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Tubby Bitch

So what have these goons been up to? Read on... January 25 -- First and foremost, thanks to all you punk rawkers from Rhinelander that came and supported us last night for our first real show.  There were several people from the other bands who commented on the crazy crowd we drew, and they weren't kidding.  It was you motherfuckers from around here who got shit rocking right off the bat, and that was just awesome to see.  Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and shit.  Anyway, aside from a couple technical difficulties (we weren't using our own equipment and had no time to get used to it) the show was pretty fuckin' cool.  We played a few of our favorite songs, the crowd was great, and we got a pretty good response from the other bands as well.  (We've been invited to participate in the battle of the bands at the Lakeland High School in March, so once we get the details on that you'll hear about it.)  Unfortunately we missed the first band because we got there like 10 minutes before we had to play, but after our set we got to kick back and rock out to three more bands, which made for a lovely evening.  The Sweet Nothings put on a rockin' show and were really fun to watch, and were all really cool guys to boot.  As far as CJF's set goes, I was actually literally blown away.  I wasn't expecting anything like what I saw to be happening in bumfuck northern Wisconsin.  They had the whole crowd singing along, fists in the air, mosh pit, the works.  Not only was the performance top notch, but the music was heavy, melodic, and kept your head bobbing along to the rhythm the whole set.  I'd go see these guys again any day of the week.  Anyway, we forgot to bring a camera, so I don't think we have any pics of the show, but we did videotape our whole set.  We'll make a few copies and if people wanna see it we'll probably hook it up.  If you missed this show, not to worry.  There'll probably be more coming in the future.  Thanks again to all the kids who came to see us.  It really means a lot to see all these people make the drive just to watch us.  Fuckin' awesome.  Until next time, peace, love, live long and prosper.  January 7 -- It looks like Chet is safe for now from the pigs.  According to his parole officer, he's been behaving magnificently and working hard in school (uh, ok...) so I guess he's off the hook for now.  Which is very fortunate cause we've got ourselves a show in a couple weeks!  And not just some shindig in someone's garage either.  We're gonna be opening up an honest-to-goodness show for Minacqua's Cold January Farewell on Saturday, January 24 at the St. Germain town hall.  Following our act will be The Sweet Nothings and Rust Bucket, then CJF, who will be recoding a DVD of the performance.  CJF played this place last year and said it was fuckin' great, and with four bands playing there should be quite a few people there, so we're pretty fuckin' stoked.  This will be a really fun night, so make an effort to show up and be rocked.  Doors open at 6, music will last until well into the night.  I don't know if there will be any admission fee, but bring a couple bucks to be safe.  I'm not sure how to get to the place, but you can get the phone # and/or address out of any local phone book.  It's gonna be a really cool show, so make sure you come and shit.  We'll get somebody to take some pics of the gig for us, and those will eventually find their way onto this site, so we'll finally have some new shit on this sorry site soon.  As far as the lineup change goes, it looks like it won't happen.  Kevin recently informed us that he's moving back to his home state of Ohio sometime in the near or not-so-near future, so shit's gonna stay the way it is for now.  Also, I'm using different software now for this website nonsense, so I can update whenever the fuck I want.  That's all folks.  COME TO THE SHOW!  December 3 -- For some reason, this fuckin' software I'm using for this website is working today, and I'm home sick, so I thought I'd make some updates. First, the Chet Situation. Chet has to get a job. If he doesn't at least score some interviews or something, he'll be going to jail for the next nine months. He's been working on getting and turning in applications and what not, but no luck so far. We're getting right down to the wire here, so best of luck to Chet. I'm not sure what the hell we're gonna do if Chet has to go to jail. I guess we'll play without a bass player for a while. Which kinda brings me to my next topic. We've been considering a lineup change again, a little more seriously than we have in the past. It would put Josh on rhythm guitar and backup vocals and Kevin Jackson ("Skinny Puppy") on drums. Everything else would be the same. If Chet does indeed go to jail, having another guitar would at least help a little bit with filling that gap in our sound. Also, Kevin's a great drummer and it would be really cool to have him share some of his musical insight in making our songs. He also knows more about recording, mixing, etc, than any of us, so he'd be able to help us with that shit when we get to it. And with both Josh and Bob (and hopefully Chet soon) working, we'll hopefully be able to save up some cash for recording equipment or studio time, and we'll be able to record some of our new songs. Speaking of new songs. Bob's been writing songs like crazy, Josh has put together a couple tunes, and Jesse's even gotten back into shit, contributing some lyrics. All we need is some time to just sit and work on putting these songs together, and we'll be looking at quite a few more new songs. Our list of cover songs is also growing slowly. We've played a few shows in the past few months, but it's been pretty slow as far as gigs. After we get these new songs figured out and maybe throw in a few more good covers, we'll have quite a long set list. Probably an hour or so woth of music, in my best estimation. This means great shows, so if you or anyone you know has a party or some shit coming up and you want us to play, drop us a line. I think it's safe to say that the last couple shows we played were enjoyed by all, so you can talk to the folks who were at those if you don't believe me. So, in conclusion, INVITE US TO PLAY SOMEWHERE. People dig live music. It's always a hit, never fails to please. If you have live music at a party, it will automatically be cool. That's how it works. You people really don't realize how lucky you are. The opportunity to have great live music at your parties and social events, FOR FREE! You'd be a fool to pass this up! Whatever. We just wanna play some shows and shit, cause it's lots of fun for us. I think that's all for now. As new songs get finished, or shows come up, I'll try to get updates up as frequently as possible. We'll also try to get some new photos up, cause those old ones are just too fuckin' old. I'm out. Peace. September 24 -- Thanks to school starting and various commitments the band members have had, practice has been very difficult. If we're lucky we get in a few hours of good practice time a week, sometimes even less. The commitments will be continuting into the next month, and after that they'll start to let up. Also, website updates have been not difficult, but impossible. my computers are so fucked up these days I never know when I'm gonna get them to work. I got lucky today, but you may not see another update for months. I'm sure you'll get over it. Despite the schedule setbacks, we've been working on some new material. There's a couple new songs in the works. One of them is a fast song about George W, another one is slower and prettier, and then there's another fast, hard one. They're looking like they'll turn out to be good songs, and with all the money Bob's making, he'll be able to afford some recording equipment. He might end up having to buy a vehicle though, so there's still a question mark on the studio idea. After the little show we played at Bob's house a while back, There were a few suggestions from people that we should do something like that again one of these days. We'd like to play as much as possible, and we've got quite a few songs down now, so when we have more time available we might start playing at a party or two here and there. We'll kinda have to wait and see how stuff goes. Like I said, it might be a while until you see the next update, but you can keep yourself entertained with our forums. They haven't seen any activity for quite a while, so go write some shit. Until next time, stay cool, be happy, overgrow the gov't. Peace. July 2 -- As fate would have it, Bob got hit by a bus so the band hasn't been able to practice as much as we'd like. We still play every couple days when Bob's not fucking wrecked off his morphine, and we've got a bunch of cover songs down, plus some new shit. As of this posting, the cover songs are as follows: Roots Radicals by Rancid, Disorder and Disarray by Rancid, Journey to the End by Rancid, Santeria by Sublime, The Longest Line by NOFX, and American Jesus by Bad Religion. We might learn a few more, but we'll mostly be concentrating on the original shit. As far as originals go, we have the song we played at Nicolet for that contest, and a couple other new ones, in addition to all the shitty old songs, most of which you'll never hear again if you're lucky. In other news, there's been talk of a show coming up at the end of this month at the Minoqua skate park or something. I guess they're having a skate contest and some area bands are playing, including the likes of Cold January Farewell and Professor Hefner and the 18 Year Old Experiment. Our good friend Brent (possibly a future R*H axe-slinger?) has some connections as I understand it with folks from these bands and has said we might get an opportunity to perform. I haven't the foggiest idea what the exact date will be, or even if this shit is for sure, but when we learn more about it, bla bla bla bla bla...you know the drill. If this shit goes through, you'll hear about it for sure, one way or another. Hopefully we'll at least get to play a few songs or something, so if we do, BE THERE. Drop all your plans, forget all your obligations, dump your skanky girlfriend if you have to. GO TO THE SHOW. You won't be dissapointed (at least by all the other good bands there). More on this later. Until then, keep on keepin' on. Cheers. June 13 -- What can I say? Our drummer and best friend has returned to us, after an eleven-month hiatus, and is not only better looking than ever (and single, ladies), but is also a better drummer than any of us could've hoped. And here we were thinking we'd never see this kid again, much less get our pitiful band back off the ground. Well kids, like it or not, he's back and so are we, and we're ready to blow y'all away with our new shit. Things are looking better right now for R*H than they have in a long fucking time: Josh is back, he has a new drumset, everybody in the band has improved in their respective areas, we have a P.A., Bob has a job, and it's summer so we can practice all we want. Plus Josh has brought a bunch of cool little guitar riffs to the table, in addition to some lyrics, so we have a lot to work with for our new set of songs. As was mentioned earlier, we're going to record our next CD by ourselves. Bob's been saving up for recording eqipment, as well as studying up on recording technique and important shit like that. Consequently, we're going to be able to take our time with the recording, do it right, experiment more, et cetera and you folks will get a CD with better songs that might even sound good. As far as our lineup goes, it looks like Josh is sticking with the drums, and we're gonna see if Tom can stick around in Rhinelander long enough to be in the band. If not, we have other options, so it's very likely we'll have one more person in the band to play guitar eventually. We're still working on getting the new pics up. We have yet to get some new ones that include Josh, so we'll be working on that soon. I guess that's all the news for now, so I'll keep updating the site when anything cool happens. We'll be working hard right off the bat, so you can expect more frequent updates from now on. Cheers. May 7 -- I won't beat around the bush here, our show today sucked. Our only practice with Kevin was yesterday night, and we only got to work on the song for like 3 hours. We had it down pretty well, but we got unlucky today I guess. Right at the climax of the song, Kevin's drumstick decided to jump out of his hand, so we had to stop and shit. We still got second place though, because we were so good. Actually, there was only one other group besides us in the comp, so we fucking lost. I'm not gonna comment on the other group, because I think they were fucking awful. Actually, I will comment on them, because I think it's something that needs to be commented on. Does anybody really want another fucking "hard rock", Creed/ Puddle of Mudd/ Godsmack knockoff band? That's what these guys were. So painfully mainstream and typical I wanted to fucking leave the room while they were playing. I don't care that we lost. There were only two fucking bands for fucksake. It just pisses me off that the first place group was these trendy-ass boys with pretty hair playing totally unoriginal music. So, in conclusion, if you are in a band like the one I just described, STOP PLAYING THE SAME SHIT EVERYBODY ELSE IS AND DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT! A lot of the people who have listened to our old shit would say that we sound like the typical, generic pop-punk/ emo band or something, and would call me a hypocrite for saying what I am. Anyone who was at the show though and heard our new song can tell you that our shit's a lot different now, and pretty unique. We've changed a lot, and I'm expecting all our new stuff to be similarly different. Uh, right... Whatever. I'm out. April 24 -- Yes, I know nobody goes to this site, but I'm still gonna keep writing shit here BECAUSE I'M FUCKING DEDICATED TO KEEPING YOU FUCKING INFORMED YOU FUCKING INGRATES. Random Queero is going to take part in some kind of contest or something going on at Nicolet College on May 7th with the help of the illustrious Kevin Jackson on the drumset. All I know is that we have 5 minutes to play a song, we're representing our school (HAHAHAHAHAHA!), we're competing against like 10 other schools, the judge is an old lady who is most likely going to hate our music, and we get to get out of school for the gig. Bob wrote a new song, both the lyrics and music, that has the potential to kick righteous ass, but we haven't worked together on it yet. It's gonna have a guitar solo and shit, and it's not all repetative and shitty like our old stuff. Thank God. In addition, Bob is now the proud owner of a PA system, so when Josh comes back and we get some practice under our belts, we can start playing shows. Also, with the aquisition of a little more equipment, we'll be able to record. Well, it seems we have another reason to look forward to the summer. Besides the return of our drummer, our beloved friend and former bass player will be coming back to Rhinelander for the summer. Since he left, he's taken up playing the six string, and has become pretty proficient, so we made him an offer. If he promises to keep his clothes on when we play, stop picking his nose so much, and stop calling Josh fat, he can play rhythm guitar for us. Unfortunately, Tom's a tough cookie to crack, so after some negotiation we decided he can still take off his clothes. It finally looks like we're gonna get some new pics up. We'll keep the old ones up too of course, but the new ones are way cooler. Chet, Jesse, and Bob took a tour of the Rhinelander ghettos for their latest photo shoot with a couple of stolen disposable cameras. From the alleyways and gutters, to the fire escapes and rooftops, they conquered the town's roughest territory with guitars in hand. I don't know when we're gonna get all those up, but check back every now and then if you're interested. Anyway, it looks like we have a little more than a month until everyone's favorite Tubby Bitch returns for good and Random Hero dusts off the microphones and gets back to work. Until then, unless something cool happens, I'm out. Peace. March 30 -- Hey, um, I don't know if anybody will see this, or if anybody who sees this will care, but Josh is coming back for sure this time. We talked to his dad and shit, and he said they're not moving or something and Josh is coming back after school gets done in June. We're 100% positive this time. Plus he got a new Mapex drumset so he doesn't have to use the Peace of shit any more. Jesse wrote some new songs, Bob wrote some new songs plus a bunch of guitar shit, and Chet's still drinkin, stinkin, never thinkin and playin bass guitar and we're chompin at the bit for Josh to get his arse back to King St. so we can make some new tunes. I can imagine how much this news is probably pissing you off right now. Just when you thought we got our good-for-nothing stoner selves off the face of the earth, along comes Asian Rob who STILL HASN'T CUT HIS FUKE-ING HAIR saying they're not only still alive, BUT MAKING MORE MUSIC! Now for the few sorry folks who like us, there won't be another CD for a while, but it's gonna be totally different than our last one and a LOT better. We're gonna take our time with this shit and do it right. I'm gonna be contributing more lyrics probably, some songs will be more complicated and/or longer, there'll actually be some cool guitar riffs, backup vocals, and maybe even some solos, you never know. I think we're gonna redo a few old songs too, as well as throw in some reggae and acoustic shit so it'll be tons of fun. As for the site, i'm gonna have to fix up all kinds of stuff, cause it's just way too old and shitty. I don't know when that's gonna happen, but i'll work on it. That's pretty much it. So long. HOME

Ex-Random Hero bassist