i am a servant in the MASTER'S HOUSE.
by Bob Neuman
I was born a wolf long ago, in a deep hole. A place of darkness with only the sounds and smells of my littermates that remain in the recesses of my memory. Survival was based on the instincts of my species. to huddle together for warmth in the cold. to be stronger and faster than my mates when allowed to nurse. to fight and win the pieces of meat when the milk stopped. To survive was the call of my kind in the very core of my being.
Then one day, deep in the pit my world changed as a new sound came far from above me. And suddenly I was pulled up and out of the pit and into the light. I was held helpless by a strength incomprehensible. And I knew fear for no matter how I struggled I could not escape and I could not run away.... my strongest survival instinct. And I cried out in the pitiful voice of the pup that I was, but the pack did not come to help me.
I was alone in the light. I was helpless. Surely I was lost and about to be devoured. And then I heard this VOICE. A sound unlike any I had heard before repeating over and over. Then I did not know the POWER OF HIS WORDS or their meaning. That came with time. But HE kept saying "IT"S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT".
With HIS HAND securely holding me, HIS VOICE reassuring me, I began to feel the warmth of HIS CHEST as HE carried me. As HE walked I could feel the steady cadence of HIS STEPS and I was aware of the RHYTHM and BEAT of HIS HEART. Slowly I realized I was safe and fell asleep.
Later when I awoke in HIS ARMS I was aware of only four things.... HIS ARM that held me, HIS HAND that fed me, HIS VOICE that comforted me, and HIS HEART that reassured me. Instinct said that my allegiance was to the pack. That the pack leader would protect and feed me. So I bonded to HE whose HAND fed me and VOICE instructed me. And in time HE took me out to HIS PACK....
A very strange pack it was. They did not look, sound, act, or smell like any thing I knew. Yet if HE was the leader it was now my pack to which I belonged. In time I learned that what I called a pack HE called HIS FLOCK. And the SHEEP of HIS FLOCK in time learned to tolerate my presence and ignored me. Yet the instincts of the pack were changed to serve the SHEPHERD'S will. Hunting instinct became herding skills. My response to the pack leader was changed to following the commands of the SHEPHERD.
Whether it was a whistle or a signal of HIS HAND I knew HIS COMMAND and I obeyed.
Moving the flock from pasture to pasture there was always strays to gather in. it took little time for even a pup to learn that sheep are quite stupid and goats are quite obstinate. But it took a long time for me to realize that while the sheep recognized HIS VOICE they did not understand HIS WORDS. So I understood my role and HIS only rule..."DO NOT REND MY SHEEP, HARM NOT THE GOATS". This took time to learn and to suppress my instincts for my loyalty had changed to what you call LOVE.
For I was not a sheep. At night when the flock was safely in their fold I stayed not with them. MY MASTER who stayed at the gate of the fold kept me with HIM. It was at HIS FEET I slept. And from HIS HAND I was fed.
Then one day I became alert when an old smell was faint on the wind. The sheep did not notice but I had. And my first instinct was to protect the flock. So I took my stance between the memory and MY MASTER'S SHEEP.
I doubt if he even knew I was there for all he could smell was sheep. His frame was thin and his coat was mangy. Scars of old battles were easily seen. The thought of an easy kill and a full belly must have been on his mind for he never noticed me till it was too late. It was quick and loud. and the sheep were disturbed. I was not surprised when I looked up and saw the MASTER striding toward me. I sat by the carcass and looked into HIS FACE. I thought HE would be happy but I saw the quiet look of concern in HIS EYES. Had I done wrong? I had protected the flock? And with quiet gentleness HE reached out and probed the wound on my shoulder. And once again I heard HIS WORDS..."IT'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT"...
Then one day I again noticed a smell and realized this was different. Not one old wolf, weak and starving, but something bigger and a lot different than any I had ever encountered. And I got nervous and challenged the smell and the sound I could barely hear. Again I stood between the danger and the sheep. The sheep being sheep started bleating and milling together as I barked and growled knowing that was what I had to do. And when the bear stood to his full height I attacked low. It took only the first glancing
blow to tell me I was out matched but it mattered little. The pack/flock comes first. Then suddenly the bear stopped his attack and turned to flee as the SHEPHERD'S VOICE rang out in a battle cry that shook the heavens as together MY LEADER and I ran down the predator and made our kill. I fed well that night.
Another time the threat came and it was another pack. The danger to the flock was great.
Wolves/jackals/and wild dogs work together for their kills. They came for sheep and found a sheepdog. Before they could encircle the flock I attacked the pack leader. They expected an easy kill. Instead they found teeth and an attitude. It was a glorious battle while it lasted. By attacking their leader I took the pack's attention away from HIS SHEEP. The next thing I remember is HIS ARM picking me gently off the battle field and HIS VOICE saying "GOOD DOG, GOOD DOG, IT'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT".
SO IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER WHAT ATTACKS THE FLOCK... WOLF, BEAR, LION...OR EVEN DRAGON. I WILL NOT RUN!!!!!
I WILL MAKE MY STAND BETWEEN THE DANGER AND HIS SHEEP. FOR I AM NEVER ALONE. MY SHEPHERD WILL ALWAYS COME WHEN I CALL. AND WHATEVER THE OUTCOME, HE WILL TEND MY WOUNDS AND CARRY ME HOME.... TO SIT AT HIS FEET AND STAY AT HIS SIDE.
I was born a wolf, but I found a MASTER who talks to me and feeds me. Who knows exactly where on my belly where to scratch.... Who has a piece of old rug with my scent on it, which nicely fits at the foot of HIS THRONE.
What more could an old dog want in HEAVEN.
Selah bob in Miami
quick to rise and to go when the call went out. to come against the attacks that came over and over. trained with sword and shield, spear and sling i fought for wife and children, family and friends. to stand between the living who held my heart and those who would bring death that came against all that I loved and held dear. so i was a warrior who fought when the need arose, when the danger was present.
the warrior's heart is filled with that for which he stands in the midst of battle. whatever loyalty was evident merely matched the present danger, the enemy within sight, the destroyer that pressed the attack. my heart went no farther than the threat that was seen, the evil perceived. it was well to fight for my life in the midst of chaos. it was better to fight against an enemy i knew who came to kill, to devour, to destroy.
so then the Captain came and called me out. he called me by name. HE placed me in the battle line when i followed the voice of authority. i had never heard a voice like HIS. so i listened. i believed. i obeyed. i never imagined that there would come an attack greater than my strength. stronger than a single warrior's heart could stand. so in less than committed and willful obedience i learned the value of discipline and unity. for as wave after wave the darkness fell upon the gallant and the brave i watched as warrior after warrior fell. they too came to face the threat of the enemy. they willingly placed themselves between the innocent and the evil, the weak and the ruthless. but they would not stand under authority. they would not stand with those with like heart and purpose. for the greatest enemy they did not see for it was within them. and PRIDE always destroys from inside. and i watched as each fell, but not to a stronger foe or one with greater skill. but to time and exhaustion as they fought alone and in their own strength.
the mighty man, trained for battle and experienced in war is still but one warrior, alone and steadfast. unlimited skill and courage will withstand attacks and assaults, but only for a time and not for a season. [in the day of battle he comes and the heart of a warrior will carry any single day. but in a campaign of attrition the lone warrior falls as he fought, alone and unnoticed.
courage and valor, skill and cunning are the tools of the warrior whose own hand must carry the day. and i was a warrior. and there was a Captain who came, stronger and wiser, who said "STAND WITH ME AND THE DAY IS OURS !" and i stood on the GREAT DAY of BATTLE under HIS BANNER. as the waves of darkness crashed against the defenders of LIFE each wave receded only to regroup and to storm again against us. and i watched as the lone warriors slowly fell one by one... as the day progressed and the battle reached it's heights the position of the Captain held over and over until only the Captain's battle line stood between the living and those who came to kill, steal, and destroy.
the Captain stood alongside me in the front of the line. HIS PRESENCE and HIS COURAGE giving all who stood with HIM both strength and purpose. as the battle reached it's peak HE turned and to face us. "IT IS TIME TO FINISH THIS, IT IS TIME TO OVERCOME." HE shouted with a laugh. "FOLLOW ME AND I WILL LEAD YOU BEYOND THIS BATTLE!". and as one all who had stood began to march against the enemy and the VOICE of the Captain was heard above the battle's roar. HIS laugh echoing through the ranks as HE started to sing. and as HIS SONG filled my ears
and merged my heart and mind and spirit i began to sing HIS SONG.
and that was when the change occurred. no longer was HE the Captain, for from that point HE BECAME MY CAPTAIN. and i knew never again would i fight alone. and no other would i follow. under HIS BANNER alone would i stand. suddenly the enemy whose numbers and strength seemed so great and so relentless stood in terror before HIS BANNER. for MY CAPTAIN'S SONG, the VICTORY SONG OF THE KING OF KINGS filled all of creation as HE crushed the enemy's battleline and rolled their flanks.
HIS LAUGHTER AND HIS SONG devastated and annihilated all that stood against HIM. and i stood beside HIM below HIS BANNER. GREAT AND TERRIBLE was MY CAPTAIN before me whose sword and shield moved like lightening in the night. and HIS VOICE thundered as HIS SONG was sung and HIS ORDERS rang out in the Day of Battle.
i was a warrior, but now i am a soldier. a warrior quick and cunning, skilled and strong...
but now i am a soldier of the KING. no longer do i fight my battle in my own strength, but i fight HIS BATTLES under HIS BANNER with HIS STRENGTH and with HIS SONG. never again do i fight alone, no longer do i wait for the enemy's attack. for i only figh t the battles MY CAPTAIN chooses, and for HIS OBJECTIVES, and for HIS GLORY.
for i am a Soldier of the KING.... under HIS AUTHORITY and in HIS NAME will i march and will i stand. by HIS WILL alone do i come and do i go. under HIS COMMAND i have learned the importance of discipline and the purpose of unity. at HIS SIDE i have learned the importance of submission... a warrior's heart still beats in my chest, but it is MY CAPTAIN'S COMMANDS that focuses my mind and HIS SONG that fills my spirit.
unto MY CAPTAIN WHO IS MY KING do i pledge my life... and to HIM ALONE i bow my knee.
no more than a child i stood at HIS DOOR and knocked. when the DOOR was opened i asked to be allowed to serve and to call HIM MASTER. upon entering i was fed and i was bathed. i was clothed and given a place to sleep. i was instructed in the rules that governed all that entered HIS HOUSE. i was placed under the authority of other servants who were responsible for both my education and my training. my first duties were simple. and as i successfully learned new skills i was given more duties. and with duty i am held accountable. over time my work and my attitude proved my status and increased my duties, and my accountability. one day a new servant was placed in my care, and for the first time delegated authority and responsibility were placed on my shoulders. no longer was i accountable for my own work, but that of another.
over time more authority was delegated and my stewardship began. no longer was i just a servant eating at my MASTER'S TABLE. now i am a symbol of my MASTER for i carry HIS AUTHORITY. the food i eat is HIS, the clothing i wear is HIS. for over time that which was "i" has become HIS.... and being HIS man and not my own is all to gain for self is replaced with HIS.... over time my thoughts have become HIS THOUGHTS. my desires no longer concern myself, but HIS PLEASURE. my only goal is to please HIM. HIS HOUSE is what i live for. HIS WILL dictates everything in my life. when my MASTER is concerned, i am worried. when my MASTER is content, i am happy. when my MASTER is sad, i grieve. when my MASTER laughs, i celebrate. when my MASTER is struck, i bleed. when my MASTER is angry, i am enraged. and when my MASTER IS PLEASED, i am fulfilled.
a hireling works for daily pay. a day in the fields, a season in the pastures, a harvest in the vineyard. whoever will pay has their attention for a moment. going from day to day they have no one requiring their obedience or their loyalty. many call this freedom. but i am a servant, not a hireling. a servant is as much a part of the MASTER'S HOUSE as the lumber and nails, brick and mortar of the HOUSE itself. service is not given for wages of coins of gold or silver. service is given for a position in HIS HOUSEHOLD. wherever a servant goes they do not see the man, but THE MASTER'S livery that the servant wears. so they know they deal with THE MASTER, not a lowly servant. they know that the words are not the servant's but THE MASTER who sent the servant. to touch the servant is touching THE MASTER.
so my sum and total is as the MASTER judges my worth. all that i am and all that i have HE has given me. my continued service is based on my value HE ascribes to me. and HIS JUDGEMENT i will trust. HIS COMMAND is all i await.
who am i does not matter, never has and never will. to who's HOUSE i belong does. some servants come from the gutters, while some were born in HIS HOUSE. their origin is not an issue, only their obedience and their service. the only thing that differentiates the servants is the level of authority and accountability they may hold. otherwise they are indistinguishable. same clothing, same food, same water, same sleeping place.... there is no cause to think of yourself above any other servant. for it is not another person we look upon but a fellow servant in whom my MASTER delights. for if one falls we all fall and the MASTER is diminished. if one is lost my MASTER is decreased. if one is struck down HIS HOUSE and HIS PERSON is assaulted....and this my MASTER does not take lightly.
so i still wonder why HE allowed me to enter HIS SERVICE... why HE had me clothed and trained my hands for war... why i was taught with HIS CHILDREN born in HIS HOUSE.... why would HE talk to me.... why HE is concerned for me.... why HE has given GRACE and MERCY, BLESSING and FAVOR, beyond all measure.... why HE embraces me and calls me 'friend' is beyond all understanding.... so if you need to ask why i gladly give ALL to my MASTER...to live for HIM alone.... and willing to die for HIM and HIS HOUSE.... then i fear you have never met HIM yourself.... heard HIS VOICE pierce the darkness.... feel HIS HAND that strengthens..... seen HIS GLORY and HIS BEAUTY.... tasted HIS GOODNESS and HIS SWEETNESS.... or smelled HIS FRAGRANCE in the night wind.... i grieve for you and pray you might knock at HIS DOOR.... and call out HIS NAME.....
selah
bob in Miami
I have asked Bob Neumann to share some of his personal testimony again with the list. God has blessed us with many contributions from Bob and He allowed me to visit with Bob on the phone, to hear from his mouth the desire and cry of his heart. And I "hear"
this when I read the things he has shared on the list. Some of you haven't made his acquaintance in that way...and I urge you to, not only with Bob but with others....then when you hear them share.. you will even recognize a certain tone of voice and identify with a way they express themselves. Many of the list have their telephone numbers listed.. others are more than willing to give them to you by email if you indicate you
want to call them, and would welcome your calls/visits. Others of you have access to Netscape Conferencing.. which I haven't figured out yet just how it works but is supposed to be like the telephone over the Internet. If any of you have tried this out and want to share how it works.. I am waiting in line to be encouraged to use it. Meri
(Meri Burlingame editor of Apostle/Prophet web site)
yours truly was born 2/20/52 in Streator, IL. first of 8 children. my family was Roman Catholic and i was raised in "THE CHURCH'' which included catholic elementary school. i was the only one in my graduating class to have a desire to read the bible.... new testament only....mostly the gospels...especially JOHN's. at age 8 became an alterboy...overly faithful and committed. and for some strange reason i wanted to please GOD...to serve HIM alone. and it came as no surprise to my classmates and the joy of my parents when at age 13 i declared i wanted to be a priest. i wanted to serve GOD and to help people. you ever read the prayer of St Francis of Assisi...LORD MAKE ME AN INSTRUMENT OF YOUR PEACE.... so at age 14 i went off to Seminary/Conventual Franciscan....i really wanted to be a Maryknoll and go to africa/s america/asia to care 'for the least' of HIS FLOCK...ABBA's hand was on me because no one knew that that order had decided to be involved in secular matters mixing marxism and humanism....in 1965-6 i would have been in the middle of the beginning.... in Seminary we were ‘cloistered'...silence, ritual prayers, everything coordinated by bells telling us where and when to go. and all went well for 8-10 months and something went real bad real fast. it began when i shared with my prefect( a priest that was one part councilor, one part role model, and one part fascist dictator) my desire to go to the mission fields to serve....and he laughed...and laughed ....and laughed. then he explained that that was only where the stupid wound up...the fools who didn't 'get it'. and he began to explain the dynamics of religion and how it is the same ''game''... getting all you can out of the system by being 'in' the system and playing it for all you can...all it is worth... and according to him...and many others...that it didn't matter who you where... franciscan, or diocesan, jesuit or trappist .... catholic, orthodox, protestant were all the same....and i have found over the next 30+ years there was much truth in all he said....
so i took a clear look at what i was in and at age 17 i wanted nothing to do with GOD for i mistook "religion'' for GOD for i knew of HIM only.... so college began and ended abruptly....and i joined the work force. but i was always looking for TRUTH. and as i started getting the full brunt of the real world i wanted more because my spirit and my future had 'died'.... and of course there were those who picked up on the ''vibes'' i was sending out.... remember the flower power era? well the same things the franciscans saw 'others' saw too. and many were glad to help... i studied Akido and ZEN because it required the discipline that franciscan Catholicism was built on. i 'knew' i needed it but never new why. and i began to study areas we now call new age....and got off it when the opportunity to ''work'' my way through nursing school was grabbed upon.and for the next three years i worked/studied during the week and partied the weekend. 1974 i graduated, passed my boards and when i was not working i partied and played golf...self discipline and a challenge to do better each time out. just realized i never mentioned sports and a violent desire for competition...well too late now.... in 1975 i moved to miami for great weather, good money, and a promise of booze, babes, and blues....and something messed it all up big time....i fell in love with my wife and decided to 'become respectable'. we married on 1/10/76....got our first mortgage that november and changed jobs for big money....from $5.15 an hour to $6.08 +25% shift differential ....funny how i can remember it sis...
for the next 3+ years i was good and faithful....and Mila wanted a baby....and we couldn't so we went from expert to expert. i had a whole in my life too...an empty spirit and i started looking seriously for TRUTH....and found something that was 'real'.... and Mila was pregnant...shouldn't have happened...but did. probably the roughest year we faced till...but that is getting ahead.... Jennifer came and Mila was happy....it took her a year to get back to speed....but i was happy....now things are getting a little foggy in my memory because i wanted to fill that hole and found truth and reality and power. for the next 11-12 years i slowly wadded into the pit not knowing what it really was....and power came with 'the voices'....
i had dreams and visions....i had visual imagery and out of body experiences.... and i wanted more....but there was a cost....suddenly i was 'told' to go beyond Zen to the real power of the mind...hindu mysticism and channeling.....and i balked and refused...and then i was in hell....and stayed there for i have no idea.... and i never missed a day of work....never missed a paycheck....never cheated on my wife....never hurt my daughter ...... but i was dying inside...3-4 months of complete insomnia because the voices could not be fought in my sleep.... so i changed....my wife suddenly was talking about a divorce, my daughter would not stay in the same room with me. and i was within a week of being fired and i knew it when i decided to get out...the voices/Voice said i had lost everything and had nothing left....so i got out my 357 and at 2-4 am...who knows... i loaded it and something strange happened....
a month or so earlier Mila was given a Little White book by some 'strange old ladies' ....
it was a Gideons Nurses New Testament and Psalms.... i threw it in the garbage....
as i loaded the gun i reached into 'the drawer'....the one we throw everything into and my hand came out with that book and it was opened to a page....
the first thing my eyes saw was .... Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O LORD.
2 Lord, hear my voice: let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications.
and i noticed the silence for the first time in months? years? and i went on to read....
3 If thou, LORD, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand?
4 But [there is] forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared.
and i asked could i be forgiven? and i asked GOD....and for the first time in my whole life i felt peace....
5 I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope. and i remembered the gospel of john and THE WORD made flesh and i remember weeping uncontrollably....
6 My soul [waiteth] for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning:
[I say, more than] they that watch for the morning.
7 Let Israel hope in the LORD: for with the LORD [there is] mercy, and with him [is] plenteous redemption.
8 And he shall redeem Israel from all his iniquities. and i believed it to the center of my being....and then i asked what i had done wrong and i looked again into that book and saw the other page.... Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it:
except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh [but] in vain.
2 [It is] vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: [for] so he giveth his beloved sleep.
3 Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward.
4 As arrows [are] in the hand of a mighty man; so [are] children of the youth.
5 Happy [is] the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. and there was my answer...the LORD builds....and i surrendered completely.
i must have read most to the psalms of assent....and fell asleep for the first time in only ABBA knows..... when exactly all this happened i can not say....because the battles to put thing right in my life were long and hard....but ABBA was merciful.... i began to study and to do what the 'red letters' said.....i was too naive and unchurched to know any difference. i began to pray and meditate. i began a bible study out of liberty university....did great until the teachings on the MOST HOLY SPIRIT.....found i was in great error according to their doctrine. ...the MOST HOLY SPIRIT said i would get over it and i heard ABBA laugh. so i walked out into the wilderness and learned at HIS FEET.
funny how when ABBA said i needed to be sharpened the first time i did not understand.....he sent me to a 'pentacostal' church where i 'labored' for 7 years and got nothing but a distaste for religion....amazing that when i first went there most of the 'people' made a lot of assumptions.....i had been 'saved', 'spirit filled', 'anointed' a long time....not really but outside of 'saved' i was not sure i understood their dialect of 'christianese'. but a little praying grandma kept inviting me to here care group meeting....
and one sunday that little voice said go.....so when she came to ask i said what do you want me to bring....she said just yourself....and i found myself in a three hour get together with the intercessors of that church.... now i talked to GOD and assumed everybody did....and it took minimal time to know i was dead wrong.....years later Grandma Dolores informed me that she was told to get me to her care group. ABBA just did not tell me about it....like i said i like HIS laugh.... now these were old warriors right down the line and the young ones were learning from them....and then i sat down...the lone male....and they were easy with me...the first week. Abby always knew when i was hearing, Dolores always knew i had a word, Marsha always knew when i had a song....Hope always knew when i was ready to be let loose in prayer . they also knew when it was time to leave....
but they are still on the wall. it seems they were given a bigger picture because i was not ready...but ABBA knows best..... the crux of the matter was that when i did things i did not completely understand they could explain the GIFTS without intimidation. i scared the daylights out of the pastor every time we got within reach. i did not know anything about being prophetic, i just spoke what i 'heard' in my spirit. the intercessors, like you sis knew it was ABBA.... so did pastor but was afraid to hear what he needed to hear....can't blame him now...i still pray for him.... and then there were the things they had never seen before.....that which went beyond a gift....they said i had 'mantles' and i said fine....they had peace and i had questions they had no answers to....and they said to WAIT>>>TRUST>>>OBEY..... not any easier now than then....
One last point....once in intercession while doing their usual binding and casting down something happened....i began to speak in tongues as they say and 'took' off...
i had never done it with the group....i thought it was just a 'vision' thing....you know...
but one lady 'saw me stand up wearing 'full armor'....another saw angels with drawn swords charging off to battle....many heard thundering in the sanctuary below the prayer room. To say it was a very quite place when i stopped and dropped my forehead to the ground. How long it was quiet i don't know but when i reared back up on my knees i knew something was wrong....14 people with 14 sets of emotions...a couple were pale and shaking....Hope had a smile three feet long and nodding her head as she waged her finger at me. Dolores laughed and Abby cried....the others i did not really notice.... and in the depths of my being i heard the CAPTAIN say...YES, IT WAS REAL.... and i learned that the SECOND HEAVEN....THE VALLEY OF VISION is as real, if not more real than the natural.
i hope you understand....if not i'll get over it.... it seems every step in my life ABBA was there and got me through.... the first WORDS i heard were IT"S ALL RIGHT, EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT....
peace
SHEMUEL