|
|
Mom,
I Still Have My Ovaries
|
A Coming Out Story by Sarah
For most of my life,
I had never
seriously questioned the idea that I was straight -- and neither had anyone else.
I'd had a boyfriend for three years, and I only began to consider other possibilities after we
broke up.
I realized I was gay when I met my girlfriend. She was intelligent, funny and sensitive,
and the
more I got to know her, the more I realized that I had more than friendship in mind. I wanted to
have a
relationship with her.
As frightening as this was, I forged ahead into the new territory.
I'd never slept with another woman. In fact, my girlfriend was the only openly gay
person I even knew.
I was unnerved by my own perception of what a Lesbian was. In my vague awareness, I
thought
that all lesbians looked like and wanted to be men. So I didn't see how I could be one. But
following
my heart, as best I could, got me mostly past this mental block.
Coming out to others was a
separate
challenge, and something my girlfriend couldn't help me with. It was a decision I had to make on
my
own. She was there for me when I told my parents and sister, but she didn't push me. This was
something I wanted and had to do.
I was just sick of lying about where I was, what I was doing, why I wasn't home the way I
used
to be. Their comments about my "secret life" were mean, and I was tired of being on the
receiving end.
Nine months after starting my relationship, I came out to my parents.
I went into the kitchen at 10 a.m., and decided that I wouldn't leave until I told them. Six
hours
later I finally got up the nerve.
And let me tell you, it wasn't easy. There really is no good preamble to this sort of
conversation,
and I wanted to make sure they understood me clearly.
"I'm a lesbian!" I blurted out.
Deafening silence as they came to terms with my statement.
And then they asked questions. "Are you safe?" "What are you going to do if people treat
you
differently?" Nice, intelligent questions. I answered them all as best as I could.
"What about kids? I guess I won't have any grandchildren", my mother concluded.
"Mom," I
grinned, "my ovaries aren't dead!" She laughed. Dad ruffled my hair, and went downstairs.
And so it went okay. Mom was
upset for me, worried about prejudice and discrimination. She'll always worry for me, about
whether
I'm okay, or making the right decisions. But I expect that from her. I think she would worry
about
those things regardless of my sexuality. And both my parents were visibly relieved that the
secret I was
keeping wasn't something worse.
Coming out as a lesbian didn't change my relationship with my parents, for the worse, but
in fact,
made it better.
I don't feel guilty for going to see my girlfriend, or spending time away from home. And
although
the tattoo with "Womyn rule" inside a big red heart hasn't appeared yet, I know that Mom won't
die of
shock if she sees it. Then again, one should never underestimate a parent...
Back to more
Coming Out Stories