My first Christmas without you
I tried hard to let no one see my pain
But the pressure of not having you fin�ly broke through
I could see you opening presents at your grandma�s house
I could smell the needles from the Christmas tree
I could feel the happiness in your heart
I could hear you laughing at your favorite show on the TV
[Chorus]
Please don�t think this wasn�t hard for me
I didn�t, think that in your life I�d ever leave
But things were harder than I ever thought they could be
Don�t think that I�ve stopped loving you, I never will
I�m still your father, and you will always be
�daddy�s little girls
I went to dinner at a friend�s house that night
Their children running around laughing and singing
They looked so happy, it was Christmas-Eve
They kept asking me what Santa�d be bringing
I told them Santa knows just want they want
And they asked me what I wished he would bring me
I told them that I wished my little girls
could come home and see me
�just for a little while
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
They say if you leave your family you�ll go straight to hell
But I can tell you right now that isn�t true
For I haven�t really died and feel as though I�m already
Living here in hell now without you
I call you every day just to hear your voices
There are days when you won�t even say hello
And it hurts so bad that I can�t even talk to you
So I just hang up and scream into my pillow
I want you both to have a happy life
I want to be there to help you build your dreams
And even though I�m not there every night to tuck you in
I wish nothing but the best for my two little girls
[Chorus]