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friday 4th june
saturday 22nd may yoz, finally got my computer up and working since i move back home for the holidays. decided to update a little before going out the whole day long... am already in the midst of attachment suddenly...time really flies when u have things to do... hee hee. well, this holiday im gonna enjoy myself like mad...shopping, travelling, rebonding hair and so on and so forth...cool, never spent so much money in my life before. confessions of a true blue turned shoppaholic. hahaha... day in day out wednesday 27th april whoa, its been way too long since i update this blog liao. dunno why ....but seems that i have gotten either too busy or too lazy to do so liao. noti little me! actually, am in the midst of exams right now..hee hee, but then have new work to put up, so will put in some words here too... its been a mini drama series in my hall these few days...seeing other with relationship problems, im starting to develop a phobia of ever getting a relationship myself. the emotional trauma i see them go through, the pain and the tears...it scares me. well, that seems to be the usual fare of the things happening in hall so...i shall leave it be. taking and giving love & pain monday 8th december it can be seen that i'm getting lazier in updating my blog...hmm...guess i have nothing much to say. though my life has been like a drama serial sometimes, with the people in my life turning my life upside down...but sometimes i really dun feel like repeating myself... i'm more at ease expressing myself through my scribbles nowadays. updated 3 workds at once! how productive can a creator hope to be...hahaha sloth, one of the seven deadly sins, consuming me, as i am guilty, of its ever enticing embrace, drowning in laziness... lazy day thursday 2nd october its 27 days to exams and counting, and i'm left with
quite a few major projects hanging, i haven't been regularly catching
up with my work...in other words, im dead meat. argh thursday 31st july yoz, i got the most unexpected surprise today. one of my previous seniors called me and there were 3 of them in hall, and they sorta came over to visit me. it was so cool, we even played bridge in my room till 4.30 in the morning...so fun, all of them still the same. well some changed and became even more funny. hahaha. but was unable to watch twins effect with j...so sorry. promise will watched it on sun with u... old friends here they come tuesday 22nd july the most unfortunate thing has happened. our beloved hun hun has finally passed away yesterday nite. i was notified by my sister on the phone. she was crying so hard that i could barely heard her over the phone. she did invest alot of feelings in hun hun after all the poor dear, ever since she came to our house, she suffered alot...maybe she wasn't meant to be with us, but we are very happy to have her for the short while that she is here on earth. those reading my entries, and know who hun hun is, maybe you all can give her a little prayer to send her on her way. i'm too sad to contine any further. a little flame may she rest in peace sunday 20th july well, im back in hall again, just round out all in all i only have lessons on tues and sat this wk...hahaha..cool neh? today is my noti sis's 15th bday, just had han's with her b4 coming back. heh heh, didn't know she was so popular until this year,her bday, goodness, me, presents keep coming in like water...got guys give her gifts somemore. but i think just as friends lah...but quite suprised lor. she was too i think. geez, last nite was the most horrible nite i've ever been through. it was the nite b4 my sis's bday too...when the most nitemarish thing happened...my momo finally attack our pet hamster hun hun....AHHHHHHH...........................!!! it was just simply terrible...close to dawn we heard a racket near the hamster's cage, and we literally caught him with his entire head inside the hamster's cage. then he hid in one corner on my bed. i thought he could hurt himself (i stupidly thought he fell down the bed) and i grab him over. to my horror, he had something furry in his mouth, which gave a squeak when i had a good look at it. thank buddha momo dropped the furry ball on the bed (due to confusion or fright i never did found out) but i quickly scoop up the tiny ball and passed it to V who was staying over. lights were on in a second, the culprit was locked in his cage and was going to be moved to another location when he escape...i leave him be and locked him out of our room. then we were examining that poor little ball of fur....and god, there was just so much blood, from such a little thing. we thought she couldn't make it. thankgod momo didn't really bit her hard, or snap her bones or neck. (i think he was intending to play with his food around first b4 going in for the kill) anyway, we cleaned her up abit, b4 moving her to another cage lined with tissues ( we conclude the woodshavings in the other cage would aggravate her wound) after that, i think we all prayed really really hard for her to pull through this disaster. which she did, but the poor dear, so thin now, due to loss of blood we think, but still alive. we decide to permanently move her out to V's house, where's there's less danger from cats in the house. my sis will visit her regularly. an now momo is in our bad books now...no doubt my sis will take every chance to torment it for harming her precious hun hun. and tt's the end of that...but poor hun hun. nearly cried for it...nearly thought she wouldn't be with us anymore. thank buddha for not taking her yet jaws of terror a nightmarish birthday
Tuesday July 15th wow... talking bout time gap, look at this, more than a month has passed since my last entry. tsk tsk...ah well, you could say i was both busy and lazy at the same time to continue dutifully updating my blog. lotsa things happened during this gap, let me see if i can remember any of them ... well, spent 2.5 weeks having a super boring jobs, which didn't require me to use much of my brains at all. (and that's saying a lot) and there was this girl at my work place. well if you can call her a girl at all as she really looks like a guy, erm, a more effeminate one or a really butch butch. think she need to be escorted into the female toilets by her supervisor everytime...since i think ppl outside will tend to misinterpret and thought of her as a guy barging into the girls toilet. wasn't very close as im still rather uncomfortable around her, we just didn't click! saw someone i knew at the workplace. she also came back to work. wat a coincidence. also went into the singapore casket for the first time in my life. wow...didn't know they rented out places to ppl to perform funeral wakes and its even fully aircondition, with a fireplace?! in the room for burning of incense papers. wow..talking bout high tech... yoz , also saw dear ms kong with inokun after a gap of 3 years. still the same ole ms kong, bubbly as ever. she never seemed to age...i wonder why? hee hee. well, we chatted about the good ole days back at cedar, and where did all our classmates went too, how naughty we were...hahah..it was hilarious. and yesterday was my first night back in hall...hee hee. but my speakers doesn't seem to work...sob sob, i wonder why. hmm...just played at the harrypotter's page, and i got sorted into gryffindor..hee hee. inokun, better luck next time!! =P people we have who am i? Wednesday June 11th yoz ppl, my blog has come back to life once again due to help from my dear friend, inokun. tadah, my blog layout designer...hahaha! *wink, arigato*no lah, basically, i just gave her an idea of what i wanted and within 2 hours this baby was born. cool, thinking bout efficient ppl *wolf whistle* SUPER COOL (not super love ok!_to inokun) dunno when i'll be uploading this blog actually, but dun worry, i've been updating it all the while, there's loads of stories, adventures, incidents to tell...hee hee hee. some happy, some sad, some angry ah well, my usual vat of emotional turbulence. i'm used to it. ppl who are reading should be used to it as well. right at this very moment, is listening to inokun strumming her guitar (by the way im at her house right now!) its been a wow experience, and whoa too, when inokun is lecturing on how some html and flash codes works, and demonstrates to me how it works. actually i think im driving her nuts, coz i abit slow to catch on, but im hands off codes man...just looking at them make my head ache like hell. well, think i'll be looking at my accounting SW pretty soon, by then i'll have more than ennough codes to look at. hahaha... out of the ashes its alive Sunday 8 june Saturday’s joy big day!! Whoohoo, her 21st bday celeb at the chalet. Cool… there were just so MANY ppl there. There was even a key shaped cake for her. (erm, heard that if its from angie the choice, it’ll cost $298, but since from somewhere else, its just $98!! Wat a great difference) anyway, the usual, there, was good food, but little else to do, other than poker…which is just so…BORING!!…bascially, slept the day away until we had to leave. Oh, and there was something pretty interesting that happened, just outside our chalet, some guys from some other chalets dunno whether they got drunk or not, but they started threatening each other and scolding hokkien vulgarities. And wow…they started hitting each other, and all of us was staring at the scene, not even bothering to come into the chalet. But 3rd aunt was real worried bout joy and kept asking her to come in instead of staying outside. I agree, it was pretty stupid and dangerous to keep on staying outside, esp on your 21st birthday!! Well, I was staying inside of the house most of the time looking outside ( I still have my survival instinct ok!!) then I saw a guy holding tissues to his face, seems that he’s bleeding from his face. Damn…tt was bloody. Uncle m and his wife hadn’t arrived yet at that pt, so I called to ask him to come in through the back door instead. Safer, coz his wife was heavy with his child. Hee hee…didn’t know time flies so fast, she’s now 4.5 mths pregnant, half the journey down, half more to go. The next time I came down to get some food, the police and the medic was already here, and the bleeding man became a pig head man swath in thick layers of gauze and bandages…hahahaha…serves him right for fighting. But wow, was the police fast or not?? They really came in the matter of mins and was asking ppl around for recording of statements on what really happened I think. Hmm…so efficient…I wonder which branch were they from??? Today supposed to meet up meet up with jea, pw and kl, but didn’t coz they wanted to change last min. all my friends seems to get into the groove of doing things last min, which I absolutely quite abhor, since I packed all my schedule properly and allocated a time for them. Well, I still went back to joy’s chalet, which is still on today, with a whole bunch of comics to amuse me. Well, fine, I get my day to rest since the whole week I’ve been having outings…just wanna bitch about this for a while. hard fists weekend news
Let’s see, yesterday met up with sf and ct at bugis. Talked a bit, ate abit at V8 movie café…ambience quite nice there. Hee hee hee. Found out from them that GE’s results are out, scared the hell out of me, coz I wasn’t really confident about that subject, considering I left 30mins b4 the exams ended coz I couldn’t think of anything else to write..wow. my CA must be quite good to help me get an A!!! woohoo!! Was whooping for joy when I saw it was an A. but GE is not my core…my results for me true efforts are not out yet, making me feel as if im on the edge, not sure whether to jump down or not…hahaha….tt’s kinda an extreme comparison. Oooh..brought up the subject of FYP with them…tt’s kinda a big problem too…or should I just procrasinate first. Ah well…and finally I got the idea of what the whole pre-registration is all about. Im really a sotong queen sometimes…heh heh Today, its outing with j, supposedly cy and jen is supposed to come along. But they suddenly last min said they couldn’t come. Wah liaoz…was so shocked when I heard it coz its them who decided on the day to meet up, instead they are the ones who couldn’t make it. So angry…and pissed. Geez…to think I had to turn jo and ocm down for Friday’s..now pushed to next week…tsk tsk. Aiyoh, how come ppl round me are saying things and not doing them…its really turning me off. Met up with j only and ate lunch, heh heh…then we did prank calls on jen and cy and made them feel guilty bout the whole trip by blaming them and threatening them to make sure to come for the big gathering the week after this….joyce said if they did not come, then they don’t have to come into my house again…hahaha…didn’t know j was so good at negotiating and threatening ppl. Hee hee… We spend the rest of the time at the restaurant doing some hate letter thingy, hahaha..doodling, writing and watever nots to sorta punished them when they read it I guess. Its really kinda upsetting when they say things last min, its really lao2 hu3 bu4 fa1 wei1, ni3 dang1 wo3 shi4 bing 4 mao1. Sigh… then we bought my hair dye for that day as well. The salesgirl was really warm and friendly, gave us lotsa advice for the dye, and talked bout school, coz she’s in my course in SMU…eheh..talked about ntu also. But quite fun!! last minute notice empty promises
Let’s see, yesterday, our cedar clique met for a mini gathering. Hahaha…well well surprised surprised, lyn was the first few there…goodness, she used to be the queen of non punctualness…but I guess she changed for the better..tt’s good. No need to wait so long for her anymore. Well, let’s see, it was just a normal gathering, the usual exchanging of gifts for the bday gals (me & xn) the usual chatting, then they had to leave, leaving me and jayna to do some shopping. And she smoked again….2wice. in front of me. Sometimes I used to think I’d rather she lied to me, and never let me know about her smoking…this is the time when ignorance is bliss, and I’d gladly accept the ignorance. Who knows what I really wants? Forget it… Oooh…inokun came to my house today, think I can count on one hand the number of times she came to my house. Coz she’s picking up my letter for sugichan and rudolph dear to be included in her mail pack. Well, she got to see mocha and kept hinting to me she wants a cat…but she can’t coz her mom think afraid of cats? Is it? Well, something along that line I guess. tick tock tick Beauty of punctuality
yoz was looking forward to meeting ym last friday again, but she didn’t come for this mini gathering, so in the end, left me and wf again, hahaha..the other time also like that. But ok lah, 2 person can sing more mah. Wow, we were the ktv’s first customers I swear, it opened just after we arrived. Hee hee..total service for the first hour. Today, me and jayna went to buy xn’s present. Was happily doing myself up when she msged me that r would be coming with us on the bus b4 he met someone else. So off we went, the weird combi, he was behind, our topics didn’t include him much, and in the end he fell asleep. Why can’t she see that a 3ppl gathering with 2 of them being a couple will not work becoz either me or r will end up being the 3rd wheel, meaning being excessive. Its weird…when I went out with jh and pw, it was ok, coz the 3 of us are CLOSE friends with each other, but just don’t force another mini outing with them. Goosebumps just travel all along my arms. After tt, we went for a little shopping for quite sometime…b4 she’ll meet up with r and some other friends to visit m in hospital. So obviously when she wanted to meet her friends, I wanted to leave. I thought it was logical, but she said they can walk down with me coz its on the way to the hospital..wat could I say to tt? But when I reached their group, guess wat, they were smoking like chimneys, and she was joining them smoking soon after too. Wat could I do? Sit beside them, look away and try to find some fresh air. I really dunno wat the hell jayna’s thinking in dragging me there. Me tolerating her smoking is one matter, me waiting for you to smoke is another one, ME WAITING FOR HER & HER FRIENDS TO FINISH SMOKING BESIDE ME IS ANOTHER MATTER!!!I swear I’ll die of 2nd hand lung cancer sooner than I wanted. But I don’ t think she knows, or does she even cares?? Or has she normalize everything, even my nagging on her smoking….i can say, nowadays, everytime I see her smoke in front of me, my heart plummets another level deeper down to I dunno where…I just cant take it anymore. Sometimes seeing her so nonchalant about smoking makes me wanna strangle her there and then. Better to die by my hand ? hhahaha.a…im going mad. do not drag me down To die by my hand
whoa, watched Xmen 2 with my sis today…so cool. But sad to say, we got the first row seats for the show, wah liaoz…to think that after a few weeks the crowds would lessen, but NOOO….they had to compete with us for the seats. Even the show after the time slot also left the first row, so we just took the earlier slot and suffered our necks through it. But Xmen2 was still very nice, front seats or not…funny with nice action scenes….unlike matrix reloaded. sigh, tt was a huge disappointment with me…ah well. Didn’t go to jayna’s bf’s chalet. It was too late after the show by then, and I didn’t feel like dragging myself all the way just to smoke myself to death together with the food on the BBQ. Thus gave my sis a little tour around orchard..she really quite swa ku one. Hee hee hee…but think she needs a more detailed exploration with her friends someday…its with friends then u find out where are the nice food and places to sit and tok cok…my fave activity! Hahahaha craning powers on the other side
Saturday 24 may Hmm…let’s see, went swimming with jayna yesterday and went out to meet xt for lunch this morning, plus an afternoon full of exciting volleyball. Something happened during my meeting with jayna yesterday which had me seething in rage. Was just waiting to cross the road with jayna, chatting away happily when I suddenly felt a force pulling on my bag strap…a rather large force I might add. Was thinking to myself, shit, somebody trying to snatch my bag, so I did wat my instinct told me to do, get a good standing and pulled back. And I heard a clanking sound and the pulling stopped. Found out that it was an ah pek who fell off his bike. Think his handle caught on my strap. But you know what the infuriating was??!! He glared at me as if the whole thing was MY FAULT???!!!!!!hello, you didn’t warn us to get away when you were going past, after nearly dragging me down with him, he got the FACE to glare at me as if its my fault. Was going to help him when I saw that look, after that I adamantly refused to move, from my spot, glaring at him back. Wat an MCP?? Wah liaoz…that was almost the last straw for me to quit guys completely. Idiotic ah pek, ruined a perfectly nice morning. Well, as for jayna, when we swam, I broached on the topic of her not calling home the other time. Told me she sent her phone for servicing..but come on, wat kind of an excuse is tt?? You can always call back on some other phone rite? Hell, even a public phone would do…but nooo….she didn’t. I really didn’t know how to continue further, so I did wat I always do best. Run away by crapping. Funny to think how much she loved the song “easier to run” by linkin park, when im doing it to her all the time, and she never knew. Irony of all ironies… Ah…xt, haven’t seen her in sometime. Slimmed down abit, and still as funny as ever. She’s so cute, tt’s why she’s my little pumpkin. Heh heh. At SPE saw ja and hz, still looking good. Saw HC play, this batch is not bad. Better than my batch tt’s all I can say, and with better luck than ours. SA was not bad too, of course, they have ja and hz for coaches. Awww..i missed them..i even got to act cute in front of them. So fun…awww…those were my volleyball days. And now the new generation has taken over. =) balls whizzing balls bouncing friday 23 may oooh…accompanied inokun to her interview yesterday. Cool. Was to her house after a blank period for so long…a lot of things changed. But still almost the same. Uncle and auntie was both in that day, so I was kinda flustered for a bit, but it was ok. Watched “LUNA SEA” concert dvd named “ THE FINAL ACT” . think its becoz they were going to disband after that concert. Awww….*rabbuit hears lotsa hearts breaking all over the place* most of them in the band were kinda cute…but for that concert, I was particularly impressed with Inoran’s image * Inoran….inokun, get the link?* it was…hmm…was it dreadlocks or was it tiny braids…anyway..he did this and then tied half of them into a ponytail…NICE NICE!!!!. I really liked that image of his and I mentioned to inokun too. Coz she has a poster of them in her room, and he was having a stubble…yucks!! Didn’t like it at all. Coz I liked him as a pretty boi, and pretty boi have no stubble…he looks weird with a stubble. No longer pretty boi….=( ah well. As for the interview, surprise surprise, the interviewer was another ex cedarian…our senior. Cool…it was a small place, but cozy I supposed. It was a rather long interview, thankgoodness brought some comics to distract me *even inokun found the SDs inside cute…ahh..crazy tokyo paradise* and guess wat when she came out, she told me she was shortlisted IMMEDIATELY!! OMG!! That was fast, considering there were quite a lot of candidates for the job from her school. But hey, our senior told her that her portfolio is the best she has seen so far, she was even kinda disappointed that inokun only brought some with her, coz she wanted to see more of it…hee hee hee….congrats to inokun. talents to be recognized may the best man wins
talked to Han online today, hahaha..found out that our almighty leader was shocked to find my letter of resignation on his table. Aiyah, should’ve stayed behind just to look at his face upon his realisation that im not going to stay on further…that would’ve been fun. Its time to hold my stand against him, otherwise he’ll just take me for granted, as if I have no life and works like a machine…pleeeease, im quite certain I got more life than he does. But well…he did ask Han why I quitted, though I think Han was not quite sure how to answer, and he wanted me to stay on as a member. But im pretty sure I wanna sever all ties with that irresponsible man who gives almost impossible deadlines. Im also sick of the way that he gave ALL of us full marks when its so obvious that only a few are doing work. So yah…I quit due to his views going against my principle…haha…sounds so great. the look on his face broken bounds
goodness, more and more news are happening everyday. Of all things I have to hear, this had to be one of the worst news. I knew that jayna didn’t go home when we were in hall, but I did not expect to hear her continuing her habit even during the hols….so much so that she didn’t call home and is simply unreachable by anyone close to her. Not even me, since her hp cannot be reached. Her parents are worried, and wat does she do? She FORGOT / DID NOT BOTHER TO NOTIFY THEM!!!! Wat kind of irresponsible behaviour is this?? Just becoz she got a boyfriend does not give her any RIGHTS to do this things to those who cares for her. I was just a little shocked and actually felt nothing much when I heard the news. Of course I would assume that she is with her bf now…snoozing away like nobody’s biz, as if there’s only the 2 of them in the whole wide world. If she is ever going to function like that, im afraid, those around her would leave her soon. And now I come to YQ’s previous dilemma, should I or shouldn’t I have a proper discussion with jayna all over again??? shit…no doubt things will look ugly when I do it. I can’t restrain myself much further, I felt like unleashing all fury towards her, no matter how unproductive that would be. But being the taurus I am.. practicality comes first, and why waste precious energy on it when its not going to amount to anything. But if what AM said is true, that she didn’t go back without telling her parents, then sad to say, im greatly saddened by her decision, her actions. I think disappointed would be a more apt word. But im already starting to feel the effects of distancing myself from her both physically and psychologically, im rather numb to it all. Oh dear….is that a problem? Though I think it would be better for us. Not returning
A suxs..big time. Wat’s wrong with him? Am I the only person in the sub-com???!!! NO..tt is not wat I see. So unfair, so idiotically biased….i feel so pressured and feels that injustice is done to me. This is it, this is the last straw, I am going to QUIT that cesspit. Argh….to be humiliated and overused just for some miserable points…sorry, no can do. Ever since that fateful day when I got humiliated beyond my belief by that stupid wrinkled bitchy witch, and when he DISTRUSTS my ability to perform…then I see no reason to continue our working relationship. After tmr’s meeting, im gonna hand up my resignation letter no matter what. Even if I didn’t get my due bday present its ok…I can’t STAND being inside any longer. Who knows, CJ and J may decide to come along with me and the whole sub-com will collapse…hahaha…oh dear, im being evil here and I SIMPLY DELIGHT in it…hahahaha evil laughter All of us think he’s being unfair to the hardworking ones by giving those not doing anything much the same amt of points. So that is the reason. And I will delight in giving him my letter of resignation. And never have to suffer his orders again. Who does he think he is to dictate and rule me like that!! Hmph…will not take it lying down just like that. Rules and orders rebel and break free
Another day came and gone. And at this darker hours of my life, I saw angels and white light beaming into my vision. They are none other than ino kun, fetch and pb. Ino is the original light in my life though…at that time she knew what was going on. But this time it was just simply us enjoying our time with each other. While fetch and pw…awww…some things never do change. But think fetch mellowed abit (EXCEPT for his preference of vulgar language) and has grown rounder….HAHAHAHAA….can’t help but tease him all day long bout it, and me wanting to pinch his cheeks. Hadn’t seen him for almost a year I think…OMG!!! O______O;;; but did gotten chastise by him for the extreme values I held regarding certain RECENT matters. I guess I have nothing to rebut against it and think its time I take one step back and look at the BIG picture..was too myopic in my views b4 I got a lecture from him. And the only think I could think was to literally and metaphorically back myself into one corner and POUT at both pb and him. Goodness…hahaha I dunno whether they’ll ever know the feeling of living with someone for the past year or so and suddenly she’s not so there anymore…the void in my daily life is rather huge. I felt jealous, I think, insanely jealous, and the worse thing was I didn’t know how to cope with it. Coupled that and somehow her actions goes against all the moral values that I held so close to me that I can’t help but react so strongly to it. It was a reflex reaction, one that I did without thinking. Protecting myself with sarcasm, cynicism, skepticism, and distance from her. Regarding her bad habits, all I can say is “ as u like” and refusing to partake in it, which includes drinking which I think is a totally meaningless activity. Talking?? Why not over a cup of tea? Why over alcohol which frankly suxs in my opinion… There are roughly 2 mths for me to think things through, to keep myself busy, and keep other relationships alive…I tend to place them at the back of my head, coz she was so much in the foreground that I couldn’t see past her. That would need to change. When the bed across the room is empty, I will remember to talk with those online, those who are around. Things will change from now on…but I won’t take the extreme steps to it this time round. Its just subtle changes which are inevitable in its finality… Angels up high Blinded by ties
thursday 15 may one more day b4 im finally free, and im finding myself spending my last nite in hall alone...with dear momo. thankgoodness for momo, if not, im not sure how im going to survive another nite of sleeping alone. i dunno if she is ever going to read these few entries, maybe she even forgot that i even have one...or maybe she just doesn't have the "time" to read it much anymore. well, will be going to our respectives homes during the hols, things won't be so bad...but when the new semester arrives, im not sure whether i can take it if she still do these kind of acts. she could be liberal, and nochalant about it, but i just couldn't...i think i feel and act abit like a jilted jealous friend. sigh...i shall need better control over myself...these wouldn't do for long. the most extreme i can go is to switch rooms or quit staying in hall?? im such an extremist...ah well one more day so close
wednesday 14 may 3's the lucky number isn't it...for the 3rd time in a row. i guess not many ppl would know what im tallking bout, but that's fine. i just wanna let it out for a while, even if nobody understands, even if all think im mad...hahahaha...raving lunatic here if i ever saw one. think its good to be mad once in a while, and tok rubbish, and dun have to care what other ppl thinks bout u. it is here where i found the stage to rave for all i care, and not many ppl in the world would notice...too busy in their own world they are. 3's the lucky number i dunno what im talking about
monday 12 may she didn't came back..again. im not sure why, but i guess i should've expected it. i have a feeling this is going to turn out like the situations in the other 2 rooms...i guess it was inevitable all along.. i never could change her...maybe i shouldn't at all. her smoking, drinking and everything is of her own choice. wat can i say to all that? in wat position could i say anything that will make her listen...nothing...not that i didn't tried...i did. maybe i tied her to me too tightly, that she can't breathe? that she felt smothered? i did think that wat i said was for her own good, but as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intention. if she didn't wanna heed..that's fine with me. listening to stef sun's kite now..feel that the lyrics are apt for the situation now. maybe i should let her go, who am i to tie her down at all. she's her own person, she has her own path and choices to make. she needs her freedom, and i am perfectly willing to give it to her. everything its accumulating between us, but she never did know. not exactly. something changed between both of us, and i guess its time for us to have a little time to each of ourselves. she would need the time and space to develop her relationship with r further. i would be happy for her, seriously, but i guess, this time i will be watching her from afar instead of standing beside her this time. great joy comes with great pain with her..i knew and i accept it. time has come fly away kite saturday 10 may this is exactly one day after my 20th birthday...gosh, just saying those few numbers make me feel so old. but since i'm having it during the exams period, there wasn't much big affair about it, though i guess u could say i had a "mini" celebration in hall, such a pleasant surprise to wake up to after waking up groggy from my afternoon nap and to find all of them there...singing happy birthday song to me!! hee hee... but other than that, was quite shock when i came back on friday morning to see a half naked man lying with on jayna's bed in my room. man saying i was freaked out must be the UNDERSTATEMENT of the year. due to my strict upbringing and influenced by my ever conservative mom, seeing a half naked man in my room is NOT the most appealing thing to happen to me on my birthday. though i did have a good talk with jayna in the end, but i felt kinda sad that she forgot all bout our pact to bring men into our room, not even to mention stay over night half naked. the only redeeming thing was that he DID NOT lie in my bed, if he did, i swear to buddha i'll just burn the whole bed up there and then. i was THAT ANGRY!!! so much so i ran into j's room and refused to stay in MY OWN ROOM. but tt's over, though he seems to be coming over again. sigh...i feel like running away from my own room again...should i? tell me wat to do??? a new beginning my story to tell
monday 5 may just had my first paper, and it suxs...im so sad now. ah well, been gorging myself on amos cookies to cheer myself up, with compliments from my dear roomie, who finally came back after her week of absence. awww...isn't that sweet...*pun intended* chocolate really is the miracle drug for females...felt so much better and chirpy after it. =) well, let's see, im very happy during the weekends coz 1) my dear talented bro made 2 flashes and let me have the privilege of watching it. hmm..quite funny with a weird sense of humour i must say, with every bit of it screaming his name at me...its just so..him. haha.. 2)i finally found dreamweaver...whoo hoo, finally can start editing my blog without a care in the world...erm..so called. 3) on sunday met jo and ocm...oh mi gosh, i haven't seen them in so long. they haven't change much lah...for jo...other than her hair. had dinner with them and had fun doing and talking nonsensical stuff...its just like the good old days all over again. 4) today, after i gotten so sad after my exam, i received an unexpected pic msg from, guess who?? my erm..ex? haha...just feels so nice, a nice surprise brightening up my day after a horrible event... hee hee. joy & grief
saturday 3 may its raining again, as it has been these few days...cold, dreary wet weather. no sun, well at least not much that i could see. makes me ...lethargic, sleepy. not very good just b4 the exams. well, the day is drawing nearer finally. can't wait to finally get it over. and grab my comics asap...my hands are itching like mad to play a round of bridge or mahjong...heh heh. its been a long time since i've seen my pals, its time to ask them out and have gatherings...whoo hoo....its going to be a fun vacation, b4 im gonna get stuck in my rising up to year 2, and tt's where the roller coaster starts for professional attachment, final year proj and wat nots...its gonna be a very busy busy year for me...heh heh. ups and downs hold on tight...
friday 25 april almost a week has passed...mocha is going back tmr. i'll miss him, but i think its better for him to be home. otherwise he'll just keep trying to steal my food when im eating dinner, giving me a big headache instead of enjoying my food. its for the best. think i'll miss this room when i finally leaves it...which is just 3 more weeks away i think. aww...i spend almost a year in this room, it holds so much of my memories in NTU here. the worst thing is the moving back part, where we'll have to move EVERYTHING back. its not gonna be an easy task for any of us. esp me and my stupid PC. sad...ah well. a new chapter of my life will be starting soon in NTU. how exciting. =)) looking over imprinted memories...
tuesday 22 april finally came back to hall after a week of rest back at home ...dusty little place it has become. whoa, me and piglet cleaned out one whole pile dust at the end of our mini spring cleaning with mocha mewing int he back ground. he's back with us for a mini vacation too. its been almost 3 mths since he last touch this room...ah, all the memories came rushing back from the first day since we adopt him to the handsome creature he is now, even if he is a little chilipadi, we love him all the same. the time has come for me to recall the time when he did something EXTREMELY stupid. of all day he had to get lost, he had to get lost in the middle of a thunderstorm, and the worst thing was, when we found him, he was over in my neighbours yard, and did NOT KNOW HOW TO GET BACK!!!!!! he was just there mewing under some trees looking at me pitiously. all i could think was "u know how to get there, how come you dunno how to get back!!" then me and my sis, 2 poor little girls sharing a yellow umbrella, we went to that house and pressed the doorbell, yelping at every lightning and thunder. the owner was kind enough to let us in when a TERRIBLY LOUD THUNDER scared the hell out of me and my sis, and suddenly the whole house was in darkness. *think they must be cursing like hell for us to bring such back luck to them* it was SO COINCIDENTAL...anyway, when we found that ingrate, instead of being grateful, he struggle against my sis when thunder came, that scaredy cat...and that was the of our cat hunting adventure. all wet and muddy... =P thunder & lightning rain rain go away
thursday 10 april betta make use of the time to update my blog before my trial is up. tell u all something, think mocha got a lover of his own already. just to remind u all, he's my cat. goodness, he kept mooning at the gate, looking outside, looking all so lovesick and miserable. i even saw the cat. a similar looking cat with white and black patches, though my sis do comment that mocha has low taste, that cat was fat and ugly!! ah well, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder..what to do?? oh, and i saw a little grey kitten at the mrt station today!! goodness it was so damn cute. was very tempted to bring it along with me, but then thinking i already have mocha who could be a pain in the ass at times, think i shall spare it from mocha's potential jealousy and hostility!!!! soon, i'll have to start moving out from my lovely room...oh dear, such a big affair. i do rather like my room and the neighbours, hope i can get back the same room next sem. love is in the air when
harry met sally... tuesday 8 april how time flies. not as if i didn't wanna update my blog, but something unfortunate happened to my dear compie and i HAD to reformat it, hence therefore im using only the trial version of DW MX to do this little updating. which i'll no longer be able to once 30 days are up. how pathetic!!! groan anyway, this is the last week b4 study break starts and man oh man do i have a MOUNTAIN of things to catch up with. this doesn't sound good at all. anyway, im bursting with excitement, coz my dear uncle and his wife is finally going to have a baby!! oooh....kawaii neh?!! erm...doesn't sound so correct here but then, im still so excited, they are going to have it in november, just after my exams ended i think!! =)) we're going to have a baby...!! hahaha....*rabbuit hopping around in laughter* imagine, the baby is going to be exactly 20 years my junior!! goodness, even i can be his mother!! just got back some grades, some unexpected, some unsatisfactory! ah well, wat a bummer for those, spoil my mood for the whole day. what to do? as if i can argue with my tutor why im given these marks, later she deduct me somemore then i only have myself to blame! hahaha a new soul formed
fruit of love
saturday 22 march i feel so used...i feel soo...taken for granted if that is the right word for it. if you meant me to place it in the locker, why have me walk all the way to canteen A in the first place. i can't even find it in myself to be angry. its not worth it. it just further strengthens my desire to leave the cesspit as soon as possible. its sapping me of my energy, of my enthusiasm. why bother? why should i? im not sure i know the answer to that either. doesn't he know? he should...for he's in a worse case than i am...but how come he doesn't see it from my point of view? im just a tool to be used by him, an efficient one, one that he can order around and expected to do things at a snap of his fingers. sorry, im no genie of the bottle. if you want one, pls look for christina aguilera. fine, i said to myself as i continue with this bitching litany. not really, don't think i even have the energy to bitch anymore. this is just an outlet for the words in my brain. he won't even knows what hits him...hahaha. men, are they all like that? *sorry to the exceptions out there, but this is for the typical guys* never "thinking*????? no wonder their brains are worth so much, they are hardly used. any comments to that? disappointed is all i can say, and i shall end this entry just like that. taken for a ride disappearing
act?
tuesday 18 march this is the beginning of a sucky week with a sucky weekend for last week. im totally bogged down with work, and ppl around me are not sensitive to the pressure im faced with at all. i got humiliated for nothing, had to suffer long hours of waiting just to see other ppl cutting queue like anything. deadlines to meet from both sides. im being squeeze with no air for me to breathe. im having a headache, a throat ache and lack of sleep on top of that. how worse can it be right? who knows...im retreating back into my shell of skeptism, cynicism, and sarcasm, which i thought i've thrown them out a long long time ago...situation calls for it to be my armour, if not i don't think i can hang on further. thankgoodness for the ppl i do care around me...supporting me. if not, i might just shatter and refuse to pick up after myself..... wallowing killing me softly
monday 10 march hmm...back to school again! time really flies when we'r having fun, especially for this week since i had to stay back for make up lecture and hall DND. but surprise surprise, the DND was not bad at all, the food was superb, the MC was funny, the beauty contestants (erm..so so only) but then i had my eye candy up on stage so i guess that balanced out everything. we had lotsa fun commenting on everyone who's on stage. big butts, skinny frame, ugly walk...we've criticised them all....mwahahahaha.....*evil laughter from rabbuit* the happiest thing i've had from the DND is that my eye candy won the title of hall king. i knew it, he was the best there was with his calibre...cept for Q&A, he did pretty well for the rest of the category, and i got to drool at him in his suits, casual wear and beach wear...awww...*swoon, rabbuit floating up in the air* next, i got to tok to hj and jh too. not too long though, coz i needed to rush home to prepare for DND. quite interesting conversation, esp with hj. hmm...ah well. it is in the past. jh seems well, even got his own website. was quite impressed with the quality of works over there, although a bit dark, but quite thought provoking. he was always a deep one for thoughts. no wonder we're siblings...rather dark in our creations. can't help it i guess, darkness is more easily shaped into words than light i guess...=) high up there taste of victory!
wednesday 5 march im having monday blues although its wednesday already...this week suxs big time ....having last minute briefing and being ordered to do a briefing of the management com even though i'll be LATE!!!!!! hate him hate him hate him hate him....the man of all my misery. he suxs...... ok, im starting to sound like one of the pokemon characters ....as if that's all i can say bout him. but i shall stop for now....quiz coming up for tomorrow, that suxs too, coz i absolutely do not know how to study for it. somemore it's a closed book short answer quiz, die die die die....sigh. am i suffering or am i suffering...make up lecture this sat, prolonging my misery. geez...im being skeptical, pessimistic, antagonistic and cynical all at once, thought i'm past that already, guess not... ok, shall stop my bitching and try to get some studying done....=) my head's about to burst life
bites me in the ass
monday 24 february oops, didn't even knew i've skipped a week without writing...was just too stressed out already. 3 major proj to finish, and the never ending tutorial and the quizzes...enough to drive almost anyone normal mad i think. sigh..really torn between growing up and "growing younger" if that is ever possible...rather then caught in between this hellish limbo of paper work that concerns with your future. life is so unfair isn't it. oh, have a good news to announce, fz's hampster is alright now..whoo hoo! really thought his leg was probably broken and that he'll never have to walk for the rest of his life again. did i mention, he fell from the second storey to the first storey...*ouch that must have hurt* was so sad when i saw him limping bout till tears overwhelmed me. sigh..i am too emotional...i should be an empath, but then, think i'll die after experiencing everyone's sadness and despair to the extremes. going mad first before killing myself that is... its the one week break, and im already back in school again, for the ungodly concept of project...when will this vicious cycle ever end i wonder. its all too much...again and again... i'm turning around living in it
thursday 13 february so exciting, tmr's going to be Vday already. hahaha...well, it'll be exciting for mocha too! it'll be his 2nd visit to the vet for his 2nd vaccination....then will be going out with joyce for some beancurd....wat a simple way to spend V-day! =) tt's all, kinda tired, coz still got 8.30 class tmr love is in the air Valentine's of mine
wednesday 5 february yoz didn't get to update on monday coz i wasn't even around, got trapped at uncle mike's place for another new year gathering. oh, we celebrated aunt irene's birthday that day too....it was so cute, her hubby actually gave her a kiss on the side of her forehead, making her blush immediately, like a young giirl again. awwww....so sweet & spontaneous...wish my parents were like that. hee hee hee...=P ah well, let's see, i got to speak a couple of times more with my eyecandy, and even got to spoke to him. lucky!! and the other time when me and my roomie and j went out, with saw LOADS of cute ang mohs...and they were really all quite cute!!! lucky lucky, my eyes got to see such delicacy, they were drooling all night long. the other time in Ntu also got to see a back view of an angmoh. it was really really impressive. nice shoulders and back, nice sense of style, blond, hee hee...sigh. he's the epitome of a perfect male's back, masculine and strong. too bad i didn't get to see his face, but maybe it'll disappoint me so...better not. *grinz* today will be a long day for me, one biz law tut makeup, plus GE, plus morning lecture, plus meeting after everything....my day starts 8.30 in the morning to around 7/8 at night....almost 12 hours leh...wah liaoz....stressed out man. sigh, wat to do, some more i need to chair the meeting. sigh.............tt's life man....suxs. i screamed eating me out...
monday 27 january yoz the starting of a new week, and i am super excited...coz chinese new year is just round the corner, and the best thing is i got new ang pows to collect this year, from small uncle and his wife....woohoo, he FINALLY got married...hee hee hee. oh yeah, did i mention that i saw my eye candy last saturday b4 i left for home. so lucky!! hee hee, but the poor thing, his foot was all bandaged up and he was limping like anything looking for a seat. did talked to him a little, n i even laughed and teased him a little bout falling off a hill or something. actually, he just hurt himself while playing basketball. felt kinda bad for teasing and laughing at him a little, but i can't help it, he looked so funny limping all around. oh dear, there goes my chances with him...not as if im looking for anything in the first place...hahaha...he's just there to spice up the scenery around me. hee hee every move you make he's
all that...
monday 21 january yoz ppl, haven't been updating my blog for more than a month now...coz during dec hols was too busy with interhall games and trainings, and after school reopens, my computer just had to choose that moment to break down "into pieces" meaning i can't even see anything on the monitor other than "no signal" man...my heart really broke into pieces then...of all timing, it just had to wait till school reopens..... so poor little me had to survive a few weeks without my own computer. boy was it hell or what. i was sharing my roomie's comp with her, but still it was super unconvenient. now i know hostel ppl without computer is like hell for them. life is dead without a computer in hall. the only source of entertainment in hall. lotsa things happened in between, too many for me to state them down. happy, sad, angry & frustrated. i don't even really remember what happened. tt's why the memory is so fragile, so incomplete. all of these lost fragments of your life, it could be just lost forever, if no ones ever bring up those memories again. how sad... my roomie just played "Cats & kitty" with our cat. oh,i forgot to mention, i've now a kitty, shared with my roomie. his name is mocha and he's a BAD kitty. sigh...punctures my paper with his fangs, scratches me like anything...ah well. this is call karma or retribution i guess....hahaha... in pieces lost memories...
thursday 5 december been back in hall for another 4 days....needed to come back next week too...all for the sake of IHG and the points involved. sigh...tiring, really bone tired by now. a consecutive trainings of both volleyball followed by netball isn't THAT good for health. but it was still quite fun, other than volleyball using balls which are like metal balls....super hard, and damn painful. blood vessels burst again all over the place, sigh...went back to sec 1 state. it's a miracle im typing with this hands of mine now, after the extreme abuse they went through yesterday. damn...am i pissed or what...ppl have no concepts of punctuality. especially when it comes to receipts. they don't wanna their $$$ back is it? my heart constricts up till now...when it's the final day for receipts TODAY, and ppl still got the face to hand me receipts TODAY!! argh....feel like swearing....but shall keep my blog vulgarity free i guess....hahahah.... it stings like hell a pound of flesh...
thursday 21 november hello...here to tell all of you all my first clubbing experience. yes ppl, i ACTUALLY went clubbing. whoa...tt's some big news. went to zouk for the hall bash, at first it wasn't that fun, till piglet plied me with all the alcohols that we had...wah liaoz...after that can't even walk properly. but the dancing was fun then...with the alcohol working my limbs and making me lose control of EVERYTHING. i just didn't care who i bumped into..and i DID bump into alot of ppl...hahahhaa...*mad laughter* now i really do know why when ppl in the movies want ppl to talk, they make them drink, wow...was my tongue loosen or what?!! was talking non-stop all the way in the car...and they were laughing at me!! *indignant* im not drunk, just a little high, and the ground not being uneven that's all. no wonder they say, don't drink and drive, you can't even feel the ground properly....hahahhaha think that'll be my one and last trip. the only drink nice that we had was snowball, the rest with lots of vodka and long island tea sucks...the alcohol was burning down my throat with the ice when piglet dared me to finish the WHOLE BIG JUG of long island tea. geez....but i'm quite proud that i din't puke. =)) high on the feeling the night is still young...l
friday 15 november wow, didn't know i didn't update for so long. well, finally went home for a well deserved rest before coming back to hall for meetings and friends and outings....ah you know, the after-exams schedule for the first week or so....you know, i heard that some ppl are already starting on the subjects for the NEXT sememester...hahah....if that is not kiasu, i dunno what is!! whoo hoo, nutbrain will be back from dec 19...so cool. can ask her all about england and what nots...missed her and her sarcastic crapping...or whatever...its always good to see a dear friend back. okie, gotta go now, watching unfaithful with my neighbours on their comp. a little wish its all coming back to me now... thursday 31 october oooh...just a few more days before hell week is over. hoorah!! oh yah, my roomie and our neighbours will be celebrating their birthday soon. how much of a coincidence for us to each have a scorpio in our rooms?? hahaha....wow!! but will have a headache trying to think of what to buy for them...esp my roomie, also dunno what she want. feels almost like hols now...even though i haven't taken the last paper yet. =P hahaha intoxicated reaching
the finishing line friday 25 october this is the first day of hell...welcome to the starting of exam week. and thus i've taken the first paper of my life in NTU. geez...not a very nice beginning....reminds me of the days in JC. i never did finish all my papers in time in JC until A level came..oops tt doesn't sound very promising. will history repeat itself???...... in and out the neverending tale
wednesday 23 october this is it...2 days countdown before doomsday! AAAHHHH!!!!! another 1 and a half weeks more before im finally free. finally came back from my "holiday home" to hostel...faced with my impending doom. haven't been updating my blog..kinda feeling guilty bout it. but no choice, not much time left before everything that needs to be started starts, and soon i'll have to end all that needs to be ended...what am i talking bout here...im not too sure myself. i do have a tendency to blabber to myself when im alone. not a very optimistic comment on my mental wellbeing isn't it?? haha... a starting that needs neverending confusion sunday 6 october this is it...19 more days before my first trial arrive....AHHH...!!! my first exam since entering university. and im not prepared for anything yet...oh dear. no wonder of the seven deadly sins, the one i've committed is sloth...suits me like anything. =P it was a rather erm...funny and disappointing week?? funny because when we were supposedly doing proj, we got so bored that in the end we ended playing 13 cards with forfeit....A was so confident that he wouldn't get forfeited that in the end, we teamed up to make him lose. when A got forfeited, we made him do a pole dance, asking his next door neighbour to be the pole. it was simply hilarious...hahaha....i still laughed till my tummy hurts at the thought of it....=))) oh, got back the proj marks for both accounting projects already...one was ok while the other was rather disappointing...sigh. it was to be expected i guess, just didn't know he'll be so strict about it. well, too bad....still have another proj and presentation to go...sigh, when will this end...??? i wonder.... torn in half joy tainted with tears
friday
20 september hohoho...end of the week already. but im not going back this weekend, but so sad, my sis finally borrowed hunter X hunter vcd box 4. too bad lah, i'll have to watch during the hols... oh, i got somemore interesting things to say since monday...erm on wednesday, chris came and talk to me. woohoo....really unexpected bonus. he's so cute but he's an exchange student, so i guess i won't be seeing him around for long...hahah...then i saw W twice more this week. this is certainly my lucky week ....hahaha....=PP oh yeah...but something pissed me off though. my proj mate to specify the problem. he changed, suddenly, out of the blue, and caught all of us off guard...he became cold and arogant. or was he hiding behind his mr nice guy face all the time. was so pissed off by him that i actually used the f-word on him twice...geez. i shouldnt get so ruffled by him, like he's worthy enough to make me angry? u must be kidding...overall a very rollercoaster week. way up there its a wild ride to paradise...
monday 16 september wow..i actually skipped a week in between before updating my blog. goodness...can imagine how busy i was tt i forgot all about it till this week. but its ok, coz i have many interesting things happening today..hee hee hee... let's see, first of all....yeah!! i finished balancing my balance sheet for my proj (wat kind of a proj is that? ) anyway..but it was through the help of 1 of my classmate. he was being very nice by helping us look at it, even though it's not his proj, in the end he was still very helpful..though i did tease him bout it, and him being not self conscious of his self image. hahaha...twas so fun teasing him. next, i had to go for my ibg games...in the end we lost, i lost terribly, but never mind, im still very happy today, coz i got to talk to M today, and i got to play warm up with him somemore...hee hee hee...so happy. then during block supper after the games, i got to know that W got nominated for hall man hunt. cool....not bad...i got to talk with one of my eyecandy while the other one got nominated for manhunt. *giggle* heh heh.... oh yah, nisa also bought digital camera last week end...so cool right?
my gosh, soon can see her digital photos online already!! =) sweet talk like honey in
a puff of feathers
wednesday 4 september this is the middle of my 1 week holidays...AHHH...I only have half a week left. *rabbuit sobbing in one corner* time really flies, this is already my 8th week in hostel already...wow!! sigh, for this hols, i'm going to be super busy doing all my essays, meetings, movies and so on...*god, pls give me more time...and aniki jin??* hahaha...ok, im going mad over here already. must due to lack of sleep, plus a mountain of stress and too little time....it just absolutely makes me 'HIGH'...hahah*mad laughter from rabbuit* going netball then movie three later. hope it's nice, although i do have comments that only one out of the 3 story inside the show is nice...aww...*rabbuit seems disappointed* ah well.... oh, must say this now, the day before NISA'S 19TH BIRTHDAY! yoz nisa, *rabbuit takes in a deep breath* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTH..DAY TO YOU..., HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! *pls sing it with the birthday song tune* hahhaha...congrats, you're finally 19...hmm...isn't that old now!! hahahaha an annual celebration can you celebrate..?
tuesday 27 august oh my goodness...this is the longest since i've been in updating my blog. so sorry...can't help it, my computer was down for a week or more without my windows cd...geez. i was really "paralysed" without it...couldn't do anything with it. even worse than the beginning when i couldn't get online...this time i can't even do the basic functions. thankgod its alive and kicking now, as good as ever...this won't be a very long entry coz i still got a couple of quizzes to go tt seems to be a killer for us...*argh* its only my first year, and now comes the killer paper , in the form of mcq questions somemore...sigh. what do life wants...devour us all?? oh, nisa, happy today already lah! *wink wink* pain life as you see fit...
Sunday 11 august Wow…its been so long since I've updated my blog. How's everyone? I hoped everyone had a happy national day. Oops, forgot to say, happy birthday singapore. It was a long long weekend for me…*rabbuit grinning her head off* heh heh…coz I kinda didn't go to school on Saturday. I was already planning to skip already, especially since its kinda stupid for me to go back after coming back home. Hello…just the journey to and fro takes me bout 4 hours can, which is like 1/6th of a day. No way am I going to do that kinda thing….geez. no wonder im in accountancy..hahaha =P As usual, I went out with my 2 friend one after another. Ino-kun and piglet. My 2 very good friends. Spent national day with ino-kun…and guess who I met ? my previous sec 3 form teacher ...for the second time this year. Hhaha…our first meeting was kinda like romeo & Juliet…hee hee…we saw each other through a fish tank…or should I say piglet and I discovered her first. It was kinda funny …. She still thought I was in JC…my my, I think I should feel flattered. =) Ooh…my new computer is so fun to play with. *rabbuit hugging her computer* or do I just love new stuff…?? =P im starting to fall in love with darren hayes latest album...*rabbuit swooning* looking through insatiable...for you
monday 5 august new week at school. new experiences..(?) had a surprising long letter from pw. sigh, haven't seen her for so long. last time we used to be the silly duo, laughing like hell at the most inane thing possible. but i think it'll be hard to find that kinda friend here. not enough time to develop friendship that deep. everyone's so busy round here. ah well....maybe i'll give up on hostel after a year. as long as i can get here within an hour, it should be fine. in the email, pw asked me for gossip of mine, in ntu....coz i was famous rumour queen in jc. but sadly, i got none...just not the right environment for it. as i always say, it takes 2 to tango....=) in perfect rhythm strange relationship
wednesday 31 july heh heh...thursday tmr. in ntu tt means...union day! half day off....no lessons at all for me. hee hee hee....=) an unexpected day off since i usuallly have a 6 day week. totally cool bonus for me. let's see...oh, today was a day full of surprises. first of all christian turned up for tutorial again. 2nd news was he had a friend with him who looks rather cute too. * rabbuit drowning in eye-candy heaven* and for the first time, i've finally understood something from today's tutorial. finally....=) oh, and i've found out tt joyce's an indo-chinese. wow...she can be rather slow in understanding what we are talking bout when we are going too fast, but then she is just so cute in her many "huh?" *kawaii neh!* her parents are so strict tt it's a high probability tt she'll be matchmaked with someone of her parents choosing. the only reason they didnt' did it now is that she's too young. wat the... im not sure whether she'll just accept it or not? she just seem so meek now. but then as piglet put it "joyce now may not be joyce 2 years down the road" true, a person changes as time goes by, no matter how minute it is. they even have bodyguards when they go back to indonesia. wow!! but then, it's true that indonesia is still a little dangerous for indo-chinese now...no matter how long the riot has been, it will never be forgotten. im off to enjoy my off day tmr....yeah! =) what is love? love
commercialized
monday 29 july the starting of the week...nothing much, just wanna write something down. had a very nice chat with joyce today...it was the usual girls' talk but it's just so fun...or is it that im missing the joy of talking without reservations....=) i'm telling all my secrets to joyce...it was like opening a treasure box and looking at all my treasures and looking at them from a whole new point of view. it was a refreshing feeling for me. it was like taking them out and dusting them, seeing them as fond memories that made me up. the laughter and tears, the sweat and the blood that marked my life up until now...wow. watch friends too...so funny. im starting to love that series. hahaha... =))) dusty little treasure box opening the chatterbox
friday 26 july ho ho ho....happy friday.one more day and i'll be finally FREE...for the weekend i mean. oh, mum dropped by to give me some stuff yesterday. you should've seen what she bought. fruits by the dozen, cotten buds, and even toothpicks...although i dunno what does she mean by that. *rabbuit looking in the mirror at her teeth, picking at it with her new toothpicks* hahaha... oh some funny stuff happen these 2 days...let me try and recall. oh yeah, saw darren lim at jurong pt yesterday night. ppl were like crowding all over the place to catch a glimpse of him, not that he's much to look like anyway. i think he was hosting some game show where the contestant has to search for certain shops in jurong pt. hahaha...the name of the show was "wild wild west" i think. me and piglet went on a little shopping spree....for groceries that is. stock up enough to last us for half a month or so. it was A LOT of food....wow. oh....she also did a very...involuntarily funny thing...she was drinking bubble tea when she burped and cough out a "partially chewed" pearl onto the floor...i was looking at the floor all amazed, then i couldnt help it, i laughed till my face was all red. it was just so funny at tt time...=)) *rabbuit bowed over by laughter* there was this interesting guy in my class today. oh, to mention, the ratio was bout 2 guys to 15 gals...how pathetic. tt guy at first told us he's 19, born in '83, a malaysian...etc etc. then we asked him, "so u're a freshie lah" suddenly he said no....we were all taken aback by it. u can hear "huh??!!" all around. wah liao....nothing he said was true i think, he's definitely older than us, not even our course in the first place, think he's an engineer student or something....and come on, he's confirmed a native singaporean lor. i pity the other girl in our grp who's a malaysian and thought she found her country fellow. boy was she in for a surprise or what. but then he was easy to talk to lah, though i believe the girls absolutely refused to believe a single word he said after he pulled a fast one on us like this. it was...an interesting afternoon. "oh for that proj we did on dating agency, i wonder why we chose tt in the first place" hahahaha....=PP a deck of cards what lies are made of...?
thursday 25 july hmm...actually, i can't believe that i'll be doing this at an ungodly hour of 2.10am on a WEEKDAY some more. this is.....ahhh..i'll try to post this by tomorrow if i can. tadah, 3 more days and im free ...to go back to my "real" home that is. as for anything interesting...nothing much, in school. there is really nothing to look at here. but ah well, but yesterday morning was different. a hottie blond hunk came into my tutorial class after add/drop. but then, so sad, heard that he may wanna change it to a later slot as he wanna sleep in. ohhhh....nooo......worse news i've ever heard. since the guys to girls ratio is a pathetic 1:5. or something like that. gosh, i think i can go on and on about him. somemore he sat beside me during tutorial. so i was really really close to him. name's christian i think. so cool....even his shirt looks cool on him, although i have a nagging thought tt it'll look rediculous on anyone else. ah well....at least there was something to brighten up my day tt day. oh and another good news, piglet came by to sleep in today. it's so rare to get her to come over, since she always loses sleep over here. but then, we had lotsa fun today, just talking crap with our neighbours. it was so fun, just a casual gathering where there's food and drinks and chatting just bout anything under the sun, plus making fun of each other....=))) one of my happiest days here i think. oh, saw some continuation VCDs bout hunter x hunter...but still didn't get the ending. kinda irritating that it keeps hanging in the air. but it was cool, still love the series.still love the plot. it's only recently that i knew that the same author drew for both hunter x hunter and yu yu hakusho. i was like.....the styles totally different. but maybe as time goes by, style changes...for the better i hope! =) words like music i think, therefore i exist
monday 22 july well well well, this is certainly one of the fastest updates i've ever given. just that most of the ppl out there won't get to see all this new updates because i'm not connected online yet!! what the....this network card thing is driving me nuts. geez....i think i'll have to make another trip down tomorrow to take care of it again. as for now...i'm ALL ALONE in my room.great! nothing much for me to do other than household chores. so i've decided to update this little blog of mine. just spent quite a nice weekend at home...albeit a little tiring. went to college day at HCJC on sat. and i was almost late, no thanks to the computer since i was trying to fix it before i went there. we even went there by cab. then went playing pool with a few of my friends. it looks a little too much like double dating since we made up 2 couples. but actually, in our case, it was a night out with our ex-s....if that could be called. mine wasn't really...it was just an experiment. ah well, past is past. all of us are still good friends with each other. after that i went back home to good food and many many comics for me to read. *rabbuit floating in the air, nearing heaven high above* hahaha....really, i got to read bout 5 vol of kaikan phrase, 4 volumes of ....literally translating, true/false juliet. a few other vol misc titles. and it was like wow....i had to rush to read finish in order to resist the urge to bring them back to hostel. otherwise...NO work will be done at ALL. =) half-formed dreams another heaven
thursday 18 july hello ppl, this is the 3rd or 4th night im staying in my hostel. and yes, i've finally moved in and started school. =P to all my nus friends who are gloating on the fact that their term starts one week later. sorry i couldn't update earlier. cause im not connected to the cable in my room yet. yes yes yes...to all those envious wahs...out there. i think i can have cable in my room. problem is, i dunno how to put the network card into my computer. * rabbuit looks down in exasperation* i'm so close to getting online...d**n..hahaha ah well, had my first lecture already...or should i say first 2 lectures. it was...well vastly different compared to jc. cause we have to look everything up ourselves online on the ntu website. download tutorials and notes from there and print it out ourselves. seriously not much spoonfeeding at all...hmmm *rabbuit looks concentrated for now* i wonder if i can handle that. ah well...time will tell won't it? hahah=P tonight is the first night i'll be spending alone. piglet will be back tmr. she's having a very very serious case of home sickness and stomach virus. but it's not bad....i got to know my neighbours better. cause met her along the corridor outside her room eating orange. *dun ask me why she likes eating fruit outside, she just does.* met her and we started talking. then another pair of neighbours pop out from their room and we started chatting just like that. it was kinda fun. i could never do that....im not that ...how should i say ...erm...sociable i guess. thankgoodness they were initiative, i just went along with them. sigh, now im starting to feel how inadequate i am. not that im really socially impaired, just not that open. im really gonna suffer in uni. i just know it. but i still can manage. i hope. i wonder if anybody from my school will stumble upon this little blog of mine. probably it's too boring to catch their eye, not to mention wordy. hahaha....ah well. it's not my fault that i haven't learn how to put up links and pics right? er...?!! dun worry, i think i'll get an intensive course from nisa-chan given the chance. well , got another inspiration to put up. don't ask me why all my creations and works are so gloomy....i have no answer to that myself. i just write dark works better....*shrug* dun think i can come up with any sunshine cutie stuff....=) ah well....to all his own. silence all these years
friday 12 july yeah, it's finally the weekend and it's finally the last day of the exhibition for me. whoo...whee..!!! =)) too bad all those nice looking booths are gonna get torn down either today or tomorrow. actually, im typing this with a very VERY sleepy mind...dunno why im so tired. just because i packed my clothes. oh i forgot to tell u all. im gonna move to my hostel tomorrow. sigh. so much things to do, in so little time. im sure gonna miss home, but then, i guess i'll live. i really wonder how sugi-san and ryuchi-san managed to all these years. i bow my head to the 2 of them in respect. *rabbuit bowing to them* and a little interesting story along the way....as i was going home, a little girl in school uniform stop me. i could see she had been crying as she had rather red and wet eyes. the only thing i could decipher from her amidst her sobbing was "i wanna ...go bedok" i guess she lost her parents. so i helped her the best i could. ask her if she got E-Z link card, said she left at home, ask if she got cash to buy a mrt ticket, say no money. ask whether she wants to call home, she said her phone line got cut a while back...it was like the worst possible situation for a young girl to lose her parents with nothing on her to buy mrt tickets and absolutely no way of reaching her parents. i was rather shocked/skeptical bout the phone line got cut part....but then who am i to say anything. she's already crying her poor little pretty eyes out, alone and scared with nobody to help her. anybody with any kind of situations do exist in this world. anyway, i bought her a mrt ticket and told her to get down at the bedok station. since i'll be going in the same direction, i took with her, but i got down earlier than her... so i told her to remember to get down at bedok, which is just one stop after my stop. she said from there she knows how to get home on her own. i'd already helped her to the best of my ability, so i juz can get back home safe and sound. it was an interesting interlude as i helped someone who really really needed my help at that time. at least i managed to stop her tears from flowing and she managed to smile when she heard that she was gonna get home. =)) and that was all the reward i need, a smile from her. so easy, isnt' it?! a ray of sunlight stained with tears this is for dear nisa-chan if you can understand what i'm writing about. a little summary for hikaru no go vol.17 during his match with the cute guy who came back from china (gomen, forgot his jap name), hikaru "saw" sai in his own moves. and he cried...he wonder if he could go back to playing go. he made the decision and decide he wanted to play so much more go matches with the rest of the great players. he started going for his matches regularly...and when he saw akira, he told him that he will not give up playing go, and akira told him, catch up with me if you can. akira made it to the quarters for many of the competition. all the ppl round him all look up to him as the new rising star and that he'll lead in the uprising younger generation . some of the ppl who dunno hikaru look down on him as he kept missing his matches at first. but, the chief editor let them know that many of the famous go players are keeping an eye and having their attention on him, including the old geezer, touya megin, akira, megin's disciple and the round fellow. he even said that in terms of skill, he is on par with akira. and that the 2 of them will bring new waves to the go world. as for akira and hikaru, they finally had a chance to meet up in one of the matches. after hikaru has won 8 straight sets after coming back. as for akira, many players of much higher levels has already bowed their heads in defeat to him. he's moving up so much faster and steady compared to the rest of the older generation. oh yah, touya megin joined the china...erm..watever team. aiyah, just know that he'll get to play with other very good players over there. end of story. though this story did shocked japan at first.... back to akira & hikaru. their match finally came about and they finally faced each other at last, after their last match at secondary school level 2years 4months ago. both said they have improved in terms of skills. and so they played.....and akira noted the difference in hikaru. he seems to be able to see through his moves and played well. in a certain move, he saw "sai" in hikaru's move too. he was shocked. during break, he told hikaru of what he thought of him. of seeing sai in him. that he knew that he played with everything that he has and is contented. and he apologize for saying such strange things. and hikaru said that he might let him know what is really happening some day in the future. hahah...and akira got so agitated bout what is really going on. result of that match. hikaru lost....but he knew that akira finally saw him as his opponent already...a lifelong opponent. and that he's happy that he saw sai as himself. he really saw sai. and with that it's a whole new day at school for akira.
saturday 6 july AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.............!!!!!!!!!!!!! *rabbuit going mad hopping all over the place* ok, now i feel so much better. felt like a pressure cooker about to explode with all the pressure from work, moving to hostel and bout school starting. as they say, so many things to do, yet so little time. stress stress stress....*rabbuit eerily chanting it like a mantra* was listening to linkin park's one step closer and it REALLY fit my mood then..... everything u say to me a little room to breathe
friday 5 july whoopee...will be going to finish up whatever needs to be finish for the hostel proceedures, collect the keys and i'll be the proud owner of my own hostel room already! but then, looking at my schedule...it seems as if i won't be able to find the time to move in till the LAST TWO days before school reopens. unless i move at night. eeks! and still got outing to arrange somemore. sigh...busy busy life so how's everybody?! if rudolph sees this, did u receive my little note? and for inoran, erm...somehow i think i've made the image above even worse! hahaha ...*rabbuit smiling sheepishly* is it very ugly? i hope not...and how's school life/working life for u? hope you're still hanging cool... =) burrows to be found
thursday 4 july well well, a week has passed since my last entry...and hi, i finally came back from tioman island. actually i was back since tuesday, but since i was down writhing on bed in agony while running to the toilet all the time *i deduced i got either a) stomach flu or b) minor food poisoning* it was terrible....it almost made me regret my trip to tioman. not the word almost... ah well, my trip to tioman was satisfying enough for me but not really for piglet. she wanted the sun, yet the 2nd day was one cloudy rainy day. too bad lah. the first day was rather normal, enjoy the swimming pool, a little suntan *boy was it hot, rabbuit sweating* and a wonderful dinner at the village tekek. it was nice. and i had my first try at riding the motorcycle...as the passenger of course. it was so cool....better than a bicycle, with the wind whipping my hair back. wow! the 2nd day was the erm...well fun and not so fun day. we paid for a snorkelling package which include trip to a waterfall and 3places for snorkelling. but as i said, it was a cloudy, rainy, and windy day all rolled into one. the waves was rather large...so our ride was rather bumpy. actually bumpy is too gentle a word here to use. it was horrible....our speedboat will go up in the air, and come crashing straight down into the water. *ouch ouch and more ouches from rabbuit* try that yourself lah....the impact when the speedboad landed almost = the impact when our butt landed on our seats. i think probably my whole butt is a mass of black and blue....*rabbuit checking her purple fanny for a while* sigh. we went snorkelling first. nothing much to see cause the water was too deep for the corals to be properly formed. but there's still some...and saw a few fishes....oh. did i forgot to mention, we went looking at stars the 1st night and that was one of the most beautiful sight i saw....stars adorning the entire midnight black sky. there were just so many of them that i just lost count...unlike singapore where u usually just don't get to see that many to require 2 hands. piglet even said she say a meteor....i didn't see it....but back to the 2nd day, i saw it in the water. i saw hundreds of tiny little silver fishes swimming in shoals all around me. in one direction, unless i came near, then they'll be all over the place. the few rays of sunlight shone upon them, make light glint off their shiny side, to me, they are the most beautiful "meteor rain" i could ever seen. it was wow....an undescribable feeling. then we went to the waterfall, which was a magnificent piece of work by mother nature. it was just white fury in torrents....rushing down the rocks. our guide made us go under the waterfall...which i became the first guinea pig and experienced first hand the force of mother nature on us. it was wow....i feel so...awed to be there. feeling the waters trying to wash me down. actually, frightening to say, i nearly died twice on the waterfall, cause i nearly slipped down twice on the slippery rocks as i was clambering up the waterfall....i really panicked and i trying my best just to get a foot hold, my scrapped knees can be testament to it. my heart nearly stopped. well one of my group ppl, really fell into the water near the bottom....as piglet said, he really thought he was going to die. u can see the fear of death of his face as his eyes widden and his whole being tremble with the thought of dying. thankgoodness our guide pulled him up in time. *shivers in fear myself...* and we keep climbing ...and climbing. we were almost nearly at the top when we stop. and i felt so proud of myself for coming this far. the view was awesome...just simply. i felt so small when faced with it. but then it was the climbing down part which had me heistated. but the guide help us down. actually, i was being pampered on that trip cause the guide held my hand all the was as i was climbing down. *cause i think i was the most clumsy one of them all* hahaha well....we'll skip the second snorkelling place, except that someone got sea sick and puke into the SEA!*rabbuit groaning in disgust* while WE ARE IN THE SEA SNORKELLING, and that halfway through piglet need the toilet desperately. but we actually continued snorkelling.... and when our guide said there's one more place to snorkel...she didnt' want to since she needs to shit desperately, and she went to that place snorkelling before. i nickname our last snorkelling stop "brocolli island" hahaha....cause it looks just like a brocolli to me..but it was the most beautiful coral place of all...cause it was very shallow, enough for sunlight to reach the shallow sea floor. the corals there were very beautiful and colourful and large. most of all....there were so MANY fishes *rabbuit holding out worms saying"here fishy fishy fishy* there were ALL OVER THE PLACE. they were so colourful, all shapes and sizes. i saw PARROT fish feeding off coral....i saw fish in dark maroon, in bright blue, in colourful zebra stripes. i have never been so close to that many marine lifeforms. it was wow wow and wow. i wanted to touch them, but i found out that if i just float quiety enough they'll let me come near enough to see them just outside my mask. yes that close... but it ended soon enough. cause the rain was starting and we had to go back....sort of ending our second day...before embarking on my bedridden diseased 3rd day....as we came back home. ah well.. oh, july the fourth today? should be america's national day...happy celebrations. =) stars beneath the sea
thursday 27 june whoopee ... a few days more before i really go and enjoy my holiday. 2 full days of sun, sand, sea and snorkling on tioman. i hope it'll be fun. just met up with yanwen and xintian today. gosh, havent' saw them for such a long time, but they still look relatively the same. had dinner together before settling down for some chitchat with them. it was so fun, just a relaxing girls' talk session. plus some teasing from me to sweet pumpkin pie and tadah....almost like an aunt aggie q & a session too. but ah well....girls will be girls. * giggle* saw a few mins of germany vs korea of worldcup semis repeated on mobile tv. twas quite fun to watch, though i know nuts bout football. but pumpkin pie loves it, her idol is gary neville....if anyone out there knows bout him. he's rather low profile. back to the topic, i din't know korea was that good until i saw that match. though obviously they lost in the end, but it was a match to be proud of. reached home before 11pm....but was called by my mother twice. now im really wondering whether im 19, somehow she still treats my like 9. probably coz im a girl....but still irritating. twas a full moon out there tonight, full and bright. im kinda feeling poetic right now, might try to write something...if it's not good, u also can't blame me for trying right?! hahaha in the sea of darkness ok....this is kinda crappy....but this is the best i can come up with within 5 mins...hahahaha.... bewitched by the full moon
monday 24 june yoz im finally back in singapore once again. *rabbuit kisses floor beneath in relief* im am so so glad to be back where there are tecnology around me for once, coz i was kinda trapped in a "rural nightmare" (?/!) for 3d2n in malaysia. there was kinda almost absolutely NOTHING to do, cept eating and sleeping. thankgoodness there was some kids to entertain us with their antics. esp one of them....she was so cute. she's just 3 but she look so much older than that. at first she was like shy shy, and kept hiding behind her mum's butt and refused to look at us, but once she's warmed up enough, whoa, is she a holy terror or what. she'll screamed for us to play with her(and she makes a whole load of noise too!) she kept saying the *rabbuit starts to pull her hair already* neh nanny poo poo, you cannot catch me....thingy. but she was just so cute.... a devily in angel's guise. with absolutely pinchable cheeks and cute litte round tummy. everyone loves her....albeit a little too much i think. she got her mummy wrapped round her little finger. ah well, went with my sis, and her friend and my aunt. the 3 of us was quite a funny sight. since we were really acting like city kids seeing swings for the first time. there were some swings so we swung like crazy for those few days....it was so cool.the sky so blue over our heads as we flew from ground straight up to heaven, plus a few shrieks from us when we felt as if we were going to fly straight out of the swing....to end this, we were just hoarding the swings and making hell lot of noise. did i mentioned in the rural areas, the population of flies are overwhelming the population of the locals over there. it was so....terrible, i can almost still see them all over the place. on top of vege, on the ground, in swarms if i might add. on food too, so those of us who refused to have diarrhea the next day would be trying our best to wave the flies away while trying to eat at the same time...hahahaha...=P Lord of The Flies
friday 14 june well well, today if FINALLY the last day of work for me. whoopee! though i do feel a little guilty dumping my aunt the rest of my work, but i really do need to get out of that place already. enough is enough. it is so boring... visited piglet at our previous working place too. was quite surprise that the boss of the place still remembers my face (it HAS been a few months since i went back to that place) talked for a while, him giving his generous advices to naive teenagers like me....goodness he thought i was consuming alcohol at the bar when i was juz drinking ice tea, complimentary of piglet. hahah....his chinese cannot make it one. told me in chinese not to drink and smoke, but can "anyhow love" which he was trying to say 'fall in love" but the meaning came out all wrong. hahaha...had a good laugh at that one....as if i'll be so promiscuous...=P a bit miffed that he thought i had alcoholic drinks at the bar already....come on, im such a goody two shoes, so how could i do such a thing. tsk tsk tsk....jeffrey, shame on u...hahahaha...=)
saturday 8 june ho ho ho... it has indeed been an eventful week for me. many things happened so fast that i almost couldnt keep up with it. first of all...yeah! the letter of anticipation has finally arrived for all those awaiting to go uni. personally, i'm going to ntu for accountancy. finally i can put my anxiety to rest after all these months. *victory sign to kat, cecil and nisa* hmmm...i wonder if you all find it weird that im going into accountancy. i know nisa will be there saying why didn't i go for design in the first place and all that stuff....*shrug* but then, hope u all will still be happy for me kay? *grinz...=))* next, i'll have to prepare all the neccessary stuff to go uni. sigh, thought could escape from paper work from work for a while when this came in. i'll be living in hostel i guess.... =) yeah, a whole new chapter in my life will begin real soon. so exciting. wonder who i'll get to meet over there. juz msg my class bro today. found out that he went for an operation and will probably be going for a 2nd one .... (for those who dunno what happened, dun worry, it's tt his ankle is giving him problems) was a little shocked but i kinda expected it with his daredevil antics. maybe he's mellowed a little during ns...i hope =) wish him good luck here with all my heart, coz i know he'll need it. and wish u'll be hopping and jumping round like the little brother i know soon. A wHolE neW WorlD!
sunday 2 june *yawn* man, i still wanna sleep... well, today was a dangergous day for my fingers, or should i say my poor nails *petting my precious nails* just nearly killed them when i was opening a cardboard box juz a little too roughly, one of then was even bent inside out at the edge. it was a major OUCH!!!! tt hurts, but i still had to bend it back. *erm....i guess that hurt even more* OUCH OUCH OUCH AND MORE OUCHES....!!! then today, i juz had to be a busybody and get my hands on my sis new guitar! *oh she just joined the guitar club at her schoo* she said that ppl with long nails play the guitar easier. i juz didnt' know how torturing it was to fingers just by pressing down on the strings itself. *erm...no offence to nisa there, just my comments on learning guitar, u should know it IS quite hard on the fingers!* hahahha... nails on the blackboard saturday 1 june i have absolutely NO life nowadays! help?!! can still see my work in front of my eyes even at home, on a weekend somemore....great, i'm becoming a workaholic against my will. must go shopping in the great singapore sale soon to release stress. i feel like a pressure cooker at its limits already. ARGH......*rabbuit pulling at her hair and checking her mirror for wrinkles* i have AGED.....NOOOO!!!!....=O
Tuesday 28 may Well, the weekend flies by yet again. had fun meeting up with my friends and exchanging birthday presents, some of which are way long overdue. really gotta say sorry to them. it's so relaxing juz to plop down in front of the tv with a bunch of friends and juz slack. and eat and eat and eat....well, it was really a day of sin - sloth and greed?? hahahaha....=P well, we were really slacking, so much so that when we had to get up this morning (oh, i might add that we had a slumber party *grinz*) we were all lazing around and lengthening the snooze time, even though some of us do have to work on monday. hahaha...it was hilarious trying to get jean to wake up. we tried everything from poking her in the ribs to flipping over the blankets and expose her to the cool morning (air conditioned?) air. hahaha....all she did was whine and try and get the blankets back before burrowing deeper into it. =) so cute! ah, for more info on mr muraki above. he IS the archenemy of the shinigamis, esp that of tsuzuki, the shinigami with violet orbs as eyes. well....the relationship among the 2 of them are rather complicated with some yaoi hintsi guess, *for all those yaoi fans who haven't tried this before, this is an intro if you all wanna try it. dear mr muraki above is also a doctor. who has more kills on his hands then patients being saved by him. so ironical. he's full of paradoxes tt it intrigues me. even his appearance makes him mysterious....a silver white angel with skin as pale as the moon, hair of silver white silken threads, and eyes of silver mercury, yet with his hands stain full of red red blood that contrasts so well with his pale colouring.....erm...i'm getting a little too much over here. will stop now, write more tomorrow perhaps? =) in the blink of an eye
Sunday 26 may Yeah!! my blog is NOW officially open. All thanks to Nisa. *rabbuit gives nisa a great big teddy bear hug* awww.... thankyou thankyou and more thankyou. hey kat, saw ur msg already. thanks. home u saw my msg over at ur side too....hee hee hee *grinz* Well, today was one TIRING DAY!! believe me when i said that. Coz i was made to do volunteer work by my mom today which involves me working up at an unearthly hour of 6AM IN THE MORINING BEFORE A PUBLIC HOLIDAY......argh. sorry, usually im not that worked up.. ppl who lack sleep usually tends to be...erm?? grumpy? *hahahahah..=P* but it was all for a good cause. so i dont' mind. it's a vesak day celebration at expo, with mr goh chok tong as guest-of-honour. didn't get to see him much though coz i was real busy taking care of my wards. all sorts of guests was there, from the normal VIPs....to the less fortunate of the visually handicapped, the spastic children, to the elderly. such a vast difference between each and everyone of us over there. yet we managed to gather together under one roof, i guess it's fated for us to meet. when i was helping with the elderly up the buses, my heart really felt torned when i felt how thin they were. some of them were so skinny that they were only a bag of bones. or some others who had a limb or two amputated who could only moved around in their wheelchairs. i felt so...it's hard to describe those feelings, but it overwhelmed me. really it did. so here, i must tell those who is reading this right now, cherish urself and the very fact if u are born healthy with all ur limbs. for those who did not, don't despair, coz others who are like u, are bravely facing and challenging life ahead. tt's all for now....*yawn* im getting tired. still have TWO gatherings tomorrow which starts in the morning. *groan* not morning again! don't i ever get to sleep in on weekends? sigh...*hahaha...* PS: oops i forgot to talk more bout myself or the object of my drooling this time round. next round perhaps...=) fate + nirvana =....
Saturday 25 May hello? hi to all the ppl out there who happened to drop by this place. Juz so called finish this rough draft of a blog, done by my good friend who insist on me having one. tadah, she is the one and only nisa, aka kakyou online i guess. or is it juz one of her nicks.. well, will have to say hi to all those who knows me personally too. hi kat, and rudolph, if you 2 ever pop in. must be becoz nisa prompted the 2 of you to come and "pay" me a visit. we juz spend the later half of her day at her house doing this. gosh, i was so bedazzled by everything she does. i know nuts bout these things. but then i was quite impress with the results, just look above. hahaha.... =) hmm...should i do a self intro first or should i intro the handsome man on top first?? *torn in indecision* ah...maybe i should shroud myself in a little mystery first. the gentleman above is the one and only muraki kazutaka from the anime/manga yami no matsuei. gosh, he's so cute...*rabbuit drooling all over the place* he's the BAD BAD guy in the anime but still i love him. *trying to talk and wipe up the drool mess at the same time* he's such a enigma that it makes you wanna know more and everything there is to him. but i'll leave something for you all to know next time round. signing off for this time round. *grin* for those who want to know me more, pls wait till the next round of announcement on this blog. *giggle* =)
|
name: fion @ rabbuit
age: unknown
(but still young)
zodiac: taurus
hobbies: reading mangas, watching
animes, playing online games, updating blogs, eating, and
sleeping too!
Lunatix
[ J ] [Shinya]
[Ino] [Sugi]
[Ryu]
scribbles of mine
love that hurts
love?
and overwhelming pain
taking
with violence
you take away my love
and inflict me with pain
are you happy now?
taking me for granted
are you satisfied now?
treating me like a slave
each word you say
humiliating me
degrading me
hurting me
cutting me
leaving me to bleed
all alone
with my nightmares
and my tears
you keep pushing
and i keep backing away
there is no more way back
is there going to be another push
for me?
to drop into the abyss of misery
leaving me broken
leaving me in pieces
i cannot take it anymore
i'm about to break
stop toying with me
i am not your toy
start listening to me
i have something to say
i love you
if you love me back
please say you do
if you don't
please let me go
but i can't ever let you go
so what am i supposed to do?
dedicated to a couple of friends of mine who can't see that they
are hurting each other
again
he did it again
he promised
he won't do it again
but he broke his promise
yet again
i'm so sick of his pleas for forgiveness
empty promises
that is broken in the end again
trust
that disintegrates with every empty promise made
tears
that flow with every plea of forgiveness
again and again
i don't want another again
another hurtful again
another meaningless again
he won't be able to do it again
cause
i would not give him the chance to plead for forgiveness
again
i would not give him the opportunity to make another empty promise
again ...
ghost
i tried to forget you
bury you in my past
but you came back
ghost of my memories
haunting me
taunting me
leaving me no peace
of the mind
of the heart
don't you know?
you are unwanted
don't you know?
you are no longer part of my life
as i tried to leave you behind
turning my back upon you
as i continue my way
i no longer
want to have anything
to do with you
lead your own life
and leave me alone
do not taint
what sweet memories
i have left of you
do not poison
what love i have
left of you
stay dead
stay buried
in my heart
in my past
in my memories ...
mirror
slivers of moonlight
reflected upon
the shattered remains of the mirror
that i once
saw you through with
now it lays
upon the groung
no longer whole
no longer perfect
i look into the
broken shards
everything distorted
everything in pieces
i tried to piece you together
with bleeding hands
with torn fingers
painting the fragments
with my tears
with my blood
neverending pain
from outhside and from within
i cried for you
and for myself
till i ran out of tears
yet the ache remains
as if a fragment of you
got embedded
within my eye
within my heart
a constant reminder
of what i had
before i lost you
bumblebee
buzzing around
on a hot summer's day
busy as ever
always on the move
it never stops
bringing joy to summer
as flowers blossom
to welcome its visit
as i stood by watching
the little bumblebee
from my little
glass enclosure
so near
yet so far
as i tried to reach out
for the little bumblebee
and touched nothing
but the cold barrier between us
so sad
i wish i could join it
outside in the sun
enjoying the heat
& the aroma
of another summer's day
before it all fades away...
drowning
this is it i guess
the last straw
for both of us
at least for me
perhaps
i'm just a drowning man
clutching at straws
but i gave up
and drowned
looking at you
from beneath
the cold dark waters
engulfing me
as i sank further below
your image blurring as water got into my eyes
my lungs burned
starved of oxygen
as i continue to drown
but you never did
came back for me
so cold
i no longer feel
the warmth of our friendship
so miserable
without the laughter
we used to share
so alone
as i continue my journey downwards
with only darkness
as my companion
so tired
i closed my eyes
as i continue to drown
without you
circle-square
i'm a circle
trying to fit into a square
trying so very hard
when i don't belong
i tried and i tried
all sort of ways
all sort of angles
but i just can't
fit where i should
or should i say
think i should
i feel so unbelonged
so unwanted
i feel like a miserable wretch
with tears veiling my face
lubricating my way
fitting me in with sadness
maybe i should leave
and find a circle
instead of a square
to find my kind
instead of finding hurt and difference
who can accept me as i am
and not
who i am trying to be
because that is not me
and will never be me
sub-zeroo
howling white
everywhere
forsaken land
abandoned
at the mercy
of the bitter winters
bleakness
stretching for miles
cold, seeping in
deep into my bones
so alone
so cold
so miserable
i feel so naked
vulnerable
devoid of warmth
i feel so numb
i trudged on
against the screaming fury
a barrage of stinging ice
and cutting wind
no shelter
no escape
suddenly
i hear nothing
the silence deafening
my ears
left behind
in my footsteps
vision diminishing
as my eyes
ice up in their sockets
just when i saw
hope at the otherside
of the horizon
just out of reach
so tired
so scared
i can only go so far
as i lost that final vision
and surrender
into the cold embrace
of my world
curling upon myself
i wish someone would find me
tears of helplessness
fell from my sightless eyes
into icy fears
i tried to cry
but no sound came
as my heart slows
and my breathing fades
i still wish
for someone
to find me
amongst these blanket of snow...
end play
its'
time to end
a full stop to everything
to let it go
to let it free
an ending for every beginning
i fell silent
watching her go
it couldn't be helped
but i cried
so bitterly
but it was for the better
we knew
it was inevitable
no use clinging on
no use denying it
it was there for us to see
for us to know
for us to acknowledge
the music has grown silent
the theatre emptied
the play has ended
and the stage awaits
among the dimmed limelights
for a new show to begin
bloody red crescentsbloody red crescents
scent of a promise sweetness of a scent lingering teasing the edges of my memory invoking non-existent vague questions from nowhere a touch of a recognition gone before it ever registered its presence a flirt with its disappearing act elusive, enigma with a past a fragrance with a tale to tell of its own binding its audience with its own little spell of unspoken promises
a pawn
that is all i am
in your eyes
bound
to this game of yours
unable to escape
unable to run
trapped in
your twisted mind
sucked under
your putrid thoughts
with no defense
against you
and your foolish games
every step i take
is not of my own
every move i took
was never meant by me
i would never be free
for i've forgotten how to run
i would always be yours
for i couldn't remember myself
under your watchful eyes
i was but a pawn
i mean nothing to you
just a strategic pawn
just an amusing toy
for you
to use
to play
to destroy
leaving me broken
leaving me shattered
leaving me...
CHESS
PAWNS
a new soul formed
a new life found
a new babe borned
a new laughter sound
a new bond formed
a new love found
a new emotion emerged
a new life now
a new destiny created
a new fate formed
a new person again
a new cycle formed
renew
curled upon
myself
i lay
among the warmth
of the silence
i fell
through the calm
of the isolation
into myself
thinking nothing else
to recuperate
from what life has dealt me
to be reborn
from my past
to heal
from my sorrow
let me rest
for i am tired
left with no strength
to deal with what is inevitable
just let me escape
just for a little while
let me breathe
of fresh hope again
i want to
i need to
if not....what else is there to waking up?
Sleeping
beauty
midnight serenade
of feathers floating down
music of the night
concerto of the senses
contrast of pitches
pure snowy feathers
against midnight black of the night
balancing of tones
between feather light
and the heaviness of the night
a musical sighting
a symphony imagined
till the last of the feathers
fell to the ground
marking the end of the finale
of the this midnight concert
MIDNIGHT SYMPHONY
walking in
the rain
beating upon me
the torrent of fury
silver bullets
so sharp and piercing
i walked on
blending into
the whirlwind of droplets
so salty
how could it be?
the greying clouds
crowning my head
the rushing gale
cloaking me
i cut through
through the rain
through my thoughts
letting myself feel
nothing
but nature's act around me
embracing it so intimately
that it hurts
but i refused to let go
for i wished
for it to never end
encircling rain
something
that seems so strong and alive apparently proved otherwise
yet one that is superficial on the surface may perform better...
ironic it may seem but hope hides in a corner
blind to it
obscured desire to grab
disappointment in return
please pause to understand
to realise
to remember
hope that is seen is not hope
i wake up to a new day
time ticks away
at some point, tears seem to overwhelm my heart, not my eyes
why?
i rather the windows to my soul be the doors of my heart
its flooding inside yet dry on the outside
when a tear drops, will it be one of happiness or sorrow?
i want it to be the former
it have to...
i want to grow up strong
i have to despite its difficult
im tired
yet i want to move on
giving up will not be the final solution
run
run to the wish of my heart
i live for my own
emotions will not control me
i refuse
silly i may seem
crazy i will act
i want to be accepted for whom i am
take it or leave it
my life is mine
i may not give u what u want
but know that at least i will try...=)
Dark 2 Dawn
(by guest author: )
i feel so
helpless
looking at the two of them
both so dear to me
and yet it hurts to see them so
ensnared by their trap
that they helped to make
struggling without knowing
they hurt themselves
trying to get out
shredding what they have
eating away at them
each sinking further in
with every step
with every gesture
i have no answers
as to how they'll turn out
i want so much to help them
but i do not have solutions
i can only be the audience
to this ironical mockery
to this tragical uncertainty
if they allow me to
i can only be a listener
to their cries of pleas
to their moanings of their pain
if they wants me to
i shall be here
looking on
for them
as well as
for me
helpless
running
i keep on running
away
from us
or what is left of it
i'm so tired
i'm so strained
pulled by both sides
i'm breaking
into two
so torned
i can speak no more
coz i know not what to speak of
you should know
but you don't
and that's what hurts me the most
i'm dismayed
by how things had turned out
but i'm even more disappointed
in what you speak of
in what you think of me
is this what i am to you?
running to me
when you need me
leaving me to myself
when you don't
i'm exhausted by the running
i have no more energy to run
but i cannot stop
for i know not what to do
other than running
in motion
not stopping
for i fear i'll no longer be sane
when i do stop
fears regarding you and i
keeping me going
further and furhter away
but do you sense my leaving
i'm afraid not
trapped in your own world that you are
blinded by your own reflection
blinded by your own selfishness
i'm silent to you
but do you hear my screams
i'm calm when i'm facing you
but do you feel my tears
i still have nothing to say
but do you?
i'm still waiting for your reply
ANSWERS
Story from within...
Do you believe in destiny?
That every single living thing has its destiny mapped out right before their very eyes just before they came into existence. Before it disintegrate into millions of pieces seeming to disappear before us. Making us forget all about its presence, making it seem like a dream.
The truth is, the fragments of our destiny are actually embedded deep within our subconscious, triggering us to make decisions at the right moment that will follow the path of their destiny. Little mechanisms, working non-stop throughout the entire life of a living thing, right to the point its death.
Destiny, in actual fact, is a very intricate matter… It is like the silken threads of a spider web, that had, all of us entangled in it, unable to escape. It stretches in all directions, leaving us nowhere to run. If we tried to break through it, the tremors from our struggle will travel along those very threads, sending messages to the very one who has made the web and trapped us there. It will then seek and destroy the deviant.
The story began a long time ago, when myths and legend were still living among men. Gods and demons alike were still in contact with the people…by that time; people knew that destiny is something that nobody dares to go against. It was a known fact that could never be overthrown, that nobody can re-write his or her own destiny, until he came.
He was the special one. Everyone around him knew that. They could sense it around him. He was the only one till now that was able to remember what his own destiny looked like before it shatters into the million pieces that it became. For he was able to see the bits and pieces that was lodged within him and he collected them, bit by bit, over the years before piecing them up. He was finally able to see the final picture. He saw how his whole life would proceed on, and with that awakening, suddenly he could see the others' destinies too.
The sights he saw within him tormented him. He could not take it any longer. He wanted to change things. He wanted to rewrite destiny. But his destiny, was entwined with dozens of others' destinies, if he tried to rewrite his own, it will affect them too. Yet he still wanted to do it, find the origin of all destinies and destroy it so that we may have a chance to control our future, so that we may be set free. But freedom comes at a terrible price, and unleashes the terror and wrath from the one who designated our destinies… Is he willing to pay the price?
Forbidden fruit of freedom, never seemed so sweet as of now. The apple of Eden pales by comparison to it.It takes no snake of Eden to awake the desire within him...He wants to do it. Undo things. Change things and see how things might be, even if he is thrown into the purgatory of chaos, he will do it. Whether mankind continues into the future with his tampering with their fates, he does not care anymore. He is feverish with the power and desire, corrupted as he is with his foolish ideals and courage.
He tried to hold on, but the threads were unraveling right before his very eyes. He tried to change his fate, but it stepped right past him, refusing to be touched upon by such mundane hands. He failed, and he had to pay the price. The people he loved around him, fell one by one, as his attempt to tamper with the tapestry of destiny backfired. He lost everyone his fate was entwined with, slowly, painfully...till he was isolated, till he lost his mind...and that was how he lived out his final destiny, right to the end...
It
hurts so much
to see him trying
without knowing
struggling with life as it is
crippled in a single limb
losing so much blood
that i thought i'll lose him
to see him acting per as normal
without him being normal ever again
it tores my heart to see him so
and it's all my fault
my carelessness
that led to such an outcome
i prayed for him
with all my might
hoping to atone for my sins
trying to wash away my guilt
to bring him back to me
for his forgiveness if he is willing
for his recovery if he is able
but he says nothing
for he is silent in his reproach
or is it he has nothing more to say
to the one who
made it his destiny
to limp for the rest of his life
how i wish i could take his pain
from his tiny little body
how i wish i could take my limb
and give it to him
but i couldn't
and he can only suffer the consequences
of my terrible mistake
and i can only bear the guilt of mine alone
forever
remorse
Running
away
hiding behind
refusing to look at
the other side of me
looking through
but not seeing me
even though i'm just
a step away
you refused
to step through the treshhold
which leads you to my world
you can lie
to yourself
refusing to acknowledge the truth
how cruel you were
pretending something that i'm not
a beautiful facade
that was your reality
that was never the truth
i've waited
for you
i've pleaded
with you
but you let things go on
and on, and on...
till the day you left me
you still didn't see me
making my whole life
a non-existence....
another me
walking
through the frigid air
of gaseous ice
numbing my limbs
freezing my breath
drowining in coldness
unbearable
the quietness, deafening
the silence, overwhelming
leaving me
shrouding me
in its encroaching move
to surround me
in its cloak of isolation
cutting me off
from any connection
to any helping hands
that could pull me out
any listening ears
that could hear my despair
any watching eyes
to see me crying
and the tears that froze
into crystaline ice
shattering into a thousand shards
as it fell from my eyes
and fell into the neverending abyss ...
liquid ice
taking
you away
taking you with me
into my arms
into my heart
into my dreams
a million miles away
under a clear midnight skies
adorn with shimerring celestial dust
dipping into the pond full of stars
which lays just at our feet
i could only dream
that this sleep
will last for all eternity long
a pond of stars
drifting apart
you & I
like two wooden boats
on separate currents
further and further
we float away
with an ocean in between
i can't find an oar
you can't too
there's nothing we can do
to reach back
to find each other again
soon, there's nothing left
except for the sunlight
glinting off the surface
of the liquified emotion
that divided us
the shiny tears of ours
which filled it up
together with our regret
and our despair
currents
flying
high
above the clouds
with
pretty silver lining
rays of sunlight
glinting off its edges
making them sparkle
soaring wild
with no rules abound
into the horizon
of a world wrapped
in the coloured papers
of fantasy
that is borne within my
mind
FANTASY
paper
torn
into shreds of sanity
screaming heard
overwhelming me
laughing hysterically
nonsensical
its madness all around
the
heat is on
taking ahold of me
bursting
into flames
the fiery tongue
licking the tears
off my face
with a hiss they
disappears
im about to be burned
alive
by flames
that only i can see
that only exists
within my head
flames
of tears
a
love that needs to be let go
a devotion that needs to be forgotten
of a past together
of a life with each other
being tied down
by emotions
when unable to fufil them
is simply cruelty
to the extremes
it's hard i know
to release the hand
that you've been holding onto
so tightly
but it must be done
before love turns to hatred
devotion turns to scorn
memories into shards of glass
that cuts you so deep
making you bleed
making you cry
of the past you had together
before everything turns ugly
into something that
even you would condemned it
for it's paradoxical existence
when it's not meant to be...
paradoxical
existence
words
of cruelty
spoken in jest
to one who could not mouth
not one sound
to protect herself
from the merciless rain
of brutal speech
battering her ancient bent body
and cutting deep grooves
into her poor heart
of the kindest soul
you have ever seen
she cries alone
in her silent, unhearing world
as she continues to give
to the very young
who keeps on
cutting her down
into tiny little pieces
to be stepped upon
her wrinkled hands
working so hard
to give him joy
yet he uses his very hands
to push her
down into the dark cold pit
filled with his misforgivngs
with his wilfulness
yet she goes on
on her bruised little feet
carrying the burden
of
living
on her little crooked back
till one day
when she does not
open her eyes again
no longer hearing hurtful words
no longer carrying the burden
on her little bent back
no longer struggling through life
on her little calloused feet
will she be finally set free
to live for herself once more
for no one ever told her
this world was never meant
for one as beautiful as she
going home
candle
in the dark
a flicker of light
all the more beautiful
against the encroaching darkness
which made to devour it whole
yet it shone more brightly
amidst the challenge
sometimes wavering
yet it still burn steadily
until the day comes
when it has burned itself out
till the candle in the dark
is no more
than a little stub of wax
yet it did not regret
lighting up the darkness
for it was through it
that its entire life
became worthy of living
just for that short period
when for a moment
eternity was frozen in time
just to see it burn
eternity
in time
seemingly
unmoving
like
that of the glacier
way up north
as if frozen in time
when it is in reality everflowing in silence
a single seed of hope
lies dormant
beneath the many layers
of icy facade
waiting… to be discovered
by the first few rays of sunlight
that is just so rare
to permeate right through
to be seen
behind the hypocritical front walled up by suppressed emotions a
little glow amid the coldness warming thy heart
living for the hope itself
and that is enough for now…
seed of hope
falling softly
feathers of the purest white
of the softest down
an illusion no doubt
for such perfection
was never meant to be
like this
world was never meant
for someone as beautiful as you
pure as angels flying high
innocent as a new born babe
hair of snow
of the palest winter
heart of crystals
of the coldest ice
like the flakes that fell from
heaven existing for just a
moment
freezing into eternity
before melting into nothing
winter child
I stare ahead
nothing
a statue I am
just waiting
in a tiny box of invisible boundaries
set just for me
of absolute darkness
with nothing to see
of deafening silence
with nothing to hear
'cept the lone sounds of heartbeat
of the still figure that is me
I speak of no evil
for I have no tongue
robbed of speech
I am left a silent marrionette just sitting there
in a dark corner
with emptiness in my eyes and tiredness in my soul moving only
when pulled by the strings forever embedded in me
and stop only will I
when my strings are cut
and that will be the end to all of the silence and emptiness that I so abhor
cage of silence
pale
feelings
fleeting
gone like a wisp of smoke
before it was ever
truly in your hands
it never spoke of eternity
cause it never exists
if moments can be freezed
perfect moments would last
if words can be left unspoken
hurtful words would ceased
no matter what
time will eased the pain
the hurt and the sorrow
just as it would slowly
nibble away at the hidden memories
of joy, of laughter and of love
till nothing is left
but the vessel
who is unable to
capture those pale shadows
of feelings back
white
pure as snow
yet cold as ice
two different minds in a body
intricately entwined together
forever trapped
in their conflicts
two different personalities
like that of light and darkness
yet coexisting at the same time
both so blinding to the eyes of man
light so bright
it blinds those who look upon his glory
and darkness so dark
it blinds those who fell for him
beautifully sculpted
in both body and soul
one by the very hand of God
yet the other by the very hand of satan
a work of art
that mesmerizes others so easily
such white temptations exist
only to let others fall
and succumb to their weakness
before being devoured
by the icy white
and the emptiness that follows....
umbra
Real Name: Chen Yinzhi
AKA: rabbuit, santa claus (erm, ask my Rudolph), Fiona (bleah), unknown
X character (well, once, not now), Hokuto (well...*shrug*)
Age: I'm still young
Zodiac: Taurus
Birthday: 09/05/----
Faves...
Food: persimmons (is that under food or fruit category...)
Movie: 6th sense (the best), what lies beneath (next best), matrix
(so...on), oh and waterboys nowadays. It's a Jap movie about male synchronized
swimming, dun ask me how they got that idea. haha
Anime: hmm...that's hard. Slam Dunk I suppose, and CCS, and Hunter
X Hunter, and Inuyasha I suppose (although I've only watched a few episodes.
My latest fascination....tadah. yu yu hakusho. it is juz so cool =)
Colours: anything that catches my eye and is aesthetically pleasing
ON me...hahaha
Past time: napping (of course, it's a must to replenish beauty sleep
=P) reading (a lot of comics, some thrillers, a little Chinese reading now
and then), going out and chatting with friends.
Sport: hmm...i love to watch figure skating and gymnastics although
I'm in volleyball myself. hahah
Drink: anything sweet, I have this ENORMOUS sweet tooth *grin*
silver
Why? cos they just happen to catch my eyes when they appear. Somehow or another,
I'd always admired the villian in most animes too, cos they're sooo...bad
that well...it makes you wanna have them all to yourself. Those with style
of course, I never like villians with no creativity or no style...*comes evil
laughter backgroud music* hahaha...in this case, these white hair guys win
hands down. Though not all of them are really villians, but they do all have
their ruthless and cold sides to them. It just makes you shiver with 1. anticipation
or 2. fear whenever you see them. So exciting. Well...as my friend Kakyou
says, she can always choose a better bishounen than me, but we have different
tastes so I won't say much. I firmly stand by my choices anytime. (hear that
kakyou?
Hahahhaha....=P)
Well, that's all for now, Will have more comments next time round!
icicle
well, then, im so sorry there are no pics to show you other than the gorgeous silvered hair man right above. but, i'll intro some bishounens that i like that are white/silvered haired for now. *i hope soon i'll go on to the other colours* =)
1: muraki kazutaka ( yami no matsuei) age:?? occupation:doctor/killer/pervert(?) obssession: tsuzuki (of course) =P
2: killua ... (eh, i forgot his surname) ( hunter x hunter ) age: 12 or so, occupation: heir to assassin family , obsession: none, other than chocolate balls, erm...maybe and a little of gon. hahaha
3: yue (card captor sakura) age: ancient !!?? (actually i guess it's under unknown category) occupation: one of the guardians of the clow cards/ sakura's protector, obssession: looking at touya?
4: youko kurama (yu yu hakusho) age: a few thousand years or so occupation: thief with damn powerful youki and flower power *hahaha* obssession: flowers, studying and maybe a bit of hiei.
unravel
i am a weird character that seems like a ball of yarn, you'll never know when u'll get to the end of it. my feelings may seem so easily exposed and yet i hid alot beneath the surface of my disarming smile i suppose.
im no dangerous freak, just weird i guess. i can laugh like hell the next and seem to be like the calm before a storm starts the next. im still trying to search for my identity in this crazy mad world...
i love animals and babies, they are juz SOOO....cute! =) esp cats, dont' u think they are just so elegant and graceful. a natural model tt's what they are. babies are juz natural bundles of joy and calls out to the child in all of us! =)
almost forgot one very important thing... i love to sing. i love music...it's one of the most important things in my life. currently my idol is stefanie sun....go stef.! any stef sun fans out there??
shades
time to introduce some other bishounens that im interested in that arent' exactly having pure snow for hair.....*drum rolls* and here they are.
1.touya kinomoto (ccs) _____________ i just love him in ccs. as sakura's brother, he is just so cool and protective. and of course, his rather affectionate behaviour for his best friend yukito also scored with me. heh heh...in other words he's the tall, dark brooding handsome guy typical in lotsa manga with a soft side to him.
2.lukawa kaede (slam dunk) _________ he's another ice babe, but then this one is really an icy guy *freezes in midspeech* compared to our adorable touya. but he is so damn cool with his basket ball moves and his monotonous "do aho" (for sakuragi) he's a quiet one, but his silence attracted me...hahaha...watever. =P
3.sai(hikaru no go) ________________ well...he's a beautiful spirit with a great determination to reach higher levels of skills of playing go. he's so cute inside with hikaru when he's pouting bout wanting to play go or when he's having the same action as hikaru. kawaii neh!! =)
4.fuuma monou (x 1999) ____________ god he is just one drop-dead gorgeous, sexy villain. one of the best i've encountered so far. he looks super good in a black trench coat, twisting kamui's arm behind or licking icecream from seishiro's hand. oooh....tt's so SEXY. he's just simply drooling with sex appeal. *rabbuit swooning*
5.seishiro sakurazukamori (tokyo babylor/x 1999) __________________ another guy with great sex appeal, but what i appreciate most of all is his figure. damn...how i wish most guys got his figure, of broad chest, wide shoulders, slender yet slightly muscular with a sharp fashion sense. another villain that no girls should miss out on. u'll love his unexpected moves on poor subaru-san.
6.akira (hikaru no go) ______________ a little boy with great go skills. he is just so cute...i like him alot, compared to hikaru, as he's so kawaii. with his polite manners and cute looks, he has captured the hearts of many hikaru no go fans. he's also mature and wise for his age. and yet he's still a child at heart in some ways...kawaii....=)
7.hiei (yu yu hakusho) _____________ one of my all time favourite characters. he's bad at first, but he soon gets influenced by yusuke and became rather good.for him at least. he's so...kawaii...in terms of manners, sometimes. and he looks so cute after he finished using his kokurhoya (erm...somethng like that) and is about to fall asleep. he's so handsome with his spiky hair and wide red eyes. definitely a bishounen.
8.subaru sumeragi (tokyo babylon/x 1999) ___________________________ another bishounen that everyone should know. he's obssessed with seishiro due to something that happened in the past. he seemed to be out for revenge and yet, he still can't seem to put the past behind. a caring persone who puts everyone before him. a character so hurt by his past he does not know what to do bout it. he's so cute in tokyo babylon when he was just teenager. with large emerald eyes that just sucks u deep within....wow
9.satoshi(dn angel) ________________ accidentally found him when my friend introduce dn angel to me. there was these one scene where he carried niwa, another boy to the sick bay, and some of the girls screamed bout how good the 2 of them look together. hahaha...a good looking, smart, intelligent quiet guy with a determination to capture dark, the thief. and he's one strong guy too *wink*
10.lantis(rayearth) ________________ another one of my all time favourites. similar to that of touya but slightly different. also the chivalrous, brave, quiet cool guy. he's good with his sword tooo....not to mention that he's damn cute too. esp with his cape flying bout behind him and having his hair all tousled and his cool armour. this is one bishounen that girls will scream to touch him...hahah..i guess.
and tis are my top 10 choices for now. im sure there are even more out there, just that i haven't have the chance to find out yet, some other time kay?
