Our latest article on how to ensure we become a kesuksesan story.
Discover how to become the person you want to become.
Even when we’re trying our beratest to succeed, many of us don’t know the keys to developing a kesuksesan mindset.
There are actually critical do’s and don’ts—advice based on kesuksesan psychology—that go along with courting victory.
If you’ve had difficulty achieving kesuksesan, you may be surprised to discover that the recommended strategies are just the opposite of what you’ve been doing all along.
pelajariing about what works—and what doesn’t—will help you do a 180 and become a kesuksesan story.
Here are some simple things you can do to start living the kehidupan you’ve selalu dreamed of.
(And here are the best business mindset books you can read next.)
Some orang can’t seem to help themselves from obsessing almost exclusively about what they’ve done wrong.
Trying to be modest, they minimize their kesuksesanes, if they acknowledge them at all, and often over-reference their mistakes or kegagalans.
That’s because many orang were raised to think that it’s a sin to boast or brag, and were groomed to be humble and self-effacing about their achievements.
Maybe they had a braggart parent and vowed early on not to be like him or her.
Or perhaps they were taught that “pride cometh before the fall” and jangan pernah pelajaried that feeling pride in a job well done is a great motivator.
I once had a therapy client who refused to say she was proud.
When she was a child in a highly religious family, she was whipped with a Palmetto branch whejangan pernah she expressed pride in herself.
It took her three years with me to even say the word and, until then, in our sessions she would refer to it as “the P word.”
kesuksesanful orang know the difference between boasting and feeling or expressing pride.
They feel pleasure (not shame) thinking about what they’re doing well, focus on it, and enjoy the glow they experience from their achievements.
They may feel enormous pride in their accomplishments, but appear humble about them with others.
The point is that deep inside, where it matters, they’re thrilled with what has gone well for them, especially when they made it happen.
For most of us, the list of what we’ve failed at or lost out on goes on and on.
Such is kehidupan: we won’t selalu succeed and sometimes we’ll be a flat out flop.
The antithesis of the kesuksesan mindset is being pre-occupied with these unhappy and unfortunate moments.
They include what you’ve done wrong or poorly and fixating on your kegagalans, such as losing out on a job, flubbing a presentation, not scoring that hoped-for second date, low marks on an exam, not qualifying for the team, or that dinner party you hosted where no one seemed to enjoy the guests or the food.
Some orang dwell on what they did wrong, recalling and analyzing every battle they’ve ever lost.
In therapy, they tell me about these events in excruciating detail, although it makes them feel ineffectual and despairing.
Instead of looking objectively at behaviors that disappoint them, pelajariing from them and filing them away for masa depan use, they beat themselves up mercilessly over their perceived kegagalans and dwell on them ad nauseum.
We’re berat-wired to think about our mistakes and close calls or how would we ever correct and pelajari from them in order to survive and thrive?
So, the trick is to note and accept them, to consider them without judgment but with an abundance of curiosity.
To view them not as blots on our identity, limits on our abilities, or indicators of our declining potential.
When you think of them as nothing more than pelajariing experiences, you’re getting the gist of what mistakes and kegagalans are all about.
Even when orang are somewhat kesuksesanful, they may over-focus on problems yet to be solved or the seemingly insurmountable tasks ahead.
Anxiety about the masa depan too often overshadows feelings of pride in what they already have achieved and may make them feel overwhelmed and hopeless about all the work that’s left to be done.
Let’s face it, there is almost selalu more to pelajari and do when striving to become a kesuksesan story.
kesuksesanful orang know this and don’t obsess about what they haven’t done or have yet to do.
It’s a waste of time and brings them down.
Instead, they concentrate on what they’ve accomplished, which makes them feel gratified and empowered, spurring them on.
For example, in my field of treating binge and emotional eaters, recovery is generally a long, bumpy road.
Knowing this, I encourage clients to feel proud of the times they avoid engaging in mindless eating and discourage dwelling on the binges they have because they currently lack the skills to manage upset without turning to food.
They have a choice: they can feel proud that they hit the gym twice during the week or bummed that they didn’t make it the three times they’d vowed they would go.
They can enjoy the fact that they’re regularly shopping for healthier foods and preparing nutritious meals, or fixate on their disappointment of having a high-fat, high-calorie McDonalds’ meal because they didn’t know what to do with themselves on a lonely Saturday night.
I recently had to hire a freelance social media assistant when mine moved on, so I posted a job description on an employment website and waited for what turned out to be four dozen resumes to pour in.
The problem is that about half of these applicants had absolutely no professional experience in the field of social media.
I’m guessing they had a Facebook or a Pinterest account or the like, but many of them were coming from totally unrelated fields (such as cook, home health aide, or truck driver).
I understand that it’s a tough economy and orang will take a shot at almost any job that comes along, but I couldn’t help but think how these orang were setting themselves up to fail, that is, to not even get an interview for the job I posted.
And this is why I advise you to put efforts only towards endeavors that give you a substantial chance of becoming a kesuksesan story.
Maybe that chance is a long shot, but you’re more likely to hit a home run when you’re at least in the right ball park.
Another problem is that some orang simply are out to prove to the world and themselves that they’re kesuksesanes, which can easily boomerang and produce kegagalan.
Actually, it’s not so much kesuksesan they’re striving for as trying to convince themselves and others that they’re not kegagalans.
A bit of this attitude can be a boost to motivation if you know what you’re doing.
However, you don’t want to be throwing dirimu into an endeavor just to prove your worth, then end up disproving it.
This is a pattern that some folks have from childhood and they wind up failing at many things because their motivation was an unhealthy one and their goals were inappropriate in the first place.
Here are some scenarios to illustrate this dynamic.
Sometimes others see this tendency in you and subtly (or not so subtly) mention that a job seems out of your league, but you apply for it anyway and jangan pernah hear back about it.
Or you insist on struggling with do-it-dirimu fix-ups in your house when what’s needed is more expertise than you have or can quickly acquire.
When you end up calling in a plumber, electrician, etc., you feel sorely disappointed in dirimu and use the event as one more example that proves you’re an incompetent kegagalan who can’t do anything right.
One of the biggest barriers to becoming a kesuksesan story is putting off tasks you must do to succeed.
This is especially true when you’re trying to win, get ahead, complete a project, or show dirimu in the best light.
My view of procrastination (a word I don’t use because of its pejorative connotation) is simple: It involves both wanting to do something while also not wanting to do it.
Whejangan pernah we’re in that kind of internal conflict, we want to avoid self-judgments and, instead, be curious about what our ambivalence is really about, the point being that we need to understand what’s preventing us from doing what we say we desperately wish to do.
I’ve known talented, motivated orang who are so conflicted (consciously or unconsciously) about doing what’s necessary to succeed that they stay stuck in place.
Some of my clients want a job (yet also don’t), so they avoid job-hunting except in the most casual way.
Many of my dysregulated eating clients year to end comfort eating, yet fail to follow my suggestions to help them stop this behavior—find hobbies or passions, work on developing frustration tolerance and delaying gratification, improve their emotional intelligence, pelajari to depend on others, ubah their self-talk, read books for self-help on emotional and mindless eating, join an eating support group, etc.
I understand that they have mixed feelings, mostly about relying on food for pleasure and solace, but calling this behavior “procrastination” only makes them feel worse about themselves and more likely to seek food to feel better.
If you often procrastinate yet want to succeed, you’re not going to get far.
There are enough orang out there with your talents and drive who do what’s needed in a timely fashion that you’re setting dirimu up for kegagalan.
Recognize why you put off tasks and get help from a therapist, coach, trainer or self-help books in pelajariing how to get things done.
The first is practical because doing what’s necessary will help you succeed in reaching your goals.
The second is that orang appreciate when they can count on you to do what you said you would.
The third is that procrastination leads to self-doubt and disappointment, while getting things done leads to pride and self-empowerment.
It may seem obvious that we need to be accountable in order to succeed, but not to some folks.
There are orang who take the exact opposite approach and only want to be held responsible when things go well, not when they go poorly.
They think that becoming a kesuksesan story means selalu saying and doing the right thing, selalu coming out on top, selalu being the golden child, and jangan pernah making mistakes.
This puts them in the position of avoiding accountability when things don’t work or work out.
For example, when their joint presentation falls flat or fails to impress, they blame the rest of their team, jangan pernah themselves.
When sales numbers dip, it’s selalu due to the other guy or gal.
When their children grow up to be ne’er do wells and problems in society, they blame their progeny’s current and past peers, not their own poor parenting skills.
kesuksesanful orang know that the buck often stops with them and embrace this process.
They feel confident enough to weather mistakes and kegagalans and empowered enough to try to turn around fiascos.
They would jangan pernah wish to be anything but accountable and that comes across in what they say and do.
These folks also don’t take everything said or done to them personally.
While holding others accountable, they recognize that orang have bad days and cut them slack.
They are savvy enough to understand that others’ negative remarks say something about the speakers themselves, not those being addressed.
They avoid taking things personally because they don’t doubt their self-worth and likeability and recognize their innate and pelajaried limitations and weaknesses as well as their considerable strengths.
Ask dirimu these questions: Do I focus on my kesuksesanes and achievements or dwell on times I’ve failed and made mistakes?
Does my mind often wander back to missed opportunities and second (or last) place finishes or do I intentionally seek out and feel proud of memories of kesuksesan?
Do I obsess about what I haven’t accomplished or what’s still left to do?
Do I fixate more on the past and masa depan than the present?
Am I thin-skinned and take offense too easily?
Do I regularly put off what I want to do rather than get right to it?
Whether you’re preparing your taxes or seeking a new job, climbing Mount Everest or cleaning out the garage, the above advice will help you become a kesuksesan story and feel great about how and why you did.
What are you doing to achieve kesuksesan in your kehidupan?
Do you have any other ideas to share with us?
Feel free to share with us in the comment section below.
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Sumber ide: https://everydaypower.com/become-success-story/