Ms Rachel Renee McCullough

 

An Open Letter to the ones that betrayed me,

 

            I’ll bet you didn’t think that I would have the strength or pride to tell the story. I’ll bet you never believed that you would hear from me again. And I’ll bet that you’ve denied any wrong doing and sheltered yourself in how righteous and noble you are. But that’s alright, because I’ll let everyone know all these things. That’s right, I know you. I know what you did. Do your family, friends, and co-workers know that you were seeking out my company? Or someone like me? Was that how you just happened to find me? I was hidden away, and unless you were looking, it’s quite improbable that you would be there. Was it that I did not surrender to your advances? Did I ignore crude comment or suggestion that you thought that you could win my attention with? Now you can justify all that you want, to these others, but I know why you were looking. And you know too. And now everyone knows!

 

            And what of those who were called friend? Were you there when I was being maligned? Did you stop to think of the consequences? Was our friendship that shallow? And of those who claimed the title objective leader? I was honest with you. I told you all that you asked. And you still sought to wound me. Were you worried that you could be attacked somehow? Where was your loyalty? Did your brave leadership falter? Did you offer the same resolution to those who perpetrated this revelation?

 

            I don’t expect you to understand everything about this. These issues are complex and after all, it’s taken me this long to understand it myself. But I would have thought that you would have at least asked before you chose to attack me. I am different from you, as you are different from others. What about you would others prejudice against? What differences do you have that others would find fault with? Did you ask that question of yourself? No, then please ask it now.

 

            I guess I should thank you. Yes, that’s right. For you’ve opened up my life and allowed me to live the way I was supposed to. I don’t have to hide or deny, because you’ve freed me from that. I can be proud of who I am, and not just the public part, but all of me. I’ve spent years coming to the realization that we are who we are and that we should love ourselves as well as others. In those same years, I took great care to keep this part of me hidden for fear of your prejudice. And during that time, I did all that was asked of me to the best of my ability and I did it better than most.

 

            A Great Teacher once said, “You without sin, cast the first stone.” Well if you were truly righteous and noble, why am I bruised? It’s said that ill will is revisited thrice upon those who perpetrate it. I will bear you no ill will. It’s also taught that we all must answer, ultimately. What will you answer for?

 

            I forgive you. But my forgiveness is not that which you need. You must look into yourself to find that and to a Higher Authority. Live your life with pride and humility. The later is sometimes more difficult than the first. Bring no harm and find beauty in all things. Just a few axioms from someone different.

 

Rachel Renee McCullough