well, if this whole "science" thing doesn't pan through, here are a few back-up plans for my future: plan a: operation trophy wife 1 1. live in a fabulous condo by the waterfront (with a great view of the t.o. skyline) with my best friend, mei, who will (of course) be extremely wealthy and paying 100% of the rent. 2. then the both of us will fly down to australia where we'll stay with my relatives there until i find myself a gorgeous boy (with an incredibly sexy australian accent) to marry. did i mention that he must be rich? well, he must be so i can carry out the rest of my plan. 3. with wonderful husband in tow, we will all fly back to toronto where we will reside permanently 4. somewhere between step 1 and 3 (inclusive), mei will find herself a nice boy who will treat her well -- or else i'll come after him with a baseball bat. 5. Because our husbands will be very wealthy, mei and i will be able to afford having summer homes all over europe... and anywhere else that catches our fancy. plan b: operation trophy wife 2 (inspired by grace) 1. go to queens and find myself a nice, chinese boy 2. see steps 3 to 5 from plan a plan c: operation travel to ireland and go on a quest for faeries (a la gwen and findabhair from the hunter's moon) 1. the title pretty much says it all plan d: operation mooch 1. become a hobo during/after university (with my friends ebru and paulina) and spend my time throwing eggs at my now fabulously rich and successfull high school friends. added bonus: we will also drunkenly crash their weddings (because everybody knows how much eebs likes her drinks) and horribly embarrass our poor friends (by their associations with us and also the fact that we'll probably be pelting more eggs at them). if we crash the wedding reception, we might steal the emcee's mike and tell nonsensical anecdotes and perhaps a chorus or two of karaoke... 2. with a few years of hobo-ing under her belt, ebru will then leave to open a veterinary practice. after she becomes very respectable and established, paulina and i will go and beg her for jobs. 3. after working our way through the world of janitorial and secretarial jobs at ebru's vet practice, paulina and i will put our university degrees to good use and become world-renowned geneticists. at this point, my other friend erin may also join us. 4. after some vigorous research, my colleagues and i will be the first people to find and isolate the "aesthetically-pleasing gene", informally known as the "hot gene". 5. with this new found knowledge, eventually we will be able to clone ourselves several hot boys (who will all have remarkable resemblances to tamahome) plan e: operation ron popeil 1. some point in my life, become an infomercial host. no, not the kind who are on the shopping channel, i'm talking about real infomercials! i'll be the lady that ron popeil, (inventor of the "ronco showtime rotisserie and barbecue" which you set and forget, is easy to clean, makes the best chicken and baby back ribs, and comes with a vegetable steaming tray that keeps your veggies "piping hot"), talks to. or that lady from the "rocket chef" infomercials who smiles insanely (as in extremely crazily) at the camera. oh! or i could sell "george forman grill", or the "thunderstick" which can whip water!!! we also musn't forget the many hair-removal products that are out there... "epil-stop" (where you wipe your hair off... eeew!) and "nads" (the edible hair-removal gel thingy which actually works)! as you can tell, i'm a big fan of late-night tv infomercials... i've seen them billions of times. on the same note, here's the best infomercial pitch ever (that was selling a so-called "life-like" child's doll): "It will make your child the most popular kid on the playground... it's more fun than a basketful of puppies!!!" |
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