Things haven’t gone well in my life for a long time. The more time that passed, the more helpless and hopeless I became. I felt abandoned and completely.

          Where was God, and why wasn’t He listening to me? Why wasn’t He helping me?

          I was raised to believe that all you had to do to get God’s help was to ask.

          I not only had asked, I had begged for His help. However, no answer came! Only more frustration, even to the point where even going to church and continued prayer began to feel like a waste of my time. No one cared. God didn’t care.

          Then one day, feeling completely lost and alone, I fell on my knees and cried out in agony, “Why don’t you care about me Lord? What have I done that has driven you away from me?”

          I broke down in tears, sobbing. After what seemed an eternity of crying, I felt completely exhausted and spent. I laid down on the floor, too tired to move. Total silence filled the room except for the sound of my heavy breathing.

          I began to hear a voice deep inside me ask if I was ready to listen.

          At first, I was shocked at feeling this question, not hearing it, but I was too exhausted to move, much less answer. I just lay quietly on the floor, listening to the sound of my heart beating.

          Again, the voice asked if I was ready to listen. If I was ready to release the weight of my pain to Him and let Him take my burdens. Finally, I said, “Yes Lord, I am yours. Do whatever you want with me.”

          Words flooded my mind and peace began to fill my heart.

          “My child you have been in my waiting room. I’ve been waiting for you to stop needing answers and for you to need me. For you to allow me to guide you through these trying times and take these burdens from your heart.

          I placed you in my waiting room to give you time to understand that I am not just a visitor in your life, but that I need to live in you daily. I could not help you until you completely let go of your self and let me in.

          Many changes will now take place in your life because you have given your life to me to live. Some of these changes will be easy to accept, some will seem very difficult, some you may not want to accept. In addition, you may wind up back in my waiting room until you can completely trust me. However, with time and faith, I will heal your broken heart and bring you back into my light, and happiness will return to you. I promise you this my child!

          My waiting room is a place of safety and solitude, which will bring us closer together. But most of all, it will bring you peace. Peace of heart and mind.”

          I awoke the next morning still on the floor but with a peace I had never known before. I felt refreshed and actually was looking forward to this new day with my Lord.

          I now understand that all these years I had been asking God for things and answers, but not for Him to be completely in my life. Nor was I really listening for His answers.

           I realize now that all the times I had not gotten an answer to my pleas, I had been in His waiting room. The only place where I would stop asking and listen!