Rachel Young

wednesday, august 29, 2001

I woke up startled at 3:30am, with my heart racing and beads of sweat on my forehead. It�s the second dream I�ve had this week involving the same individual with the same ending. I�m behind a door and desperately trying to lock this person out. But they place all of their weight on the door, and I�m too weak to keep the door shut.

I�m sure this dream is symbolic.

When people tell me they never remember their dreams and sleep restfully into the night, I�m almost envious. I honestly can�t remember the last time I had a good night�s rest, and I can�t recall exactly when these vivid dreams started.

But it�s something that runs in the family. My grandmother and mother are also �dreamers�. I told my grandmother once I wish I never had another dream again, and she said to me, �Don�t say that. It�s one of God�s ways of speaking to you.�

I wish He could write me a letter or maybe even email me instead.

Over the years, I�ve buried a lot of junk deep down inside where I can�t see it. I�ve always figured that was the easiest way to handle my problems, though I know it�s not the most effective. But these dreams always remind me of what I�ve hidden away, and maybe it�s God�s way of telling me, �Rachel, you�ve got some stuff to deal with�.

It`s so tough being a stubborn girl who never gets her way yet is unwilling to change.

rewind � � forward

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws