1.  Build the Fence - better yet, build two, with dogs and Agents patrolling the 500 yard No-Man's Land between them.  Anyone caught in the middle is shot, or, if apprehended, immediately deported. 

2.  Immediately cut off all federal, state, county and city benefits that illegal aliens may be receiving.  Illegals may not receive loans, financing, or any type of financial aid from any business or school.

3.  If an illegal is arrested for any felony - minimum 10 years in prison, followed by deportation.  If an illegal is arrested for any misdemeanor, minimum sentence of 6 months, followed by deportation.  If an illegal is pulled over for any minor infraction, such as a speeding ticket, immediate deportation.

4.  If an illegal arrives at any hospital for any reason, give sufficient treatment to save life, limb, or eyesight, followed by immediate deportation.  If a baby is born, the baby goes with the parents for the train ride home.

5.  Minimum sentencing for employers of illegal aliens one year.  All illegals on the payroll deported immediately, including any illegal associates or family members.

The most important aspect of my plan is not the punitive part, but rather the expedited citizenship program, or what I like to call "Operation Assimilation".  It goes like this;

1.  Any illegal alien can turn themselves in voluntarily to any local Police or Sheriff and sign up with total amnesty.  They are then taken (with no waiting period) to an enclosed facility to be given 6 weeks of American History classes, American economy and government schooling, and tutoring in English.  Another two weeks would be used for job placement assistance.  Once a job is found the candidate is placed on a one year probation in which they must hold the same job for the whole year, pass a 9th grade level English and reading class, and remain free of any legal problems.  At the end of the year, say the oath, and Voila! they're a citizen.  If at any time they fail to meet the requirements during their year of probation, immediate deportation.

Something tells me that with all federal benefits gone, and your buddies and family being deported everytime they come into contact with any government entity, the lines to join Operation Assimilation might get long.