Songfic1



Note: This is my very fisrt song fic and also my feeble attempt at humour. The song is Shanya Twain's 'That don't impress me much.' I do not own Gundam Wing or the song...this is for pure entetainment. So enjoy! Warnings: Major OCCness, weirdness and bad humour That don't impress me much! By Quicksylver

	Ow! Uh huh yeah yeah! Duo is sitting in the kitchen, eating his Lucky Charms, thinking about getting a boyfriend. He mulls over the possibilites as he chomps on a red balloon. Who...who will it be? First up...Heero * room swirls as Duo shifts into flashback mode * I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart Heero and Duo are arguing about an upcoming mission. Heero has everything planned out (as usual) to the last detail. Duo has some ideas but can't get a word in edgewise...for once. But you've got being right down to an art Suddenly Heero pulls full schematics out from WHO KNOWS WHERE and spreads them out for Duo to see. They show everything...even what the boys are supposed to say...even the exact style that Duo should wear his braid for optimal efficiency. You think you're a genius- you drive me up the wall Duo pulls at his hair in frustration. What happens if the shit hits the fan? Heero glares and pulls out even more schematics of every contingency plan possible...and that's alot! You're a regular original know it all He dumps them on the table where they reach eye level. In his usual monotne he tells Duo to memorize all of them for the mission. Duo's eyes bug out at the Mount Fuji sized mound of paper. Ranting and raving ensue. Oh oh you think you're something special Oh oh you think you're something else Okay...so you're a rocket scientist Duo throws up his arms in exasperation and leaves the room mumbling about tight spandex cutting off circulation to the brain. That don't impress me much flashback ends (more swirling) Duo shakes his head, shuddering. So you've got the brains but have you got the touch? Soldier Boy?...Nah! Now don't get me wrong- yeah I think you're alright But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night. Somehow Heero does not seem like the snuggly bear type. That don't impress me much Duo pours himself another bowl, man hunting sure builds an appetite. Next up...Trowa! hmmm... * flashback * even more swirling but know with the voice over and music from the Twilight Zone in the background. I never knew a guy who carried a mirror in his pocket Duo passes Trowa's open door and sees the Heavyarms pilot posing in front of his full length mirror making little pouty faces. Duo blinks, shakes his head and for the rest of the day, watches Trowa warily. Or a comb up his sleeve just in case Trowa is using the monitor in Heavyarms to fluff his bang. he catches Duo gaping from the cockpit of Shinigami and sweatdrops daintily, clocing the hatch with a huff. And all that extra whole gel in your hair oughtta lock it Trowa has Rasid lugging a HUGE ( I'm talking MEGA JUMBO, get it only from the local manufacturer and be sure to bring your own forklift when you're coming ) tub of hair gel. The big man is about to collapse under the strain but they finally get it up to Trowa's room using 27 of the Maguanacs and some help from Sandrock. (who just happened to be passing by at the time o_^ ? ) Cause heaven forbid- it should fall out of place. Trowa is his expressionless self as Catherine does her knife throwing act. All of a sudden he lets out an ear piercing shriek - one of Catherine's knives has pinned his bang to the Bull's eye. Everyone (including the animals) sweatdrops as he carefully tries to dislodge the blade, whimpering about how much of an effort it is to maintain a hair style like this. Oh oh you think you're something special Oh oh you think you're something else Okay ...so you're Brad Pitt Trowa vogues for the camera That don't impress me much * flashback ends * again the swirling. Duo pounds his head with the palms of his hands. Man! this is giving me a migraine. So you've got the looks but have you got the touch Image of Trowa hugging himself with a satisfied grin on his face...enough to give you the heebie geebies Now don't get me wrong- yeah I think you're alright But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night. Trowa in bed snuggling a hand mirror...something better when not witnessed That don't impress me much Duo begins to munch on dry cereal...all the milk is done. He scratches Trowa off his mental list. Next up ...Wufei...Oh my... * flashback starts up again * some more swir...will you cut with the @$%$^(^ swirling already !! Do you want me to hurl my cereal or something? All the technology in this (&$R$)E^$# world and you can't even come up with a better ^%#!^%&^ effect? Quicksylver voice over: Sigh...will fading work? Yeah! fading's good. FLASH BACK- thank you very nuch Mr. Picky Gundam Pilot Man! >_<* fades directly into memories...no swirling whatsoever! Thanks You're welcome...Ok...on with it. You're one of those guys who likes to shine his machine Wufei cooing gently to Nataku as he completes the Fifth wax. Duo can see the dates in a pocket calendar on a wall across the hanger clearly reflected in the gundam's metal. Damn! Duo makes the mistake of smudging the fininsh and is chased by a maniacal, katana wielding Chinese all over the Winner compound. You make me take off my shoes before you let me get in. Wufei stands near Nataku with his katana, fending off any nosy people (like the mechanics who would fix his gundam) who would defile his goddess with even a side ways glance. poor Quatre trips in front of the suit and is subjected to an hour of ranting with a healthy serving of justice on the side. I can't believe you kiss your car good night He blows kisses to his gundam each night before retiring to bed, reluctant to leave her. He promises to return and runs off weeping. Come on baby tell me - you must be joking right? He comes back precisely 6 minutes and 18 seconds later with a sleeping bag to camp at her feet. Anything for his goddess. Oh oh you think you're something special Oh oh you think you're something else Wufei standing on top of Nataku in a mask and cape blowing in the wind and a cowboy hat. " In the name of justice...Hi Ho Shenlong away!" Okay...so you got a car Nataku strikes a pose and Duo faints dead away That don't impress me much She and Wufei are doing the John Travolta 'Saturday Night Fever' finger dance over over a prone Duo with psychedelic swirling eyes. So you've got the moves but have you got the touch? Now they're walking like Egyptians Hey ...no whistling allowed Duo! Gomen...couldn't help it. Now don't get me wrong- yeah I think you're alright But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night. * flashback ends * fades back to present. Duo slams down the box, spilling cereal across the table. Another one bites the dust! So you think you're cool but have you got the touch? yeah...the touch of plague! Now don't get me wrong- yeah I think you're alright But that won't keep me warm on those long cold lonely nights Uh huh yeah Damn Skippy! Okay... so what do you think you're Elvis or something? Thankyverymuch...uh huh.. That don't impress me much...oh no Quatre walks into the kitchen. He spies the spilled cereal and the empty bottle of milk but decides that it's still a bit too early to say anything. He turns to see Duo staring at him with a raised eyebrow and has the feeling that he's not going to like this. Next up ...Quatre...hmmm... That don't impress me! Finis...

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