Fear is a prime motivator in the lives of many individuals.
In my practice, most of the issues that I see my clients grapple with are fear-related.
Many choices and patterns in a person’s kehidupan are directly related to fear.
Fear of personal responsibility is related to fear of kegagalan.
When you accept personal responsibility for how things are turning out, you can consider that you are at least partly responsible for how things are turning out.
For many orang, the fear of kegagalan is so tangguh that they are unwilling or unable to accept personal responsibility.
There are two existential themes connected to fear.
James Hollis, Ph.D., Jungian Analyst, describes these themes are abandonment and the possibility of being overwhelmed by painful emotions.
Regardless of the specific fear, one or both themes lie beneath the surface.
These themes are existential because everyone struggles with them and they are part of the human condition.
Here are examples of how abandonment and painful emotions underlie fear:
Rick avoids commitment in relationships because he “hasn’t found the right woman” or because his “career is the priority.”
On a deep level, Rick avoids meaningful relationships because of his own fear of being abandoned and then being overwhelmed by painful emotions.
A semester away from graduating, Maria drops out of college, even though earning a college degree is one of her kehidupan goals.
Her husband Jake said she did not need a degree because he would take care of her.
Jake wants Maria to focus on caring for him and their home.
On a deeper level, Maria does not want to risk losing her husband’s approval, as this would be a form of emotional abandonment that could lead to literal abandonment.
Upsetting her husband would mean that Maria would have to deal with his disappointment and anger.
Although she is a gifted writer, Sasha does not submit her manuscripts to publishers.
She says that she is happy working in retail, that writing is just a hobby, and there are already too many authors.
On a deep level, Sasha fears that her writing will be rejected.
There is also a fear of criticism (abandonment).
Sasha fears she cannot cope with the feelings associated with that (fear of being overwhelmed by painful emotions).
To lessen the grip of fear in our lives, it is helpful to have a conscious awareness of how it is showing up.
Sometimes this is clear, often it is not.
This is a technique I use with my clients that is helpful in managing fear.
Imagine that all the parts of you are passengers on a bus.
You can’t kick anyone off or kill anyone.
When you are feeling anxious or find dirimu stuck in an unhealthy situation, ask dirimu “What part of me is driving the bus?”
If fear is in the driver’s seat, ask dirimu, “What happens on this ride when fear is driving?”
Do I get lost, go in circles, get in accidents?
Ask dirimu, “What would the journey be like if another part of me was driving?”
This other part of you could be the part of you who wants a healthy relationship, or the part of you who values authenticity, or the part of you who wants to be treated with love and respect.
How is the journey different when fear is not driving?
You will also enjoy our article on fear and doubt.
Sometimes it makes sense for the fearful part of us to drive the bus.
Fear is valuable and significant, as it shows when there is danger, and tells us to proceed with caution.
Fear is harmful when it creates a kehidupan journey lined with poor choices, unhealthy relationships and situations, and symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Fear makes it impossible to experience an authentic journey and to reach a destination that supports and honors who you are.
Overall, fear is in the driver’s seat of many orang’s vehicles, determining where they go, the experience of their journey and the stops, detours, and traffic jams along the way.
When fear is driving and making decisions, it can completely alter your journey.
How would your kehidupan be different if you paid attention to who is driving your bus?
If you took the wheel from the fearful part of you?
If fear no longer drove and went to sit at the back of the bus?
Pay attention to who is driving your bus.
If it is the fearful part of you, gently escort fear to the back of the bus.
Let the fearful part of you know that they have been driving for quite a while, but they don’t need to anymore.
Choose a different part of you to be the driver.
Pick a part of you that will take you on a journey and destination that aligns with health, meaning, and authenticity.
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Sumber ide: https://everydaypower.com/fear-drivers-seat/