MY PJ'S
Okie, so now you are getting pissed off with this boring world, not to mention your dull life and want a change...need suggestions??
How about jumping frm my 15th Floor window ( sorry !!! no parachutes), or for tht matter even cherishing the thought of 100 tons train going over your body isnt bad either, but a rather subdued options will be to read on all my PJ's ( for starters, its an abbrv for Poor Jokes/Pathetic Jokes/Pakau Jokes but i will still prefer to call thm PIYUSH'S Jokes hehehe...)
So dear, Just read on and keep your mental horizons open.....
NOTE: Everything in ITALICS requires prior knowledge of our national language - Hindi.
PAKISTANI'S Jokes !!!
Heard of the latest Pakistani invention ???
Automatic Parachutes which opens on IMPACT.
How do you stop a Pakistani Tank???
Simple!!! Shoot the men who are pushing it.
How do you disable a Pakistani missile???
Cut the rubber band.
Have you ever seen a Pakistani war hero ???
Neither has Pakistan.
How do you sink a Pakistani battleship ???
Put it in the water !!!
You are locked in a room with Saddam Hussain, Adolf Hitler and a pakistani. You have a gun with three bullets. What will you do ?
Shoot the pakistani thrice to make it sure that he's dead.
What is brown and black which looks good on a Pakistani???
A Doberman.
How can you tell when a Pakistani is lying ???
His lips will be moving.
Did you hear about the terrorist who hijacked a 747, full of Pakistanis ???
He threatened to release a Pakistani every hr if his demands are not met.
Two Indian men captures a Pakistani. They give him a dice and say "If you throw between 1 and 5 , we'll kill you".
Pakistani asks "What if i'll get 6 ?".
They say "you will get another throw".
ANGREZ: What's your fave flower ?
HINDU: Lotus.
ANGREZ: I clean my shit with that.
MUSLIM: Chameli.
ANGREZ: I clean my shit with that.
SARDAR: CACTUS, le ab saaf kar...
Wife asked her hubby " What do u like in me ? My beautiful face or my sexy body ? ".
He took a good look at her from head to toe and replied " I like your sense of humour".
When you feel that no body loves you.....no body cares about you...all loathes you and everyone starts ignoring you....
You should start asking yourself " AM I A PAKISTANI ?".
Q1. What are call-boxes for ghosts called?
A. B(h)ooths
Q2. What did the potato screamed on the telephone ?
A. Alooo... Alooo.....
Q3. What did the lonely banana say?
A. I'm (a)kela.
Q4. What is the opposite of kishore kumar?
A. Kishore ko mat maar.
Q5. Jackie Chain ki SAAS ka kya naam hai ???
A. D' Cold Clear ( Chain ki saans ).
Q6. Okie, so now whats the name of Jackie Chain's Wife???
A. Again D' Cold ( kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi).
Q7. Dravid asks Prasad for a Pepsi, but Venky gives it to apna Sehwag. Why ???
A. Becoz Sehwag is a Opener.
Q8. Agar RAM SITA hai to RAM kaun hai ???
A. Tailor.
Q9. Agar Sita RAM hai to SITA kaun hai ??
A. Memory ( Random Access Memory ).
Q10. Where do earrings go on holiday?
A. Bali.
Q11. What did Gabbar Singh ask his mom whn he was born?
A. Maa, Kitne aadmi the ?
Q12. What was the biggest tragedy in the movie "Sholay"?
A. Well, first of all Thakur's Wife dies and then to make matter even worse, Gabbar chops off both his hands.
SURDS Jokes !!!
( No offences meant to anyone although speaking of my personal experiences, they are some of the most wonderful guys ive ever met).
After making a trip of South India , Santa Singh ,his wife and his son were returning to punjab in Tamilnadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand hindi had occupied his son's birth . Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English. Santa Singh explained , " That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."
Why do sardar laugh when he see's lightning in sky??
Answer-Because he thinks his photograph is being taken.
One evening a Sardarji starts from office to home with pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way...
Friend: why are you pushing your scooter manually?
Sardarji: 'I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home.
Friend: 'Is it! Then, How did you come to office from home in the morning?'
Sardarji: 'I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in the morning.
How Does a Sardar Cheat the Railways??
He buys the ticket but doesn't travel !!!!!!!!
Santa singh and Banta singh were always boasting of their parents achievements to each other.
Santa singh : Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?
Banta singh : Yes, I have.
Santa singh : Well, my father dug it.
Banta singh : That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?
Santa singh : Yes, I have.
Banta singh : Well, my father killed it
Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They're there for those who don't drink.
One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in America. A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing"
Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh"
Another Guy Came and asked the same Question.
Sardar answered " No No Me Banta Singh"
Third one came and asked the same question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach.
He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?"
The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing "
Our Sardar slapped him on his face and said, "Salay, Sab tere Ko wahah doond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai."
Q : How can you recognize an surd in a submarine?
A : He is the one with the parachute on his back
BEPPO SINGH QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE.
Friend: What are you looking at?
Beppo Singh: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Beppo Singh: four asterisks!
Did you hear about the sardar skydiver?
He missed the Earth!
BEPPO SINGH'S MOTHER DIED.
Beppo Singh: (crying) the doctor called, my mother is dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
After 2 minutes Beppo Singh cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Beppo Singh: my sister just called, her mother died too!
Lotta Singh: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs. because of a power failure.
Beppo Singh: Thats alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.
Once a Sardarji went to a toilet, and on the door inside the toilet was written , "Congratulations!!! You have won yourself a free ticket for An amazing tennis match, for your ticket please look at your left".
Surdar looks at his left and on the left wall was written , "look at your right".
Surdar looks at his right and on the right wall was written , "look at your left ".
Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed!!!
Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognized me," he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
To lay your hands on more of these kind of jokes ( no matter which category !!! ) log on to www.lotsofjokes.com
Thank You for checking it till the last...Hehehehe..
