Hauling Out the Fence Posts

By a Memorial University of Newfoundland professor

For most people I probably pass as heterosexual, as I am a parent and a prof -- and had no experiences, that I identified as beyond the heterosexual norm, until my forties.

But I am a changed person.

The experience of what became a long distance relationship of several years has changed my life. At first I felt the change acutely, as many of my assumptions and systems of assumptions became visible and were, by necessity, discarded.

I had had a set of fences in my mind. The fence posts were hauled out, and for about three days I was dizzy, confused and excited.
Gradually I replaced some of the fences, in new places, but I was doomed to never be as certain of anything as I had been before.

My wiser friends urged me tokeep my voice down to a dull roar as I recounted these changes and declared new loyalties.
At the time when I began this new kind of relationship I knew only one fairly out professor, and that person is still here. Several more have come since then, and I am sorry to say that most have also left. They have written their books and in some cases, taken up top positions, at other universities.
Their departures are regrettable, not only because some were brilliant, as well as brave, but because both the university and its wider community need their presence to nurture change. Homophobia is hard on students and profs alike, especially in places like universities, where we have been encouraged to expect exemplary human rights standards.

Which is not to presume that all the profs left because of homophobia. But where they enjoyed the Newfoundland ambiance, where they were out before tenure, where they were determined to make sexuality the topic of their research -- and where they were on the receiving end of knee-jerk resistance from senior administrators -- one has to wonder.

The community which created this university, and which shelters its students, has been heavily influenced by churches of different Christian denominations, all vying with each other for firm positions.

Until this year, the schools were all totally run by these churches, and were often nurseries for homophobia, among other negative things.
I want to think that the recent sexual abuse trials will redirect some Christian condemnation away from gays and lesbians and towards more genuine dangers.
However, as some people still have trouble recognizing the enormous differences between abuse and consensual homosexual relationships, the status quo has yet to be truly undermined.
Nonetheless, I am optimistic about the future role of the schools here, now that the teachers are covered by provincial human rights legislation. Formerly, teachers could lose their jobs if their private lives were out of step with the policies of some of the churches.
But that is beginning to change.
Recently, a Women's Studies and Education grad student was able -- without losing her job -- to publicize her thesis on how schools serve gay and lesbian school teachers and students. And as another important sign of the times, a few teachers were front and centre in the 1998 St. John's Pride March.
Granted, MUN's curriculum is still distinctly lite on such topics as the history of sexualities, and conservative values still rule in many situations.
But exciting changes are happening. And a lot of our students are at the forefront, and indeed are the forces of these changes.

Back to more
Coming Out Stories