“I’m Coming……”

 

  Shoji looked out over the horizon, as he tried valiantly to quell the uncertainty building up in him. The breeze whipped his black hair about as he gazed over the blue sea. The sand beneath his feet was soft and powdery, the sunset coming in from the east painting it in various shades of colour. Reds, violets, and oranges streaked across the atmosphere, bathing nearby edifices in a broth of red and fading light as day receded and night lay claim to the canvas of the sky.

 

  The 20-year-old shoved about doubts in his head, as he pondered whether or not he had made the right choice. He furrowed his straight eyebrows and sighed inwardly, feeling as if the whole world was on his shoulders. It weighed heavily on him, the situation his country was in. Yet he didn’t know if he had made the right choice, by putting country before himself. The future of the country, before the welfare of his own family? Had he done the right thing?

 

  He left it unanswered as the red and orange orb of life slowly set behind the horizon of the land of the Rising Sun. He turned around tentatively, and turned around again to see the sunset, wondering if he might ever see such a spectacle in his homeland again. 26^th June, 1968. Tomorrow would be the day of reckoning.

 

            *                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

 

  “War? What do you mean, ‘You’re going to War’?” The day was Tuesday, the 12^th day of December, 1967.

 

  “I feel I have to. It’s my duty to-”

 

  “No! There are lots of other ways you can serve the country! Getting killed in combat is not one of them!”

 

  She eyed her youngest son disapprovingly, searching the emeralds in her son’s head, looking for the logic behind his decision. Ryu, Kazuyushi and Aoki were already in boot camp, training for battle. She didn’t want to face the possibility of seeing all her sons die in a firefight.

 

  “Mother, the government has called for us to save the country. If we won’t protect our motherland, Who, Mother, who would?”

 

  “And what about Aerissa? What has she said?” Shoji thought about it for a while, and looked up at his mother from his chair. It was morning in their small home in Kobe. The soft sunlight peered in through the window, spraying stray sunbeams over the carpet of the living room. The house was nearly deserted, save for his 16-year-old sister, Sakura, who was dozing in her room. Shoji’s father had died 7 years ago, in a tragic car accident, leaving the household without a strong supporting hand. Shoji’s tall, 6-foot frame, soft features and determined character mirrored eerily the traits of his father. How he wished to have his father here to talk to and seek counsel.

 

  Shoji got up from his chair and sat beside his mother on the couch opposite his soft chair. He took her hand in his and lowered his face.

 

  “I will tell her, mother. She will know. I was planning to tell her this evening.”

 

  “Be careful with your words, my son.”

 

  “She will understand, mother.” He got up and went to the doorway, out of the house and to his garage. He mounted his Norton 350cc motorbike and with a kickstart and a rev, he began the journey to Osaka.

 

            *                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

 

  He knocked gingerly on the door, hoping that his Aerissa would answer it. She opened the door slowly, her eyes poking through the slit between the door and doorway. He could see her lips curl into a smile and she quickly unhooked the latch and chain. She slipped out the door and closed it behind her softly. Together, they rode out to Osaka Bay, the scenery slipping by at a fast pace. It was cold; the trees caked in snow, the road and pavement covered in slush. Winter was in full force, and Shoji didn’t intend to linger in it too long. They came to a stop at the harbour of Osaka, and made their way to a lonely pier. Sitting down next to her, he took her hand and squeezed it with gloved fingers. The sunset painted the pier in an array of colours, as they both settled down next to each other.

 

  “Aerissa, there is something I have to tell you,” he began hesitantly. She looked at him, puzzled, trying to figure out what he meant.

 

  “I’m listening, Shoji.”

 

  “Remember the call by our leader?” She guessed his intentions, and her face took on a mask of surprise, which melted into disappointment and anxiety.

 

  “Is it really something you want to do?” She asked, not sure if she wanted to know. “It’s not safe, Shoji. Will I get you back in one piece?” Her eyes seemed to peer right through him, as Shoji hesitated momentarily.

 

  “You will, Aerissa. I cannot just sit idly, while other outside powers try to threaten our country’s ideals and interests. I promise.”

 

  “The communists are dangerous. This is not a one-man crusade.”

 

  “No, it isn’t. And it won’t turn out that way. North Korea has fallen to them. The South Koreans are defending valiantly, but they won’t hold out for long. If they could, would they have asked us for help?” The grave summary of events soured the atmosphere, as they both kept quiet. Aerissa looked up at Shoji, and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

 

  “There are many others who could take your place instead.”

 

  “Then, it would be an insult to my honour. I am no coward. You of all people should know that. If others had this same attitude, what would become of us?” She turned away at the reprimand, and Shoji scolded himself for going overboard. He put an arm around her waist, trying to make amends.

 

  “I’m sorry.”

 

  “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you felt so strongly about it. I’m just afraid of losing you. Not just through war. Maybe you’ll find a pretty nurse and run off with her or something…” Shoji laughed at the ridiculous suggestion, and Aerissa couldn’t hold herself back either. When the laughter died down, they looked at each other and slid into the others’ arms.

 

  “You know very well that I wouldn’t.”

 

  “I love you, Shoji.”

 

  “I love you too, Aerissa.” They watched the boats, sunset and sea together, until light disappeared and night blanketed them. The lights from the city reflected and danced off the sea water, as Osaka settled down for the night. They stayed there a while longer, before they finally rode home under a beautiful moonlit sky.

 

            *                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

 

  27^th June, 1968. The airport was noticeably busy. Technicians were unusually detailed in their inspection of aircraft. Here and there, people were in a real big hurry on this summer day. Shoji and Kenji, or Ken, his best friend, stood in the departure hall of Tokyo Air Force Base. Families and friends of the two were the only one there, as the others had left after their sons who had already boarded the C-130 Hercules air transport that would bring them right to the heart of the battle; Seoul. Shoji looked over the scene, the 80lb backpack making him feel like he was sinking into the concrete floor. Ken was holding on tightly to his mother as tears flowed. Shoji did the same as he thought of the future and what it held for him.

 

  “Take care, Shoji. The world out there is perilous, my son.” Shoji kept on hugging her, his eyes turning watery as he realized how enormous his decision proved to be.

 

  “I know, mother. I will take care.” He let go of his mother, and walked over to where Aerissa stood. She smiled at him and wordlessly hugged him. The tears started again, as they held on for a long time. He kissed her lightly on the cheek, as the call for departure from the PA system resonated through the hall. Shoji let go of Aerissa and looked around at everyone again. He hugged Sakura, as she mumbled a token of good luck in between her sobs. Ken stood beside him as they both gave a mock salute to the small crowd. With a smile, they headed past the departure gate, and boarded the C-130.

 

  The engines let out an ear-bashing roar as the throttle was pushed to a maximum. The C-130 cruised down the runway and lifted off the ground, beginning its journey to Seoul, South Korea. Shoji glanced out of the small window he was sitting next to in the plane. The skyscrapers of Tokyo grew smaller and smaller as the turbo prop-powered aircraft climbed higher into the atmosphere. It would be a long journey, a fact Shoji seemed to acknowledge as he sat back and closed his eyes. He opened them again to take a look at Ken, who was sitting next to him.

 

 He had fallen asleep already. Shoji changed his focus of attention, and reflected on what lay ahead. Again, the question crept across his thoughts; had he done the right thing? He remembered the sadness and heartbreak this morning, when they received news of Kazuyushi’s and Ryu’s deaths. The atmosphere nearly reached the point where he wanted to just stay back. His mother’s protestations for him to go had dampened any further argument.

 

  Finally, he settled down to try and get some rest. As he closed his eyes to try and sleep at 7.30am, he uttered a short prayer and fell asleep.

 

            *                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

 

  It smelled, it was dark and it was damp.

 

  “They’ve got to be kidding, right?” The private’s remark went unnoticed as the rest of the 7^th Regiment of the Japanese Home Army surveyed their new surroundings. ‘THIS, is our BARRACKS?!’ Shoji thought to himself. So much for any hopes of sleep. In the distance, he heard gunfire and dull explosions.

 

  They had arrived to find a city under siege. The whole Northern Front of the Korean Defence Corps had been annihilated. Northern Seoul was in the hands of the enemy. Yet, the Koreans themselves felt uneasy at the ‘help’ that had arrived. Most remembered the World War II atrocities Japan had committed against the Koreans, including the forced conscription of thousands of women to be used as ‘comfort women’. Emotional baggage between the two countries was heavy. But both had a common enemy for now and they needed to work together to stop it.

 

  He dumped his duffel bag on to his ‘bunk’, or more accurately, a metal frame with a wire mesh and thin mattress. The barracks was just a group of buildings, each 40 meters long and around 20 meters wide and 10 meters high. They were based at a rather isolated end of Seoul Military Airport, towards the south of the city.

 

  Shoji walked out of the damp, smelly building and joined his friends on the edge of the runway. The atmosphere was tense- what else would it be if you were at war? – and the calm ones tried to suppress the growing but dulled panic that had spread through the expatriate band of fighters. He joined them in animated conversation as they sat in a circle on the tarmac.

 

  “You know, things don’t look too bright.” Ken remarked.

 

  “Yeah. Last I heard, they have captured the commander of the 82^nd Airborne squadron,” added Iwahara. Silence prevailed as nobody could think of anything to say. Finally, Shoji spoke up.

 

  “We can still win this.” Shen turned round to give him a long stare.

 

  “Really, Shoji?” The inquisitive look of Shen made Shoji hesitate as he tried to formulate an answer. “Shoji, they have the advantage right now. They control half of the northen front. Our forces are in retreat.”

 

  “Yes, we can. We would thank them and catch them in a crossfire. We could try guerilla-style. Kind of like an army of the shadows thing. That’s how the Poles fought the Germans back in ‘42 to’45.”

 

  “But the inevitable consequence of guerilla warfare is open war, which we are in right now. We can’t possibly go back to that.”

 

  “We could go both ways. We could start a massive offensive, then send small guerilla squads behind enemy lines and carry out sabotage missions or reconnaissance sorties at the same time. With the Offensive as a distraction, nobody would notice the small squads.” Shen nodded his head in defeat and smiled. Shoji smiled too, realizing he had just convinced his regiment commander.

 

  “I’ll talk to the generals about it, Shoji.”

 

   “Thank you, sir.” Shoji got up and started towards the mess hall. Shoji and the others looked on and soon got back to their animated dialogue. The sun began to set and it was already dark at 7.00pm. Then, a series of explosions and bright flashes resonated through the airport. Helicopters appeared and soon began hammering away at the base’s defenses. Troops soon began pouring in from the breached perimeter, all of them wearing red stars; communists. The 7^th Regiment reacted quickly enough. Shoji and his comrades rushed to get their Ak-46’s and combat gear ready.

 

  Everyone rushed to get their guns and put up a defense against the onslaught. Gunfire and explosions rang out through the area, as both sides fought for control. The Japanese soldiers fought bravely, but they were overwhelmed and overrun. A few managed to escape, but many were captured and executed. Seoul had fallen.

 

            *                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

 

  “Oh, God!”

 

  “Please, Aerissa, Believe me.”

 

  “No! We’re Japanese! How could we lose?!”

 

  “I’m sure he made it out of there alive.” It was the 8^th July. News had reached Kobe and Osaka of the fall of Seoul. The sleepy town of Kobe had been rudely shocked by the news. Reports of outbreaks of overnight hysteria were many but unconfirmed.

 

  It was late afternoon in Kobe. Aerissa had come to Shoji’s house for afternoon tea, hoping to cheer herself up after not seeing him for a week. She arrived, only to be shocked by the news.

 

  “I can’t believe he’s dead!”

 

  “No! Aerissa, they didn’t say who was dead. Look, there are survivors. We just have to hope for the best.” Aerissa sobered up, drying her damp eyes.

 

  “Yes. He must come back. He will.” She hoped.

 

            *                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

 

  The doorbell rang and Aerissa rushed to answer it. A tall, pale young man stood before her. His chin had grown stubble, and he looked haggard and tired. His lips slowly unfurled into a smile and his eyes betrayed unrestrained emotion.

 

  “Shoji! You’re back!” She flung into his arms and hugged her warmly. She grasped him as tightly as she could, her tears flowing, the feeling of happiness and joy overwhelming as she tried to fathom everything at once.

 

  “Hello, Aerissa.” She loosened her grip on him as she tried to look directly into his eyes again. The 20-year-old’s eyes were watery and she kissed him lightly on the cheek. They smiled and started laughing as they tried to control their elation.

 

  “I though you were dead.”

 

  “Why don’t we go to the pier?”

 

  “I don’t mind.” They got on Shoji’s Norton for the trip to Osaka bay. She felt like saying a thousand different things at once. But she didn’t want to disturb Shoji’s concentration. The trip seemed to take a lot less time than usual, but Aerissa was unduly concerned as she got off the motorcycle. They made their way to the exact same pier as before and sat down next to each other.

 

  “I can’t believe you’re back.”

  “I missed you, Aerissa.”

 

  “So did I.” Shoji looked into her eyes earnestly. Aerissa did the same.

 

  “And I love you.”

 

  “I love you too.” He turned away fro awhile, “Probably trying to control himself,” thought Aerissa. She waited patiently for him as he slowly turned back to face her. His eyes were visibly damper now, and he resumed his stare. They were silent for awhile, as each couldn’t think of what to say.

 

  “How did you get back?”

 

  “That doesn’t matter, Aerissa. I’ll always love you.”

 

  “And so will I. How was it there?”

 

  “I’m not at liberty to say. What’s important is that I’m back now, and I’ll never leave you again.”

 

  “I know you won’t.”

 

  “I kept on thinking about you in the middle of battle. I couldn’t get you out of my head.”

 

  “Do you think I could? Shoji, it was hell here without you.”

 

  “I’m sorry for that.” He leaned forward and looked her deeply in the eyes. He got up and held on to her hand tightly. He bent down to kiss her, when suddenly……

 

 

 

  Aerissa was rudely woken up by the sound of her alarm clock. She shook her head to get rid of the sleepy grogginess and smiled as she remembered her dream. ‘He must be coming back,’ she thought and practically jumped out of bed into her shower.

 

  The sunlight drifted in lazily from her bedroom window as she dressed herself and got prepared for the day. It was Sunday, so there was no work to do. She busied herself with whatever housework she could find. There was a bounce in her step as she moved about, hoping her prophetic dream would come true.

 

  It was with a rush of adrenaline and lightning fast reflexes that she answered the ringing doorbell. Slowly, she undid the batch and chain. The door creaked open and she prepared to embrace the person she loved without parallel. Finally, it revealed…….Ken?

 

  Aerissa nearly fell backwards in shock, but she steadied herself by the doorway. And army officer stood next to him and spoke up.

 

  “I’m sorry for bothering you, miss. But this man wished to see you immediately. I think you know who he is.”

 

  “Yes, officer. I do.” She turned to Ken, and asked in a soft voice, “Where…….is he, Ken?” The private looked at her, his dark eyes tinged with sadness. He looked as if he was going to cry. He took out something from his pocket and pressed it into Aerissa’s open hand. It was paper, dirty and blood stained. Aerissa looked up at Ken, then at the paper, then back at him. He was crying.

 

  “I’m sorry, Aerissa. I’m so sorry.”

 

            *                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

 

  . ‘Dearest Aerissa,

           

            I am writing this now, for I have nothing left to do but await my fate. I have no more ammunition. We have been cut off on all sides. I sincerely hope that Ken’s escape attempt is successful, so that I can give you my last words.

 

            Remember our time together in school? I do. I cannot help but recall the day you walked into my life, and how I could never get you to walk out again. I still remember it, even though it was five years ago. Five years hence and I know, we have never been stronger. Nobody can ever be like us, Aerissa, because no one even remotely resembles us. No one could ever come as close. You know that. So does everyone else. Maybe all those arguments were blessings in disguise, because we always become better off. We learned more that way. I always, and will forever regret not doing all the things I wanted to do. Buy my own car. Live in my own house. See my children graduate.  For us to marry, to grow old and happy together.

 

  But I know now that that will never be. That so many things I could have done will not come to pass. That I cannot atone fully for my wrongdoings. That I will have to break my promise by not returning home.

 

  There are no two ways about it. I am going to die, Aerissa, and there’s nothing I can do about it. There’s nothing any of us can do about it. I feel that fate has put me here; to fight for a cause I wouldn’t have understood a year ago. But I know now. I know that I have done the right thing. I have done my part for the country, and I will not die in shame.

 

  But don’t let anyone ever tell you other than that war is nothing more than a terrible and horrifying experience. I see people beside me fall as bullets tear through them. Men, who have brothers, sisters, wives, families at home, will not come home to their sides. Though I will not come back, I will always be with you. No matter where you are, I shall always be alive in your heart. I am always there. I’ll always love you.

 

Love,

Shoji’

 

            *                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

 

  Dark had descended on the small town as Aerissa made her way on her bicycle. The wet rain from her eyes couldn’t stop as she remembered him, their times together. The memories playing like a recorder stuck on repeat. Their first kiss, their first date. Their first anniversary. All came back in a tidal wave of remembrances as she cried and cried her heart out.

 

  No words of comfort could offer any measure of sympathy in comparison to the pain and loss that she felt. Nothing. Not even Shoji’s mother’s offerings of trying to cushion the burden that she bore. Aerissa bore it alone, like she had done for most of her life, til she met Shoji. And she wondered then, when her life had unraveled with on letter, how she would face life again.

 

  She pedaled faster, determined to wash away all her grief and suffering with just one move. The darkness seemed to amplify her sadness, ghostly images of the past coming at her from the shadows, immersing her in times gone by. Memories of no parallel and no chance of replication. Forever imbedded in her cranium.

 

  She reached the top of the windswept cliff and put her bike by a couple of rocks. Nothing could be seen, except the white surf of the crashing waves below, and the edge of the cliff. Her black hair was whipped by the winds, thin slivers of moonlight creeping through the clouds above. She made her way to the cliff edge and looked at the violent ocean, 60 feet below.

 

   The tears couldn’t stop. Finally, she stepped off the cliff.

 

  “I’m coming, Shoji. I’m coming…”