Imbibing Knowledge
I am a sponge, drench me with your knowledge.
No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.
Romantic Cards
Hi I am Rahul Burman. I am pursuing B-Tech(CSE) from Galgotias College of Engineering Technology Greater Noida. I Like to code, play chess, surf the net and to read books. I listen to all type of music, AKON being my latest favorite.I am also an avid traveller having travelled the length and the breadth of India
Mechanical Engineers build weapons.
Civil Engineers build targets.
Too bad...... my college didn't have civil enginnering until this year.
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- How many first year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb? None. That's a second year subject.
- How many second year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the rest of the class copies the report.
- How many third year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb? “Will this question be on the final exam?”
- How many civil engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to do it and one to steady the chandelier.
- How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They simply redefine darkness as the industry standard.
- How many computer engineers does it take to change a light bulb? “Why bother? The socket will be obsolete in six months anyway.”
- How many mechanical engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Five. One to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, one to calculate the force required, one to design a tool with which to turn the bulb, one to design a comfortable-but functional- hand grip, and one to use all this equipment.
- How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one.
An engineer died and, although he was supposed to go to heaven, he was sent to hell.
He was in hell several weeks before the mistake was discovered. God picked up the hot line and called the devil and said "Hey, I hear that you got one of my people by mistake. An engineer. Send him on up."
The devil said, "I've decided to keep him. So far he has designed a high speed elevator to the surface, redesigned the plumbing system, and next week we start construction on the new air conditioning system he planned."
God was pretty upset. He said, "Look I want him up here now, or I'll sue!"
The devil said, "Oh yeah? Where are you gonna get a lawyer?"
Raunak I told you choose engg otherwise you will end in Hell.
He He Heeee HEEEEEEEE
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There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines.
They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who has solved so many of their problems in the past.
The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, "This is where your problem is". The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for this service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded briefly:
- One chalk mark $1
- Knowing where to put it $49,999
It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.