if there was anything else going on."

"And?" I asked nervously, wondering if they knew that Zac had kissed me.

"We told her about Al and she seemed to understand more." My mom said. I nodded and turned to go into the living room.

I watched TV until eleven thirty. Everyone else in the house had gone to bed, but I was sitting up, half waiting for Gracie and Nelli, half sitting wide awake from all the coffee. I turned the TV off, finally getting tired, when I heard Isaac’s car pull into the drive way and turn off. I stood up and stretched. Gracie came through the door a minute later, and I saw Zac and Nelli standing on the porch. Gracie came in smiling, and smiled at me, before turning up the stairs towards my room. I saw Isaac’s hand reach over and shut the front door, just as I saw through the window that Zac was walking back towards the car.

The door swung open a minute later, and I saw Nelli float through. Ike walked back to his car, smiling the biggest I had ever seen him smile. I turned to Nelli and raised an eyebrow.

"Hi…" she smiled, she looked like she was stoned. I laughed at her and walked towards her, grabbing her arm and walking her to the stairs. "Isaac just kissed me." She told me melodically. I laughed as we both walked up towards my bedroom.

I woke up late the next morning. Al, Nelli and Gracie were down stairs in the kitchen eating breakfast. I looked at my clock, it was already ten thirty. I got out of bed and put on a clean outfit, knowing Taylor would be calling soon. I didn’t want to stay in the house today, I wanted to talk to Taylor some more, to make sure we were okay.

I picked up the phone, and absent mindedly dialed the house number instead of his cell phone.

"Hello?" I heard Zac answer. I swallowed hard, knowing he would know it was me even if I hung up. I hated that they had a caller ID box, and that I had my own line.

"Hi." I answered after a while. We were both silent for a moment. "Can you come over?" I asked, realizing Zac was getting the worst of everything from the day before, when I had been the culprit of yesterday’s events.

"Yes." He answered quickly. "I’ll be over in a minute." He hung up. I put the phone down slowly, hoping he didn’t get the wrong idea. I wanted to talk to him, to make sure he knew that I didn’t love him that way, to let him know that I wanted to be with Taylor, and not him.

And then I scared myself. I realized, that a small part of me wanted to be with him; that I was curious. I sat on my bed, with my knees tucked up to my chest. I was staring off thoughtfully into space. I knew I didn’t want to be in a relationship with Zac, that I was happy with Taylor. Taylor made me feel like nobody else ever had. Maybe it was just that Zac and I were best friends, and I had never been that close to a boy before. I think I was replacing Nelli with Zac, because they were so much alike. I was terrified that I loved Zac the way he wanted me too, even though I knew in my heart that I didn’t. There was something in the back of my head that nagged at my insecurity.

I heard a knock at the door, and Zac stepped in. He turned around and locked the door. He looked at me and sighed as he walked towards my bed. I looked at his lip, which was swollen off to one side, with a dark red split. He looked like he had a bruise near his jaw were Taylor had hit him.

"We need to talk." He said, as he sat on the foot of my bed.

"I know." I said, keeping my chin on my knees.

"I’ve been thinking a lot, especially about what I said yesterday." I bit my lip, scared to hear what he was going to say next. "And it was true, I do love you. But not the same way that Tay does. I realized, while I sat in my room thinking for most of today and yesterday, that what I feel towards you isn’t romantic love, it’s just friendship." I felt a rush of relief run through me and I smiled at him, not really realizing I was smiling. "I do love you, like a sister and a best friend. You’re the closest I’ve ever been to someone outside the family. And you’re the first girl, I think that’s why I was confused."

He was playing with the sheets on my bed, twirling them around in his fingers. I smiled at him, leaning over and hugging him around the shoulders.

"You have no idea how relieved I am." I said while I hugged him. He chuckled, and hugged me back, he was a little startled at first. "The last thing I wanted to do was come in between you and your brothers." I sat back on my bed again. Zac was smiling, his long hair tucked behind his ears.

"I was scared of that too. I mean, here you and Tay are obviously gaa-gaa for each other, and I’m sitting back, watching you two, thinking of ways to win you over and steal you away." He joked. "It was definitely strange."

"I feel the same way about you; you’re like my big brother, and you are definitely one of the bestest friends I’ve ever had."

"Bestest?" He raised an eyebrow playfully.

"Bestest." I continued, "And it had me confused and worried too. I do love Taylor, with all my heart, and I want to grow old with him." I surprised myself again, knowing I really did feel that way. Zac smiled at me.

"I knew you did, but it looks like you just figured it out." He joked, continuing to smile as my nodded, shocked.

"It’s kinda scary, but at the same time… very comforting." I said. "I mean, Taylor and I are just starting on something very big." I sighed.

"I hope he realizes what he’s got in you." Zac said, looking at me almost in a longing sort of way, "Because the minute he screws things up, I’ll be there to take you."

I looked at him mildly surprised, but realized what a compliment that was and smiled at him, I could feel my cheeks blushing.

"That, and you’re such a good kisser…" Zac joked, pulling his head up and faking a british accent. I laughed.

"From what I remember, you’re not that bad yourself." I raised an eyebrow. We joked for a few more minutes, and then I drove him home, and picked Taylor up for lunch.

"Buddies?" Zac asked as he climbed out of my car. I smiled.

"Buddies." I said, punched him in the arm. "See you later."

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