Today is just one of the humdrum days I am cursed to live.  Today is like no other days of my history.  A history concocted by somebody else.  A history abound of judgments and fallacies.  A history that lacks actualization.  This is the course of my history: godforsaken, pitiful, and somber.  A history that will never under my mandate.  A history that will never be mine.

Today is the same as yesterday and the yesterdays of my yesteryears.  I am walking in an obscure path – blindfolded—leading somewhere haphazard for I have surrendered my fate to those vouched happiness.

I obey but am not secured.  I believe but I do not understand.  I know how but I do not know why.  I hear yet I ignore.  I am liberated by thoughts but I have no freedom of will.  I talk but I do not express.  I answer but I do not question.  I pursue their dreams and not mine.  I am allowed to live but am forbidden to be alive.  I found the walls but not the bridges.  I am judged and not understood.  I know the world but not myself.  I am what they could have been but not who I am blessed to be.  I think but do not feel.  I apologize but am not apologized to.  I always give sincerely but I meagerly receive sincerity.  I was never warned but often threatened.  I smile but am not happy.  I win but am not victorious.  I breathe but I really do not exist.

Where is the light in this dark world of ego-centered, pride-prejudiced world?  Where am I going?  I reckon this dilemma will never end.  But if this is to cease someday, what would I have become then?  When would that be?  When I am already futile?  When my strength has already vanished?  When opportunities have dissipated?  When it is already too late to go back?

Today is just one of the humdrum days I am cursed to live.  I want a change.  I want my life.  I want to make my own history.