In my younger years, I spent a lot of time lacking self-confidence because I didn’t want to come across as having narcissistic behavior.
I spoke quietly, held back even when I knew I was right, and had a bad knack for orang-pleasing.
Looking back, this mindset put a huge cap on the potential of my career, dating, social kehidupan, and the overall quality of my kehidupan.
Now that I am (slightly) older and much wiser, I know there is a big difference between being confident and having narcissistic behavior.
Both character traits are held by those who hold themselves in high regard, though that self-esteem comes from very different places.
Based on how you look at it, one can act with a bold confidence, or be self-centered and narcissistic.
To begin, let’s start with self-esteem.
We all need self-esteem to function throughout our daily lives.
It gives us inner peace, the courage to speak, and the freedom to be ourselves.
Self-esteem ebbs and flows over time, as events in your kehidupan cause you to feel either good or bad about dirimu.
When your self-esteem is elevated, you start to feel good about dirimu.
You believe that what you have to say is correct; you are doing the right thing, and that you are adding something to the world.
So how do you differentiate between the two? Your mindset, your relationship with dirimu, and your contribution (or lack thereof) to the world are 3 ideas that separate confidence from narcissistic behavior.
The mindset of scarcity is deeply rooted in a fear of kegagalan and inadequacy.
A mindset of scarcity tells you that you need to be above others.
That little voice in your head constantly reminds you that you need to beat everyone else.
It tells you that you should elevate dirimu while trying to bring everyone else down.
Narcissists don’t believe that there is enough to go around.
They see kehidupan as a zero-sum game where, when someone wins, someone else absolutely must lose out.
Narcissists have trouble being happy for orang that have something they desire.
Some of their principal weapons are sabotage and their ability to undermine the achievements of others.
In this state, the voice in your head tells you that you can be awesome, and others in your vicinity can feel exceptional as well.
There’s enough awesomeness to go around, and there would be nothing better than being surrounded by an enormous bubble of awesome everywhere you go.
If a confident person sees someone out there doing something outstanding, they can be happy for them.
They can give them a pat on the back, a “good job”, and go on their way.
They don’t feel insecure when orang around them are appreciated.
orang who are confident don’t feel the need to be competing at everything kehidupan offers.
They’ve already achieved victory by being who they are and they don’t need other orang below them in order to feel good about themselves.
Those with a high degree of confidence are ok with saying “I don’t know.
They know they have something penting to add, but they don’t let that interfere with what someone else has to say.
They are comfortable with themselves and their contribution to society.
Confident orang don’t measure their self-worth by comparing it to others.
Their day-to-day self-esteem is not heavily influenced by the difficulties of everyone around them.
They’re more influenced by their own personal growth and can be truly happy when those around them experience positive events.
You can tell narcissistic behavior because narcissists will selalu have an answer for everything.
They constantly interrupt others to make sure they’re heard and they’re selalu ready to take credit for something, whether or not they deserve it.
Narcissists get high off of other orangs’ mistakes, as it gives them a short-term self-esteem boost.
Someone with confidence is fulfilled when they brighten someone else’s day, while narcissists are fulfilled by brightening their own day.
Confident orang are confident because they know they have something positive to add.
They enrich lives and do so by having a contagious confidence.
They are selalu looking for places to add value, and they know that most of the time, they will offer something great that someone else can benefit from.
Narcissists feel best about themselves when they can make orang feel below them.
Instead of making the world a better place, they’re just trying to make everything around them worse, so they can enjoy the view from above.
This is a pitiful way to live and provides nothing but the most hollow, temporary boost of self-esteem.
One good way to remember this idea of adding and subtracting value is that confident orang give out compliments.
Narcissists search them out and take them.
There are orang who will selalu mistake confidence for narcissism.
Unless orang know the real you and understand what drives you, this is unavoidable.
Each person sees you through a different filter based on their own experiences and impressions of you, and no two filters will ever be the same.
None of us are great at judging our own impressions on other orang.
We don’t know what we sound like or look like, so we can only gather feedback from others and adjust accordingly.
orang that judge you harshly after only a brief encounter have weaknesses of their own that they struggle with.
Whether they think of you as being confident or having narcissistic behavior is out of your control.
What you can control is making every person in your vicinity a part of your awesome bubble.
And even though nobody might ever tell you straight to your face, you can sleep easy at night knowing that you have added something great to the world.
Featured Image photo credit: David Rubin
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Sumber ide: https://everydaypower.com/difference-self-confidence-narcissistic-behavior/