WHEN THE GOOD LORD WAS CREATING MOTHERS AND WAS IN HIS SIXTH DAY OF OVERTIME, AN ANGEL APPEARED AND SAID, "YOU'RE DOING A LOT OF FIDDLING AROUND ON THIS ONE."
THE LORD SAID, "HAVE YOU READ THE SPECIAL ORDER? SHE MUST BE COMPLETELY WASHABLE, BUT NOT PLASTIC. SHE MUST RUN ON BLACK COFFEE AND LEFTOVERS. SHE MUST HAVE A LAP THAT DISAPPEARS WHEN SHE STANDS UP, A KISS THAT CAN CURE ANYTHING FROM A BROKEN ARM TO A DISAPPOINTED LOVE AFFAIR, AND SIX PAIRS OF HANDS."
THE ANGEL SHOOK HER HEAD SLOWLY AND SAID, "SIX PAIRS OF HANDS, NO WAY."
"IT'S NOT THE HANDS THAT ARE CAUSING ME PROBLEMS," SAID THE LORD. "IT'S THE THREE PAIR OF EYES THAT MOTHER'S HAVE TO HAVE."
"THAT'S ON THE STANDARD MODEL?" THE ANGEL ASKED.
THE LORD NODDED. "ONE PAIR THAT SEES THROUGH DOORS WHEN SHE ASKS, "WHAT ARE YOU KIDS DOING IN THERE?" WHEN SHE ALREADY KNOWS. ANOTHER HERE IN THE BACK OF HER HEAD THAT SEES WHAT SHE SHOULD'T BUT WHAT SHE HAS TO KNOW, AND OF COURSE THE ONES HERE IN FRONT SO SHE CAN LOOK AT A CHILD WHEN HE GOOFS AND SAY, 'I UNDERSTAND AND LOVE YOU,' WITHOUT SO MUCH AS UTTERING A WORD."
"LORD," THE ANGEL SAID TOUCHING HIS SLEEVE GENTLY, "COME TO BED, TOMORROW....,"
"I CAN'T," SAID THE LORD. "I'M TOO CLOSE TO CREATING SOMETHING SO CLOSE TO MYSELF. ALREADY I HAVE ONE THAT HEALS HERSELF WHEN SHE IS SICK, CAN FEED A FAMILY OF SIX ON ONE POUND OF HAMBURGER, AND GET A NINE YEAR OLD TO STAND UNDER THE SHOWER."
THE ANGEL CIRCLED THE MODEL OF A MOTHER VERY SLOWLY, "IT'S TOO SOFT," SHE SIGHED. "BUT TOUGH," SAID THE LORD EXCITEDLY. "YOU CANNOT IMAGINE WHAT THIS MOTHER CAN DO OR ENDURE."
"CAN IT THINK?" "NOT ONLY THINK, BUT IT CAN REASON AND COMPROMISE," SAID THE CREATOR.
FINALLY THE ANGEL BENT OVER AND RAN HER FINGERS ACROSS THE CHEEK. "THERE'S A LEAK," SHE PRONOUNCED, "I TOLD YOU, YOU WERE TRYING TO PUT TOO MUCH INTO THIS MODEL."
"IT'S NOT A LEAK," SAID THE LORD, "IT'S A TEAR."
"WHAT'S IT FOR?"
"IT'S FOR JOY, SADNESS, DISAPPOINTMENT, PAIN, LONELINESS, AND PRIDE."
"YOU'RE A GENIUS," SAID THE ANGEL. THE LORD LOOKED SOMBER AND SAID,
"I DIDN'T PUT IT THERE."
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