Shantal has seen plenty more than the average 8 year old, and plenty more than I would have ever wanted her to see. There was a time in her life when she was not sure if her daddy loved her because he would come back and forth in and out of her life. Some Christmases she would be showered with gifts and love from him and others he would not even send her a card. But through it all she has ALWAYS been a daddy's little girl. Her love for him has never changed.
I think she does suffer from low self esteem. She doesn't think she is pretty and being 'popular' at school is more important to her than how her so-called friends treat her. Seeing this really hurts me because I never wanted anything but the best for her. But, unfortunately, she-the innocent one-has suffered the most. She never asked to be born, and she had no control over whether her mother was 14 or 35 when she was conceived.
But Andrew (my husband and her daddy) has been sober for over 2 years now, and has been a consistent positive role model in her life. I am hoping that time, love and God will help her and our family put our past behind us. I try to mend her little outlook on life by taking time to talk to her and listen to her and let her know that I am her mom, but I am also her friend. And I am hoping that we can have a better relationship than I had with my mom and that Shantal will not make the mistakes I made. But, overall, Shantal is a normal 8 year old and one of the biggest gifts from God I have ever recieved. Looking into her bright beautiful eyes makes me realize what life is all about. LOVE
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