Currently listening to:
�Home Again� by Kevin So
Two months of traveling a lonely December
It's no fun without your friends not much to do
But walk around a museum or visit the gallery
Smoke cigars from strangers' hands and trade them yer blues
It's good to be home
It's good to be home again
Back with your good old friends
Back where you belong
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I know everything will turn out okay. It always does. There�s no point in worrying. It will only increase the wrinkles and decrease the hair count. And I really don�t need either right now.
I�ve been itching to move for some time now. I think ever since graduation from college. Actually, I think it went far back as my sophomore year in college. I start to get restless after two years in one place. Good or bad, I have yet to determine.
But the thought of leaving a place you�ve become comfortable with is always a bit scary. I�d be lying if I said the notion of moving to an even bigger city than D.C. doesn�t make me the least bit nervous. In fact, when I sit down and really think about, I just about pee in my pants (this one is for Francis because he knows how I get when I�m nervous).
Familiarity itself is a foreign concept to me. But that�s exactly what D.C. has become. Very familiar (even if Aionna, Michelle, and I drove around in circles a bit trying to find George Washington University just last week). The places, the people, the humidity. Even the smell of the air. If there was a blind smell test in air scents of the various big U.S. cities, I bet I could point out D.C.'s in a heartbeat (I wish they gave $1 million prizes for stupid things like that). Having moved almost every two years all my life, it�s strange for me to know a place this well. And I'm sure in a few months, I'll be listening to Kevin So's "Home Again" and burst into tears thinking about how lonely the big city is and wishing I was with my friends and family back in D.C.
It's funny. I can already foresee what my life will be like when I make my move. I'll go to work and regardless of what I'm doing, I'll eat, live, and breathe my job (it's just my nature and I've got a month down time to make up for). So maybe I won't even have to worry about renting out a place because I'll probably spend my nights in the office, except I do need a place to record. And that will take up the majority of my free time. When I'm not recording, I'll be roaming the city checking out local gigs. Or I'll be at the local bookstore or the city library searching for a good read. I'll ride the subway to and fro everywhere, and carry my portable discman with the awesome tune of the moment playing over and over again and reading the local paper at the same time. I'll become a total recluse. I can see it already. No one will know my name and I'll just become an anonymous inhabitant like my neighbor sitting next to me on the subway. I'll especially keep to myself during the winters as I hibernate in my cozy studio apartment (on my budget, it'll probably be more run down rather than cozy, but definitely more than I can ask for). I'll stay bundled up in long johns and underneath three layers of blankets with the heater blasted as high as possible, until it feels like a sauna. I despise the cold. I'll gain a good 10 to 15 pounds because I won't go running nearly as much, and I'll live off of Krispy Kreme donuts (which I ate half dozen of in the past two days) and coffee. It will be a quiet life.
Then again, the total opposite might occur and I may never be found at home. I may party away like it was freshman year in college all over again. I may meet a different tall, dark stranger every week. I'll go to various posh parties held by the most hip characters in town. I'll schmooze, network, wine and dine with the big dogs down to the homeless out on the street. I'll live it up like there was no tomorrow.
But knowing me, I think the former of the two scenarios is more likely.
Well, we'll just have to wait and see. Though the prospect of leaving does frighten me, I�m also very excited. It�s time to move on. As the clich� goes, it�s time to explore my horizons. There�s a bigger world out there, and my curiosity is dying to be fed.
I just hope it all works out. Thanks for your prayers.
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