And so I realized. The decision is final: No more "but's" and "if's." Only this could save me from all the desperation and destruction as early as now: STOP THINKING ABOUT MEN, MOVE ON, AND STOP DREAMING ABOUT MARRIAGE!!!! I was able to come to the root of all my behavioral and emotional qualms. I realized that I end up acting stupid just to pleaase men. Oh, yes! MEN! Most women do! Insecurity, envy and incontentment all boils down to one thing: BEING NOTICED. Embarrassing but I was one of them: looking for Mr. Right, falling in love, finding your soulmate and all sorts of cliches -- they are definitely the reason why we have broken families, single/teenage moms, orphanage, broken dreams and global agony. I realized that god makes like go on because of love. Humanity makes life go round because of instinct. The human race makes life a shit and not God! For me, there are three kinds of humans: the sex fiends, the naive and innocent who asininely thinks that mere attraction already means love, and the singletons who never look for love but is living well. Sex fiends end up with AIDS. The naive ones end up with lacerated vaginas and as teenage parents who will probably raise worse species of them who will also impregnate each other. The last kind will end up unmarried, wealthy, gorgeous-looking, alone but happy (provided they don't throw their lives away like most bachelors do).

So, the decision is final. It's obvious: I was inflicted by the Singleton virus.