By quicksylver
My latest humour attempt was inspired by 'Hair Wars' fic i read
once and the sitcom Martin. If any of you have seen Martin
then you know that he's always dogging on Pam cause of her Weave
(or Hair extensions if you don't know what weave is)
Standard Disclaimers apply. Warnings: some Language, lame humour,shounen ai.OCC
Enjoy!
Suddenly the old door of the safe house opened with a bang and a very angry Duo Maxwell stormed through the small living room, almost setting aflame the carpet he walked on. Quatre looked at Duo 's retreating back, then at Trowa who shrugged, then to Heero, who had walked in behind the Shinigami pilot.
He raised an eyebrow questioningly but Heero just shrugged.
"Some girl at the mall thought Duo was a girl." He stated nonchalantly.
Quatre frowned, that had happened before. Why would Duo be so mad? Heero was about to say more when Duo stormed back into the room.
"And not only that!" he screeched, "But that bitch had the audacity to ask me where I got my piece!"
"Huh?" Quatre grunted, why would she want to know where Duo had gotten his gun?
"She was talking about his hair" Heero clarified.
Duo paced the length of the room angrily.
" Can you believe she actually thought this was weave!?!" he held up his thick chestnut braid.
"Anyway..." Heero continued, "When he told her that it was real she didn't believe him."
"That blind bat!" Duo fumed, petting his thick braid like a pet, "probably can't see her hand if it poked her in the eye."
"Well... serves you right for keeping your hair in that god forsaken braid all the time!" Wufei stated, looking up from cleaning his blade.
The room stood still as Duo slowly turned to face the Shenlong pilot. Heero took a step back quietly and Quatre and Trowa made themselves as small as they could manage. Insulting Duo's hair was like throwing a propane tank onto a fire and waiting for it to explode.
Suddenly Wufei was on his back trying to fight off a truly pissed off Duo who was proceeding to choke the life out of him. The whole armchair had been knocked over, all that could be seen was Duo 's head and shoulders between Wufei's feet.It took a few seconds for Heero to gather himself and pry Duo, kicking and cursing, off of the Chinese boy.
He held the braided boy at bay while Quatre and Trowa helped a disoriented Wufei to his feet. When Duo had sufficiently calmed down, he let him go, only to dive after him again as Duo scrambled to tackle Wufei once more.
Eventually Duo had to be locked in his room by the time they had managed to hold him again and the sound of cursing and things crashing and breaking were heard for next two hours. Heero watched as the others tended to the bruises on Wufei's neck before turning towards the room he shared with the Shinigami pilot. He sighed, dreading the upcoming encounter.
Slowly he unlocked the door of the room, bracing himself for the onslaught but what he found was Duo sleeping away on the bed while the room looked like the aftermath of a tornado. Heero shrugged, apparently the tantrum he threw had drained him of energy. It was just as well. He tugged off his own jacket and lay down next to Duo on the bed, hoping all would be forgotten in the morning.
It seemingly was, as Duo had appeared in the kitchen the next day, well rested and full of smiles. He greeted Quatre and Trowa as they came for breakfast, kissing Heero lightly on the nose as he set a plate of scrambled eggs before him. Heero and Quatre exchanged looks, it seemed that Duo had forgotten all about the day before.
He was about to shove a spoon full of egg into his mouth when a scream of pure terror echoed through the house.The three pilots immediately jumped to their feet, ready for action when Wufei burst into the room with another ear hurting screech. Heero sat down again with a whumph as Quatre's eyes grew to the size of saucers.
Sometime during the night, Wufei's hair had been massacred. Now, what little there was left of it stuck out unevenly in ragged tufts amidst the various bald spots.From the corner of the kitchen Duo chuckled.
"Looks like someone in here is in serious need of some hair extensions eh? I know of a really good place."
Heero shook his head and put down his spoon as Duo was chased out of the house by a katana wielding Chinese, picking up the morning paper. He hn'd as the shouting and laughing echoed through the small kitchen; today is going to be one long day.
You'd better beweave it!
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