Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truely endless- Mother Teresa
You cannot hold back a good laugh anymore than you can a tide. Both are forces of nature- William Rotsler
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar- Helen Keller
To Love and be Loved is to feel the sun on both sides- David Viscott
You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it- Maragaret Thatcher
It's a blessing and a curse that love is blind- Garth Brooks
It is curious but if one smiles darkness fades- Beatrice Wood
My favorite Jokes
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises.
"How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers.
"It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied.
"I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?"
"No sir, our mother."
"Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!"
"I know, sir," replied the recruit, "But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.
"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.
The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.
Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head."
Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.
The son comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"
The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"
The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"
Yo mama's so fat, When she hauls ass she has to make two trips.
Yo mama's so fat, When she diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live.
Yo mama's so fat, she got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
Yo mama's so fat, when I yell "KOOL-AID", she comes crashing through the wall.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
