Part One

The boys yawned.  Heero�s alarm clock was blaring the awake siren for the eighth time this morning.  Duo made an annoyed sleeping noise like a muffled ferret and then once again got up and shut off the alarm.  He slumped back to bed, where Heero was still sleeping, peaceful as a child.  Duo mumbled something under his breath about, vacuums?  The moment his braided head hit the pillow the familiar buzzing of the infernal alarm clock once again threatened his eardrums.

�FUCK!!!!!!!!!� He screamed loudly.  Bouncing out of bed he yanked the alarm clock out of the wall and threw it out the nearby window.  The window that just happened to be unopened.  A resounding crash filled the room and glass shards flew everywhere.  Duo heard the familiar cry of Quatre from the room next door, and three sets of footsteps in the hall.  The door flung open as Quatre Rebarbra Winner, Trowa Barton (gun out of its holster) and WuFei Chang (sword unsheathed) raced into the room.  Duo stood looking sheepish in the middle of the floor, staring and grinning slightly at the window next to him.

�Wha?  Fuck Duo, again?  Why the hell can�t you just turn of the alarm like normal people blah blah blah blah blah�� Heero mumbled, waking up finally to the sounds of people entering his room.

�This is the third time this week Duo!  Man, you really need to calm down or find some other positive way to channel your energy blah blah blah spirit blah blah blah Nataku blah blah blah�� WuFei was scolding from across the room, using his sword as a leaning post.

Trowa was two feet away from him, giving Duo the sternest glare any of them could ever imagine on the silent man�s countenance.  �Buy five sheep clock twice the monkey said and then go and have dirty sex with the man in the yellow suit before the blue hats come and take us all away.�  Duo mumbled.  He turned on his heel and fell back into bed next to Heero.

The boys looked at him in stunned silence.  �WHAT THE HELL!?!?�  Quatre shrieked, his eyes bulging out of his head.  He looked confusedly at Trowa, who only shrugged and they turned and walked out of the room.

�You really need to get him to stop doing that!�  WuFei said quietly to Heero.  �Now I am going to go and praise Nataku.�  Heero rolled his eyes and looked at the young man asleep beside him.  Duo was mumbling in his sleep again, his eyes shut and his arms and legs hugging Heero�s thigh.  The pilot rolled his eyes, �he doesn�t even shut up when he�s asleep�, he thought to himself.  But even Heero had to admit that he was really cute when he was asleep, a little angel mumbling to himself.

Heero thought back to what Duo had said.  And growled, �The man in the yellow suit huh?  Well, I�ve been known to wear yellow.�  He remarked casually to himself, knowing that it was a boldfaced lie.  All he ever wore were those spandex and that tank top that was mysteriously tucked in somehow.  He loved the way it confused Duo to no end how in the hell he ever got a shirt tucked into spandex (hell, it confuses me too!).  He looked back down at the sleeping boy beside him; Duo was drooling all over the bed as he mumbled nonsense words in his sleep.  �That�s it.�  Heero said out loud.  He grabbed the smaller man�s braid and flung him out of the bed.  Duo gave a startled squeak as he felt himself hurtling through the air backwards.  He attempted to grab onto anything around him, but to no avail.  He landed smartly on his ass, giving a cry of pain as he felt his tailbone crunch on the wood floor beneath him.

��Hey, what happened to the window?  You go nuts again?�  He asked, looking about the room disoriented.

�Hmmm, baka.�  Heero grumbled.  �So who�s the man in the yellow suit, huh?�  Heero inquired coyly, the corners of his mouth twitched into a smile.

�Wha?�  Duo was taken aback, and then turned a bright shade of crimson. �I-I-I don�t know what you�re talking about�.�  He said quietly.

�Oh yeah?  Then why did the monkey want more sheep clocks twice?  Do you know anything about that?�  He smirked as he said this.  Duo was so red he was almost purple at this point.

�Umm, did I happen to-yknow maybe-just possibly-cause I have before- talk in my sleep?�  He asked, the last word was more a squeak then a word.  Heero nodded blankly and then burst into fits of uncontrollable laughter at his tiny companion.  �Shut up!�  Duo whined.  Finally giving up at getting Heero to stop making fun of him, he sat on the floor pouting.  He began to whimper slightly, his lower lip and chin quivering ever so slightly.  He hated it immensely whenever Heero made fun of him.

�Oh come on.  Stop pouting, it�s unbecoming!�  Heero chided.  This only made Duo whimper louder.  Heero shook his head, knowing that he had just blatantly lied, it was incredibly becoming and attractive when Duo pouted.  He fought a smile that attempted to fly to his lips.  Duo looked up at Heero with huge, violet eyes that were forming crystalline tears.  Heero looked back with his cold, cobalt blue eyes and finally gave in to his primal instinct.  Duo shrunk back at first as Heero lunged at him, and then realized what was going on.  Heero�s warm lips covered Duo�s pouting mouth.  Duo whimpered again, but this time in surprise and hunger rather than in sadness.  He felt Heero�s tongue brush against his lower lip, erasing any pout that ever could have been there.

Heero pinned Duo�s shoulders to the floor and straddled his hips with his own knees.  He continued the passionate kiss, his tongue feeling the insides of Duo�s mouth with an electric intensity.  His ass was up in the air, Duo opened his eyes for a moment, and would have smirked if his mouth was not occupied by the warmth of Heero�s.  He slid his ::cough:: large hands up the backs of Heero�s thighs, lingering for a moment at the base of his rear and then gripping Heero�s buttocks tightly with both hands.  Heero made a noise that sounded a bit like, �EEP!� as Duo pulled the stronger pilot�s groin toward his own.  Heero buried his face in the crook of Duo�s neck between his shoulder and head.  He began to lick along his collar bone, sending tingles up and down the braided man�s spine.  Duo�s back arched with the sensation and he ground his body up against Heero�s.  He trailed his finger tips up Heero�s naked back, it seemed the only time he didn�t wear that godforsaken tank top was when he was asleep, when he didn�t wear anything, much to Duo�s glee.

Heero�s tongue trailed from his collarbone down to his belly button and back up again, sending icy shocks through Duo�s body.  Duo ran his fingers through Heero�s soft, brown hair and pulled the cold boys face back parallel with his own.  They began to kiss again, their heads becoming one entity, lips and tongues merging together in one perfect bliss.  Behind them, the door creeked open.  �OH MY GOODNESS!!  Trowa, will you take a look at this!�  Quatre chimed up from the doorway.  Trowa and the blonde young man stood in the doorway, regarding to two boys on the floor with raised eyebrows and smirks.  Quatre folded his arms and leaned one shoulder against the doorway.  He shot a sideways glance at Trowa, who regarded him with and air of humor.  �We already got this out of our systems earlier this morning, now didn�t we!�  He said laughingly, Trowa shot him an undefinable glance, and blushed a pale shade of pink.

Heero quickly realized his nakedness, and leaped back onto the bed, covering himself with the comforter.  �You�re supposed to knock!  We at least give you that much decency!�  He snapped.  Duo on the floor in his boxers was rolling and giggling hysterically with the whole situation.  He found this utterly hilarious.  Heero shot him a warning look and Duo quickly quieted to silent laughter.  Heero shook his head and sighed exasperatedly.  Duo covered his mouth with a hand trying to keep his giggling under control.

�Excuse me!�  He sputtered as he sprinted to the bathroom across the hall.  Splitting through Trowa and Quatre, knocking the blonde pilot to the ground on his rear.

�Hey!�  Quatre whined.  He rubbed his butt with one hand and Trowa helped him up with the other.  From the bathroom you could hear Duo having a conniption fit.  �He�s probably sitting on his ass rolling around as he laughs� thought Heero.  He smiled at this thought, and began to walk toward the bathroom.  �Stop right there.�  Said Quatre sternly as he placed a hand on Heero�s shoulder.  Heero almost dropped the blanket he had draped around his waist, and then stopped himself realizing Trowa would kill him if he broke Quatre�s wrist.  Instead, he shoved past the blonde pilot and headed toward the bathroom.  Quatre turned to the taller pilot next to him.  �Man, we can�t have them desecrate the bathroom too!  They�ve already just as well ruined the kitchen table!  And the refrigerator!  And the hall closet!  Damn, the bathroom�s just about the only place we have left!�  He whined as he snuggled up to Trowa.

�Umm, Quatre, the bathrooms already been desecrated.�  Trowa said pulling slightly away from Quatre so he could see his face.  Just then WuFei walked by.  �And just where do you think you�re going?�  Trowa inquired from the angry looking young man.

�I�m going to praise Nataku.�  WuFei replied flatly.

�Again!?  Didn�t you do that already this morning!?�  Quatre asked in stunned awe.

�I don�t know what you�re talking about.�  WuFei grimaced, reddening slightly.  He turned on his heel and walked into the bathroom.  �GOD!!  Why don�t you guys go back to YOUR room!�  He screamed as he walked in on Heero and Duo who were�.ahem�being�friendly.  �AND GET SOME CLOTHES ON YUY!!!  YUCK!  YUCK!  YUCK!  YUCK!  Am I the ONLY STRAIGHT GUY IN THIS ENTIRE DORM!?  WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT MAXWELL!!??�

Duo giggled incredulously.  �What are you here for anyway?  Huh?  WuFei?�  He fought of uncontrollable sobs of laughter.

�I am�.well I�m�.,� WuFei straightened, �I am going to praise Nataku!�  He said proudly.

Duo erupted into a fit of laughing.  �NATAKU!!!!!!�  He shrieked, tittering.  He and Heero stumbled out of the bathroom, Heero gripping the blanket he brought out of his room around his hips.  Duo was giggling and trying to pull it off.  Heero turned to try and slug him, and ended up dropping the sheet anyway.  Duo collapsed onto the floor, laughing so hard he cried.  WuFei tried to shake the thought of Duo on all fours, and Heero kneeling behind him�NO!  WuFei�s nose started to bleed.

�DAMMIT!  I don�t even LIKE other guys!�  He shuddered, and tried to recall the pictures of the last playboy magazine he had stolen.  His nose became a crimson river.

Heero and Duo were headed back toward their bedroom to complete their ::ahem:: fun, when suddenly they were stopped by Quatre.  �Stop right there Yuy and Maxwell, you�re not going anywhere.�  Heero once again fought the urge to break the pilot�s wrist; he had to remember Trowa�s phantom reaction.

�What do you want, Winner?�  He grumbled through clenched teeth.  Duo looked at him pleadingly; the small man hated Heero�s temper.

�You.� He looked at Duo who was cowering behind Heero.

�Me?�  He squeaked.  His voice cracking in the middle of the small word.

�You woke us all up this morning you baka ama!!!  You have to serve punishment!�  Quatre said commandingly, surprising even himself with his own forcefulness.

�How come you�re never that commanding in bed?�  Trowa whispered in his ear.  His soft lips and tongue brushing against the flesh of Quatre�s ear.  Quatre giggled and pushed him aside for a minute.

The blonde pilot thought for a moment and then whispered in the ear of the circus performer, �Go back to our room, take off all your clothes, and get into bed, NOW!  Satisfied?�

A smile worked its way onto the lips of Trowa Barton.  Duo and Heero�s jaws dropped, they didn�t think they�d ever ever EVER seen the man smile.  �Oh captain my captain!�  Said Trowa.  He saluted, turned and ran back to the room he shared with Quatre.

Quatre smiled to himself and became immersed in the delightful fantasy that was soon to become a reality.  Heero cleared his throat, and Quatre shook himself back into the real world.  �Anyways,� he said, still shaking his head, �Your punishment is��you have to make us all breakfast.�

Duo�s face lit up with surprise and joy, �YAY!�  he exclaimed as he turned and bounced into the bedroom he shared with Heero to get dressed.  Heero sat shaking his head, eyes bugging out of his head, mouthing �No, no, no, no etc.�

Quatre looked at him and cocked his head to the side, �What are you wigging out about?� he asked.  Heero sighed heavily, and turned an icy stare to the blonde pilot.  �What?�  He asked to Heero�s killer look.

�Have you ever seen Duo cook?  He said coldly.

�No, can�t say that I have, no.  We mostly let WuFei do the cooking, he makes really good food.  You remember that dinner he made the other night, with the-�

�Do you value your life?�  Heero cut in.

�Umm, yes, why?�

�Because if his cooking doesn�t kill you, I will.�

Duo�s head popped out of the room, �Hey!  I heard that!� he said, almost hurt.  �I�m a good cook!  I think, well I haven�t ever really cooked before and I think that I�d be really good, yknow?  But the only thing is-�

�Shut up!�  Said Heero.  Duo seemed to deflate, but then remembered he was getting to cook.  He quickly brightened and bounced off toward the kitchen.

�I warned you.�  Heero reminded Quatre and walked back into his room.  The young man stood in the hallway silent for a moment.  Wondering if the other boy would go through with his threat, he didn�t think so.  Quatre was still a little worried though, Heero wasn�t one to back down from a threat.

�Oh captain, my CAPTAIN!!!!�  he heard a voice scream from down the hallway, and quickly rushed to Trowa, who was waiting, as instructed, naked in their bed.


There once were five boys who lived in a dorm.
Thanks to their body heat it was always warm.
And they were all gay
Except for WuFei
Who still praised Nataku despite the scorn