Today is not a very good day.  I didn't have a very good night last evening.  I am not sure what turn I want to take with my life.  I do know that I cannot take what is happening in it right now.  I have agreed to compromise, but Charlie as also agreed to compromise, so we will see how far each of us go.  I do not feel that I am a spoiled "rotten" person.  I don't feel that I am not a "good grandmother".  I don't feel that I am not a "good mother".  And, I don't feel that I am not a "good wife".  I guess I have to figure out just exactly what I am bad at.  My ex son-in-law called me the mother-in-law from hell.  Because I was always at his home and he didn't like it.  He was tired seeing me all the time.  At the time I was hurt and upset; but I can see why he said what he did.  I guess that I can be the "........from hell".  But when you are pushed and pushed into something that you don't agree with, then this is the title you must accept.  People know how to push the buttons and I have yet learned how to ignore those people.  But, with prayer I sure hope that I can become the person that I so much would like to be.  The better person.  I need help.  I need help to understand why my feelings are wrong.  I thought I loved my husband so much.  With all my heart and soul.  But each day I doubt this.  I see a man who is letting our relationship be destroyed.  I see a man who isn't willing to be a husband first.   I see a man who is breaking my heart.  I will be done working in about 6 weeks or so and I will be home.  Things will have to change.  I never thought that I would want a divorce; but it sounds better and better every day.  I am not sure what to do.

Dear Lord, Please guide me each day to do Your will.  Give me patience, do not make me bitter or nasty, let me think before I do something that will upset You.  Amen.

Today's reading:  Consider the quarry from which you were mined, the rock from which you were cut!  I was born a sinner---yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.  No one had the slighest interest in you; no one pitied you or cared for you.  On the day you were born, you were dumped in a field and left to die, unwanted.  But I came by and saw you there, helplessly kicking about in your own blood.  As you lay there, I said, "Live!"  And I helped you to thrive like a plant in the field.  He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire.  He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.  He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God.  When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners.  Now, no one is likely to die for a good person, though someone might be willing to die for a person who is especially good.  But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.  God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so very much, that even while we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when He raised Christ from the dead.  The faithful remnant my have felt alone because they were few.  But God reminded them of their spiritual heritage.  Abraham was only one person, but much came from his faithfulness.  If we Christians, even a faithful few, remain faithful, think what God can do through us!                                LAB note for Isaiah 51:1-2.