"Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to worry at night." -Leo Aikman

"The shortest distance between two points is under construction." -Noelie Alito

"As a child, one looks for compliments. As an adult, one looks for evidence of effectiveness." -Ben Bradlee

"One good thing about being young is that you are not experienced enough to know that you cannot possibly do the things you are doing." -Gene Brown

"There is never a better measure of what a person is than what he does when he is absolutely free to choose." -William M. Bulger

"If Noah had been truly wise, he would have swatted those two flies." -Helen Castle

"There are two kinds of people: the ones who need to be told and the ones who figure it out all by themselves." -Tom Clancy

"Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find it out." -Frank A. Clark

"Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal." -E. Joseph Cossman

"Everything looks impossible for the people who never try anything." -Jean-Louis Etienne

"Success has a simple formula: do your best and people may like it." -Sam Ewing

"Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble." -Dennis Fakes

"You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do." -Henry Ford

"Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally." -David Frost

"There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there." -Indira Ghandi

"Don't be afraid to take big steps. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps." -David Lloyd George

"Live so that your friends can defend you, but never have to." -Arnold H. Glasow

"Not where we stand, but in what direction we are moving." -Goethe

"It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane." -June Henderson

"Those who agree with us may not always be right, but we admire their astuteness." -Cullen Hightower

"We all admire the wisdom of people who come to us for advice." -Jack Herbert

"It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water." -Franklin P. Jones

"Yesterday is the past. Tomorrow is the future. But today is a gift. That's why they call it the present." -Bil Keane

"The surest way to be late is to have plenty of time." -Leo Kennedy

"Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel across the country from coast to coast without seeing anything." -Charles Kurait

"Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoeful of slush." -Doug Larson

"I am a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work the more I have of it." -Stephen Leacock

"Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us everyday." -Sally Loch

"Putting your best foot forward at least keeps it out of your mouth." -Morris Mandel

"Frustration is when the same snow that covers the ski slopes makes the roads to them impossible." -James Holt McGavran

"There is always hope when people are forced to listen to both sides." -John Stuart Mill

"The moment of victory is much too short to live for that and nothing else." -Martina Navratilova

"Where we come from in America no longer signifies. It's where we go, and what we do when we get there, that tells us who we are." -Joyce Carol Oates

"Regardless of how much patience we have, we would prefer never to use any of it." -James T. O'Brien

"If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now." -Marie Osmond

"Nothing in fine print is ever good news." -Andy Rooney

"The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more." -Jonas Salk

"A man can succeed at anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm." -Charles M. Schwab

"Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to." -George Seaton

"If you take too long in deciding what to do with your life, you'll find you've done it." -Pearl Shaw

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try." -Beverly Sills

"It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little. Do what you can." -Sydney Smith

"No matter what happens, there's always somebody who knew it would." -Lonny Starr

"Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will." -James Stephens

"Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm." -Publius Syrus

"If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one." -Mother Teresa

"What I admire in Columbus is not his having discovered a world but his having gone to search for it on the faith of an opinion." -A. Robert Turgot

"All you really need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure." -Mark Twain

"The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause." -Mark Twain

"When the mouth stumbles, it is worse than the foot." -West African Proverb

"Sports serve society by providing vivid examples of excellence." -George F. Will

"The average man will bristle if you say his father was dishonest, but he will brag a little if he discovers that his great-grandfather was a pirate." -Bern Williams

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon

"The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action." -Hartley

"Never judge a book by its movie." -J. W. Eagan

"I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace, that two are called a policy debate team, and that three or more become a Congress." -Anonymous

"When you're arguing with a fool, make sure he isn't doing the same thing." -Unknown

"If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Begin at the beginning and go on to the end. Then stop." -Lewis Carrol

"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." -Bumper Sticker

"It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats." -Bumper Sticker

"There is some dignity about an acquirement, because it is a product of your own effort and labor. To be able to do a thing merely by the grace of God and not by your own effort transfers the distinction to our heavenly home - where possibly it is a matter of pride and satisfaction, but it leaves you empty and bankrupt." -Mark Twain

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." -Viktor Frankl

"The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from support of a cause we believe to be just." -Abraham Lincoln

"You cannot fight hard unless you think you are fighting to win." -Theodore Roosevelt

"One man defending his homeland is more powerful than ten hired soldiers." -Robin Hood: Prince of Theives

"Only those Americans who are willing to die for their country are fit to live." -Douglas MacArthur

"Common sense is in spite of, not the result of, education." -Victor Hugo

"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time." -Abraham Lincoln

"You can fool too many of the people too much of the time." -James Thurber

"He who imagines he can do without the world deceives himself much; but he who fancies the world cannot do without him is still more mistaken." -La Rouchefoucauld

"Forty million frenchmen can't be wrong." -Anonymous

"As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free." -Julia Ward Howe

"I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cusion." -Henry David Thoreau

"God save me from my friends, I can protect myself from my enemies." -Marshal de Villars

"Eat right, exercise, die anyway." -Bumper Sticker

"God created man, and man, being a gentleman, returned the favor." -Inherit the Wind

"All motion is relative. Perhaps it is you who has moved away - by standing still." -Inherit the Wind

"An idea is a greater monument than a cathedral. And the advance of man's knowledge is more of a miracle than the parting of waters." -Inherit the Wind

"I do not think about things that... I do not think about." -William Jennings Bryan

"When you're not out practicing, someone else is. And when you meet that person, he's going to beat you." -Bailey

"There's no I in TEAM." -Nike

"After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an auto accident, it makes you wonder about history." -Bits & Pieces

"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." -Woody Allen

"Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own." -Doug Larson

"Irony is when you buy a suit with two pairs of pants, and then burn a hole in the coat." -Unknown

"Be thankful for problems. If they were less difficult, someone with less ability might have your job." -Bits & Pieces

"It is easier to leave angry words unspoken, than to mend a heart those words have broken." -Unknown

"The title of human being precedes and out-ranks every other." -Mary Livermore

"People of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things." -Smith

"What joy or sadness often springs from just the simple little things." -Willa Hoey

"The time you need to do something is when no one else is willing to, when people are saying it can't be done." -Berry

"The same sun that melts the wax hardens the clay." -Amy Grant

"A smile happens in a flash, but the memory of it can last a lifetime." -Unknown

"You keep on getting what you've been getting when you keep on doing what you've been doing." -Unknown

"The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by a single hour." -Japanese Proverb

"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it." -Somerset Maugham

"The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor." -Vince Lombardi

"Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do." -John Wooden

"We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude." -Ozick

"Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anyone else expects of you." -Henry Ward Beecher

"The biggest mistake you can make is to believe you work for someone else." -Unknown

"Choose a job you like and you will never have to work a day in your life." -Confucius

"Always be a little kinder than necessary." -James M. Barrie

"A diamond is a chunk of coal that made good under pressure." -Unknown

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." -Unknown

"I'll bet the time ain't far off when a woman don't know any more than a man." -Will Rogers

"The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who has done you a small favor wish he might have done you a greater one." -Russell Lynes

"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle." -Kelly

"True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable." -Gentry

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." -Dale Carnegie

"Do not think you are on the right road just because it is a well beaten path." -Unknown

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved." -George MacDonald

"Anger does as great damage to the vessel it is stored in as it does to anything it is poured upon." -Unknown

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something and what I should do, and can do, by the grace of God, I will do." -Unknown

"The ones whom you should try to get even with are the ones who have helped you." -Unknown

"If you cannot lift the load off another's back, do not walk away. Try to lighten it." -Frank Tyger

"I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth doing, but mostly because I'll never have to do it again." -Mark Twain

"Go that way really fast. If something gets in your way, turn!" -Better Off Dead

"Strategies are okayed in boardrooms that even a child would say are bound to fail. The problem is, there is never a child in the boardroom." -Victor Palmieri

"Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders." -Sloan Wilson

"To succeed it is necessary to accept the world as it is and rise above it." -Michael Korda

"As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master." -Abraham Lincoln

"You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel good about your life - so that if it were over tomorrow, you'd be content with yourself." -Seymour

"One must never be in haste to end a day; there are too few of them in a lifetime." -Dale Rex Conan

"Silences make the real conversation between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts." -Unknown

"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." -Arthur Conan Doyle

"It is not the function of our Government to keep the citizen from falling into error; it is the funtion of the citizen to keep the government from falling into error." -Robert H. Jordan

"We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the vitriolic words and actions of the bad people, but for the appalling silence of the good people." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

"We will bury you." -Nikita Krushchev

"If government be founded in the consent of the people, it can have no power over any individual by whom that consent is refused." -William Godwin

"Every snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty." -Stanislaw J. Lee

"It's almost impossible to overestimate the unimportance of some things." -John Logue

"We worry about what a child will be tomorrow, yet we forget that he is somebody today." -Stacia Tauscher

"Better to be occasionally cheated than perpetually suspicious." -B. C. Forbes

"Often we have no time for our friends but all the time in the world for our enemies." -Leon Uris

"We may pass violets looking for roses. We may pass contentment looking for victory." -Bern Williams

"No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." -Calvin Coolidge

"Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom." -William Pitt

"Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his." -Ronald Reagan

"Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he had run unopposed he would have lost." -Mort Sahl

"Liberty without learning is always in peril, and learning without liberty is always in vain." -John F. Kennedy

"We clamor for equality chiefly in matters in which we ourselves cannot hope to obtain excellence." -Eric Hoffer

"Should the police actually succeed in eliminating all crime, they will simultaneously succeed in eliminating themselves as a necessary adjunct to society, and no organized force of power will ever eliminate itself willingly." -Sir James Wheatstone

"Man is stark mad; he cannot make a flea, and yet he will be making gods by the dozen." -Michel de Montaigne

"If triangles made a God, they would give him three sides." -Montesquieu

"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about." -Oscar Wilde

"If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm." -Yiddish Proverb

"Fear of becoming a has-been keeps some people from becoming anything." -Eric Hoffer

"Thrusting my nose firmly between his teeth, I threw him heavily down on top of me." -Mark Twain

"Just think how happy you would be if you lost everything you have right now, and then got it back again." -Frances Rodman

"Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed." -Mark Twain

"Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and be proven one." -Mark Twain

"Life is what happens while you make other plans." -John Lennon

"If a man has not found something to die for, he is not fit to live." -Martin Luther King

"Trust takes years to win and seconds to lose." -Laurel Culter

"You learn more from your accidents than anything you could ever learn in school." -Billy Joel

"We have met the enemy and it is us." -Pogo

"If only we could stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time." -Unknown

"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation." -Jean Keir

"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be considered half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult." -Charlotte Whitton

"You wouldn't be so worried about what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they actually do." -Unknown

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." -Top Gun

"I know that life is unfair. I just wish it would be unfair in my favor." -Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." -Robert Frost

"A friend is a person who knows all about you, but likes you anyway." -Unknown

"If you lower your standards, you deserve everything you get." -Thomas Meohn

"Even when opportunity knocks, a person must get off his rear and answer the door." -Ann Landers

"Tact is the art of making guests feel at home when you wish they really were." -Sarah Kingham

"Success is the best revenge." -Vanessa Williams

"Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you've got it made." -George Burns

"We may have gotten here on different ships, but we're in the same boat now." -Michael Collier

"Man, unlike animals, has never learned that the sole purpose of life is to enjoy it." -Samuel Butler

"I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." -Voltaire

"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." -Benjamin Franklin

"Give me liberty or give me death." -Patrick Henry

"May you live all the days of your life." -Swift

"There is so much good in the worst of us and so much bad in the best of us that it behooves us all not to talk about the rest of us." -Unknown

"A liar is not believed even though he tell the truth." -Cicero

"One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man." -Elbert Hubbard

"Modesty is the only sure bait when you angle for praise." -Chersterfield

"And don't you ever let me catch you talking to me again!" -Ken Ludwig, Crazy For You

"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." -Anonymous

"No one is exempt from talking nonsense; the misfortune is to do it solemnly." -Montaigne

"Nothing's new, and nothing's true, and nothing matters." -Lady Morgan

"Two men look out through the same bars: one sees the mud, and one the stars." -Frederick Langbridge

"Oratory is the power to talk people out of their sober and natural opinions." -Chatfield

"I always voted at my party's call, and I never thought of thinking for myself at all." -W. S. Gilbert, H. M. S. Pinafore

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." -Sydney J. Harris

"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked me for my autograph." -Shirley Temple

"Do or do not. There is no try." -Yoda

"Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure." -Earl Wilson

"Results! Why, man, I have gotten lots of results. I know several thousand things that won't work." -Thomas A. Edison

"I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours." -Jerome K. Jerome

"We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." -T. S. Eliot

"You have no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself - and how little I deserve it." -W. S. Gilbert

"Lives of great men all remind us we can make our lives sublime, and, departing, leave behind us footprints on the sands of time." -Longfellow

"It matters not whether you win or lose; it matters whether I win or lose." -Darin Weinberg

"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." -Darin Weinberg

"Good behavior is the last refuge of mediocrity." -Henry S. Haskins

"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in life has a function." -Garrison Keillor

"I'm not a vegetarian because I like animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." -A. Whitney Brown

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." -Rodney Dangerfield

"If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything." -Bill Lyon

"I owe my success to having listened to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite." -G. K. Chesterton

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying." -Woody Allen

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." -Albert Einstein

"If someone says can't, that shows you what to do." -John Cage

"Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards." -R. A. Dickson

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first." -Mark Twain

"Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of it very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective." -P. J. O'Rourke

"Is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's blunders?" -Friedrich Nietzeche

"Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy afternoon." -Susan Ertz

"Intellectual brilliance is no guarantee against being dead wrong." -David Fasold

"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target." -Ashleigh Brilliant

"Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when a man has only one idea." -Alain

"You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake." -Jeannette Rankin

"It is a disconcerting thought to think that it might be only an abstract concept, called law, which is preventing a large segment of society from killing each other." -Eli Khamarov

"Academia forcibly tells you about all the great men who have changed the world for the better. But they wouldn't notice him if he were standing in front of them." -Eli Khamarov

"Whatever the torture of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse." -Isaac Asimov

"No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you will see why." -Mignon McLaughlin

"The printing press is either the greatest blessing or the greatest curse of modern times, sometimes one forgets which it is." -J. M. Barrie

"You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." -John Morley

"What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?" -Dr. Robert Schuller

"It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are, the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others." -Joseph Addison

"Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others simply because you were born in it." -George Bernard Shaw

"My own mind is my own church." -Thomas Paine

"It is the mark of an educated man to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." -Aristotle

"If you are not fired with enthusiasm, then you will be fired with enthusiasm." -Vince Lombardi

"Don't be so humble - you are not that great." -Golda Meir

"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so." -Bertrand Russell

"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." -General George Patton

"How can I lose to such an idiot?" -Aaron Nimzovich

"Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in ocean level wouldn't cure." -Ross MacDonald

"In the long run we are all dead." -John Maynard Keynes

"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names." -Elbert Hubbard

"A word to the wise ain't necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice." -Bill Cosby

"Nature and Nature's laws lay hid in night: God said, 'Let Newton be!' and all was light." -Alexander Pope
"It did not last: the Devil shouting 'Ho. Let Einstein be,' restored the status quo." -Sir John Collings Squire

"I love mankind; it's people I can't stand." -Charles Schultz

"The best use of life is to use it for something that outlasts life." -William James

"Kindness is loving people more than they deserve." -Joseph Joubert

"It's when the fish opens his mouth that he gets caught." -Unknown

"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time." -George Bernard Shaw

"I am looking for a lot of men who have an infinite capacity to not know what can't be done." -Henry Ford

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." -Erica Jong

"One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time." -Andre Gide

"Here is the test to find out if your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't." -Richard Bach

"Have a place for everything and keep the thing someplace else; this is not a piece of advice, it is merely a custom." -Mark Twain

"When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half." -Gracie Allen

"People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Ben Franklin said it first." -David H. Comins

"Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny." -Kin Hubbard

"If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married." -Katherine Hepburn

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter." -Sir Winston Churchill

"Do not do unto others as you would that they would do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." -George Bernard Shaw

"The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it." -Harry Emerson Fosdick

"Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it." -Robert Heinlein

"He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not is a slave." -William Drummond

"I will not retreat a single inch and I will be heard." -William Lloyd Garrison

"Be sure you are right, then go ahead." -David Crockett

"If you would wish another to keep your secret, first keep it yourself." -Seneca

"The man who lives for self alone lives for the meanest mortal known." -Joaquin Miller

"It is a great misfortune neither to have enough wit to talk well nor enough judgment to be silent." -La Bruyere

"Blessed are those who have nothing to say, and who cannot be persuaded to say it." -Lowell

"Come home with your shield or on it." -Spartan Saying

"Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -Schiller

"In general those who have nothing to say contrive to spend the longest time in doing it." -Lowell

"You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it in himself." -Galileo

"A teacher who is attempting to teach without inspiring the pupil with a desire to learn is hammering on cold iron." -Horace Mann

"It is better to have a hen tomorrow than an egg today." -Thomas Fuller

"Live and let live." -Scottish Proverb

"The more I see of other countries the more I love my own." -Mme. de Stael

"Constantly choose rather to want less, than to have more." -Thomas A. Kempis

"The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes." -Swift

"What millions died - that Caesar might be great." -Campbell

"Suffer women once to arrive at an equality with you, and they will from that moment become your superiors." -Cato the Censor

"For God's sake give me the young man who has brains enough to make a fool of himself." -Stevenson

"Never put off till tomorrow what you can manage to wriggle out of today." -Doug Larson

"Half the failures in life arise from pulling one's horse as he is leaping." -Julius Charles Hare and William Augustus Hare

"Courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to carry on with dignity in spite of it." -Scott Turow

"Most people are neither for you nor against you; they are thinking about themselves." -John W. Gardner

"We are born with our eyes closed and our mouths open, and we spend our whole lives trying to reverse that mistake of nature." -Dale E. Turner

"Nothing dates faster than yesterday's attempts to be controversial." -Jonathan Coe

"Some of the greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible." -Doug Larson

"Life is pretty simple: You do some stuff. Most fails. Some works. You do more of what works. If it works big, others quickly copy it. Then you do something else. The trick is in the doing something else." -Tom Peters

"You are smarter than the government, so when the government is paying you to do something you wouldn't do on your own, it is almost always paying you to do something stupid." -P. J. O'Rourke

"All truly wise thoughts have been thought already a thousand times." -Goethe

"Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears old age." -Chinese Proverb

"I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of." -Clarence Darrow

"By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day." -Robert Frost

"What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do." -Bob Dylan

"Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live." -Margaret Fuller

"Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It's cheaper." -Quentin Crisp

"I think I'll learn more from listening. Anything I would say I already know." -Student

"When you don't have a good reason for doing a thing, you have a good reason for letting it alone." -Unknown

"A three year old is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm." -Bill Vaughan

"Swallow a toad in the morning and you will encounter nothing more disgusting the rest of the day." -Unknown

"The liar's punishment is not that he cannot be believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else." -George Bernard Shaw

"The heart has its reasons that the mind cannot know." -Pascal

"Kill one man and you are a murderer. Kill millions and you are a conqueror. Kill everyone and you are God." -Jean Rostand

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." -Rich Cook

"In every child who is born, under no matter what circumstances, and of no matter what parents, the potentiality of the human race is born again." -James Agee

"We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that the savage has, because we know how it is made. We have lost as much as we have gained by prying into that matter." -Mark Twain

"USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population." -David Letterman

"Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason." -Orson Welles

"Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die." -Eli Khamarov

"It's amazing what can be accomplished when no one cares who gets the credit." -Tom Coughlin

"I bring out the worst in my enemies and that's how I get them to defeat themselves." -Roy Cohn

"When all else fails, immortality can always be achieved through spectacular error." -John Kenneth Galbraith

"There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact." -Arthur Conan Doyle

"Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence." -Manley

"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot." -Steven Wright

"Instead of loving your enemy, treat your friend a little better." -Edgar Watson Howe

"I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. It isn't supposed to work. We are supposed to work it." -Alexander Woolcott

"More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly." -Woody Allen

"War will cease when men refuse to fight." -Unknown

"The significance of man is that he is insignificant and is aware of it." -Carl Becker

"A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg." -Samuel Butler

"Only a fool would make the bed everyday." -Nancy Spain

"The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not." -George Bernard Shaw

"There is no security on this earth, there is only opportunity." -Douglas MacArthur

"Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it." -Don Marquis

"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." -Fred Allen

"How beautiful it is to do nothing and then rest afterward." -Spanish Proverb

"When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth." -Cynthia Heimel

"If you're going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it." -Leo Rosten

"Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it." -Salvador Dali

"It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous." -Robert Benchley

"The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge." -Daniel J. Boorstin

"The sun set without thy assistance." -The Talmud

"Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing." -Robert Benchley

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." -Thomas Edison

"Many of life's failures are people who didn't realize how close they were to success when they gave up." -Thomas Edison

"We are here on this earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know." -W. H. Auden

"The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out." -Thomas Babington Macaulay

"I have always felt that laughter in the face of reality is probably the finest sound there is... In this world a good time to laugh is any time you can." -Linda Ellerbee

"It's better to be boldly decisive and risk being wrong than to agonize at length and be right too late." -Marilyn Moats Kennedy

"Today's greatest labor saving device is tomorrow." -Tom Wilson

"You don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note." -Doug Floyd

"Government cannot give to people what it does not first take away from people. And that which one man receives without working, another man must work for without receiving." -Kenneth W. Sollitt

"When it comes right down to it, wherever you go, there you are. Whatever you wind up doing, that's what you've wound up doing. Whatever you're thinking, that's what's on your mind." -Jon Kabat-Zinn

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." -Nelson Mandela

"When we realize that the best we have to bring to any situation is being just who we are, we relax." -Anne Wilson Schaef

"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment." -Dorothy Nevill

"A democratic government is only as strong as the alert conscience of its people." -Charles W. Tobey

"You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation." -Plato

"Never miss an opportunity to keep your mouth shut." -Robert Newton Peck

"Real success is finding your lifework in the work that you love." -David McCullough

"Never be frightened by those you assume have more talent than you do." -Jeffrey Archer

"It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them." -Pierre de Beaumarchais

"I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way." -Robert Frost

"If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion." -George Bernard Shaw

"There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side." -Oscar Levant

"What the world really needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left." -Oscar Levant

"A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant." -Wilson Mizner

"It was one of those plays in which the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly." -Robert Benchley

"The covers of this book are too far apart." -Ambrose Bierce

"You raise your voice when you should reinforce your argument." -Samuel Johnson

"There is no point in having an argument with a man so stupid he doesn't know you have got the better of him." -John Raper

"George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie." -Mark Twain

"Youth is such a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children." -George Bernard Shaw

"You can't hold a man down without staying down with him." -Booker T. Washington

"The problem with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat." -Lily Tomlin

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." -Will Rogers

"The best car safety device is a rearview mirror with a cop in it." -Dudley Moore

"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -Adolf Hitler

"I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either." -Jack Benny

"I've made up stuff that's turned out to be true. That's the spooky part." -Tom Clancy

"The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life." -Muhammad Ali

"It's better to be a coward for a minute than dead for the rest of your life." -Irish Proverb

"Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber." -Plato

"The last temptation is the greatest treason: To do the right deed for the wrong reason." -T. S. Eliot

"Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances." -Thomas Jefferson

"How wonderful it is that we do not know what tomorrow will bring." -Aung San Suu Kyi

"Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible; but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary." -Reinhold Niebuhr

"We don't have to make the earth a paradise - it is one. We have only to make ourselves fit to inhabit it." -Henry Miller

"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or self-confidence." -Robert Frost

"The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all." -Leo Rosten

"An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe it." -Don Marquis

"I am unfaithful to my own possibilities when I await from a change of circumstances what I can do on my own initiative." -Karl Jaspers

"Once you accept the fact that you're not perfect, then you develop some confidence." -Rosalynn Carter

"It is best in the theatre to act with confidence no matter how little right you have to it." -Lillian Hellman

"Those who are quite satisfied sit still and do nothing; those who are not quite satisfied are the sole benefactors of the world." -Walter Savage Landar

"If we are ever in doubt about what to do, it is a good rule to ask ourselves what we shall wish on the morrow that we had done." -Sir John Lubbock

"Certitude is not the test of certainty. We have been cocksure of many things that were not so." -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

"The circumstances of the world are so variable that an irrevocable purpose or opinion is almost synonymous with a foolish one." -William H. Seward

"Some people strengthen society just by being the kind of people they are." -John W. Gardner

"Nothing's so mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas." -Kin Hubbard

"The moment you grab someone by the lapels, you're lost." -Burt Reynolds

"The man who sees both sides of a question is a man who sees absolutely nothing at all." -Oscar Wilde

"Every man has it in his power to make one woman happy by remaining a bachelor." -Daisy F. Ayres

"Nobody roots for Goliath." -Wilt Chamberlain

"I look to a time when brotherhood needs no publicity; to a time when a brotherhood award would be as ridiculous as an award for getting up in the morning." -Daniel D. Mich

"Now that it's all over, what did you do yesterday that's worth mentioning?" -Coleman Cox

"Advertising: Something which makes one think he's longed all his life for something he's never heard of before." -Anonymous

"If you can't convince them, confuse them." -Harry S. Truman

"Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for." -Ogden Nash

"Pretty much, all the honest truth-telling is done by children." -Oliver W. Holmes

"Any man who has more than $10,000 left when he dies is a failure." -Errol Flynn

"Ambition is poor cause for not having sense enough to be lazy." -Charlie McCarthy

"If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end it would probably be Labor Day Weekend." -Doug Larson

"Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done." -Fred Allen

"The best defense against the atom bomb is not to be there when it goes off." -Anonymous

"If you can't say what you are going to say in 20 minutes, you ought to go away and write a book about it." -Lord Brabazon

"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears this is true." -Irving Caesar

"The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously." -Hubert Humphrey

"It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail." -Gore Vidal

"The two great rules of life: 1)Never tell everything at once." -Ken Venturi

"A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure." -Segal

"A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountaintop." -Unknown

"Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you." -Cyril Connolly

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest." -Mark Twain

"An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible." -Unknown

"Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry." -George Ada

"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking." -H. L. Mencken

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." -Charles Shultz

"It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of other people." -John Andrew Holmes

"Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat." -Mark Twain

"Television is a medium. So called because it is neither rare nore well-done." -Ernie Kovacs

"The future will be better tomorrow." -Dan Quayle

"The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy." -Sam Levinson

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." -Jeff Valdez

"Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other two percent that get all the publicity. But then - we elected them." -Lily Tomlin

"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts." -Albert Einstein

"The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood-sucking parasites'." -Larry Hardiman

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

"Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment." -Robert Benchley

"That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you." -A. Whitney Brown

"The problem with political jokes is they get elected." -Henry Cate VII

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible." -Walt Disney

"Nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say." -Will Durant

"It is not worth an intelligent man's time to be in the majority." -G. H. Hardy

"I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it." -Garrison Keillor

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." -Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

"Never believe anything until it has been officially denied." -Claud Cockburn

"If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going." -Irwin Corey

"The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not entirely absurd, indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more likely to be foolish than sensible." -Bertrand Russell

"How many fancy they have experience simply because they have grown old." -Stanislaus

"We need a reason for speaking. We need none for keeping silent." -Piere Nicole

"Don't go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path, and leave a trail." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"It's hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place." -H. L. Menken

"If it is possible, it has already been done; if impossible, it will be done." -Charles-Alexander de Callone

"An eye for an eye and everybody would be blind." -Mahatma Ghandi

"The real character of a man is found out by his amusements." -Sir Joshua Reynolds

"The size of a man is measured by the size of the thing that makes him angry." -Unknown

"The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress." -Joseph Joubert

"He who establishes his argument by noise and command shows that his reason is weak." -Michel de Montaigne

"There is not a more difficult feat known than to cut through a cusion with a sword." -Richard Whately

"My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine - everybody drinks water." -Mark Twain

"Integrity has no need of rules." -Albert Camus

"The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing changes, and yet everything is completely different." -Aldous Huxley

"One of the most obvious facts about grownups to a child is that they have forgotten what it is like to be a child." -Randall Jarell

"The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent." -Mel Lazarus

"There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all." -Peter F. Drucker

"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept responsibility for changing them." -Dennis Waitley

"We will either find a way or make one." -Hannibal

"Competing in sports has taught me that if I'm not willing to give 120%, somebody else will." -Ron Bloomberg

"Common sense is what tells us the Earth is flat and the Sun goes around it." -Unknown

"Don't tell your problems to people. 80% don't care; and the other 20% are glad you've got them." -Lou Holtz

"Lead, follow, or get out of the way." -Henry Beard

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." -Ernest Hemingway

"When we got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we'd been saying they were." -John F. Kennedy

"We learn to do something by doing it. There is no other way." -John Holt

"I feel like a dime among a lot of pennies." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Who you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?" -Stephen Levine

"Learning is finding out what you already know. Doing is demonstrating that you know it. Teaching is reminding others that they know it just as well as you." -Richard Bach

"Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before." -Mae West

"Two million years from now the scientists can start a row by claiming that the creatures of that period descended from us." -Unknown

"Whenever I feel like exercise I lie down until the feeling passes." -Robert Maynard Hutchins

"You don't learn to hold your own in the world by standing on guard, but by attacking and getting well hammered yourself." -George Bernard Shaw

"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." -Henry Adams

"Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even." -Muhammed Ali

"There are those, I know, who will reply that the liberation of humanity, the freedom of man and mind, is nothing but a dream. They are right. It is. It is the American dream." -Archibald MacLeish

"It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated." -Alec Bourne

"Shortchange your education now and you may be short of change the rest of your life." -Unknown

"There has never yet been a man in our history who led a life of ease whose name is worth remembering." -Theodore Roosevelt

"Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on." -Winston Churchill

"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." -Elbert Hubbard

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." -Mark Twain

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." -Mario Andretti

"If you don't run your life, somebody else will." -John Atkinson

"If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." -Napoleon Bonaparte

"Everything has been thought of before, but the problem is to think of it again." -Goethe

"Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants." -Walter Winchell

"If you can't give it all, don't give at all." -Gordon Hunt

"Show us you are great and we love it. Tell us, and we have to wonder how great you really are." -Gordon Hunt

"What I bring to this group is me, and you can do what you want with it." -Briana Adato

"As long as the world shall last there will be wrongs, and if no man objected, and no man rebelled, those wrongs would last forever." -Clarence Darrow

"We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong." -Bill Vaughn

"Duties are not performed for duty's sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty - the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself." -Mark Twain

"From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any first and foremost object save one - to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort for himself." -Mark Twain

"All men are mortals. Socrates was a mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates." -Woody Allen

"If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." -Anatole France

"Man, in is anxiety to refute evidence that he is a monkey, manages to further the belief that he is an ass." -Gerald F. Lieberman

"A minority is always compelled to think. That is the blessing of being in the minority." -Leo Baeck

"How easy it is for a man to die rich, if he will but be contented to live miserable." -Henry Fielding

"I have made mistakes, but I have never made the mistake of claiming that I never made one." -James Gordon Bennett

"I would rather make my name than inherit it." -William Makepeace Thackerey

"Orators are most vehement when their case is weak." -Cicero

"People can be divided into three groups: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder, What Happened?" -Unknown

"There is no pleasure in having nothing to do. The pleasure comes from having lots to do and not doing it." -Mary Little

"When policy fails, try thinking." -American Maxim

"If a man fools me once, shame on him. If the same man fools me twice, shame on me." -Asian Proverb

"The best way to win an argument is to begin by being right." -Jill Ruckelshaus

"Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do something is when they become dangerous." -Will Rogers

"Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding." -Ambrose Bierce

"If you don't like what you are doing, then don't do it." -Ray Bradbury

"I don't care how great, how famous or successful a man or woman may be, each hungers for applause." -George M. Adams

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." -George Bernard Shaw

"It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help." -Judith S. Martin

"It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish." -Aeschylus

"When people agree with me, I always feel that I must be wrong." -Oscar Wilde

"The main ingredient of stardom is the rest of the team." -John Wooden

"Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin that he built with his own hands." -Student Bloopers

"The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the east and the sun sets in the west." -Student Bloopers

"If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant." -Anne Bradstreet

"Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next." -Gilda Radner

"Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow." -Aaron Burr

"Don't wait for the last judgment. It takes place every day." -Albert Camus

"When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it." -E. W. Howe

"Democracy is the worst form of government except all those others that have been tried from time to time." -Sir Winston Churchill

"Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently." -Henry Ford

"I do not think much of a man who is not wiser than he was yesterday." -Abraham Lincoln

"Deliver more than you are getting paid to do. The victory will be half won when you learn the secret of putting out more than is expected in all that you do. Make yourself so valuable in your work that eventually you will become indispensable." -Og Mandino

"A fact merely marks the point where we have agreed to let the investigation cease." -Unknown

"If there exists no possibility of failure, then victory is meaningless." -Robert H. Schuller

"Fear comes from uncertainty. When we are absolutely certain, whether of our worth or worthlessness, we are almost impervious to fear." -Eric Hoffer

"The more I know about man, the more I like dogs." -Gloria Allred

"The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots." -Scott Adams

"If you can't win, make the fellow ahead of you break the record." -Anonymous

"I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose opinions I have no respect." -Edward Gibbon

"To be great we need to win games we aren't supposed to win." -Julius Erving

"I fear vastly more a futile, incompetant old age that I do any form of death." -William Allen White

"Never give a sucker an even break." -W. C. Fields

"If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope that I should have the guts to betray my country." -E. M. Forster

"The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated." -William James

"It is stupid of modern civilization to have given up believing in the devil, when he is the only explanation of it." -Monsignor Ronald Knox

"Most of the really happy people I know get their hands dirty all the time." -Jim Sollisch

"All that we really need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about." -Charles Kingsley

"People are seldom famous for what they've said until after they are famous for what they've done." -Cullen Hightower

"The Net - a reliable system of loosely connected and imperfect parts that works because nobody is in control - shakes up all our centralist notions of hierarchy." -Nicholas Negroponte

"Criticism sometimes expresses greater respect than praise. As a professer, you challenge a student because you consider her capable of learning. You question her premises because you think she's game enough to re-examine them." -Wendy Kaminer

"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." -Epictus

"A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser than he was yesterday." -Jonathan Swift

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something." -Plato

"Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility on him, and to let him know that you trust him." -Booker T. Washington

"An idea that is not dangerous is not worthy of being called an idea at all." -Oscar Wilde

"The world was created on 22 October 4004 BC at 6 o'clock in the evening." -James Ussher

"Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not. In either case, it is amazing." -L. Dubridge

"The rebel is careful to preserve the abuses from which he is rebelling so that he may go on rebelling against them." -Jean-Paul Sartre

"Where did Christ come from? From God and a woman. Man had nothing to do with it." -Sojourner Truth

"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks." -Totie Fields

"Take away a Christian's fear of hell, and you take away his faith." -Diderot

"He that humbleth himself wishes to be exalted." -Nietzsche

"No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true." -Nathanial Hawthorne

"To judge a man means nothing more than to ask: What concept of humanity should we have if he were its only representative?" -Wilhelm von Humboldt

"There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country really needs is a good five-cent nickel." -Franklin P. Adams

"Journalism largely consists in saying 'Lord Jones is dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive." -G. K. Chesterton

"Reason is the greatest enemy that faith has." -Martin Luther

"I don't at all like knowing what people say about me behind my back. It makes one far too conceited." -Oscar Wilde

"The common man, who doesn't know what to do with this life, wants another which shall be endless." -Anatole France

"Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right." -Laurens van der Post

"Most of our so-called reasoning consists in finding arguments for going on believing as we already do." -James Harvey Robinson

"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time." -James Taylor

"Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about." -Sam Ewing

"You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you." -Eric Hoffer

"Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought." -Kin Hubbard

"Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"A fellow can't keep people from having a bad opinion of him, but he can keep them from being right about it." -Unknown

"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself." -Peter O'Toole

"Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian." -Robert Orben

"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." -Winston Churchill

"The mystery of government is not knowing how Washington works but how to make it stop." -P. J. O'Rourke

"A single fact can ruin a good argument." -Anonymous

"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done." -Andy Rooney

"If you have time to whine and complain about something, then you have time to do something about it." -Anthony D'Angelo

"If you can look in the mirror and say you've done a good job, let the awards fall where they may." -Frasier

"He who strikes the first blow admits he's lost the argument." -Chinese Proverb

"There is no evil in the atom; only in men's souls." -Adlai Stevenson

"Was it for this I uttered prayers, and sobbed and cursed and kicked the stairs, that now, domestic as a plate, I should retire at half past eight?" -Edna St. Vincent Millay

"Man is the only animal for whom his existence is a problem which he has to solve." -Erich Fromm

"Books won't stay banned. They won't burn. Ideas won't go to jail. The only weapon against bad ideas is better ideas." -A. Whitney Griswold

"The purpose of life is a life of purpose." -Robert Byrne

"Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition." -Timothy Leary

"How to win a case in court: If the law is on your side, pound on the law; if the facts are on your side, pound on the facts; if neither is on your side, pound on the table." -Unknown

"Diplomat: A person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip." -Caskie Stinett

"Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing that you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not." -Walter Bagehot

"Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it." -Russell Lynes

"I haven't been wrong since 1961, when I thought I made a mistake." -Bob Hudson

"Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent." -Jean Kerr

"We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything." -Thomas Alva Edison

"I am not so much concerned with the right of everyone to say anything he pleases as I am about our need as a self-governing people to hear everything relevant." -John F. Kennedy

"He that complies against his will is of his opinion still." -Samuel Butler

"The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins." -Heywood Brown

"Mankind censures injustice, fearing that they may be victims of it and not because they shrink from committing it." -Plato

"If you think too much about being re-elected, it is very hard to be worth re-electing." -Woodrow Wilson

"It's the orders you disobey that make you famous." -Douglas MacArthur

"The ancient oracle said I was the wisest of all the Greeks. It is because I alone, of all the Greeks, know that I know nothing." -Socrates

"The wisest thing to do with a fool is to encourage him to hire a hall and discourse to his fellow-citizens. Nothing chills nonsense like exposure to the air." -Woodrow Wilson

"It is characteristic of the most stringent censorships that they give credibility to the opinions they attack." -Voltaire

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." -Ambrose Redmoon

"Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many." -Anonymous

"Anybody who brags about what he is going to do tomorrow probably did the same thing yesterday." -Unknown

"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right." -Ashleigh Brilliant

"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to." -Dorothy Parker

"The most important lesson you can learn from winning is that you can." -Dave Weinbaum

"They say there's a heaven for those who will wait. Some say it's better, but I say it ain't. I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun." -Billy Joel

"Half of the American people never read a newspaper. Half never voted for president. One hopes it is the same half." -Gore Vidal

"It is easy to say you will die for a friend, but it's hard to find one worth dying for." -Christopher Smith

"To the world you may be just one person. But to one person, you may be the world." -Unknown

"All say 'How hard it is that we have to die' - a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those who have had to live." -Mark Twain

"I do not feel obligated to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended for us to forego their use." -Galileo Galilei

"Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait to hear the answer." -Unknown

"In some sort of crude sense which no vulgarity, no humor, no overstatement can quite extinguish, the physicists have known sin, and this is a knowledge which they cannot lose." -J. Robert Oppenheimer

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." -Mahatma Ghandi

"Our accepting what we are must always inhibit our being what we ought to be." -John Fowles

"I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them." -Adlai Stevenson

"The simplest schoolboy is now familiar with truths for which Archimedes would have given his life." -Ernest Renan

"If there is a God, atheism must seem less of an insult to Him than religion." -Goncourt

"How many legs does a dog have if you call a tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg." -Abraham Lincoln

"It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this." -Bertrand Russell

"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." -Bertrand Russell

"People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat." -Rebecca West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." -Oscar Wilde

"You're the sort of person Dr. Spooner would have called a shining wit." -Anonymous

"We need not worry so much about what man descends from - it's what he descends to that shames the human race." -Mark Twain

"The average man's opinions are much less foolish than they would be if he thought for himself." -Bertrand Russell

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'" -Isaac Asimov

"I went into the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." -Henry David Thoreau

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me, and just be my friend." -Albert Camus

"There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it." -Cicero

"Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death." -Earl Wilson

"A man who has to be at a certain place at five o'clock has the whole afternoon ruined for him already." -Lin Yutang

"Happiness is doing with a smile what you have to do anyway." -Unknown

"The world when seen through a child's eyes, greatly resembles paradise." -Unknown

"Looking forward to things is half the pleasure of them." -Lucy Maud Montgomery

"Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know." -Elmer G. Leterman

"It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty to do." -Jerome K. Jerome

"All of us are going to do better tomorrow, and we would, too, if only we started today." -Anonymous

"It hasn't been done yet, so they haven't gotten around to prohibiting it." -Destination Moon

"It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing." -Thomas Jefferson

"Hurry! I never hurry. I have no time to hurry." -Igor Stravinsky

"One of the most important lessons to learn in life is how to teach yourself." -Jerry Simmons

"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." -Dolly Parton

"Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level." -Max L. Forman

"Remember, a closed mouth gathers no foot." -Steve Post

"Always leave something to wish for; otherwise you will be miserable from your very happiness." -Baltasar Gracian

"Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world." -Schopenhauer

"We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done." -Longfellow

"Never settle with words what you can accomplish with a flamethrower." -Bruce Feinstein

"What is now proved was once only imagined." -William Blake

"I would rather be right than be President." -Henry Clay

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." -Theodore Roosevelt

"Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it." -Katherine Whitehorn

"Think? Why think! We have computers that do that for us." -Jean Rostand

"All things are difficult before they are easy." -Thomas Fuller

"Value your words. Each one may be the last." -Stanislaw J. Lee

"Experience is the name everyone gives to his mistakes." -Oscar Wilde

"I don't even know what street Canada is on." -Al Capone

"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going." -P. J. O'Rourke

"The trouble with talking too fast is you may say something you haven't thought of yet." -Ann Landers

"The healthiest competition occurs when average people win by putting in above average effort." -Colin Powell

"Having children no more makes you a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist." -Michael Levine

"Facts are the enemy of truth" -Man of La Mancha

"I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country." -Nathan Hale

"Nothing in this universe baffles man as much as man himself." -Adlai Stevenson

"The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." -Walter Bagehot

"Never ruin an apology with an excuse." -Kimberly Johnson

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." -Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Society in every state is a blessing, but government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil, in it's worst, an intolerable one." -Thomas Paine

"Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try." -Homer Simpson

"Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without." -Anonymous

"No opera plot can be sensible, for in sensible situations people do not sing." -W. H. Auden

"The fellow who thinks he knows it all is especially annoying to those of us who do." -Harold Coffin

"Be the first to say what is self-evident, and you are immortal." -M. Ebner-Eschenbach

"Faced with the choice of changing one's mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everybody gets busy on the proof." -John Kenneth Galbraith

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but noone thinks of changing himself." -Leo Tolstoy

"A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for." -William Shedd

"The mark of a good action is that it seems inevitable in retrospect." -Robert Louis Stevenson

"Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune time." -Ducharme

"The republicans are the party that says the government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it." -P. J. O'Rourke

"Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot help." -Thomas Fuller

"A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them." -Elbert Hubbard

"Responsibilities gravitate to the person who can shoulder them." -Elbert Hubbard

"The world steps aside to let any man pass if he knows where he is going." -David S. Jordan

"The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for." -Ernest Hemingway

"Do you know what makes a man a genius? The ability to see the obvious." -Charles McCarry

"True genius lies not in doing extraordinary things but in doing ordinary things extraordinarily well." -Louis H. Wilson

"The test of a first-rate intelligence is to be able to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function." -F. Scott Fitzgerald

"The graveyards are full of indispensable men." -Charles de Gaulle

"All I know is that I am not a Marxist." -Karl Marx

"I am humble enough to recognize that I have made mistakes, but politically astute enough to know that I have forgotten what they are." -Michael Hesettine

"The point is to get so much money that money's not the point anymore." -William Hamilton

"If my theory of relativity is proven correct, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew." -Albert Einstein

"No amount of planning will ever replace dumb luck." -Anonymous

"Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it's important." -Eugene McCarthy

"I think there is a world market for about five computers." -Thomas J. Watson

"I don't know what I'd do without your help, but let me try." -Unknown

"There will always remain some questions that have not yet been answered. In general, these are the questions that have not yet been posed." -Linus Pauling

"The best armor is to keep out of range." -Italian Proverb

"There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house." -Joe Ryan

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good." -Anonymous

"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever." -Napoleon

"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." -Anonymous

"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." -Homer Simpson

"Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so." -H. Jackson Brown

"History does not always repeat itself. Sometimes it just yells 'Can't you remember anything I told you?' and lets fly with a club." -John W. Campbell

"Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight?" -Al Boliska

"This book fills a much needed gap." -Moses Hadas

"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one." -Elbert Hubbard

"Be yourself - but be your best self." -S. H. Payer

"Among my most prized possesions are the words that I have never spoken." -Orson Rega Card

"The difference between a genius and a lunatic is that the genius has proof." -Dominique Bouchard

"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it." -Buddha

"Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what the people do want." -Clive Barnes

"I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain." -Carol Leifer

"The quiet ones are the ones that change the universe... The loud ones only take the credit." -Babylon 5

"Sometimes the test is not to find the answer. It's to see how you react when you realize there is no answer." -Babylon 5

"One man scorned and covered with scars still strove with his last ounce of courage to reach the unreachable stars; and the world will be better for this." -Miguel de Cervantes

"All the Constitution guarantees is the pursuit of happiness. You have to catch up with it yourself." -Ben Franklin

"Giving money and power to congressmen is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys." -P. J. O'Rourke

"The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools." -Doug Larson

"The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which to burn." -David Russell

"Good old days start with good new days, like today." -Unknown

"I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education." -Wilson Mizner

"Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice." -Robert Orben

"But it is not really difference the oppressor fears so much as similarity... He fears he will have to change his life once he has seen himself in the bodies of the people he has called different." -Cherrie Moraga

"Lincoln was not great because he was born in a log cabin, but because he got out of it." -James Truslow Adams

"The most enlightened judicial policy is to let people manage their own business in their own way." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

"You don't approach a case with the philosophy of applying abstract justice--you go in to win." -Perry Foreman

"It is always probable that something improbable will happen." -Logan Bleckley

"Must the citizen ever for a moment, or in the least degree, resign his conscience to the legislator? I think that we must be men first, and subjects afterward." -Henry David Thoreau

"The only obligation which I have a right to assume is to do at any time what I think right." -Henry David Thoreau

"To limit the press is to insult a nation; to prohibit reading of certain books is to declare the inhabitants to be either fools or slaves." -Claude Adrien Helvetius

"If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all." -N. Chomsky

"A man does not attain the status of Galileo merely because he is persecuted; he must also be right." -Stephen Jay Gould

"When we are what we want to be, that's happiness." -Malcolm Forbes

"The minute you start talking about what you're going to do if you lose, you have lost." -George P. Shultz

"The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one." -Albert Einstein

"Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the round pegs in a square hole, the ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them, because they change things. They push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who will." -Apple Computer

"Wisdom is divided into two parts: (a) having a great deal to say, and (b) not saying it." -Anonymous

"I think, therefore I'm single." -Liz Winston

"Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Men have gone to war and cut each other's throat because they could not agree on what was to become of them after their throats were cut." -Walter Parker Stacy

"It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interests." -Adam Smith

"A nation which can prefer disgrace to danger is prepared for a master and deserves one." -Alexander Hamilton

"The most difficult thing is to know how to do a thing and to watch somebody else do it wrong, without comment." -T. H. White

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people." -Garrison

"It is never too late to be who you might have been." -George Eliot

"I discovered that rejections are not altogether a bad thing. They teach a writer to rely on his own judgment and to say in his heart of hearts, 'To hell with you.'" -Saul Bellow

"The genius of you Americans is that you never make any clear-cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves that leave us scratching our heads wondering if we might have missed something." -Gamel Abdul Nasser

"If they try to rush me, I always say, 'I've only got one other speed--and it's slower.'" -Glenn Ford

"Invention is the mother of necessity." -Thorstein Veblen

"The tyranny of a prince in an oligarchy is not so dangerous to the public welfare as the apathy of a citizen in a democracy." -Montesquieu

"No matter what side of an argument you're on, you always find some people on your side that you wish were on the other side." -Jascha Heifetz

"What are our schools for if not indoctrination against communism?" -Richard Nixon

"Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." -Bernard Berenson

"People are not afraid of death, but of the incompleteness of their lives." -Lisl Marburg Goodman

"An egotist is a man who thinks that if he hadn't been born, people would have wondered why." -Dan Post

"I would rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." -Will Rogers

"When you prevent me from doing anything I want to do, that is persecution; but when I prevent you from doing anything you want to do, that is law, order, and morals." -George Bernard Shaw

"I would rather believe that God did not exist than believe that he was indifferent." -George Sand

"I am prepared to sacrifice every so-called privilege I possess in order to gain a few rights." -Inez Millholland

"A gentleman opposed to their enfranchisement once said to me 'Women have never produced anything of value to the world.' I told him the chief product of the women had been the men, and left it to him to decide whether the product was of any value." -Anna Shaw

"It is possible by long-continued practice not to know when we are sincere and when we are not." -Mark Rutherford

"The day will happen whether or not you get up." -Argosy

"It's the hardest thing in the world to accept a little success and leave it that way." -Marlon Brando

"Woman's virtue is man's greatest invention." -Cornelia Otis Skinner

"I would sooner live in a cottage and wonder at everything than live in a castle and wonder at nothing." -Joan Winmill Brown

"Keep in mind that life is a continuous succession of present moments." -Elaine St. James

"Our job is not to straighten each other out, but to help each other up." -Neva Coyle

"Courage is knowing you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what." -Harper Lee

"There may be two libertarians somewhere who agree with one another, but I am not one of them." -David Friedman

"The secret of the universe is this: the universe doesn't care. That part is up to you." -David Gerrold

"There is no a priori reason for supposing that the truth, when it is discovered, will necessarily prove interesting." -C. I. Lewis

"The sole end for which mankind are warranted, individually or collectively, in interfering with the liberty of action of any of their number, is self-protection. The only purpose for which power can be rightly exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others." -John Stuart Mill

"If all mankind minus one were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind." -John Stuart Mill

"A physicist is the atoms' way of thinking about atoms." -Anonymous

"The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination. But the combination is locked up in the safe." -Peter de Vries

"A book of quotations can never be complete." -Robert M. Hamilton

Home