Our quasi-coach Mr. White
Sometimes organized, often not quite,
We want our ballots, pizza, and candy,
And a little debate help might come in handy.
Notwithstanding your skills in a van,
There's a few things you should understand:
Seatbelts and speed limits are the law.
It's a good thing my mom never saw.
Hand and the wheel, looking good together,
Especially in inclement weather.
When your five burgers fall on the floor,
And your Diet Coke isn't there anymore,
Don't take it out on us.
Stop being cheap and hire a bus!
Swensons', the Thirsty Dog, and Hardees
Cause you to rack up the tardies,
Like the time you left us at Stark Tech.
We were both a nevous wreck.
We're glad you let us listen to rap
While you struggled to read the map.
But when you're trying to find our hotel room,
We'd appreciate it if you'd turn up the VOLUME!
Running our lawnmower at the Red Roof Inn
At 6:30 our journey was to begin.
Your nickname is "Stacks" but it should be "Shady;"
You don't want to judge, so you hire Katie.
You just can't pin "Bob from Shaker" down;
We look and we look and you cannot be found.
You hit a new low
When you dropped us at Stow,
And then there was the Glenbrooks fiasco,
A tournament to which we never did go.
And of course there's the time you pulled off a switch
So we couldn't go to Austintown-Fitch.
But after all this, now we're resigned:
If we want to go somewhere, then we're in a bind.
NCFL's and Northwestern are out.
We won't get to Nationals without a doubt.
We've been begging since the beginning of the year
And whenever we ask, you only say "Rhwioeer!"
We came to school on our summer vacation
To be greeted with a sinking sensation
When we discovered that you weren't here.
We didn't come close to shedding a tear.
We were out for blood,
And your name was mud.
The thing which makes it even less fair,
You didn't even become a millionaire!
No Regis for you, Tinky-Winky instead,
Consequently, you were forced to keep us well fed.
You pleaded and begged with the Zazu Pitts
To get us to go on those John Carrol trips.
But did you give us the reward for our endeavor?
When did we get that evidence? Never!
Only after the first tournament did we get files on T,
Not what you'd expect from someone who's been on Jeopardy!
Tubs are not tables--keep that in mind.
Dashi's 44 dollars you STILL need to find.
The year is over for single sex err.
Standards of course were superior!
We seniors will leave and get out of your hair,
Yet we'd like you to know that we really do care.
You get us so angry that we could spit,
But through it all, we've got to admit
The only reason our team is so great
Is cuz we've got a coach who's really first rate.
We can complain till we're blue in the face,
But nobody else could ever take your place.
