Endings
By: Lea

Disclaimer: I don�t own Zell�Squaresoft does�aren�t they lucky!

Part 2:

This is going to be great! Selphie Tilmitt thought as she looked from her marked script to the people on stage. A girl in tight jeans and a white tank top moved across the wooden stage to call out to a boy in the wings. �Don�t do this.  Let me help you.  I love you!� Silence filled the auditorium. �Umm�Let me help you.  I love you!� Silence followed by uncomfortable shifting. Huh? Selphie looked down at her script, trying to find her lost place. On stage, the girl stood up and looked toward the wings. �I LOVE YOU!!!� She yelled. Confused, Selphie looked at the stage and then it clicked.
�ZELL!!!!� she shouted toward the darkened wings. Ugh!!! Letting out a groan of displeasure Selphie stormed to the stairs leading up to the stage. �Zell!!!  Where are you? That�s your cue�remember? Zell?� She squinted, her eyes adjusting to the change in light. �Zell?� In the corner, Zell sat with his face blank staring out into nothingness. �Zell�earth to Zell! Zell?� She took a cautious step forward; a look of worry crossed her face. Zell�s face was oddly pale, which was a deep contrast to the dark bruises that .surrounded his eyes. She reached a tentative hand toward the eerily still body. As soon as her small hand made contact with his bare arm the body erupted into a flurry of motion.
�DON�T TOUCH ME!!� Zell�s tenor voice screamed, his arms flying out.
�Ehhhh!� Selphie squeaked as she was sent flying backward.
Irvine Kinneas came running in from the wing. �What�s going on? Selphie! Are you okay?� He walked over and helped Selphie off the floor.
�Oww!� Selphie said as she rubbed a hand over her leg.  �Zell, are you okay?�
�What?� Zell looked over at Selphie with wide, unfocused eyes. �Oh my god! Selphie, did I do that?� He walked over and gently touched her cheek, which was turning a bright red.
�Yeah�I guess you did,� she brushed her hand over the red mark, �but�what was wrong? You were all still and non responsive and then you exploded screaming, �Don�t touch me!�� Zell blushed and stuttered.
�I-I-I was having�ummm�y�know�� he trailed off.
�A�Nightmare,� Irvine suggested.
�I guess you could call it that,� Zell looked down at his feet, his face flaring to a deep shade of red. From the stage people were peering in wondering why there had suddenly been a loud scream.
�Is everything okay?� the petite girl in the tank top. Her short brown hair falling ever so slightly into her face as she cocked her head to the side.
�Yeah,� Selphie replied, jumping up and waving, �everything�s fine. Why don�t you guys take a five minute break.� A few whoops came from the auditorium as the group went to talk amongst each other.
�You okay?� Irvine asked in a hushed voice so that none of the other actors could hear.
�Yeah�I think so,� Zell paused and glanced up at Selphie, �Just a dream�y�know. Hey, I�m sorry about the whole hitting you thing.� He said in a sincere tone. His blue eyes were glittering.
�It�s okay. I was just worried about you. You were so still, it looked like you were dead!�  Zell�s head shot up and a startled expression melted onto his pale face. Dead? You were�dead�Had he heard her right? No! You weren�t dead�it was a dream. He glanced down at his wrists. There wasn�t blood there�so much, though�all over the place�pouring, flowing��I need you to see�open our eyes and see�� Zell shook his head and tried to retain his normal breathing patterns. The same voice as before. For the past week, always whispering and urging him to see. See what?  Every time he looked there was bright crimson blood all over the place. Flooding his eyes and lungs, drowning him. Always with the smooth, yet taunting voice whispering in his ear and breathing on his cheek. Always with the dark violet eyes, eyes that he got lost in.
�Zell, you�re doing it again.� Zell focused his attention back to Selphie. �Listen, you really look tired. If you want to go to your room and get some sleep and I could just run the parts that you�re not in. Then, maybe, if you�re up for it, we could go over lines tonight.�
�No�no, I can do this now�I really can. Just, give me a chance to get something to drink.�
�Sure, come on, we�ll all go and get something.� Irvine said, gathering up Selphie and Zell�s arms and pulling them to the front of the stage. Zell stooped and sat down on the edge of the stage. He tried to clear his mind and listen to the conversations around him. Irvine came back a second later and plunged a glass into his hand. He looked down into the liquid. Crimson filled his vision.
�What�what is this?� he gulped looking up at Irvine.
�Cranberry juice,� Irvine said glancing at Zell suspiciously. Zell looked down once more and gagged. It was like the juice was taunting him with its thick crimson color. Feeling nauseous, Zell set the glass aside and tried not to think about anything at all. In no time, people were bustling back into the auditorium and took their rightful places on the stage.
�Let�s take it from the top of scene 5.� Selphie yelled settling into her seat. Zell took a deep breath and moved offstage and waited for his cue.

�You love me.  Love.  Well, isn�t that nice.  And pretty, and wonderful, and everything else that the world is supposed to be.  Just one more thing that it isn�t.  (cynical laugh) I grew up hearing that phrase.  Life�s not fair is it?  Fuck NO!  It�s the most unfair thing that anyone will ever experience.  Sad to see that all the people we were fighting just happened to be right.  You lose me, and I lose life.  Is it a fair trade?  Is it what you wanted.  No?  Wasn�t your intention, was it.  But it was fun, wasn�t it?  Did you have fun!!??  Was it enjoyable, pleasurable, maybe even exciting to watch me writhe in pain under your thumb.  Did you like watching my soul shriek as my mouth was kept silent?  Did you!?  Well I guess you finally got your wish.  Oh yeah, you�ll deny it now.  You loved me huh?  Right.  Just one more lie you tried to stuff down my throat and in my ignorance and naivete I ate up like candy.  Liar.  Bitch.  I need help?  Is that right?  Did you want to help me?  (Laughter )Help me with the gun, right?  No, this isn�t your fault.  It�s mine.  I never should have believed that anyone could have loved me.  That anyone could�ve wanted me in the world.  I�m just a waste of space and air.  The least you could�ve done would�ve been to let me figure it out on my own.  But you wanted to help me?  Is that right?  Did you enjoy yourself?  If you knew what it was like to live in this shell people dare to call a body on this hell they call the earth�You never would�ve talked to me.  Tried to love me.  Try to pull me out of my torture.  You don�t know what it was like.  You never would�ve �helped� me.  Liar.  This is supposed to work, right?  It�s not supposed to end now?  Nothing is worth this?  You don�t know.  And now, I guess you�ll never find out.  Will you?�  He stopped, his breath ragged and he turned his body toward the girl and�
�Whoa!! CUT! Let�s block the end of the scene again.� Selphie climbed out of her chair and waltzed up to the stage. �Zell, your body movements are too slow. You�re moving like someone who has just fallen asleep.� Zell shot her an angry glare and opened his mouth to argue with her when she cut him off. �You rehearse how you perform and you perform how you rehearse!� People on the stage and off stared at Selphie, who caught herself and blushed, �I�m sorry. I just got caught up in the whole directing thing. Anyways, let�s try your movements during the monologue, which was excellent by the way, but I just wanna change a few things.� Zell exhaled and tried to concentrated on what Selphie was saying, but a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye kept drawing him away. He turned quickly, but nothing was there. �Zell, am I over there?�
�What? Ummm�no.�
�Then could you please direct your attention toward me so we can move along.�
Zell turned his attention back to Selphie�s moving lips. �So, your voice was like perfect, the almost but not quite tears, great.  But, you�re kind of wooden; you�re just standing there, and think about it, you�re yelling at her, you�re almost blaming her.  And you�re just about to die.  So when you�re like, mocking her at the beginning, sneer.  Your face needs to be really animated.  And when you�re screaming, you need to run over and like shake her by the shoulders.  And then almost like shove her away on the �wish� line.  And when you�re asking the great rhetorical questions, get more frantic and turn away from her.  And nearer to the end of your speech, turn around to her, and then you�re going to be looking at her, almost hatefully, and then you�re going to put the gun to your head.  And then the big white lights come up, and the scene is over.  So, like, think about it, you�re explaining your suicide in this scene, so be animated, this is theater, all of your actions have to be huge!� In the audience came a stifled laugh and a sarcastic snort.
�Like his actions aren�t always huge.� Spinning around, Zell faced the voice. Seifer�s smirking face found his and the tall blonde narrowed his eyes and held Zell�s gaze.
�What�re you doing here?� Zell practically growled.
�Last time I checked this room wasn�t off limits, Dincht!�  Seifer spat in his �holier-than-thou� voice.
�And last time you checked, there wasn�t a play rehearsal going on, Almasy. Cast and Crew only.�
�Oh, so now you�re part of the cast, huh? Let me guess, you got cast because of your �Oh-so wonderful� acting skills, right? You can�t even remember where your place in society is, let alone lines.�
�What is that supposed to mean?� Zell spat, seeing red.
�Oh, I don�t know, that your brain is as big as a chicken�s, Chickenwuss.� With a growl Zell started to launch himself off the stage, but Irvine caught him by his collar.
�I�m gonna have to ask you to get your arrogant ass out of this room, Seifer, and if you step one foot in here again I will blow your head off your non-existent neck! Now LEAVE!� Irvine sneered. With a snarl, Seifer left the room, defeated. �Sorry about that Zell,� Irvine said letting go of Zell�s collar, �I just don�t think we could have afforded having our star out on disability because some arrogant asshole decided to make himself seen.�
Zell struggled to try and contain his breathing. Seifer always got him so angry!!! Next time that Fucking Bastard even talked to him he was going to punch that perfect face!
�Zell? Could we go back to the acting now?� Selphie�s small hand crept up and turned him around, �I know you�re really angry and all, but�� She broke off and thought for a moment before turning around and grinning. �Use it!!!�
�What?� Zell breathed, shocked.
�Use it! Use the anger, you�re angry in this scene so, use your anger towards Seifer as a jumping off point for the play!� She grinned and slapped him on the back. �Okay, GO!� She walked off the stage and sat down in the audience.
Zell turned and looked at the girl. Use the anger�but wait�I�m going to kill myself�isn�t there a little insecurity, fear, sadness? He sighed, and launched off into his speech. He laughed at her scornfully and played with the gun. He turned and yelled, his voice shook and he felt as if his heart was breaking into a thousand pieces. Is this what it would feel like? This whirlpool of emotions twisting and turning inside of me? �Bitch�� he spoke as a single tear ran down his cheek. He felt himself get frantic and scornful when he shouted out the rhetorical questions. He grabbed her arms, �You never would have talked to me. Tried to love me. Try to pull me out of my torture.� He felt tears stream down his face as he shook her, �You don�t know what it�s like. You never would have �helped� me. Liar!� He pushed her away and she landed on the floor, her eyes pleading and moist with unshed tears. Disgusted he turned away, �This is supposed to work, right?  It�s not supposed to end now?  Nothing is worth this?  You don�t know.  And now, I guess you�ll never find out.  Will you?� He finished at almost a whisper and picked up his �gun� hand to point it at his head.
Can you feel it?
Zell looked around suddenly. Who said that? It was as if it had spoken into his head, to his soul.
In your hand�this is what is meant to be. You�re my chosen.
What the hell? Zell screwed up his face. That voice�he�d heard it before�from his dreams.
All you need to do is see. Open your eyes.
The voice whispered into his head. Its silky tone caressing his psyche. He looked out into the audience. A dark shadow fled from a seat. Blue? A streak of blue�
Open your eyes�
Then as quickly as it appeared it was gone and he was left with the sound of applause, which thundered throughout the theater.